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Birds and Bees	By : defying3reason Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 2564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, or any aspect of the broader DC Universe, and I make no money from my fanfiction

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Chapter Seventeen
Linda Park-West stood in front of her living room window, sipping a mug of tea and watching the quiet suburban street. It was almost two in the morning and she was the only one home. Her husband and daughter were off-planet with her in-laws, fighting some sort of speed aliens she'd never heard of. After this many years of marriage to a superhero, she had a hard time keeping the nemeses straight.
She wasn't really worried about them though. Wally did an admirable job keeping Irey safe even when he wasn't backed up by Barry and Bart. She was worried about her son.
Jai had asked permission to go out for a couple of hours even though it was a school night (and even though he was still supposed to be grounded, what with having snuck out and skipped school multiple times during his original grounding). He'd asked right after opening up to his parents about his sexuality. She'd thought that they'd had a breakthrough, that Jai was going to start trusting them…
Linda walked across the room and plucked a framed photo off the mantle. It had been taken shortly after the twins were born and showed Wally half crawling over the hospital bed with Irey in his arms, leaning over to give Linda a kiss on the cheek. Being surprised with childbirth had taken a lot out of her, so she wasn't exactly holding Jai; it was more accurate to say that the newborn baby had been placed in her arms for the sake of the photo and a bonding moment. At any rate, it was a beautiful picture and whenever Linda worried about her children she liked to look at it, remind herself that she and Wally had already lost them once, and be thankful that even if things weren't perfect, they always had the potential to get better because the children were alive. As long as they were still there, she could hope.
Even before the attack that had made Irey the twin with sole command of the speedforce and irrevocably turned her into a Daddy's girl, Linda had known that Jai was going to be a momma's boy. They'd been closer. Irey was a girl of action and heart, just like her father, while Jai was a boy of measured analysis, much like his mother. But lately she felt that she was losing that connection. He'd turned so secretive, so moody. Which he'd always been, but the teen years were exaggerating those traits.
She missed her little guy.
Sighing, Linda set the picture back on the mantle, checked the time with her cellphone, then went back to the front window and continued her vigil.

Meanwhile in Gotham city, the Dark Knight was having his own misgivings about his child. Damian had left that morning to check up on Dick, a habit Bruce fully encouraged. He knew that Damian got something out of the relationship that he himself was unable to give his son, though he wished it were otherwise. At any rate, he was glad the two were spending time together out of costume in what could be argued as a comparatively normal situation (it would have been better if Dick were recovering from say an illness instead of a gunshot wound, but still. He'd take what he could get).
He'd expected Damian back in time for patrol, but wasn't terribly concerned when he set out without a Robin by his side. Perhaps they'd gotten caught up in their social activities, or perhaps Dick had asked Damian to check in on something crime fighting related in New York. It would make sense. Obviously Dick couldn't patrol his city at the moment.
He still wished someone had called him. It's not like it would have taken much time.
After an extended fight with Clayface Bruce checked the time and realized it was almost midnight. Well that was just ridiculous. Even considering how close Damian and Dick were, Bruce was the teen's guardian and he deserved a phone call if Damian was going to be out of the city overnight. He called Dick's cell, hoping there was a good excuse for their thoughtless behavior.
The phone rang for quite a long time considering Dick was currently an invalid and therefore bedridden, theoretically with his phone in easy reach. When it went to voicemail Bruce went from slightly annoyed to decidedly irritated. He called back a few times until Dick finally answered.
"Oh hey…I, uh…my phone was in another room and I didn't-didn't hear it. Shouldn't you be out patrolling though?"
"I am," Bruce growled. He was cruising around the city in the batmobile keeping an eye out for trouble while he talked. "You're on speakerphone. Where is Damian?"
"He's…not with you?"
That hesitant response sounded much more genuine than the uncomfortable rambling Dick had greeted him with. Bruce felt his stomach lurch. "No, I haven't seen him since he left to visit you in the morning."
"Oh…well, well I'm sure he's fine. He'll probably turn up soon-"
"He's supposed to patrol with me every night unless he has other engagements, and if he has other engagements he's supposed to inform me of them. Something must be wrong. I'll activate his tracking signal. You didn't notice anything suspicious when he was there, did you? When did he leave? Did anyone appear to be following him or paying him an unusual amount of attention?"
