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Birds and Bees	By : defying3reason Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 2564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, or any aspect of the broader DC Universe, and I make no money from my fanfiction

Chapter List
- 23
- 24
- 25
Chapter Twenty Four
Roy was uncharacteristically quiet during the dinner, which was just odd because it seemed like Ollie was baiting him (because even the brash and tactless archer wasn't dense enough to miss how aggravating he was being). Lian frowned, watching as her father pushed things around on his plate, occasionally taking a bite without seeming to taste or even notice what he was eating.
She considered taking out her belly button piercing and letting it heal back up (but not the nose; the nose was too cute to lose). Maybe she'd taken things a bit too far the previous week. It was just difficult not to take advantage of her grandpa's generosity. That was how Oliver Queen showed his affection for his family, and the poor man always seemed to be carrying so much guilt: for being dead for so much of Lian's childhood, for never visiting her enough during those two years they'd both been alive at the same time, and, like everyone else she knew, for not being able to save her when Prometheus and the Electrocutioner brought Star City down on her head. If it made him feel better, she'd go on as many shopping trips as he wanted (and the stuff he bought her wasn't that bad either).
Lian was looking over the dessert menu when Ollie asked Roy to step outside. Dick practically jumped out of his chair. It was almost funny, how flustered and protective he looked. He finally managed to put a coherent sentence together, with one hand resting protectively on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Ollie, that might not be such a good idea-"
"It's just for a few minutes kiddo. You can lose that panicked look too. Do I need to remind you how long I've been driving this guy crazy? I still get invited to Christmas dinner every year anyway," Ollie said with a wink.
Roy smirked, and then mumbled something to Dick, got up, and the two archers went to stand outside.
Dick stared after Roy, brow creased with worry. Lian set the menu down and tried to smile reassuringly at him, though she found his concern too cute for words. "Don't worry Uncle Dick. If they were going to kill each other, they would have done it by now."
Dick snorted, then nodded his agreement. "Several times over, probably."
Meanwhile outside, Ollie fixed Roy with a penetrating light green stare, similar to Connor's but never capturing the easy compassion that came so naturally to the man's son. "Alright Harper, spill. What the hell's wrong?"
Roy quirked an eyebrow. "You have to ask? After everything you've been doing to me?"
"I've been undermining you to the princess for ages, and yeah you've slugged me for it a few times, but this shutting down thing…this isn't you, so what's really wrong? I've been trying to get you to liven up all dinner. Is this a new punishment for me? A psychological torture thing?"
Roy rolled his eyes. "It's not all about you Ollie. In fact, most things of importance in the world have nothing to do with you."
Ollie grinned. "That's more like you. For the record kid, your little girl really does respect you and your rules. Someone made her think that tattoos and piercings look attractive, and she wants to be covered in 'em someday. But she thought the nose and the belly button was as far as she could push you for now. And I was gonna take her down to the animal shelter tonight, but she said she wanted to wait for you to come downstairs and talk it over. I thought the dinner might soften you up and make you more talkative. You kinda shut down this week."
"Yeah, and you're all over the fucking place. Will you make up with your bio son already?" Roy snapped, dripping petulance.
Ollie looked a little stricken for a second, and then he laughed. "Put that together, did you? Christ Roy…I still haven't met Connor's girl properly and they're living together. I mean, I've seen her at the grocery store she works at, but she's never been over for dinner or anything important."
"Is he mad about the cult thing or is it more than that?"
"The cult thing is part of the same old hurt," Ollie said bitterly. "I don't know how to apologize for something I did almost three decades ago. I've been trying for the past decade and it hasn't been working."
"I can try talking to him again if you want," Roy offered.
Ollie shrugged. "Thanks kid, but Hal and Mia have already pleaded my case. I don't know if it'd help. Hal says he just needs time. I miss him though. Maybe it's because I had such a small part in his life, but the kid's pretty spectacular. I wish I had the right to be proud of him."
That was possibly the saddest thing Roy had ever heard his old mentor say, and it hit him hardest as a parent. Feeling like your kid had far surpassed you and all your flaws was a feeling Roy knew well, but it was a redeeming feeling for him. Lian had brought purpose to his life, and pride. Maybe he'd made lots of mistakes, but he'd learned from them and used them to create and nurture a child that he loved and was fiercely proud of. He couldn't imagine how much it would hurt to just have the shame and regret without feeling like you were a part of the kid's successes.
