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Birds and Bees	By : defying3reason Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 2564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, or any aspect of the broader DC Universe, and I make no money from my fanfiction

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
Chapter Twenty
Damian was a little surprised to be met at the airport by his father. Normally the butler performed menial tasks such as transportation (he even had a separate uniform for it). Shrugging it off, Damian hefted his bag up and went to join Bruce, who would have been completely obscured by a mob of hangers-on with cameras and smart phones if it weren't for his impressive height (thus Pennyworth normally providing transportation and not the tall, striking, and incredibly famous bachelor).
Damian muttered something darkly under his breath. It looked like some of the hangers-on were opportunistic paparazzi. He hated those vultures, possibly more than anyone else in his family.
He shrugged his way through the crowd until he managed to get to Bruce's side. "Hello Father."
"Hello Damian. Ready to go?"
Damian winced as nearly everyone in the small crowd took a picture of the famous father and son simultaneously. He really didn't understand the American obsession with the disproportionately wealthy. If everyone knew Bruce Wayne was really Batman, then that would be different. Their obsession with him would be a mark of their devotion to his noble self-sacrifice. But Bruce Wayne was best known for his deceptive public buffoonery and scandalous affairs with socialites and heiresses (and of course, the speculative gossip about the true nature of his relationship to his former legal ward). Damian just couldn't understand what entranced people so about reading the exploits of a billionaire behaving like a scoundrel.
Much as he hated his father's cover story, it was an effective ruse, so he couldn't really complain. But he'd never be able to perpetuate it when he became head of the family.
"Bruce! Oh Brucie, is that your son? Where was he?"
"Why was he travelling alone?"
"Hey Damian, do you have a lady friend yet?"
"Are the rumors about you and that gymnast true?"
Damian shot a pleading look at his father and his completely natural looking (but completely fake) smile. "We are leaving, aren't we?"
"Of course. Excuse me folks." Bruce nodded at them, took one of Damian's bags, and helped him force a path to the exit. The hangers-on followed, but Bruce only acknowledged them with that same bland smile and some insincere courtesy. Damian didn't feel comfortable until they were in the car, with doors securely shut and locked.
"Why didn't Pennyworth pick me up? We rarely attract that kind of attention without you," Damian asked, a note of accusation creeping into his tone.
"I think I managed to keep the spectacle to a minimum. That was for your benefit."
Damian glanced out the window at the mob of photographers. "The contained spectacle is still a bit much for me. I get the feeling these cretins would delight in watching you fold laundry."
Bruce smirked. "I've never folded laundry in my life. For all we know, it might be amusing."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Damian realized Bruce hadn't actually answered his question. "Is Pennyworth alright?"
"Yes, Alfred's fine. I picked you up because I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh." That was not promising. "What about?"
"A call I got from Oliver Queen. I've been told you made Connor Hawke aware of the true nature of his childhood home."
Damian pressed his lips together and took efforts to keep his composure. He was sure that he was being challenged somehow, but he still didn't really understand how he'd misbehaved. "I was simply inquiring after Connor's meditation practice. I hadn't meant to make him uncomfortable. I still don't really understand what happened."
Bruce sighed. "Oliver was very young when his son was born, and not at all prepared for fatherhood. He thought it best to leave Connor with people he trusted rather than attempt raising the child himself."
"Yes, I'd heard. Though considering the mess Queen made of Harper's adolescence, perhaps Connor should be grateful."
"Saying it like that isn't fair to any of them," Bruce admonished. Then a thin smile formed on his lips. "But I do agree with you. Ollie wasn't any better prepared when he took Roy in, and that boy needed a lot of help. At any rate, I'm sure you'd heard that Oliver left Connor with a 'Buddhist ashram'. It was actually a cult that preyed on the wealthy and the gullible."
Damian turned in his seat to face Bruce, blinking rapidly with a troubled countenance as he processed that. "Excuse me father, I must not have heard you correctly. Mr. Queen left his son with a cult?"
"Yes. Obviously he didn't know that, and neither did anyone else. I didn't piece it together myself until Tim started spending time with Connor. He noticed the same inconsistencies in Connor's meditation practice and understanding of Buddhist philosophy that you must have picked up on."
"And he just let it go?" Damian asked with a sneer. "I thought Connor and Drake were friends."
"They are. Tim came to me, and we investigated on our own. Ultimately, we concluded that there was no harm in the situation as it stood. The cult had already taken as much of Oliver's money as they were going to, and Connor's flawed understanding of a variety of Asian philosophical and religious schools melded together was a source of comfort to him. We determined that revealing the truth would only bring him emotional distress."
"Oh." Damian frowned as the full weight of Bruce's words hit him. "I wronged him, didn't I?"
"Perhaps. Where he was particularly devoted to his false identity, perhaps it was wrong for us to allow him to live in ignorance. Either way, it doesn't seem like the act was intentional on your part," Bruce said, and Damian started to feel better. He killed that with his next utterance. "For that I'm grateful."
So Bruce was concerned because he figured Damian must have purposefully hurt Connor Hawke. The things his father thought Damian capable of were very disheartening. He already knew Bruce thought he'd trifled with Jai's affections.
Again, Damian gazed disinterestedly out the window. "Was that all?"
"Not quite. There's the matter of that gymnast I've been hearing so much about."
Damian snorted and rolled his eyes, but the comment did break some of the tension. "I'm actually not sure who the media has decided I'm secretly engaged to this time. I believe this one is Russian though."
"Ah. Well if you'd like to actually meet the girl, I'm sure I could arrange something."
"Don't you dare."
Bruce merely chuckled, and Damian concluded that his father, the butler, and Grayson were conspiring against him again. He made a mental note to prepare excuses from any and all social obligation events in the near future.

Ollie knocked on Lian's bedroom door so tentatively that he was reasonably sure the girl couldn't have heard him. However, he was answered with a meek, "Come in."
She was lying on her bed with a book open in front of her, headphones nearby but not in use.
"Hey Princess." Ollie crossed the room and seated himself on her desk chair. "How you holding up kiddo?"
"Okay, I guess. Um…Daddy hasn't come back or called or anything, has he?"
Ollie shook his head. "I don't think he's coming back until he picks you up to bring you home. When he went back to Keystone, he said he didn't want to bring you down during your visit. Doesn't look like he accomplished that goal though."
Lian chewed at her lip, then wiped at her face with the heel of her hand. "I said something really awful, and he left before I calmed down enough to apologize."
"I'm sorry Princess. Want me to drag him back out here? Me and Hal can leave as soon as you say the word."
"That's okay Grandpa. Thank you though."
Ollie leaned over and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Just let me know if you need anything. I'm gonna go downstairs and make us some lunch."
"Alright. I'll be down in a little while."
Ollie left the room, gently closing the door behind him, and Lian turned back to the book she'd grabbed from the shelf in the guest room; Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death.

"Alright, what's wrong now?" Dick leaned up, hard blue eyes fixed on Roy in a challenging expression. As Roy had been making out with the gorgeous acrobat and hadn't at all expected the removal of said gorgeous acrobat from his single-armed embrace, at first all he could do was stare at the man without comprehension.
"Huhzzah?"
