Episodes Of Minneapolis: Dirty Little Secret

BY : JaxRhapsody
Category: Comics > Peanuts
Dragon prints: 156
Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine, but the plot- I ain't making no money.

“God, I love him so much, why can’t I say anything? Every time I try; I just screw up, I can’t get the words straight. Always ends up so vague, I just can’t express my feelings, why,” Patricia thought to herself.

“Earth to Patricia… are you okay,” Marcie waved her hand in her face.

“Has she figured out how to sleep with her eyes open,” Franklin wondered.

She blinked a few times, “wha? Why’s everybody staring at me?”

“Did you fall asleep,” Franklin asked.

“No! I was just lost in thought.

“You sure,” Marcie looked over her glasses.

“I promise. I just zoned out, that’s all.”

“Trisha, you’re silly,” Charlie laughed.

“So ya like a sense of humor, huh Chuck? Are ya telling me something?”

“Umm… that you’re weird sometimes…?”

“Fuck,” she thought.

“Welp… there’s the bell,” Linus got up.


Every time Patricia see’s Charlie, her heart flutters, when his eyes lock on hers, when he smiles- which is super special with how his day-to-day goes. She just wants to comfort him during his worst, in that way he needs, better than Linus does, the only way a woman can. How can she, when she can’t bring herself to even reveal her love?

“Damn it,” she punches her locker, “it’s like I’m friendzoning myself.”

She fights back the tears, before going to class, hoping nobody notices.


“What a doofus! Are you sure you’re parents aren’t ashamed you were born, Charlie Brown?”

“I haven’t even done anything.”

“You were born, Charlie… born as the bane of my existence.”

“That’s my line, I’m older than you!”

“Yeah, and you sure aren’t smarter, this homework was easy, how did you get a D,” she pointed to his paper.

“I had to help Sally with her homework, last night! I barely had time to finish mine.”

“Both of you need to take responsibility for yourselves. If you keep helping… or should I say; doing, her homework, you’re going to be the one to fail, while she skirts by. You can’t even stand up to your own sister. Ya know that’s why she doesn’t respect you.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “you’re right.”

Lucy scoffed, “I’m always right, blockhead.”

“Do you have to be so mean about it?”

“I’m not mean, it’s just tough love, I’m your friend,” she walked away.

“With friends like you; who needs enemies,” he murmured.


Patricia watches Charlie trudge through the hallway, head down to his next class.

“Aww… he’s hurting, I bet it was that wench, Lucy! I need to say something to make my Baby feel better,” she walked up to him, “something caring.”

The closer she gets, the more nervous she gets.

“Hiya, Chuck,” she slapped his back, knocking him down.

“Hi Patricia,” he greeted the tile.

“Lemme help you up,” she grabbed him, “what’s gotcha down… other than me, of course.”


“I fucking knew it,” she thought.

“… being hard on me again.”

“You gotta stand up to her, tell her what for!”

“Oh yeah, so she can show me what for… no thanks.”

“I get that you’re like… you, but… you’re a guy; act like it.”

“Thanks for the advice, Patricia,” he walked away.

“Damn it, you did it again… stupid, stupid “ she smacked her forehead.


Charlie meets up with Linus after school, getting on the bus, walking past Lucy and Violet making faces and calling him names.

“Charlie… you gotta stop letting her get to you, you know everything she does is just to keep you down.”

“What can I do about it, without getting beat up?”

“Just stand up to her. I did.”

“But she still teases you, too.”

“Not as bad. She knows where my tolerance lies. How much more are you willing to endure?”

“I don’t know, Linus,” he sighed.

“Muster up all that pent up rage, I know you have, and give her an ultimative. If it looks like you’re getting a spine, and you can tough it out; she’ll back down.”

“I’ll seriously consider it.”


Later on, Lucy walked over to Schroeder’s place to try and seduce him again, her hormones kicking, and of course, there’s nobody else for her, but him.

“Hey there,” she walked in, wearing slippers, booty shorts, and a silk camisole.

He didn't even look up at her, as he played.

“Schroeder… we’ve been playing this cat and mouse game too long,” she leaned on the baby grand, “so let’s just bypass all of that and cut to the chase. I know the marriage thing is too much, so  I’m trying to be more realistic.”

“Finally. So does that mean you’re going to leave?”

“No silly,” she giggled, “I’m offering a beginning, what all teenaged boys like and desire… my virginity.”

Schroeder smashed the keys, his eyes darted over to her, looking her up and down.

“Easy access,” she teased.