"Ollie…I'm really sorry. But Connor does love you too. You guys'll work through this."
"I really hope so kid," Ollie said, smiling bitterly. "So enough about me. I dragged you out here because I was worried about you. If you're not holding yourself in check so you don't beat the ever living shit out of me, what is it? I really thought I'd been the one to piss you o-Nightwing. Something going on with you and your bird then?"
Suddenly, everything had become so ridiculously melancholy that Roy just had to laugh at it. Ollie stared at him, concerned for his mental health from the looks of it, but he joined in for a chuckle. When Roy could speak again, he filled Ollie in on the nature of the conversation he'd interrupted.
"Oh geeze, no wonder you guys have been trying to kill me with your eyes. Why don't I take the princess out for the night and the two of you can finish whatever it is you need to say in private?"
"It's okay Ollie. I'm emotionally spent at this point. Dick's had too much time now to stew in his thoughts and make the worst of whatever he was initially going to say to me. I'm sure the next time we're alone together he's just going to dump me or something, and frankly I'd like to avoid that and let the delusion that I could possibly be his one last a little longer."
"He's your one then?" Ollie asked. Roy nodded. "You're sure? Not Diana's little sister, or any of those other girls I remember you chasing after?"
"I've been in love with Dick since I was sixteen. I've just never felt good enough for him until now."
Ollie nodded approvingly. "Well the guy's got my blessing, for all that's worth. Here's hoping his screwed up Bat-brain hasn't over-complicated things too much. I still think I should take Lian out and give you guys some time alone to talk. Wait, better yet, you guys go out. I'll keep an eye on her at the house."
"Ollie, you really don't have to-" but as Roy spoke, Ollie pulled out his wallet and handed Roy a credit card. It was more than a little tempting to max out that card as payback for everything Roy had been putting up with that week. He pocketed the card, and then the two men went back inside to rejoin Dick and Lian.

Lian followed her oddball little family out of the restaurant with a doggy bag containing her leftovers and dessert, wondering what was going to happen now that dinner was over. She knew the tension had to break at some point, and wondered if she'd be around to see it.
Apparently not. Ollie dropped Roy and Dick off in an artsy neighborhood in downtown Keystone that was undergoing revitalization. It was full of cute little shops and galleries; basically a great place to walk around with a date. Lian watched them go, feeling slightly confused (as did Dick, based on his initial expression), and then Ollie took off for her house.
Or, he was heading towards her house for as long as they were in sight of the lovers. Then he made a sudden turn. "Hey princess, you wanna look up the animal shelters in the area on your smartphone and check their hours?"
Lian frowned. "I don't think Daddy wants me to get a dog though."
"He didn't say no, and besides, it doesn't hurt to look. We'll take a few pictures and then see him try to say no to a cute little furry face. How's that sound?"
It sounded harmless enough…
Lian took out her phone and did as her grandpa suggested.

"Are you sure you want to leave Ollie alone with Lian right now?" Dick asked.
"Not in the least, actually, but I do trust my kid. She knows how far she can push me. So…" Roy shoved his hand in his jacket pocket and started walking. Dick fell in step beside him, and did a good show of pretending to look into store windows like any of the other people crowding the sidewalks. His sharp blue eyes kept flicking over to Roy though. "Do you have an answer for me yet?"
Dick walked close beside him, leaned over, and whispered in his ear. "Yes. I want to stay with you, only you."
Roy's insides suddenly felt warm and wiggly, and if they hadn't been on a crowded street surrounded by strangers he probably would have given a go at doing a one armed hand stand. He contained his jubilation and forced it into a small smile. "Lucky me then. Okay, no more stupid ultimatums."
"Promise?"
Roy nodded.
Dick's eyes were shining. "Cool. Then I'll move to Kansas."

Roy and Dick were gone for hours. By the time they made their slow progress up the front walk and towards the house it was nearly midnight. Roy had his hand at his side, and his fingers kept brushing up against Dick's.