"Uh-uh Bruce, you really shouldn't panic…I'm pretty sure he's okay, he's just, uh…"
Bruce pulled over to the side of the road, closed his eyes, and forced himself to take a deep breath. It didn't do anything for his irritation, despite his years of experience with Zen meditation. "Will you just spit it out?"
"Kay, I think he's okay, just, um, probably in need of, uh…some space…because he…he…hesawmehavingsex. And uh…I think he's…um…issues?"
Bruce counted to five in his head. He'd really thought that back when Dick had become a legal adult the man's horrendously complicated sex life would never need to be his concern again. That was decidedly not the case, and Bruce hated the world a little more for it. "Alright. And what did he do after that?"
"Broke out of my place through the bathroom window without speaking to me."
He frowned, considering. "I don't see how walking in on someone could cause enough awkwardness to go off the grid for an entire night. I still think we should look into his well-being."
"See though…he didn't just, like, walk into the room and walk out again. He, uh…hid and watched. And Roy saw him and…yeah. So, so I think he just needs some space for a bit."
"So you're saying my son is a voyeur?"
Dick took a little while to answer. "Voyeur's probably not the right word…I mean, I don't think he's making a habit of this or anything. Unless you count stakeouts, which we as an extended family unit have decided not to do. But uh…he's got some hang-ups. About me. I'd thought we'd taken care of it, but uh…you might wanna have a sex talk with him or something."
"I see. Well, thanks for passing along this information far too late to be at all helpful."
"Oh fuck you! I'm the one who's been doing all the heavy lifting in this mentoring situation. You think this has been pleasant for me? That I'm treating his emotional health lightly? Go fuck yourself." Dick hung up on him and, with a sigh, Bruce turned off the speakerphone. He likely wasn't going to be able to get the man on the line again.
As far as he could tell he had three options regarding his son. He could do as Dick suggested by giving the boy some space and continuing his patrol, or he could locate him and force a confrontation about his feelings, which wasn't appealing. In fact, he was pretty sure that would just be cruel for the both of them.
And then there was the last option. He could conduct an investigation about Damian's recent unsupervised activities without letting the boy know.
That last one sounded right up his alley. Bruce headed back to the Cave to hack into his son's computer files and rifle through his personal possessions.

Early the next morning two teenage boys in rumpled clothes snuck into their homes through their bedroom windows (Jai had needed some help, but once Damian showed him which neighbor's tree to jump from, he'd been fine), both completely convinced that their parents were none the wiser about their nocturnal activities. Jai fell asleep with a rare contented smile on his face, while Damian came near a doze with a serene look that wasn't quite a smile.
Then his eyes rested on the newspapers stacked on his desk. They were in a different order than he'd left them in that afternoon.
Damian shot across the room and examined his desk, then his closet and dresser as well. Satisfied that nothing else was awry, he dismissed it as a result of Pennyworth tidying up the room and went back to sleep.

The next few weeks passed in some semblance of normalcy. Dick began taking up patrols again, though since he was having issues with Batman and Robin (Bruce didn't appreciate him getting snippy, and on the few occasions Damian was forced into his presence he avoided looking at Dick and said as little as possible until he could leave) he stopped visiting Gotham. Roy tagged along with him when he patrolled the streets of New York, and he returned the favor by visiting Keystone at least a few times a week.
Lian had mixed feelings about the increased frequency of Dick's visits. She liked spending time with him, and she loved seeing her dad so happy, but their house had really thin walls…
On the plus side, when Roy was happily distracted by his boyfriend, he wasn't as smothering as a parent, and she was able to sneak in more of those training sessions with Damian. She felt bad about hiding it from her dad (although really, she wasn't lying to him), but she needed more training than he was willing to give her.
Some day they were going to butt heads about her putting on a costume. Lian wanted to follow in her dad's footsteps and be Speedy (only when Mia was done with the codename though), but the few times she'd brought it up he'd iced over and she'd dropped the subject. It was clear he didn't want her to put on the costume, she just couldn't figure out why.