"Harper, we've been sucking face for like twenty minutes, and you haven't made a single move to get my pants off. What's going on?" And, after a brief pause, "and where's your daughter?" It's not like Dick usually saw a lot of the girl when he showed up at the Harper residence at night, but she normally greeted him before disappearing into her room with her headphones (and they usually had good conversations at breakfast that were only a little awkward).
"Lian's staying with Ollie. You know if you wanted to take your pants off, you never have to wait for me."
Dick narrowed his eyes. "I don't go through the motions with you Roy, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't with me. Now will you just spit it out? What the hell happened that's got you so lost in your head that I've got to work at seducing you?"
Roy heaved a heavy sigh, scrubbed his hand through his hair, then also sat up and joined Dick in leaning against the headboard. Even though he was obviously irritated at being caught hiding some baggage from his boyfriend, he was equally amused at the unintentional hints that clued Dick in. "I'm sorry."
If anything, the apology was more discomfiting than the avoidance. "You just…you apologized for being insensitive? You're kind of scaring me. I was only away on my case for a couple days. What the hell happened while I was gone?"
Roy started to speak, but he broke eye contact with Dick. "I…I got into a fight with Lian. It got pretty nasty, actually. And before I even started recovering from that, Jade came by and-"
"Cheshire was here?" Dick yelped, looking panicked. He jumped to his feet and started tearing through the room, all anxious energy. "Why didn't you tell the League? Has anyone been by to check for toxins? Fuck, we could be breathing something in right now! We could-"
Roy refrained from literally smacking sense into his boyfriend, but it looked to be a near thing. "Will you take it down a notch? Christ Dick, Jade is Lian's mother. She drops by every now and then, and we talk about our daughter together. You don't have to look under all my shit for hidden poisons."
"She's also a murderous psychopath who tried to kill your daughter."
Roy took an impatient breath that didn't do as much by way of calming him down as he'd hoped. "She was testing me to see if I could keep Lian alive this time."
"And you believe that bullshit? Also, how is that supposed to be any more comforting?"
"Dick, let it go. This has nothing to do with you."
Dick's face was set in anger. For a moment, a terrifying one for Roy, Dick started to move towards the bedroom door. Then he suddenly whipped around and stalked back to the bed. He sat down on the end and took a long, deep breath before he spoke again, hands clenched on his knees.
"Look, I'm not trying to judge you. I just get worried about Lian too. And I haven't ever seen any redeeming qualities in Cheshire…but I suppose you know something about her that most people don't."
Roy nodded, some warmth spreading through him at Dick's words. He was so grateful that Dick didn't just tolerate the fact that he had a daughter (like Grace), and that he'd never overstepped his bounds trying to co-parent Lian before they were ready for a surrogate-parent (like Donna). Dick walked the line so gracefully, and Lian actually wanted him in their family as much as Roy did.
Dick edged a little closer to him and tentatively re-established physical contact by threading his fingers through Roy's. "You really think Cheshire won't hurt her?"
Roy nodded. "Never on purpose. Jade is really fucked up. I know I have to be careful about her, but…I know her. I know she wants the best for Lian, even if she can't always tell what that is."
"Okay. I'll try to be more sensitive."
Roy gave Dick a quick kiss, and some of the tension he'd been carrying started to lessen.
"So before I flipped out and started checking your room for concealed poisons you were trying to tell me what you and Cheshire were talking about?" Dick asked, tone light and playful. It still wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. Roy had a lot he needed to get straightened out before he was going to feel enough peace of mind to just enjoy their time together.
"Urgh…yeah, so we both realized that Li's probably going to start dating soon. And Jade pointed out that…that she's going to use my relationships as a model, since she hasn't really seen much else. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't think I've done a good job so far. I mean, when she was a kid I never showed her a really stable, healthy relationship, y'know? The ideas she must have about love…"
Roy had been thinking about Cheshire, and how he'd spectacularly flamed out with Donna, and then all of those hookups that Lian had noticed despite his best efforts. He was fully aware that his past with Dick was complicated and riddled with drama, but Lian hadn't seen that. All she'd seen was the glorious present, where they were communicating with each other, and supporting each other, and making damn sure the other knew how devoted they each were. The present was fantastic, and Roy had never been happier with anyone.
But that wasn't what he said, and it certainly wasn't what Dick heard.
Dick pulled away, and shifted back to the end of the bed. "So what, you're afraid that dating an unstable Bat is going to damage your innocent little girl?"
"What?"
"What are you saying Roy?" Dick spat. "That you think Lian likes Damian because she's seen how unhealthy we are together, and she finds that enticing? That I'm so terrible for you I'm fucking up your kid? I've been trying my best to help your daughter, but one cheap shot from the psycho who ripped your heart out and only ever puts you through hell, and suddenly I'm a bad partner who's screwing up your kid's ideas about love? Fuck you!" He stood to leave, but Roy grabbed his wrist.
"Dick, wait-"
"Fuck you! Let go!"
"No, listen to me-"
And then Dick punched him. Roy dropped his wrist so he could guard for another hit, and Dick made a break for it. Roy tackled him in the hallway, and they hit and kicked at each other, rolling closer and closer to the staircase…
They tumbled to a heap at the bottom, groaning and panting for breath. After a few minutes of pained exhalations, Roy gasped something out. "I didn't mean you, you stupid shit. God my spine hurts."
With another groan, Dick managed to sit up. His lip was bleeding and there was a nasty bruise blooming on his forehead (of course, it was easily obscured by thick dark hair falling into his eyes in an unnaturally perfect and becoming manner). "You weren't?"
"Didn't occur to me for a second. Everyone else seems to think we're awful together, but I don't know what relationship they're looking at." Roy sat up and gingerly patted at his ribs. "If Lian ever finds anyone who makes her even half as happy as you make me, I'll know I've done my job."
Dick smirked. "I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. And you said it after busting my lip."
"Yeah, well, that's us. I do love you though. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like…it really just didn't occur to me."
Dick laughed, then leaned against Roy's back and threw his arms around him. He pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "Well one of us is definitely an idiot. I love you too."
Roy's eyes drifted shut, a huge smile on his face. "I'm so glad you tell me that now."
"I've…gotten past some issues."
"I noticed." Roy placed his hand over where Dick's were clasped against his chest. He still had a lot he wanted to talk to Dick about, but it wasn't as pressing, and it wasn't distracting him anymore with its weight. "So I think I'm ready to get you out of your pants now."
Dick threw his head back with his laughter. "You're sure? Right now, on the stairwell?"
"Lian's not coming home for a few more days. And we haven't done it here yet."
Dick planted a kiss on Roy's neck, raising goose bumps. "Is the goal the entire house then?"
"Well, not Lian's bedroom. That'd just be weird."
"Ah. In that case, we need to fuck in your pantry too, and then I think we're all set."

Roy wasn't really sure what to expect when he went back to Ollie and Hal's to pick up Lian. The Watchtower was teleporting him to Coast City, and from there he and Lian would fly back to Keystone-he was picking her up in that she didn't want to fly alone. He was, however, fresh from a team-up with Grace, Thunder, Gar and Vic (an odd, but not unpleasant combination, and really he'd worked with more eclectic teams), and sporting some obvious bruising from it.
Which was actually a little convenient, because Dick had banged him up pretty good during their fight in the stairwell (and there was some carpet burn from subsequent activities), and the meta battle in downtown San Francisco was a wonderful cover story for that.
"Geeze kid, what the hell happened to you? You forget how to block or something?" Ollie asked, upon catching sight of Roy.