He fished his keys out to unlock the front door, and as he did so he turned to look at Dick. "Are you gonna come in or do you need to take off?"
Dick checked the time on his cell. "I think I might as well skip patrol at this point. Is it okay if I crash here?"
"Course it is." He leaned in for a quick kiss and, still feeling euphoric in a way he rarely got to experience, Roy got his front door open and walked into the living room.
The euphoria instantly evaporated when he saw what was waiting for him.
"Daddy! Hi. We were-we were starting to think you weren't going to come home tonight. It's not what it looks like."
"Really?" Roy asked in a dangerous tone. "Because it looks an awful lot like you're wearing a superhero costume."
Dick had just walked into the living room, and upon catching sight of Lian standing in the center of the room sporting a tight fitting purple leather ensemble, black domino, and knee boots, he retreated and went upstairs.
Ollie was standing near Lian with measuring tape, and there was an open sewing kit and bags of material around them on the floor.
"And why shouldn't she have a costume?" Ollie snapped. "You said you were going to let her do it eventually anyway."
Instead of answering, Roy stomped upstairs. He passed his bewildered boyfriend as he made his way towards his bedroom. Roy reached around under the bed until he found his prosthetic, then he popped it in and went back downstairs. Ollie and Lian were in much the same position they'd been when he'd left, though Lian looked heartsick and guilty.
Then Roy grabbed Ollie by the collar with his metal arm and Lian looked terrified. "Daddy, what are you doing?!"
"Ro-urghk!"
Roy hauled Ollie out of the room, through the front hall, and threw him out the front door. The emerald archer was still sprawled on the concrete floor of their porch when his suitcases were chucked on top of him. Roy slammed the door shut and forcefully locked it, then he calmly removed the prosthetic, set it against the front door, and walked into the living room.
Lian had thrown a t-shirt on over her costume top by then and peeled off the domino mask. Tears were streaming down her face.
"Oh honey, please don't cry. Lian, I'm not mad at you, I swear." He darted forward and pulled her into a hug. Lian buried her face in his chest, small shoulders shaking with her sobs.
"I'm sorry Daddy, and I swear, it's not how it looked! I-I mean, I did want to…I wanted to have the costume done now just in case I had to use it, but I swear I still wasn't going to until I was sixteen, like you said. And Grandpa offered and-and we thought we could get it done before you were home…Daddy, I'm sorry."
"Why do you think you need a costume now?" Roy asked.
"Well…well Daddy…" He gently steered her towards the couch and handed her a box of tissues, and once she'd calmed a little she continued. "I just…I don't think it's an option for me to not be involved in costumed stuff. Everyone I really care about wears one, and when big things happen…I want to help."
"I get that sweetheart, but you're still so young."
"Younger people than me have put on costumes. Uncle Dick was way younger when he started."
"Mm hm. And we all know better than to let kids start at ten these days. Well, we made exceptions with Damian and Irey, but they were exceptional cases. Lian…does this have anything to do with your mother?" Roy asked.
Lian looked down at her knees, and nodded. "She tried to kill me, and then a year later she tried to take you away. If I need to fight her, I want to be ready. So far she's kinda shown that she's not going to wait for me to turn sixteen."
True enough. "Dick said you worked really well with Irey and Damian. And I've noticed some of my stuff's been put back in the wrong place. Are you training?"
Lian chewed her lip, then nodded again. "I've been teaching myself a lot, and so has Damian."
Roy let out a pained breath and rubbed at his eyes. "Oh man. I didn't…I really didn't want you to be scared like that." He didn't know what to say after that. He wanted to follow it through with 'You don't have to be,' and 'I'll always protect you,' but they both knew that that wasn't actually the case. Jade had done a pretty thorough job piercing the illusion of safety Roy had tried to give their daughter.
"I just…I think the only way I'm really going to be safe is if I'm ready," Lian said.
Painful though it was, Roy agreed. "I'm so sorry Lian…my only job is to protect you from this shit so you don't have to, and I can't. I just can't."
"No, Daddy, it's not like that!" Lian squeezed him tightly. "You do a great job protecting me and keeping me safe. Too good a job, really! A lot of the time I wish you were a little worse at it so I could have more of a social life. But it's just, some things out there are really big and there's only so much we can do. I just think I need to know how to defend myself a little better, and then everything will be fine."
