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Harley's Joke	By : tooshoes Category: DC Verse Comics > Batgirl Views: 3918 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batgirl, Harley Quinn, James Gordon or any of the characters or situations of the Batman universe. I will not be making any money from this story.

Chapter List
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Harley sits in her home office on a brown leather chair with a clipboard perched atop her crossed knees. She looks professional in an elegant grey suit and long skirt, but her dark tights show off her legs down to a black thong sandal that hangs precariously from her raised foot. Her look is simultaneously disarming and refined, and it is exactly the look Harley wants to project.
Her high-profile clients are all parents of troubled, hormone-rattled girls who have recently been infected by the menarche bug. Somehow these intelligent adults are taken aback when their daughters go through changes and are seemingly transformed into demon-possessed children. So their parents look for a miracle, and they don't care if the miracle comes from a priest or a doctor.
When the parents meet Harley, she gives them hope. She is an acknowledged expert on sexual dysfunction, and she reminds the parents that she "cured" several troubled youths in Arkham in her two short years since medical school, and driving the demons from their lost daughters will require only a little of her considerable psycho-science magic. Harley presents herself as an ideal role model: professional, young, and beautiful. Their girls are afraid to grow up, but when the girls take one look at Harley, they see a version of adulthood that they would like for themselves.
The parents see what Harley wants them to see. They pay big bucks for a reputation, for a look, and for a miracle, although all that is usually needed is for someone to sit and listen to the suffering girls who only need to talk and cry and not be judged, and eventually, the demons would leave on their own.
Parents often ask the winsome wunderkind why she gave up her work at Arkham after she famously cured the troubled girl Alice Tetch. They are amazed that such a touted doctor could be so affordable. She tells them she feels a special calling to help these very young women because she had a difficult transition to adulthood herself.
That part was true, but the rest was bullshit.
The truth is that at her price-per-hour, she can pick any patient she wants. Then, if a girl doesn't serve her purposes, she will refer that patient to someone else.
Right now, for example, the girl sitting across from her is a complete bore and has no issues with her parents. She is chronically depressed, and the sudden influx of hormones in her life is making her depression worse, turning her into a little bitch. However, none of those problems suit Harley's purposes, so she will drop this patient as soon as she can think of the right colleague to refer the girl to.
What Harley is looking for is an innocent girl she can have fun with, manipulate, and who is willing to share dirt about her parents. That's what Harley needs because that's what Joker, her Puddin', needs.
She met her bae last year while he was suffering in Arkham, and it was love at first sight. Her expertise was with adolescent psychology, not that of the criminally insane, but nobody else wanted to deal with the demented clown, so they let her have a try at it. She was never suspected when he mysteriously escaped from Arkham a week later.
Since then, she visited her Puddin' every night after work in whatever secret place he desired, often in her own home. It was like a honeymoon at first, making mad love at any opportunity, usually with a hard-core kink to make it more exciting.
Harley went along with what others would consider sexual abuse because she was excited whenever he was excited, even when he humiliated or hurt her. She could take it all and want more. She often left the bed with bruises that were hard to explain back at work, but even the aches and embarrassment of the bruises were exciting reminders of awaited her at night.
Some nights he didn't want to have sex. Instead, he would rant and rave about Batman, or the police who were always chasing him, or the Gotham elite who were all hypocrites.
Harley would try to get his attention with lingerie and perfume and wild costumes, but she didn't mind if he didn't notice, so long as she could be with him.
But before long, he lost his desire for Harley completely, and he disappeared for days on end. Despite her reputation, she was not immune to fantasy or obsession. She had imagined that their love would last forever, so she was devastated. This was the one thing she just could not tolerate. She searched her memory and the asylum logs for the secret that could restore his passion.
The answer to her problem was not a secret at all, but she denied it for as long as she could.
Harley looks very young for her age, and she acts even younger when not playing doctor. That is what Joker likes, but he prefers is the real thing. He isn't exactly a pedophile or even a hebephile, but he craves what he can't have, and middle school girls are deliciously forbidden and innocent. They are virgins to spoil, and the world treats such exploitation as an utter tragedy, even if the girl is eager, which he finds delightfully absurd. Pubescent girls are often much more sexual than society or even the girls like to admit.
That mix of innocence and untamed passion is the only thing that gets Joker hard these days.
Harley can't give him that kind of thrill with her youthful but adult body and mind, so one day he just stopped showing up or even answering her frequent calls and messages.
Harley's latched onto Joker's forbidden desires, adopting them as her own, attempting to entice him any way she could, if not with her own charms then with those of her patients. She will use one patient to find another, if that's what it takes. If she loses her career for the sake of her Puddin', so be it!
The pubescent girls under Harley's care have always dreamed of being Disney princesses, but their hormones are suddenly boiling over. They are terrified of what is happening in their bodies and their minds. While most therapists train girls to curb these fantasies, as if the fantasies themselves were sexual monsters, Harley teaches her girls to embraces their wilder fantasies, and that opens all kinds of doors for the girls that were once unspeakable.
Harley fancies herself as giving both the girls and her Puddin' what they need. Harley is nothing if not accommodating. Nothing else matters to her. She can even get into a three-way with a little girl, if that will keep her in his heart. Seducing a young girl is easier than people like to believe. Harley is masterful with her patients, and her powers of suggestion do wonders with those who are open to it, able to turn a saint into a siren. Harley's patients are not only very young and beautiful, but they are also the children of Gotham's elite and powerful. So Harley's girls not only satisfy Joker's perverse desires but also his need for revenge!
Unfortunately, Joker's appetite for the extreme grows more difficult to satisfy over time.
Accordingly, she sends him frequent updates on her girls, but he rarely calls Harley back, anymore. None of her girls excite him, anymore. None of the girls make him laugh. He demands everything of them, yet they all lack one thing or another, whether that be beauty, innocence, passion, compliance, or mischief. Contradictions are at the heart of his life and how he sees society, and the girl must exemplify that. In short, the girl must make him laugh, not by what she says or what she does but by who she is.
So it's a very tall order, and Harley hates the idea of sharing Joker with anyone else, much less with a child. But these girls are Harley's only chance to win back her Puddin's heart.
If only one of them could pass the test!
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Harley's Joke