“No… I mean wow; this is a new low for you,” his voice cold. “You think dressing like a slut makes me want you even more?!”

“Umm… look at these curves, any guy would love to have this.”

“Then go find some other guy, because I do not want it, not with a dildo on a ten foot pole, operated remotely in a van two blocks away.”

“Are you fucking serious, right now?”

“As serious as that statutory rape case, you’re trying to get,” his eyes narrowed.

“Stat… I .. you… such an asshole think to say,” she stomped out.


On her way home she thought about what he said, maybe she should just find another guy, and see how he feels after somebody else deflowered her. She thinks she spotted Charlie out in the park, picking up a football out of somebodies yard.

“I need some cheering up. And making him miserable is just as good as sex,” she told herself.

Going to the park, she watched him unsuccessfully try to fly a kite, just to feed that tree again.

“Don’t eat me,” he cried as he yo-yoed in and out of the tree on the kite string.

“Hi Charlie,” she greeted.

“Hi Lucy… fuck,” he greeted when the string snapped.

“Rough time flying a kite again?”

“Yep, he dusted himself off.”

“How about forgetting that, and kicking the football with me?”

“No thanks… I flew enough today.”

“C’mon… it’s easier than flying a kite, and I know it’ll make you happy once you finally see this bad boy soaring in the air, better than any dumb ‘ol kite.”

“You’re just going to pull it the moment I kick it,” he surmised.

“No I won’t, your day has been bad enough.”

“I don’t believe you,” he huffed.

“Okay… let’s make a deal; I know I’m not your cup of tea, but look at me… if you kick this football and really send it flying; you can grope my tits.”

He looked at her baffled.

“Like I said; I know you don’t like me, but even you can agree the busty girls look nice, and I’m not wearing a bra. Tits are tits, close your eyes if you want. The best win you’d get all week.”

He stared at her chest, in his opinion, they were the nicest thing about her, and he’ll be so stocked after kicking that ball, he wouldn’t even think twice about it, “deal, you promise?”

She jiggled one with her free hand.

Still apprehensive about it, but he never thought he’d ever touch a breast, much less actually get a whole girlfriend. He took a quick walk  opening the distance, watching her set the football up. Charlie sprints across the field  quickly closing the gap, going for the kick.

“I gotta get at least one win today,” he thought.

“You can do it, Charlie, show this ball who’s boss,” she cheered.

“I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it,” he thought, “I’m kicking…”

His thoughts trailed off, like his foot, eyes following the ball retreat safely next to Lucy’s grinning face, landing right on his back, staring at the sky.

“That was awesome, you had so much hope in your eyes,” she laughed looking over him, “this just made my day, you always fall for that! You really are a doofus- a gullible one at that! Look at you laying there, don’t tell me you’re about to cry, could this get any better? Maybe we should start calling you ‘Crybaby Boobie’, huh?”

Charlie forced away the tears, staring at her lording, triumphant pose. “Muster all that anger,” he remembered.

“Fuck you,” he groaned.

“Excuse me?”

“I said… fuck you,” he got himself up, “fuck you, Lucy.”

“How dare you say that to me,” she leered.

“How dare you make my life a living hell! Always praying on poor Charlie Brown, never giving me a god damned break, never caring about me, when we started out as friends, then you turned in to a loud-mouthed wench of a girl! Stay away from me, you spiteful, hateful bitch! I am done with you, you fucking bitch,” he yelled in her face until his voice cracked.

The rage in her eyes started to match his own.

“The audacity of you-”

“That’s right, my audacity! It’s time somebody puts you in your place. And you wonder why Schroeder fucking hates you,” he started to walk away.

She was ready to start swinging on him, but thought this might be to her advantage, “Charlie… you’re right. Any other time I’d have planted you, like a dumbass tree, but you’re right.”

“No shit, so leave me alone,” he snapped.

“I will… if you do something for me, in return. One thing, for me, our secret, I’ll stay out of  your life. If not; you’re going to be paying for that outburst all week,” she calmed down.

“What, why should I trust you,” he whipped around.

She walked to him.

“Here… a real show of good faith,” she pushed her chest out, “if you do this; we both win. I get something I want, and you get something even bigger. Here.”

“Here what?”

“Touch them, grab them, whatever, get your feel.”

“Ummm,” he slowly reached out, poking one.

“Is that it?”

Charlie grabbed both, squeezing them, pressing them together, she had her eyes closed.

“Are you satisfied?”

“Uh yeah, I guess… they’re soft, and feel nice.”

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