Roy nodded. "Alright. I'll start training you in earnest then."
"Really?" Lian asked, excitement flickering in her eyes. It looked for a moment like Christmas had come early. "You're really okay with it?"
"Yeah. I'll show you everything I know, and if you really want to, you can keep training with Damian too." He wasn't going to let his dislike of the haughty teen keep his daughter from getting tips from one of the best fighters alive. "Li…will you just say whatever else it is on your mind? I don't think I can take anymore shocks tonight."
"I was just wondering, um…if it would be pushing it too much if I asked if I could keep the costume."
"Oh." Roy let out a startled laugh. "You know, I didn't get a very clear look at it. I was too distracted by…"
"Murderous intent towards Grandpa? Do you think he's still outside?"
"No, I think he got the message. Anyway, take off the t-shirt and let me see it."
Lian put her mask back on, removed the t-shirt, and stood in front of her father.
It wasn't a bad little outfit, really. The mask was a bit wider and more slender than your average domino, with large openings for her eyes and optional white lenses. The top was a tightly fitted purple leather tank top, with lacing up the sides (probably to allow room for her ever expanding chest), with a bare midriff, a matching purple skirt, wrist guards, and sturdy black knee boots with purple rubber soles.
"It's too skimpy."
"It's a superhero costume," Lian whined.
"For a fourteen year old. Does you midriff have to be bare?" He was tempted to remind her that he hadn't worn a tightly fitted costume until he'd been in his twenties.
"Well no, but…I took the belly button ring out!"
"Yeah, you shoulda done that four days ago when I asked. I don't want your stomach showing. Otherwise I think it's a good costume. What are you going to call yourself?" Roy asked.
"Well, I need to run it by Mia first, but I really want to be Speedy."
Roy probably shouldn't have been surprised by that, but for some reason he really was. Even though there were very few things about him that he was comfortable with his daughter emulating, he was still happy to hear that she wanted to take his old name. "I…think she'll probably be okay with that."
"Even if she's not, I might do it anyway. Just seems better to ask first." Lian danced over to give him another hug, then went to get changed into pajamas.
Roy went over to the front door and glanced outside to see if Ollie was still there. Not only was he gone, but so were the suitcases and the rental car. Satisfied, Roy went upstairs to fill his (likely terrified) boyfriend in on what had happened.
Dick was sitting on his bed looking pale and uneasy while texting someone. Mildly curious about who Dick was gossiping about him with, Roy flopped onto the bed and let out an exhausted groan. "It's okay Dick. I didn't kill Ollie."
"I'm very proud of your restraint." Dick tossed his phone aside and then curled up next to Roy. "Everything's okay?"
He knew what Dick meant, but actually, despite recent stressors things were pretty spectacular. Ollie had finally left, Dick had given him the commitment he desperately wanted, and Roy had faced a necessary conversation with his daughter that had been terrifying him for months.
"Yeah, things are great." There wasn't a hint of sarcasm to his voice, as he wasn't being sarcastic, and Dick let out a relieved breath.
"Oh man, I really thought you were going to lose it when I saw her in that costume-"
"I did at first, but…we talked. She convinced me that she's going to need it, from time to time. Actually Dick, I was thinking…" Roy leaned over and started tracing idle patterns on Dick's side with his fingertips. "Maybe we should get the kids together for a Titans group."
"Really?" Dick asked. "You'd be okay with Lian being on the team?"
"She needs to train. I can't kid myself anymore. I can try to insulate her all I want, but the threats are always going to be there, and I want her prepared to face them. Wait, have the kids already been talking about a team?" Roy asked, a bit startled. He wasn't sure there were enough costumed kids to form one.
"Yeah, Damian's been trying to form a team pretty much since the old one disbanded. He wants the leadership experience. We were figuring him, Irey, Lian if you were ever ready, and maybe X'hawn if he decides he wants to go the hero route. I know four's pretty small, but we started out small and you know how these things rapidly expand on you."
"Yeah. Okay, pitch it to Damian and let's see if we can get the ball rolling on this."