He rolled his eyes, but the action was hidden from view by his red tinted aviator sunglasses. "We were outnumbered and I was the only guy present without superpowers. Considering, I think we did pretty good."
"Yeah, well your little girl might not agree with you."
"I'll be fine. And Lian's seen me in worse shape. Uh…how is she?"
Ollie shut the door behind him, and scrubbed a hand through his thinning yellow hair. "I'm not really sure. She's been quiet as hell since you left. I checked up on her a whole lot, and so did Connor, but she said she just wanted some time alone to think things over."
"Oh." Roy frowned, guilt churning in the pit of his stomach. "You guys didn't go to Disney then?"
Ollie shook his head. "You guys'll have to come back, and we can all hit up the hap-happiest monument to mindless consumerism together."
Biting back a comment about Ollie's hypocrisy, Roy went upstairs to get his daughter. He found her sitting on her bed with a sketchbook. When he knocked on the open door, she looked up with a very subdued smile from how they usually greeted each other after a period of absence, but the fact that it was there at all was encouraging. "Hi Daddy."
"Hey Peanut. Ready to get going?"
"Yeah, just let me put my sketchbook away."
Roy hovered in the doorway uncertainly, knowing that he didn't want to pretend nothing had happened, but not sure how to address it. And then Lian beat him to it. As soon as she zipped up her backpack she bounded across the room and threw her arms around him.
"I really missed you Daddy. You shouldn't have left."
"I…I wasn't going to make anything better by staying," Roy said.
Lian looked up at him with a 'don't bullshit me' expression, and he had the decency to look a bit embarrassed. He'd run away, and they both knew it.
"I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. I just…look, I don't blame you for not being there. I know you were fighting somewhere else, and I know that protecting me always comes first. So it wasn't your fault. But it wasn't Mia's either. If it had been you in the house instead of her, I'd still have died. All I was trying to say was that you didn't see what happened. She tried to get to me, but she couldn't."
Roy brushed her hair back, a sad smile on his face. "I'll talk to Mia."
"Promise?"
"Yes. I've…let this go for too long. I knew all that, it just…it was a suck situation." Holding onto his anger at Mia was the last thing he'd had to keep from feeling completely responsible for the preventable death of his only child.
Lian frowned. "Daddy, only the guys who destroyed all the buildings were responsible. And I assume they're rotting in jail for it, right? And I'm back now so what does it matter anyway?"
Roy took in a shaky breath, tried to smile reassuringly, and steered her towards the stairwell. "As usual Peanut, you are completely right."

"So you and James fizzled out already?"
"If I thought I could land the hit, I'd have smacked you upside the head for that."
Wally looked at Piper blankly, and he sighed. He had to face the fact that by this point, Wally was probably just never going to learn tact when it came to discussing personal issues. He skipped over lecturing Wally on what he'd done wrong and just told him what he wanted to know. "James broke up with me a few weeks ago. Well…breaking up isn't the right word, since we didn't actually start dating again."
"Oh. Well that sucks. Sorry to hear it."
Piper smirked. "No you're not. You and Linda both told me it was a horrible idea to start dating him again."
"Well yeah. I mean, he dumps you for no reason kind of a lot."
Piper scowled. "Twice!"
"Once would be too much if he really cared about you. I think you dodged a bullet dude."
That was certainly a fair point.
The two old friends were sitting on Wally's porch, unwinding after saving the downtown Central City branch of a particularly notorious bank for the third time that month. The first two had been run of the mill robberies, but this time they'd been targeted by extremists who'd tried to blow it up as an attack on the one percent.
Piper had been aware of everyone's eyes flicking to him a bit more often than usual during the fight's aftermath, but honestly, even though he'd practically trademarked railing against the one percent during his early costumed days, he hadn't hesitated for a second to bring in the criminals. When it came to attacking innocent bystanders, Piper felt no uncertainty, even if he agreed with the bad guys on other ideological points.
Piper was actually grateful that Wally was prying about his love life instead of checking how much he sympathized with the terrorists. Still though, might as well have some fun with the guy. "So how's your friend doing? Is Dick still happy with his boyfriend?"
Wally choked on a sip of his soda. "Dude!" he croaked. "You're not seriously thinking of going after him, are you?"
Piper laughed. "Come on Wally, I barely know him." Wally's startled reaction was intriguing though. "Why? He's not actually single, is he?"
"Nope. Still miserably smitten with an asshole."
That got Piper's attention. "You don't…like Dick's boyfriend?"
"I don't wanna get into this with you too. Dick's already told me off for being an ass to the guy. But I swear, he was an ass first." For whatever reason, Wally unconsciously rubbed at his jaw. "Uh, so new subject. Jai's getting out of the hospital this week. He wants to sleep over your place Saturday."
"Is that okay? You and Linda wouldn't mind?" Piper asked, hopeful but sure that Jai's family would want to see him.
"He's getting out Wednesday. I'm sure me and Linda can reassure ourselves that we haven't really lost him by then. Besides, I think you guys' friendship is really good for him."
Piper smiled. "Thanks Wally. I'll do my best to help."
"I know dude." Then his face fell as a car pulled up to the curb. "Speak of the fucking devil."
Piper turned towards the car, a bit surprised and confusing Wally's meaning, half-expecting Jai to be hopping out onto the curb. But it was an attractive man about Wally's age, with shaggy red hair and rather douchey aviator sunglasses. Piper's eyes quickly raked over the man's muscular body, lingering on the empty shirt sleeve pinned up on one side, and again at the rear view of his slightly too tight (but that was completely okay) jeans. "Who's that?"
"Roy," Wally spat out under his breath. When the guy approached him he smiled in that fake way Piper usually saw him adopt around his in-laws, that 'I'm completely miserable but for some reason I think this obviously uncomfortable smile will keep you from noticing' one. "Hey dude. What brings you by?"
"Lian just got home from Ollie's. She said she needs to get a start on her summer reading, but she left some books in Irey's room." Roy paused, and for a minute Piper was sure the man was looking at him, but it was impossible to tell for certain with the aviators hiding his eyes. "Is it cool if I run upstairs and get them?"
Wally shook his head. "Irey's out with Bart, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want a stranger rummaging around in her room."
"I'm not a-"
"Well, not her family, anyway," Wally amended.
"Look, Lian's flipping out. I don't wanna go buy the books again." Roy was starting to look agitated.
As was Wally. "It's barely July. Doesn't she have two months to do this?"
"She likes to read the books once through for enjoyment, then again to write the paper. And since my kid is in the honors program, she has more books to read than your kids."
Wally's face colored as his expression soured. Piper had been about to volunteer to get the books himself, since he knew he was perfectly welcome in Irey's room, but he decided the exchange was too interesting to interrupt.
However, there was another audience member for the bitter exchange, and she didn't seem as amused by it as Piper. Linda slammed the front door open, a scowl on her pretty face. It looked like she'd been tidying up the front hallway when she'd heard the passive aggressive bickering, based on her pink rubber gloves and the kerchief holding her hair out of her eyes. "I'll just get the damn books."
"Thanks Linda. She's reading 1984, Siddhartha-"
"Trust me Roy, I'll be able to spot any books that don't belong in my daughter's room." With that, Linda trudged up the stairs.