At any rate, she was determined to do it with or without his blessing, and at the moment Damian was the best teacher she had available to help her get ready for her future in spandex.
She was beginning to regret her choice in instructor though. Sure, Damian was an incredibly talented fighter, possibly the best she'd ever seen (and she's seen a lot of fighters), and she was learning a lot from him. But he was also the most condescending asshole she'd ever encountered (and again, she'd met a lot of those too). Part of the reason she was turning out to be such a quick study was because she fantasized about using some of her new techniques on her teacher.
Oh how she longed to get a hit on that smug fuckstick.
Lian practiced in secret whenever her dad went on patrol (which was less and less the longer they lived in Keystone City; the speedsters kept telling him he could stay in with his daughter where he was really needed) or when he was out with Dick. The week Dick got injured turned out to be a good one for her. Roy was gone so much that Lian had enough time to pick the locks to the safes in his bedroom closet and use his equipment to train. She familiarized herself with all her dad's trick arrows and assorted firearms, and used his weights to work on her upper body strength, which despite all her practice with archery was still a weakness.
Damian commented on her improvement the next time they met. They were in the Batcave "studying together" at the time (which really wasn't much of a lie).
"You've made a modest amount of progress since last time. I think you're fighting at the level I was when I was four."
Lian knew it was meant to be a compliment, but it still made her want to use that wrist thing he'd just shown her on him. "I think we should spar now," she said, hoping her voice sounded as sweet and friendly as usual.
At least he never noticed when she tried to kill him with her eyes.
"But I've only demonstrated two new techniques, and you're by no means proficient in them."
"No no, I think I'm feeling a spar. C'mon, let's go."
"If you insist."
Angry as she was, sparring right away was its usual bad plan. Damian pinned her effortlessly over and over and over again. He was more than a foot taller than her and had a significant amount of weight on her, plus his years of experience.
It was still infuriating though.
"Are you sure you wouldn't profit more from further instruction?"
"N-nah. Let's…let's keep going." She climbed back to her feet, refusing his offered hand, and took up the first defensive stance he'd shown her, willing her tired body to cooperate.
He flattened her another few times. At that point Lian was a sweaty mess; her clothes were damp and sticky, her face was flushed from exertion, most of her hair had come out of her ponytail, and she was ridiculously sore, but she was determined. Today was the day. She was going to take that self-satisfied prick down a peg by actually tapping him.
And then she did.
Lian managed to hit Damian's nose with the heel of her hand, spectacularly breaking it and knocking him back a few steps. She was seized with the urge to kick him in the crotch while he was distracted, but it was quickly overwhelmed by horror at what she'd done.
"Oh my god I'm sorry!" Lian squealed.
Damian cupped his hands to his nose, quietly groaning in pain. "S'ogay…I'be brogen by nose before. I cad atted do id byself." Damian's voice was muffled by his hands. His clipped, scary voice sounded pretty ridiculous with "broken nose accent". It would have been funny if Lian wasn't distressed about having injured her friend.
"I…I broke it? Really?" She felt a little bad about how proud of herself she was for that.
Damian took a few careful breaths through his mouth before answering, and when he did his consonants were clearer than they had been. "Yes. You should be proud."
He strode over to an alcove in the Cave that clearly acted as a sort of hospital room. There were a few cots along one wall, and the counters were brimming with medical supplies and equipment that Lian had to kind of wonder about. Did people get suspicious when Bruce Wayne bought CAT scanners and X-Ray machines for personal use?
Damian started taking care of his injury, and Lian hovered nearby, feeling awkward and increasingly guilty. He let out small hisses of pain as he packed his nostrils with cotton, and a few more when he straightened the bridge and applied the bandage. When they sparred, Damian flipped her around a lot and sometimes he bruised her a little, but he'd never actually hurt her.
"I'm really sorry Damian."
"For what?" he asked, sounding sincerely confused.
"Uh…for breaking your nose." Which really should have been obvious.
"Please don't be. This is what I'm training you to do, after all. Besides that, novice fighters have a certain level of unpredictability to them due to their incomplete understanding of proper technique. I should have been paying more attention, so really it's more my fault for my negligence than yours."