"Cool." Dick leaned forward for a kiss, and when he pulled away he was beaming. "This is a much better end to the night than I expected. I mean, the costume seemed bad enough, but I figured when you noticed the dog running around the backyard you'd really lose your-"
"What fucking dog?!"
"…shit. Oh boy."

"How long before we can leave?" Damian hissed.
Bruce quirked an eyebrow, making sure not to outwardly show how amusing he found his son's discomfort. Damian was gifted at many things, but hiding his displeasure was not one of them. In truth, Bruce hated these things as much as the boy did, and if he didn't find the occasional appearance at a society fundraiser prudent for keeping his idiot playboy cover going they wouldn't be standing in a museum gallery avoiding empty headed socialites while pretending to court their interest.
It wasn't Damian's displeasure that amused him per se, it was more that the boy unintentionally acted as a mirror for Bruce's true feelings while he carried on a convincing act.
"I think we need to stay at least another hour or so. We've only been here twenty minutes."
"Do I have to stay another hour?" Damian asked sourly, which was his version of a whine.
The honest answer was no. Bruce had no illusions about Damian's capacity for playing the ditzy billionaire. He knew full well Damian would figure out a different way to keep his secrets when he became a man.
"Yes Damian, you are to remain with me." Because misery loves company. Dick and Tim had served their time at these functions (as had Jason before his death, resurrection, and subsequent rift from their circle). It was Damian's duty as a Robin to support Batman, and Batman particularly enjoyed his support when Damian provided a valid excuse to leave the room when that heiress with the reality TV show was after him.
Damian grumbled irritably under his breath before seating himself on a nearby bench and taking out his e-reader. Bruce considered telling him he ought to at least pretend to be civil with so many society page journalists milling about, but then Selina Kyle entered the room and he decided his attention had better places to be.
Selina made eye contact with him, tilted her head towards the courtyard, and then disappeared into another gallery.
Five minutes later she and Bruce were strolling through the museum's gardens, well away from the other guests.
"I suppose I should open with the requisite 'you're not here to steal anything, are you?'"
Selina smirked. "If I were, I'd have done it by now anyhow. I've been unobserved in this place for upwards of ten minutes."
Bruce raked her over with his eyes, taking in all the jewelry she wore, and then met her defiant green stare again. He was reasonably confident he'd seen all those pieces on her at least once in the past, meaning if they were stolen, they hadn't been stolen that night. It was encouraging, if not ideal.
"Junior's been blowing up facebook for the past twenty minutes or so. Something about piercings, purple leather, Oliver Queen, and a dog. He's not being terribly comprehensible, but whatever it is, it sounds like an interesting night."
Bruce wasn't sure how to address that, so he decided to let it go. "Selina, why did you seek me out? I assume it wasn't to talk about Dick."
"No, but if he's going to be so amusing with his antics, the least I could do was make him an ice-breaker. And, well…I did have a chat with him recently."
It was Bruce's turn to smirk. "I'd heard you helped him track Cheshire down. I was surprised to hear that appealing to your good nature was a successful tactic."
"Mm. Well how would you know? You've never tried."
"You've never given me reason to."
They stood in determined silence for a long few minutes, wills clashing along with cool stares. Selina was the first to break. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked to the side. "Well, anyway, Grayson…made me reconsider our last serious discussion."
Bruce unconsciously rubbed at his forearm. His suit jacket and shirtsleeve covered a recent scar in the shape of four neatly spaced claw marks, which he'd acquired while flinging his arm over his face in the three seconds he had to block once he'd noticed Selina move. She'd gotten him through his body armor, and he still hadn't figured out what she was making her claws out of these days.
That was nearly four months ago. That was just inexcusable. Maybe he'd take a page out of Dick's book and just ask her what she'd maimed him with.
"Our last serious discussion? Was that the one when you called me an inbred misogynist?"
"No Bruce, that was this one." She trailed her finger up his side, coming within centimeters of another recent scar. "I'm talking about the one when I accused you of leading me on for the past fifteen or so years."
"Even if that were the case, which it's not…fifteen's a bit much, don't you think?"
Selina shrugged. "You drop hints, you disappear. Some nights we work together like it's the most natural thing in the world, others we're at each other's throats. Sometimes you're willing to look the other way for me, others you stare me up and down to do a violating inventory of my jewels. The lack of trust does hurt you know."