Roy leaned against the porch railing, looking nearly as uncomfortable as Wally (but much sexier in his sulking). Piper wasn't sure what to say, so he remained silent. After a few minutes though, he started to feel a different sort of tension from what Wally was experiencing.
Because after a minute or so of scowling in Wally's direction, Roy had turned his gaze more towards Piper, and it was clear that he very much had been checking Piper out, as he was continuing to do so. Hoping that his face didn't look as warm as it felt, Piper tried to think of something suave to say, but all he could think of was how many times he'd been brushed off, even before the fiasco with James. Confidence shot to hell, he silently watched the other man watching him.
He jumped, startled, when Linda walked onto the porch with the books. "Here you go Roy. And tell Lian I really appreciate her helping Irey with her own summer reading. Those outlines she made for her really helped her write the papers."
"She already finished?" Wally asked.
Linda pointedly nodded, then smiled sweetly at Roy. He smirked in obvious satisfaction. "Sure thing. See you guys around." With one last leer Piper's way, he turned and left.
"Huh." Linda narrowed her eyes, turning a curious expression towards Piper. "Is it just me, or was he checking you out?"
That got an actual spit take from Wally. With a laugh, Linda reached into the front hall and brought out a roll of paper towels. She handed them to her husband, still chuckling under her breath.
"I kind of thought he was. Did you think he was straight or something?" Piper asked. "Who is he, anyway?"
"Dick's boyfriend," Wally said with a cough.
"Yeah," Linda said with a frown. "They didn't break up or something, did they?"
"Nope," Wally said. "They are very much still together, which means that Piper, since Roy's clearly attracted to you, you should avoid both of them so you don't accidentally become a home wrecker-"
Piper jumped in over Wally's nervous babbling. "Dick asked me to do a threesome with them."
"Ah." Linda started laughing again, while Wally swore.
"I'd thought he was kidding."
"Oh. Yeah, no hon. Dick doesn't joke about that." Linda squeezed his shoulder, all mirth. "Looks like Roy's thinking about it."
"Looks like." With feigned indignation, Piper turned towards Wally. "So that's two gorgeous bisexual acquaintances you had that you never introduced me to?"
"I guess."
"You're a terrible friend Wally."
"If you knew him better you'd be glad you never dated him!" Wally insisted.
"Who said Piper's thinking about dating either one of them?" Linda asked. "Now sexing-"
"I'm going inside!" Wally slammed the door on Piper and Linda's giggles.
Linda put a hand over her mouth, calming her mirth. "So are you thinking of going for it Hartley?"
"If they're serious…?" He shrugged. "At my age, I'm probably never going to get an opportunity like this again."
Meanwhile Roy pulled his car back onto the street smiling in satisfaction.
He'd been parked far enough away that he couldn't actually hear the conversation, but he could read lips. He decided that once he got home and dropped Lian's books off, he'd have to give his soon to be very pleased boyfriend a call.

Knowing that he was going to get extended alone-time with Jai was the only thing that kept Piper from stalking the West house on Wednesday. He figured the family would want their privacy after retrieving their son from the hospital, and respectfully gave them space.
He did drive by the house a few times though, and concluded that few others had had the same thought. Throughout the day he saw Iris and Barry's cars, Bart speed-pacing on the front porch (the hyper young man still hadn't bought his own vehicle, citing it as a pointless expense), Mrs. Garrick leaving the house with a tinfoil covered casserole dish, and even Jesse Quick's company car.
He decided to stop finding excuses to drive down their street when he almost ran into Chester Runk. Piper and Chunk hadn't really gotten along to begin with, and that was cemented when Wally seemed to choose Piper as his replacement best friend/crime fighting collaborator. Chunk thought it was Piper's fault, that Piper had somehow poisoned Wally's mind against him. Piper thought it much more likely that Chunk stealing Wally's girlfriend had something to do with Wally's sudden desire to avoid the guy though.
He kept his distance, and Saturday evening he finally approached the house, hopeful but also a bit anxious to see how Jai was doing.
Irey, at least, was in good spirits. She flung the door open, a wide smile on her pretty face. Losing her twin for those long weeks had hit her hard, and it had taken a physical toll on the girl. Having him back seemed to do just the opposite; her complexion had returned to radiance, her green eyes were sparkling, and her hair was neatly brushed and her clothes chosen with more care.
"Hi Uncle Piper!" She gave him a huge hug and then stepped aside to let him enter. "C'mon in! Jai's still upstairs getting ready, but Mom and Dad are in the kitchen." Then she zipped over to the stairwell. "JAI! Move it! Uncle Piper's here!"
"Thanks sweetheart." Piper followed her into the kitchen, where Wally and Linda were sipping coffee by the remnants of a family dinner. "Hey guys."
"Hi Hartley," Linda greeted. She still looked tired, but generally much better than she'd been. Piper guessed trying to sleep at night with a recovering suicidal teen was less than restful-every creak of the old house settling must sound like footsteps creeping towards an implement of self-destruction.
As usual, Wally seemed oblivious to any continued risk, content in the fact that his family was back under one roof.
Piper did a double take when Jai entered the room. He looked fantastic. He'd lost the sickly pallor he'd had at the hospital, and he'd settled into his diminished weight; instead of looking sickly, the teen now looked fetchingly slender. Perhaps having well-fitting clothes and carefully styled hair made the difference.
"Hey Piper," he said with uncharacteristic meekness. He crossed the room and gave Piper a hug that was almost shy.
Linda quirked an eyebrow. "I have to beg, plead and guilt trip for one of those. Nice to see you're willing to hug someone."
Jai's face reddened, but he didn't say whatever he was thinking in response to his mother's well-intentioned teasing. "Can we go now?"
"Of course." Piper said a polite goodbye to his friends, then steered Jai towards his car. "It looks like you've already eaten. Is there anything special you wanted to do tonight?"
"Not really," Jai answered. "I just want to go somewhere and talk."
"Sounds like a plan."
Piper thought it was a good idea to avoid water, though his first instinct was of course to drive to the river (he'd done a lot of riverside chats over the years with his closest friends). They got some coffees from a favorite local café and then drove to a park where, unbeknownst to Jai, Piper had set up a villain base when he'd been in his early twenties. He pointed out the ruins of the base to Jai, and told him a few self-deprecating anecdotes.
"Why'd you pick the park?" Jai asked curiously.
"Lots of space, out of the way, and your great uncle didn't expect it any more than anyone else did."
"Ah."
"So what did you want to talk about?" Piper asked. "Is it about Damian?"
Jai shook his head. "I spent awhile talking about him with the doctors, and I think I'm over it. It seems kinda stupid to keep obsessing over someone who clearly…doesn't want me."
Piper placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's his loss, and I'm sure he'll feel it keenly someday."
"It wasn't a great relationship, really," Jai admitted. "He never felt comfortable around me, and eventually I just stopped trying to get him to that point. Plus he told me from the outset that he was going to dump me for a girl."
"Wh-what? Jai, that's terrible."
"I know. I'd kinda hoped that…that if we were together long enough he'd change his mind, but nope. As soon as his future girlfriend is sixteen he's gonna start going out with her. Because he wants to get married and make babies."
Piper pressed his lips together, trying to think before he spoke, but really there were few things Jai could have said to make him angrier. He finally settled for a choked, "LGBTs can have families."
"I know. But Damian's very traditional."