"…you weren't giving me your full attention? Even when I was trying to attack you?" She probably should have kicked him in the junk when she'd had the chance. So Lian was that little of a threat was she?
Damian sat down on one of the cots, and now that he was facing her some of Lian's anger vanished. He looked pretty miserable with his downcast eyes, nostrils packed with red tinged cotton, and the bruising around his bandaged nose. It would be such a shame if it healed funny. He had such a pretty face whenever he wasn't scowling.
"Yeesh. Uh…is your dad going to be concerned when he sees you like that?"
"Likely not. As I've said, I've broken my nose before."
"My dad would flip his nut, but then, I guess I don't get into many situations where I'm likely to come home injured. Plus he's kinda overprotective."
"Yes, he is rather possessive in regards to those he cares about," Damian said sourly.
Lian couldn't help laughing, and the boy pouted more strongly. "Aw…you don't like sharing Uncle Dick, do you?"
"I already share him with an unnerving amount of people, as the fool is far too social for his own good. And frankly, your father demands more attention than all of the others combined."
Lian giggled again and sat down next to him. "Yup. I love it though, because it gets him off my back a little. I'd never get away with these training sessions if Daddy was still single. So…what has you so distracted that I got a hit on you? Everything okay sweetie?"
"Sweetie?" Damian regarded her with obvious confusion.
Lian shrugged, face flushing. "You said not to call you Dami. I use pet names with people and sweetie's one of my stock ones."
"It seems incongruous with my personality."
"Yeah…I guess I could be ironic and call you sunshine," she suggested in a bright tone of voice that actually made him flinch.
Damian sighed. "If you really feel you must, you may call me Dami. But don't let anyone hear you doing it. I don't want that to catch on."
Lian smiled at him and watched in some satisfaction as his cheeks colored. "I promise to be very careful. So…you are okay, right? I mean, you're not usually this distant."
"In that you've never come close to striking me before, let alone actually accomplishing the feat."
Lian was tempted to bop his broken nose, but she settled for an eye roll. "Yeah, that. C'mon, I'm supposed to be helping you too, and I haven't really been pulling my weight." They'd briefly talked about his assignment, Lian had pressured him to carry it further and not insult Roy at all, and Damian had refused. The lessons in sociability had yet to be revived.
"Actually you have been helping me quite a lot. I enjoy our meetings," Damian murmured, all quiet sincerity. And it was moments like that that renewed her crush on the older boy. He could be an ass sometimes, but it was because he had no filter. He was the most painfully open and honest person Lian had ever met.
Plus he had really pretty eyes.
She took a second to recover from the fluttery feeling in her stomach before speaking. "Well I'm still supposed to be doing more than just coming over. I don't think being here is enough to make you socially competent, and this is a good opener. If you need to talk about something, I'll listen. It's something friends do for each other."
"I'm aware, and I've no doubt that you would listen. However, this…matter…is exceptionally private. I'm having romantic difficulties and I'd rather not dissect them."
"Oh." Well that solved the problem of the fluttery sensation, but the hollowness that replaced it was worse. "You're dating?"
"Not particularly skillfully, but yes. I started seeing someone I only had slight affection for to distract myself from an infatuation, and it's not working. If anything, the infatuation has increased in intensity while my feelings towards my romantic partner have diminished."
Lian did her best to push aside her jealousy so she could be a good friend and console Damian, but she still indulged in a cheerful fantasy of setting the faceless bitch on fire as she kicked her off of Wayne Tower. "Oh. Well that sucks. Lemme guess…your girlfiend's pretty but doesn't have enough else going for her?"
Damian smirked. "Not quite. To begin with, I'm seeing a male. I've recently discovered that I'm bisexual."
Lian felt her heart sink and then fill with hope at the successive revelations. If the beautiful super genius who'd brought her back to life and then saved it less than six months later turned out to be gay then the universe was just intimately painful. If he was bisexual then she could still hope he'd return her interest someday.
"And my boyfriend has rather a lot of good qualities," Damian continued. "He's very attractive, though I wish he were more…masculine I guess. Which is odd, because I do enjoy effeminacy…just in women."