Bruce didn't say anything to that, trusting to the bitter expression on his face. She'd never proven herself capable of resisting the temptation of under-protected jewels. Why would she start now?
"Bruce…we have so much potential, but we're not getting any younger. You should know what I want from you by now. Would I be a fool to keep waiting?"
Bruce eyed her curiously. "Just what did Dick say to you anyway?"
Selina laughed. "It's stupid of me…but he told me that the ex-sidekicks and partners are…he said they were rooting for me. Even your son. I found that…oddly flattering."
Bruce hadn't really given it that much thought himself. It was probably true though, and he couldn't say he blamed them. He didn't date particularly well (not that any of them did, though Tim had entered a surprising period of stability with Tamara Fox). He could understand why his boys would prefer Selina considering the next nearest options.
He certainly did.
"We have been over this before," Bruce said. "And you know my conditions. Would you be able to keep them?"
Selina didn't answer. She didn't need to.
"I think we're finished here then. Please don't steal anything. I think it'd be awkward to chase each other across rooftops tonight considering, don't you?"
"You know, if I was dressed properly you'd be getting a new one for that." She jabbed angrily at a different scar she'd given him, this one on his shoulder, and then stormed back inside.
Bruce found Damian where he'd left him, but he was looking through his phone instead of the e-reader this time. "Grayson and Harper are making spectacles of themselves again," Damian informed him. "I don't know why they post about it for everyone to see. No shame, those two."
"I'd heard something about a dog," Bruce said.
Damian showed him a picture on his phone. "Apparently its name is not Arrow Dog."
Bruce frowned at the picture. It was of a shivering little chihuahua/terrier mix, with patchy white fur and sad looking eyes. "I should hope not. I don't think Arrow Dog suits it very well. Are you ready to leave?"
"I thought we were going to stay an hour."
"We can leave now."
Damian came very near a smile at that announcement. "I'll have to thank Catwoman the next time I see her."
Startled by the comment in light of what Selina had said to him, Bruce was tempted to ask Damian what he thought of Catwoman. He didn't though, just left with him to get their coats and go find Alfred.
As they were leaving the museum they noticed flashing lights and sirens, and a herd of police officers ran past them to get inside. They were yelling something about Catwoman being spotted in the Art Nouveau jewelry exhibit.
"Shall we find somewhere to suit up?" Damian asked.
Bruce considered it. "…no. I'll let her have this one."

"I can't believe how quickly you're picking this up Jai. I can assure you, when I had my first time behind the wheel we most certainly did not leave the parking lot," Piper said with a fond smile.
Jai returned the smile shakily. "I'm okay with machines. Besides, driving doesn't seem to be that hard. I think I'm already better at it than Dad. You sucked though?"
Piper watched Jai calmly merge into oncoming traffic, and decided that the sixteen year old novice driver was in fact quite a lot better at driving than Wally West. Because much as the man loved cars, he still got impatient with how comparatively slowly they moved, and accordingly he wasn't always the most careful driver in the world.
"I was pretty terrible, yeah," Piper answered. "When I was a teenager I was…easily distracted. And a bit of a thrill seeker. My parents refused to take me out, and after one trip each the servants both said that they'd quit before they drove with me again."
"How'd you learn then?" Jai asked, and Piper regretted bringing it up.
But it was nice to be talking with Jai again and having a real conversation, so after an awkward pause Piper continued. "I, er…hung around the Central U parking lot and convinced some undergrads to take me out."
Jai giggled. "Sounds like you were an interesting teenager."
"Keep in mind I was three years shy of my first supercrime at that point," Piper reminded him. "I was doing a lot of stupid and reckless things, and getting into cars with strangers was definitely among them."
"I know, I know. Thanks for teaching me how to drive, by the way. I think if I'd waited for Mom and Dad to actually have time for me I'd be in my thirties before it happened."
"I…think your mom wants to take you out this weekend," Piper said, feeling uncomfortable, and honestly a little angry.