"And yet not traditional enough to abstain from homosexual behavior entirely. That was very selfish of him Jai. I think you're right not to grieve too strongly for the end of that relationship. It doesn't sound very healthy."
Jai nodded, eyes downcast. "I wish it could have ended differently though. I really liked him."
"Well, there will be other boys. I'm sure you'll find someone to suit you better. You've got a lot of advantages you know."
Jai rolled his eyes. "Of course you think so. You're my fake uncle. You have to say that stuff."
"No, I mean it," Piper insisted. "If I'd met someone like you when I was your age, I'd have been incredibly flattered to get their notice, let alone date them. I'm sure you'll do fine Jai. Just try to avoid closet cases from now on."
Jai scowled. "That's not really an option at my school."
They kept talking about lighter things from there, until eventually the conversation cycled back to Jai's involuntary commitment.
"Can I ask you something Hartley?"
"Of course," Piper answered, a bit surprised to hear Jai addressing him by his name. People did, from time to time, but it was rare. The kids especially preferred to refer to him by his costumed name.
"Were you…did you ever have to stay in one of those places too?"
He should have expected that. Piper took a deep breath, and nodded. "I was at Breedmore much longer than you. You should consider yourself lucky to have sorted yourself out so quickly. It…I was much weaker then."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I just, well…it's something else we have in common."
"We do have a lot in common, don't we," Piper said, and Jai smiled at the thought. Piper faked a smile in return, but the thought wasn't nearly as pleasing to him.

Piper looked down at his cell and reread the text that included Roy Harper's address for the fifth time. He shifted his weight on his feet back and forth a few times, trying to work out his jitters.
He hadn't actually tried a threesome since he was a teenager, and that one hadn't ended well. He'd unintentionally split up what had been a very happy couple (and while Wally still insisted Dick and Roy weren't, Linda strongly disagreed with her husband and explained that Wally and Roy just rubbed each other the wrong way). Piper didn't think it was incredibly likely that either of the striking younger men would get hung up on him, but he still wanted to be cautious. He decided to feel the situation out, and if it seemed like either Roy or Dick were behaving jealously or possessively then he'd leave.
God but those two were hot. If he didn't give it a shot, he'd only regret it later. Piper's fortieth birthday was looming, and thanks to his particularly stressful existence he looked like he'd passed it some time ago. Opportunities for no-strings fun with breathing erotic fantasies could only be so plentiful for the middle aged (especially when they weren't aging gracefully).
He finally stowed his phone and walked up to Roy's front door, hoping he didn't look as nervous as he felt. Dick answered, looking like sex on legs; he was wearing black slacks with an unbuttoned deep blue work shirt that nicely accentuated his eyes. His wavy black hair was already mussed and his clothes a bit rumpled. If Piper ha to guess, he'd say the boys had started without him.
And he was sure of it when Roy draped himself over Dick's back, hand stroking up and down his boyfriend's hip. Roy was only wearing boxers, and (other than the missing arm) he had the body of sex god. Fuck... 'good choice Hartley'.
"Hey," Dick greeted. "C'mon in."
"Alright."
Piper followed them into the living room, trying not to notice framed pictures of Irey's best friend hanging on the walls. He'd spent some time with Lian without having any idea whose daughter she was while taking the girls to visit Jai at the hospital. This might make future outings with Wally's kids a little uncomfortable.
It was hard to hold onto that thought when he watched Roy flop onto the sofa and pull Dick down onto his lap. Okay, so the behavior was a smidge possessive, which meant Piper was supposed to leave…but it was also fun to watch. And the facial expressions were still inviting. For whatever reason, the guys were still leering at him. Piper wondered how he could possibly interest them, but it wasn't in his favor to question that too much.
It looked like the guys had probably made a day of hanging out while they waited for Piper to get his nerve up and come over. There was a pizza box on the coffee table, and a movie was paused on the television. Articles of Roy's clothing were scattered over the room, along with a jacket and shoes that were probably Dick's. Piper sat down in an armchair across from the unearthly gorgeous couple and awkwardly tapped his hands on his knees. "So, um…hi."
For whatever reason, that had Dick smirking again. "Hey Hartley. How're you doing?"
"Al-alright. Um…you're sure I'm the person you want to do this with?"
Roy snorted. "That's freaking adorable. So you know, Dick's been all about this. Boy's got a kink for redheads, so two of us at once is like his ideal night."
"Yeah, because I've heard you complain so much about my redhead kink." Dick rolled his eyes.
Piper smiled, already feeling relaxed with the genial younger couple. Something interesting occurred to him. "You know, when Wally found out I was gay he got really paranoid about me checking him out. I had to spend a lot of time convincing him I thought of him like a little brother. Does he know about your preference for redheads?"
"Yep," Dick answered. "We've been besties since…I think eighth grade? I've seen him through enough awkward phases and bad hair cuts for him to know that I don't think of him that way, ever."
Roy shook his head. "Guy's more full of himself than I realized."
Piper frowned. "It's not like he's the only straight guy who behaves that way. When I was still a supervillain, I had a hard time getting all the Rogues to believe I wasn't into any of them." He watched as Dick and Roy mentally assessed what they knew of Wally's Rogues.
"The Weather Wizard wasn't bad," Roy finally decided.
"He got uglier by three points whenever he opened his mouth. And I only ranked him as a seven to begin with," Piper explained.
"That's harsh. I'd give him eight," Roy said thoughtfully.
Dick shrugged. "We didn't know him though, and I'm with Piper; guys lose points for stupidity or being jack asses. Not knowing him, I'd have given him a seven too. I mean, we had Garth as an eight and the Weather Wizard was not as pretty as Garth."
"Yeah, but Garth only got the eight for the eyes-"
"He only lost nine because of the hair though."
Piper listened for a few minutes as the two playfully argued over their rankings for past teammates. It made him wonder who Kory was, since their ranking for perfection was a Kory-ten. Vic and Charlie sounded interesting too.
"Did you guys ever rank Wally?" Piper couldn't help but ask. He really did think of his friend more like family at this point, but that also meant he was emotionally attached and proud of his boy. He thought Wally was handsome, and wouldn't mind hearing strangers agree with him.
Dick groaned. "We…have some disagreement over this one. I've never once fantasized about Wally-"
"Me either," Piper assured him.
"But he's cute. I'd say he's a nine."
Piper nodded. "I'd agree with that."
"And I think he's a two for being an egocentric self-righteous prick."
Piper was startled by that, and so was Dick. "Uh…you said he was a six the last time we talked about…you know what? Let's change the subject."
"Probably a good idea," Piper said carefully.
Roy went back to groping his boyfriend, something he'd stopped doing during their conversation. "We're talking too damn much anyway. C'mon Piper, bedroom's this way."
'Last chance to back out,' Piper thought to himself, and then followed them upstairs to the master bedroom without any inkling of hesitation.

Roy and Dick were no strangers to threesomes. They'd had their first one (with each other anyway; Roy's first had happened back when he'd been homeless and living with fellow teen junkies, and he wasn't entirely sure what he'd done) back when Dick had been dating Kory for the first time around.
Despite the fact that Roy had been making a cameo of sorts with an established couple while having serious feelings for one of them, it had been a really comfortable (and erotic) experience that they'd repeated dozens of times over the years, with varying levels of emotional commitment. And when they'd invited a third person in while Roy and Dick were the committed couple, things had never gotten awkward. They either had amazing sex or not so good sex, depending on the third party, but the relationship always weathered the newcomer.