Lian nodded. "But you like guys who look like guys."
"There is a certain amount of logic to it. My boyfriend is also fairly intelligent and quite clever. He knows about a variety of subjects I have very little experience with and…he's patient with me. I feel like I ought to like him more than I do."
"Maybe you will," Lian said, hoping she sounded more sympathetic than she felt. After all, who was more patient with Damian's eccentricities than her? "How long have you guys been dating?"
"A few weeks."
"Do you see each other a lot?"
"As often as possible, given my commitments. I just…keep comparing him to my infatuation. Which is unacceptable, I realize that, but I suppose I'd been hoping for that same level of intimacy in a romantic relationship."
"So you've got a crush on Uncle Dick too, huh?" Lian asked, feeling genuine sympathy this time. Ever since the first day of her resurrection, she'd felt a little uncomfortable any time Dick smiled at her. It weirded her out to no end.
Damian bristled. "I never said that."
"Dami, he's the only human being you have emotional intimacy with and he's really, really pretty. It really doesn't take a Bat to figure this one out."
Damian didn't say anything. He slouched down on the cot, lips set in a thin, angry line, and crossed his arms over his broad chest.
Lian patted his knee. "Hey, it could be worse. Your first silly childhood crush could be fucking your dad. Every chance he gets. Even when you're home and sitting in the next room."
That startled a laugh out of him. "I suppose that would be much worse."
"Yeah…the other day Uncle Dick showed up and gave me a present. New headphones. I think I turned red when I opened the bag."
Damian regarded her thoughtfully. "So you've got feelings for him yet you refer to him as Uncle Dick…I would think that would make it more uncomfortable."
"Oh no, it's a defense mechanism to try to dissuade myself from fantasizing about him. I mean, how more off limits could a guy get? Not only is the man old enough to have changed my diapers when I was a baby, but he's the love of my dad's life. Can you say awkward? And I know it's just a stupid thing and that I'll get over it, so he'll always have Uncle before his name to remind me of all that. In fact, if you ever hear me injecting 'Uncle Dick' into a conversation where I don't need to be saying his name every other minute, it's because I'm getting flustered."
"Oh. That explains a lot."
"Mm hm. So yeah, calling him that mentally reinforces that he's a bad choice for a crush. His old mental nickname was Captain Sexybum."
Damian clapped a hand over his mouth. Lian watched in amazement as he struggled not to laugh. "That is…a fitting appellation for him. His posterior is quite incredible."
"Oh my god yes. I've never seen an ass like that before, male or female. Unfortunately…I know for a fact that my dad thinks so too."
Damian winced. "Yes…let's not speak about that."
"Yeah, that was dumb of me. Uh…so what do you want to do now?"
Damian considered for a moment. "I actually feel a bit better regarding my emotions. Thank you Lian."
"Not a problem. It's what I do."
"Well you do it quite well."
She beamed with pride at that. His next sentence sank her back into a scowl though.
"However, your footwork is absolutely atrocious. Now that I won't be as distracted, I think we ought to continue with your lessons. I'm sure I can get you much nearer to basic competency before your father comes to get you."
"Whoop de doo."

"Hey, Dick? Are our kids dating?"
Dick had been driving home from Roy's when he'd seen Wally and pulled over to say hi. It had been over a month since his injury, and weeks since Damian had spied on him and Roy in bed. He could count the number of times he'd been in the same room with Damian since on one hand, and they'd all been exceptionally awkward.
It was amazing how much free time he had when Damian wasn't speaking to him, which was unexpected. Damian wasn't very chatty, but lo and behold, he was a surprisingly near-constant presence in Dick's life. He missed his little creeper…
At any rate, more free time meant more time at Roy and Lian's (Lian kept asking when he was going to move in), and that meant bumping into Wally a bit more since the two former Titans lived up the street from each other. Since Dick never saw enough of his nearly-lifelong best friend, he'd accepted Wally's invitation to go out and get a drink together. He was starting to regret that decision.
God damn this was going to suck.
"Wally…I can't talk about this with you."
"But he's my son-"
"Which means he needs to tell you this stuff himself. It's really not my place."