He found it grating that Jai still couldn't accept how much his family cared about him in light of what they'd gone through during his summer of suicide attempts and hospitalizations. Linda was battling with insomnia as a result, Wally was awkwardly expressing his emotions more profusely than ever (which may not have been particularly enjoyable for Jai, but he must have seen what motivated it), and Irey had become a visible wreck every time her brother took a turn for the worse. His family loved him. Why couldn't he just accept it?
Jai snorted derisively. "She always intends to do things with me. Alright, we've been driving around aimlessly for hours now. You must be bored. Should I head back to the parking lot we started in, or should I just drive home?"
"I think you're capable of driving home without scaring your parents. They're going to be surprised about this."
"I've been watching people drive my entire life. It's really not that hard."
Something occurred to Piper then, and he grappled with whether to ask Jai about it for a few miles before he finally spoke up. "Jai…this is your first time driving, right?"
Jai looked at him out of the corner of his eye, and then looked back at the road. "Of course."
"Oh. Well you are remarkably good at it." And Piper had gotten a feel for what a smooth liar the teen was. He knew Jai spent a lot of time with older boys (older boys the adults in his life desperately wished he'd avoid). It wouldn't be terribly surprising if they'd let the young teen behind the wheel a few times.
"I told you Hartley, I'm just good with machines."
They sat in silence for the rest of the drive back to the West house. Jai's face was inscrutable, and Piper was lost in his reminisces about Jai's tween years. That had been the point when they'd really started to bond. He missed sharing comfortable silences with his young friend, and wished the poisonous tension between them would disappear.
He hoped it all cleared up by the time Jai was a young man, but the only way to make that a reality was to suffer through the uncomfortable present.
Jai parked the little hybrid Piper had loaned him to practice on behind his mother's station wagon, then he and Piper went inside to brag to the family about Jai's prowess behind the wheel. They found the house in a state of excitement. Jai's face darkened when he realized that no one had even noticed him walk through the front door.
"Omigawdomigawdomigawd!Thisisreallyhappeningforreal it'sreallyhappening!" Irey squealed at superspeed, dancing through the front hall and sending up sparks of electricity.
"We still need to talk about this!" Linda yelled, running after her with a phone cradled by her ear. "What? Oh Roy, no, of course we're giving her permission, but-IREY WILL YOU CALM DOWN?!"
"Oh come on Linda, let the girl be excited," Wally said dismissively. He grabbed his daughter's shoulder. "Y'wanna take a run and burn off some of that energy so you don't give your mom an aneurism?"
The speed force crackled around her, and suddenly Irey was sporting her Impulse costume. "Yeah! That sounds great!" She turned towards the door, finally noticing Piper gaping at everyone, and Piper finally noticed that Jai had left his side at some point while he'd been staring at the other Wests in surprise. "Hi Uncle Piper! Guess what?!"
"Uh…"
"I'MGONNABEATEENTITAN!"
"Uh…what?"
Wally laughed. "They're finally forming a Teen Titans group. Irey's joining up. First meeting's going to be next Saturday."
"Oh. Congratulations. Um…Jai's quite good at driving, if anyone…" Piper looked around in some confusion, wondering where the surly teen had gone. Then he noticed a door slam upstairs and figured he was barricading himself in his room.
Linda walked into the kitchen, still talking to Roy Harper on the phone. They were making arrangements for the kids from the sounds of it. Irey and Wally bid him an enthusiastic goodbye, then took off in a blur of scarlet motion for some father-daughter bonding time.
Piper remained in the hallway for a few minutes, not quite sure what to do, before finally heading upstairs to check on Jai.
Jai was curled up on his bed, gloomily staring out the window. Piper flicked on the light, sat down next to him on the bed, and gave his knee a gentle squeeze. "Well, I'm proud of you. Learning how to drive is an excellent accomplishment."
"Thanks Hartley," Jai whispered. "So that fuss was about the Teen Titans? Irey's really going to be on a superhero team now?"
Piper nodded, and gave his knee another squeeze.
Jai's face fell. "Sometimes I wish I were more like Irey. Then I wouldn't get left behind so much."
"I rather like you the way you are."
Jai smirked bitterly. "I thought I was a pain in your ass the way I am."
"Well there are some aspects I could do without. You being so down on yourself is chief amongst them. But those are surface details. Past all that there's an interesting young person that I'm grateful to have as a friend."