Reflecting on that only made Roy more irritated with himself while he watched his boyfriend fuck an attractive acquaintance into the mattress. He usually liked watching Dick have sex with people. Dick was a beautiful man, and the different vantage point gave him the opportunity to appreciate that beauty from a variety of angles. Much as he enjoyed participating (and he did) it was quite the experience to sit back and just look.
That was bothering him too though. Normally Roy was more motivated about participation. He probably never would have hit on Piper if Dick hadn't pointed his interest in that direction, but the guy was reasonably pretty, and based on Dick's responses, really good in bed. But for some reason Roy only wanted to touch his boyfriend. He'd been careful to keep up the appearance of having a good time, but if he didn't watch it he was going to make this their first awkward threesome.
The thing to do would be to tap in. Dick got into watching him fuck other people too, for much the same reason, and he'd probably come on the spot watching Roy fuck another ginger (weird ass kink, but it had worked out well for him so Roy wasn't complaining). But he didn't want to stop them either. They were clearly having enough fun without him…
Son of a bitch. He was jealous. Roy was feeling threatened by a scrawny older man with an unfortunate nose (who had suddenly become a lot less pretty).
Well that wasn't good.
Piper ended Roy's musing by coming with a strangled sounding little shout, and it was really hot to watch. Dick looked like he might follow Piper into orgasm, groaning loudly as he rode out the clenching body under him, but he bit his lip and fought back his pleasure. He pulled out of Piper and turned towards Roy. "Done watching?"
"I think so."
Piper sat up on his elbows and looked at them through half-lidded eyes, soft orange hair falling over his face. Roy would have liked to put on more of a show for his audience, but Dick was already so close to the edge, and he wasn't going to last too long himself.
Dick climbed onto Roy's lap, kissed him messily, and then asked (well, demanded) to be fucked. Roy would rather have bottomed; he didn't want to lose balance in front of a near-stranger, which was always a risk thanks to the fucking missing arm, but he wasn't going to have a discussion over it either. This had been Dick's idea, and it was Dick's kink they were indulging. Roy wasn't going to detract from his lover's good time by whining about his arm again.
If Dick wanted to be fucked, he'd just have to oblige him.
He lowered Dick onto the mattress, settled between his legs, and pushed into him. Dick rocked him closer with those impossibly long, flexible legs of his, and Roy's arm was already shaking under the strain of keeping him upright and balanced when his whole body wanted to fly apart from the bliss of having Dick, so hot and fucking perfect, writhing under him. The guy really was just inches from there too; Roy barely got in a few thrusts before Dick shuddered and came, and as usual, watching and feeling Dick's bliss tipped Roy over the edge.
"Wow," Piper breathed. Roy had almost forgotten about him. At the moment his spent cock was buried in his boyfriend, who was wrapped around him in a way that really shouldn't have been possible (ah seemingly inhuman levels of flexibility). Roy indulged in another kiss, then disentangled himself from Dick's insistent cuddling.
Dick was clearly in his happy place. The smile on his face was a rare euphoric looking one that took years off of him. Roy felt some of his misgivings evaporate in response to Dick's blatant happiness.
He pushed himself into an upright position and clambered out of bed. "I'm gonna get a damp cloth or something. Be right back guys."
"Kay," Dick murmured dazedly. He leaned backwards and rested his head on Piper's thigh, and Piper combed his fingers through Dick's damp bangs. They were in pretty much the same position when Roy got back with the cloth, but Piper had stopped petting Dick and he looked a little self-conscious.
Roy wiped Dick down (he was far too dazed to do it himself) and passed a cloth off to Piper. "Thanks."
He wrapped his arm around Dick and pulled the warm pile of pliable man against him for a cuddle so Piper could clean himself off. As he flexed his arm, Roy noticed a patch of scarred flesh on Piper's shoulder that he'd wondered about (and promptly forgotten) when Piper had first removed his shirt. He had an awful lot of scars considering he was just a reserve.
"That looks pretty nasty. How'd you get that one?" Roy asked, nodding his head at Piper's shoulder since his arm was occupied. Piper had tensed at the word 'nasty', but understanding dawned when he looked where Roy had indicated.
"Oh, my shoulder. That was years ago, back when I still wasn't talking to Wally. I tried taking on the Rogues by myself and I got impaled through the shoulder and implicated in another murder. I decided not to do any more solo work after that."
Dick traced a fainter scar by Piper's hip. "You've got more than I expected. And here I was thinking you might get freaked out by me and Roy's bullet holes and whatnot."
That had been too close to 'Roy's missing arm' for Roy's comfort, but it was a valid point and he tried to let it go. It's not like people never had reactions to the evidence of his and Dick's past injuries, though clearly that wasn't an issue for Piper. He had plenty of physical mementos of the lifestyle himself.
"No complaints here," Piper assured them. "You two are absolutely stunning, bullet holes and all. That was really fun."
"Yeah, it was," Dick agreed. Roy tried to smile for his affirmation, because it had been a fun threeway, but he felt like it should have been better. They should have been doing more than taking turns with Dick.
Why the fuck was he jealous of Piper? He didn't really think Dick was going to leave him for the guy, did he? He and Dick had an amazing relationship with a history, and while Piper was a pretty cool guy, he had nothing on all that.
But he was a lot less maimed, and he had two arms. And if Roy was completely honest with himself, that was his issue.
"Well I'm probably intruding at this point. I'll just get my clothes, and, um…"
Oh that was just cute. "Dude, you don't have to take off just because we all came," Roy said with a smirk.
"If you want to, we're not trying to pressure you of course, but if you hang out, well…we could do a second act," Dick added. Which would also give Roy the chance to redeem himself by not acting like a jealous, insecure tool, and maybe he could just enjoy fooling around with Piper himself.
"I'm not sure my tired old body could handle a second act," Piper said with a self-deprecating smile.
"C'mon dude, you're not that old," Roy insisted. "You can totally handle round two."
"Well let me get my breath back and I'll think about it."
"Good. That's practically a yes, and in the meantime cuddles." Dick curled up between the two redheads and let out a contented sigh. Roy threw a blanket over them and resolved to enjoy himself as much as his boyfriend.
It really was nice…cozy.
Then Piper's cell rang and he shot out of bed. Dick and Roy both watched him grab his pants and fish his phone out from his pocket in a panic, confused by the sudden change in temperament. And Roy was a little startled by his whiny-teenager music ringtone. He'd thought a music nut like Piper would have better taste.
"Hartley, is everything…?" Dick broke off when Piper managed to get his phone out and answer it.
"Jai? What is it?"
Roy watched in some surprise as Dick's expression hardened at the mention of his normally much-loved godson. "Babe, you al-"
"Sh-shus." Dick waved his hand, eyes fixed on Piper.
"Jai, calm d-…no, I don't think he's…Jai, please hon, stop and think about what you're say-…I know, but…but Jai…if you want me to then of course I'll…alright, alright fine, I'll be there in a minute…alright hon, you too…bye."
"What's going on?" Dick asked.
Piper started hurriedly pulling his clothes on. "I suppose it's alright to tell you since you'll hear about it eventually, but until it's brought up will you please keep the secret too?"
"Sure," Dick said immediately, and Roy quickly added his agreement.