Wally frowned, staring down at the bar with a pout. "He already told me he was gay, so y'know, you wouldn't be outing him or anything. I know you guys don't like to do that to each other. But he just didn't tell me anything else. And, well, he's always meeting up with Damian, and then the other day I found a half empty box of condoms in his room…"
Dick started at that unexpected bit of news. One reason why he was only slightly unnerved by Damian's silence with him was because he expected that if the kid had any kind of serious development in his personal life, he'd take the initiative to break his silence and mend the rift out of necessity. Apparently Dick was wrong.
He couldn't believe Damian had lost his virginity without talking to him about it first. Especially considering how nervous the kid had been about just kissing another boy…
Dick gave himself a little shake and returned to the unpleasant task at hand. Wally was clearly waiting for an answer, which sucked because Dick was hoping he could change the subject. It didn't look like Wally was going to let himself get misdirected without a fight. "Look, I'm sorry dude, but I just can't. You're straight, you wouldn't get it."
"I really don't see what that has to do with this," Wally snapped.
Dick sighed. "We don't rat each other out to parents, okay? It's kind of like the closet thing." Which was a good call of Wally's, and something Dick was a little surprised he remembered. Dick and Roy had always been careful about how many people found out about their on-again-off-again relationship, and Wally was almost solely responsible for everyone who knew about it that they hadn't wanted to tell.
Like Grace. Dick really could have done without Grace knowing they were both Roy's go-to fuck buddies when he was single.
"Dick, I'm not asking you to spill all sorts of intimate details and break whatever gay code you have, okay? I just want to know if my son is in a relationship or not, and I don't think that's too much to ask."
"People come out when they're ready, at their own discretion, and they share what they're comfortable sharing with their parents." Which was why Bruce found out everything he had about Dick's relationships through detective work and carefully placed tracking devices.
"Oh, but if it was Irey you'd tell me if she was dating Damian just because it'd be a hetero relationship? How is that fair?"
Dick scowled and swiveled in his seat so that he too was facing the bar and not Wally. The guy really had no idea how sensitive a topic this could be for people. "If it was Irey I'd still say you should talk to your daughter instead of me. If you're having communication issues with your kids then that's your own problem and I don't want to be dragged into it."
Wally held up his hands. "That's fair, I guess. Hey, don't look all pissy like that. I'm not trying to…urgh, I'm just getting nervous. Jai is…I don't know what he needs from me anymore and I feel like I'm letting him down. It's the worst feeling in the world Dick, knowing your kid needs help and not being able to give it to him."
"I'm really sorry." And he was. Wally had appeared to have a near perfect family ever since he'd married his "lightning rod", but as the teen years progressed, it was clear that there were some cracks in the glue that held the Wests together. "I want to help, but-"
"He won't talk to us anymore. I've tried and so has Linda, but he's shut down. Just…can you just let me know if it's a relationship or not? I mean, if they're fucking around then I can't get too upset considering what I used to do, but…I just want to know if he's hiding hook ups because he's ashamed, or if he's hiding something more meaningful because he doesn't trust us."
Dick frowned, and finally nodded. "Well I don't know if it's a trust issue or not, but he is dating Damian. It's been a little over a month. Actually, I think they're getting close to two months now." He rubbed absently at the scar on his thigh as he spoke, and felt like a bastard for the betrayal. But he tried to smile reassuringly for Wally's benefit. It struck him as a horrible sign that Jai was being secretive to his parents to this level, especially since Damian was pulling away from him (and he couldn't see his moody Robin going to anyone else over this).
He really hoped the kids were okay.
Wally let out a slow breath and finally looked up from where his hand was clenched around his beer. "Okay well that's…that's…I'm not really sure what that is, but hey, at least it's not just hook ups. So, uh…sorry. How is your kid anyway? You two have any exciting patrols or anything?"
Dick scowled. "He's not actually my kid."
"You know what I mean."
He considered telling Wally the truth, that he and Damian weren't actually speaking at the moment. However, he didn't want to explain the circumstances that had led to that (especially considering what he'd just leaked to the man). He made a noncommittal noise, and was saved the necessity of further comment by Wally getting distracted and waving across the bar to the restaurant's entrance. Dick turned around to see who he was waving at and threw in his own little wave.