Jai rested his head against Piper's shoulder, and Piper carefully wrapped an arm around him. He'd consciously limited physical contact with Jai after realizing that the kid had a bit of a crush on him, but he'd also spent a few weeks reinforcing the fact that they were friends, and he felt like friends could hug each other when they were upset. Jai seemed to agree, because he didn't make any of those inappropriate soft sighs or any of the other pointless gestures that immaturity found romantic.
"Thanks Hartley," Jai finally murmured. He pulled away, looking a bit embarrassed about his little tantrum. "You're a really good friend. Sorry I, um…sorry."
"It's alright. I should probably head out soon though. Do you need anything before I leave?"
"Nah. I'm good. Um…can we go out driving again soon?"
Piper smiled. "I'm not sure you really need it, but sure. We can take a few more spins before your license test."
"Cool. Thanks Piper."
Piper went downstairs and hovered uncertainly in the front hall again. It felt a little weird to have walked around in Wally and Linda's house without really talking to them, but they'd also run off to do other things when he'd tried. He was just about to leave anyway when Linda poked her head through the doorway,
"Hey Piper. Can I talk to you for a second?"
Piper dutifully headed towards the kitchen and sat down at the table with her. "Is it about Irey and the Titans?" he asked. "Because I'm not sure how much help I can be. I don't have much experience with that particular team."
Linda quirked an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware you had any experience with them at all."
Piper winced. "I…fought them once during my polka dot days. Wally didn't mention it?"
Linda laughed. "No, he left that out. I take it they won?"
"They soundly kicked my ass, yes. But to be fair, there were five of them," Piper grumbled. "And Wondergirl packed a punch."
"Well inexperience aside, I'd still like to feel you out on this. Do you think it's a good idea, having Irey join a superhero team?"
"For Irey, I think it's a fantastic idea. She's only confident and self-assured when she's in costume. The rest of the time she's rather meek, and a bit lonely. She still doesn't have any good friends at her school, right?"
Linda nodded. "Well…she's mentioned a girl named Angie a few times, but I think it's because their lockers are next to each other. You're right. Her best friend is Lian Harper, and the girl's a hero kid. I think she's going to have an easier time socializing as Impulse, and being around heroes her own age will be good for her. And I'm not worried about the danger. She's already faced down more than some of the older heroes."
"So we're on the same page then," Piper said.
"Jai," Linda said softly. "I assume you were up there talking to him. How does he feel?"
"Forgotten," Piper answered. "Upstaged. Inadequate. The usual, as far as I can tell."
Linda pressed her lips together, and for a long few minutes she tapped her manicured fingernails against the table as she thought something over. Piper patiently waited, and eventually she shared her idea. "What do you think of the idea of…of Jai joining the team too?"
Piper frowned. "What would he do? If he just shadows his sister, I think that will make things worse, don't you?"
"Well Hartley…I was kind of thinking he could do what you do."
"Hypnosis? Linda, I told you, I discovered that it actually stems from a meta ability, meaning it's not something I can te-"
"Oh please Piper, when was the last time you actually hypnotized someone?" Linda snapped. He fell silent, pleased that Linda noticed how careful he was to be ethical with his abilities.
"Well then what did you have in mind?"
"You're a tech nerd and a hacker. You tinker, you work on other heroes' gear for them, and then there's all the work you've done with sonics. You've shown it all to Jai, and I've caught him tinkering with your old gear for fun. I think he could really contribute to a superhero team with that. He could be like their Oracle."
"Oracle's real then?" Piper asked.
Linda rolled her eyes. "Focus. What do you think Hartley? You're the actual tech whiz. Do you think Jai could make that a superhero gimmick?"
Piper thought about it for a few minutes, and eventually he nodded. "Yes, I think he'd be quite good at it."
"Alright. Do you wanna pitch it to him?"
"What? Why can't you pitch it to him?"
Linda smiled sadly, a pained look in her pretty brown eyes. "Because I'm his mother. He'll never believe me when I tell him he's special. You on the other hand…He respects you."
Groaning, Piper got up from the table and started for the stairwell.
He really hoped the Wests appreciated everything he did for them.
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Birds and Bees