"Wally and Linda are sending Jai back to the hospital. Or, they're trying to. He shimmied down a tree and ran off, and he's waiting for me on my front stoop. I have to go convince him to talk to his parents. He doesn't think he needs more help, but…"
"Wait, you want Jai to get thrown back into that god awful place?" Roy asked.
"He's suicidal Roy. Still. He shouldn't have come back home yet."
"Well then was the nuthouse really helping him? I mean think about it. What happened when they asked him to spill in group? He can't say jack about his real issues, and all they can do is drug him," Roy said with a scowl, reflecting on his own teen years.
"Yeah, but he won't be able to kill himself while he's there. I'm sorry to leave so suddenly. Uh…bye. I'll let myself out."
"Bye," Dick said dully. Piper took off, and Roy tossed Dick's pants at him, then pulled on his own.
"Alright, what's up?" Roy demanded. "You just found out your godson is having suicidal urges and you look a little spaced out. I expected you to run off to Wally's or something. What happened?"
Dick chewed his lip, eyes downcast. "I can't tell you."
"Oh I promise you that's not the case. I'd thought you were sitting on something big. What is it?"
"Roy, I've been sworn to secrecy and it's not my secret to share."
"Don't care. You're carrying weight, now let me help. Dick? Seriously, you're freaking me out. You can tell me what made you shut down on Jai. I can keep it secret too, okay?"
Dick flopped against Roy and hid his face in his chest. "Jai sexually abused Damian."
Roy nodded, calmly waiting for Dick to continue, then the full meaning sunk in. "What?" That was the last thing he'd expected to hear. If not dead last, certainly near the bottom. "How is that even possible? Can't Damian fight him off?"
"It's not like that. Look, when they started going out…Damian asked me for help and I made him promise not to hurt Jai. Because of that, he went to great pains to…to do what Jai wanted. And Jai convinced him things were normal that aren't normal and…and Damian got really uncomfortable, but we weren't talking at the time, and…"
"It's not your fault," Roy said quickly, knowing Dick too well and knowing how he'd internalize that information.
"He apologized to me when he dumped Jai."
"Dick, it's not your…urgh." Roy knew Dick too well at this point to believe he had much chance of talking him out of his guilt (and, despite recent events, Dick's lessened but still present worry for Jai). He settled for holding Dick close and letting him sob out his fear while he whispered the occasional comforting platitude in his ear and kissed the top of his head.

Piper ran most of the way home. Since Roy lived so close to him, he hadn't bothered driving, and he was regretting that choice. If Jai wasn't sitting there waiting for him he wasn't sure what he would do.
But Jai was there, sitting on the stoop with his forehead resting on his knees, pale and trembling.
"Jai…hey, I'm here. C'mere." Piper jogged over and pulled him close for a hug. The boy was dead weight in his arms.
"Please don't make me go back Piper."
"Let's go inside and talk, okay?" Piper fished his keys out of his pocket and steered them inside, all the while keeping a comforting arm braced around Jai's back.
"Where were you?" Jai asked. "You're usually here when I need you."
"I'm sorry I missed you, but I came when you called."
"Piper…were you having sex? Your shirt's inside out and you smell like weird cologne." Jai pulled away and swept his eyes over his companion. "You were, weren't you?"
Piper frowned and took a steadying breath. "Jai, I'm thirty nine years old. I don't have to explain myself to you. Yes, I was having sex, and it was really awesome, and I left to help you."
"Who were you having sex with?" Jai demanded.
"None of your business," Piper snapped.
Jai bit into his trembling lower lip and stared at Piper, intense green-gold eyes shining with something Piper couldn't read. His small hands were balled into fists. Why was Piper having a sex life such a betrayal for him?
"Hon, we need to talk about you. Do you want me to get you some tea or something?"
"You keep calling me hon when I'm freaking out. It's like how my mom calls me sweetheart, isn't it? It's because you think I'm a little kid."
"Um…well kind of. You're much older than I like to even think about, since I wasn't exactly young when you were born, but…Jai, where are you going with this? You're acting a bit…odd."
"Look, if you're going to be my fake uncle and be there for me, then you should actually be there for me, okay? So don't go out whoring around and then come back and call me hon and think everything's alright."
Piper recoiled in shock at the harsh words. He knew Jai spoke that way sometimes (Linda had called him crying the first time Jai had called her a terrible mother and accused her of ruining his life), but Jai had never tried to hurt him before.
Luckily, Piper was so far from being a whore that the words didn't push any buttons (going to bed with two gorgeous men was a complete aberration; getting dumped by James was much closer to his norm). It was just the intent that hurt him.
"I'm…going to put on some water for tea." He turned around and walked into the kitchen. After a few minutes, Jai walked in and slouched down in a chair. Piper set a mug in front of him. His hands were shaking from the effort of suppressing an emotional tirade that would not help the situation, so he splashed some hot tea on his hand.
"Piper, I'm sorry."
"Good. You should be. I've never done anything to warrant that treatment, least of all from you."
Jai nodded, face turned towards his untouched mug. "I'm just scared. Mom and Dad hate me, and they want me gone, and I thought…when you weren't here, I thought you were too busy for me too. I don't wanna go back to that place. And I know you know why."
Piper pulled his chair closer to Jai's and rubbed a soothing circle on his back with his unburned hand. "I'm so sorry Jai. But there's only one way to avoid those places forever. You've got to keep working until you're strong enough not to need their help."
"Couldn't I just stay here with you? I'd be happy then…and I wouldn't want to hurt myself anymore."
Touched but equally heart broken, Piper kept up the soothing circles and tried to think of a way to tell Jai why that wasn't an option without dismissing his feelings.
Well, keeping down the smug about his relationship with the twins the next time he talked to Barry wouldn't be at all difficult. This was not an enviable situation, not in the least.

As soon as Dick slipped into an exhausted sleep Roy threw a blanket over him and crept out of bed. It was still pretty early, so he wasn't down for the night. Even if he was, the guy was a Bat so Roy had three hours, four tops, before Dick was up and about again.
Roy carefully checked his appearance before leaving the house on the off chance he ran into a member of the West/Allen family. He'd run down the street to the Wests when Dick was over with his shirt misbuttoned once, and Wally and his damn uncle had treated him like a perv ever since (Linda's teasing was pretty annoying, but at least it was free of judgment). And they were already suspicious about just why Lian was staying with them that night anyway.
He made it to the grocery store without incident and grabbed a bunch of comfort foods he knew Dick liked, then stopped in at the Wests to check on Lian. Assured that she wasn't a burden while they were going through drama, but rather a boon to poor Irey (who was in tears over her brother again) Roy offered whatever help he could be, was assured by Barry yet again that he was completely useless, and he went home.
Dick was waiting for him in the living room. He was wearing Roy's bathrobe over his underpants and he still looked pretty groggy. The way his hair was sticking up looked pretty adorable though.
"Where'd you go?" Dick asked, sounding needy.
Roy held up the grocery bag. "Checked on Lian and got us some snacks. I figured you could use some comfort food."
Dick rolled his eyes. "I know I had a minor breakdown just now, but I promise, I'm fine." And needy, but he didn't seem prepared to admit that.
"Uh huh. Well you put a lot of energy into taking care of an emotionally damaged group of stubborn a-holes, so you can let me pamper you from time to time. Now sit down while I make us nachos."
To his surprise, Dick obediently sat on the sofa. "I do like your nachos."
He knew Dick wouldn't really relax, and wasn't surprised to walk into the living room twenty minutes later with the food to find it spotless, but it was still nice to see Dick waiting for him sprawled on the couch, a warm, welcoming smile on his face.
"You look like you're already doing better."
"I am," Dick said. He beckoned towards Roy, and he set the nachos down and joined Dick on the couch. "Other than that little mess about the kids, today was a pretty fantastic day."
"Mm hm," Roy agreed. "We should see if Piper wants to do that again sometime."
"Really?" Dick asked, sounding delighted. Roy eyed him with some confusion. "I just…didn't think you liked him as much as I did. I mean, we could always call Kory-"
"We always call Kory, and besides that, you asked me if we could stop because she got unhealthily fixated on you."
Dick shrugged. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"Well I don't want you to be uncomfortable either. Besides, Piper was fine. I was just…being a girl."
"Oh?"
Roy scowled, looking down. "The guy's got two arms."
"Oh. Oh, this is the first time we've done a threesome…since…wow, I didn't even think of that."
Roy hadn't really thought about it either. He hadn't expected it to matter, but seeing Dick so intimate with someone who was whole had bothered him, and the unsettling emotions were worse for being unexpected. "I'll get over it. I…I need to get over this shit. It's not like the arm's ever gonna grow back."
"Hey, Roy, look at me," Dick said, tilting Roy's face towards him. "We've been over this. The only thing that bothers me about your missing arm is that it bothers you. I think you're gorgeous. You'd have to lose a lot more limbs to change that."
Roy snorted. "Thanks. You really mean that, don't you?"
Dick leaned forward for a kiss. "Of course I do. I love you."
"I'd better never lose you then," Roy said. "Seriously, let me know if I'm doing anything to fuck this up."
Dick laughed. "Oh believe me, you'll know."
"Speaking of which…" Roy ran his hand up and down Dick's bare thigh as he spoke. "I'd kinda wanted to talk to you about this anyway…"
"You sound serious," Dick noted.
"Yep…so I know we haven't been back together very long, but…we've done this before and we know what we're getting into. Would you…wanna talk about moving in together?"
Dick looked startled. His eyes widened and his lips parted as he tried to speak, but at first nothing came out.
It wasn't very encouraging. Roy removed his caressing hand, and rubbed at the back of his own neck instead. "I was just thinking, y'know, we've been doing the distance thing okay, but like...if we lived in the same city then maybe I could get out a little more, since there'd be less commuting time for both of us, and we could maybe team up, and Lian's been pleading with me to let you move in, and you'd kinda gone in that direction anyway by moving to New York when you thought I was still gonna live there-"
"But I figured we'd still be living in separate apartments. You mean move in together move in together?"
Roy frowned. "Would that be a bad thing?"
Some of that deer in headlights look finally left. "No, of course not. I would love to live with you. I'm here all the time anyway, it's just…I didn't think you were talking about moving back to New York."
"Oh. Yeah, I wasn't. I kinda figured you'd move in here. We've got lots of space, and you don't have a job right now."
"Well no, but I do have commitments in New York. It's a short ride from Gotham, for one thing-"
Roy rolled his eyes. "Here we go. I thought you were trying to make Damian less dependent on you."
Dick sighed. "I was. But he's not ready-"
"Are you really helping him at this point?" Roy asked.
Dick scowled. "Yes I am. If he were a normal teenager who'd lived a normal life then of course not, he'd need to stand on his own feet. But that whole thing with Jai…I can't leave him alone. He's the worst possible mix between guarded and naïve, and he needs me."
"Well can't he need Batman instead? Why can't Bruce just step it up?"
"Because he's just as damaged as Damian, and in the exact same ways."
Roy shook his head, but he wasn't angry, just fundamentally disappointed. "So what's the big plan then?"
"Huh?"
"What are we doing Dick?" Roy asked. "I can't move to your state-"
"But you're miserable here!"
"Lian's not, and she comes first. Let's face it, I'm stuck in Kansas at least until she graduates high school."
Dick shook his head. "You've only been here a few months. If you moved now-"
"I'm not uprooting my daughter from a stable situation where she's flourishing. It's non-negotiable Dick. I'm here. And if that's the case…where does that leave us?"
"Long distance for five more years?" Dick got up and started pacing. "I don't want that."
"Neither do I."
"So…you're breaking up with me if I won't move to Kansas?" Dick clarified.
"All you've got holding you to New York is a messed up family that really has taken enough from you without giving much back."
"My life is there Roy. I love the city, and I may not have a traditional job but I am the only hero working my section right now. Even if Damian weren't in the equation, which he very much is, I don't want to move. And I don't think I should have to relocate to stay with you. That's a bit much to ask."
"Then I don't think there's anything else to say."
"So you're done?" Dick's voice broke as he said it.
Roy squeezed his eyes shut, wanting both to block the sight of Dick's heartbroken face and keep his own pain from sight. "It doesn't sound like there's another option. I'm sorry."
"Me too." Dick got up and went for the stairs. "I'll just get my clothes and get outta here then."
"You can still stay for nachos." Roy certainly needed the comfort food. That hadn't been how he'd thought the conversation would go at all.
Dick didn't answer him, and a few minutes later the front door shut behind him.
Roy slumped down on the couch with the cooling tray of nachos in front of him. He really wanted to get drunk, and that scared him because any desire to deal with his emotions through a substance, even alcohol, was a bad sign.
But he really wanted a drink, and it wasn't as dangerous for him if he did so with company. He went upstairs to find his phone so he could give Grace a call.

The next morning found Dick sitting in a crumpled heap by his front window, still wearing his Nightwing costume because he'd never changed out of it after his patrol, using all his willpower not to call Roy and tell him he'd changed his mind about everything. As it was, he'd already gotten on the computer and looked up apartments in Keystone four or five times since he'd gotten home.
He felt the same as he had seven and a half years ago, when Lian died and Roy spiraled into an emotional wreck. Dick could have gone after him, sacrificed the life he'd built and gone under with Roy just enough to bring him back, but he'd only chased Roy so much because he knew he needed to be strong and whole for Damian. That hadn't changed. Even though Damian was older, he still needed Dick's help, and he wouldn't abandon the kid.
But it still hurt.
He looked at his phone again, and was wondering if he might be able to convince Roy that they could do long distance for another five or six years when it started ringing. Dick dove for it, then swore when he saw that it was Grace calling him. He didn't even like Grace.
But she didn't like him either, so it might be important.
"Hello?"
"Grayson? Hey man, can you get down to Keystone like five minutes ago?"
Dick rubbed at his eyes. "I don't think I'll be heading to Keystone again for awhile Grace. It's compli-"
"No, I know you and Roy just broke up. We went out for drinks to talk about it. Thing is, his baby-mama grabbed him while we were stumbling through the parking lot."
"…what? Cheshire kidnapped Roy?"
"Unless he's got another baby-mama he never told us about, yeah it was fucking her, and I know that bitch can't have anything good planned for him. Now can you pretty please get your pampered, pretty little butt down to Keystone and work your detective magic so we can find him?"
Dick cringed, but really there was no question there. He'd have to deal with Grace. "Fine. I'm on my way."
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Birds and Bees