It was Wally's other best friend, the Pied Piper. Dick wracked his brains for the man's real name, but couldn't remember it. At least he answered to Piper if you called him that. Even though they were both really close to Wally (Piper was Irey's godfather while Dick was Jai's) they rarely bumped into each other. Still, every time Dick had spoken with Piper was memorably pleasant. They got along really well, with a certain amount of chemistry that had always made Dick wonder…
Piper walked through the restaurant and approached them at the bar. Dick hadn't seen him since Wally had recruited him to help Dick set up his electronics after he'd moved, and it had been years since he'd seen him before that. He looked good; he was wearing jeans and a dress shirt, and he was wearing his shoulder length hair down for once.
From what Dick had heard, Piper had gone through a rough patch around the same time Roy's life had fallen apart (it involved getting accused of murder falsely three times in two years; Dick figured being a reformed criminal made you a tempting target). Stress had clearly taken its toll on the poor guy; he was permanently underweight, which made his haunted blue eyes more prominent in his wasted face, and there was a fair amount of silver in his red-gold hair.
He still looked good though.
"Hey dude," Wally greeted, pulling out a stool for his friend. "What are you doing here?"
"Meeting James, but I'm a little early." Piper nodded in greeting towards Dick.
"James?" Wally asked. "Not the architect again?"
Piper smirked and nodded. "We're taking it slowly, just getting to know each other again after all these years. I'll try not to scare him off by asking for a commitment ceremony prematurely this time."
Dick choked on the sip of beer he'd just gulped and Wally patted his back. "You okay Dick?"
"Yeah, fine," he rasped. Oh what the hell, he might as well just come out with it. "How come you never told me Piper was gay?" That was information he definitely would have liked any of the myriad times he'd had his heart trampled on (generally by Babs) and could have used a date with a nice guy. Piper had always seemed like a really nice guy.
He seemed to have gotten the wrong idea about Dick's exclamation though. His eyes iced over as his posture became defensive. "Is that a problem?"
Wally looked distinctly uncomfortable.
"No, no," Dick assured him. "Wally's the problem. I'm bi. He should have let me know you were gay when I was still single." He turned his attention to Wally. "Dude, I even told you I was looking for a date last year at the League Christmas party."
Piper came very near a spit take himself. "You're bi? Wally, what the hell? I thought we were friends."
Wally slouched down a bit. "Look, it's not that big a deal. I mean, just because you like red heads and you like brunettes, it doesn't necessarily mean you'd click."
Dick and Piper gaped at their mutual friend in stunned silence. Dick finally shook his head in disbelief while Piper frowned.
"Did I somehow offend you at some point? Because if I did, I'm really very sorry for it."
"It's just weird when your friends date, okay? That's the only reason I never told you guys you were, well, kinda well suited for each other. Besides, it doesn't matter. You're both rekindling things with your exes now anyway."
Dick looked Piper over again, liking the little flush on his cheekbones from the scrutiny. "Y'know Piper, me and my boyfriend are both musicians too." Which was a bit of an exaggeration on Dick's part (he played guitar, just not particularly well), but Roy was a total music nut. "We should hang out sometime and jam."
"That'd be lovely."
"Mm. And if it doesn't work out with this James guy, we should have a three way."
"La-la-la-la!" Wally clamped his hands over his ears and jumped off the barstool. Piper turned red, but he laughed along with Dick.
The thing was, Dick wasn't joking.

"Irey, can you go upstairs and get your brother? Dinner's ready!" Linda called into the living room.
"Sure Mom!" There was a whooshing noise, and Linda scowled. She really hated it when Wally and Irey used their speed when they didn't have to, especially in the house. Wally wasn't really that bad, but Irey was a klutz and they'd save a lot of money in broken furniture if she'd just walk between rooms.
Irey raced into the kitchen, startling Linda into dropping her casserole dish. Irey quickly grabbed some spare potholders from under the sink and caught it just before it would have broken on the tiled floor. "Ta-da! Uh…sorry Mom. I won't run in the house."
"Wanna try and keep that promise for more than an hour this time honey?" Linda rolled her eyes, but took the casserole dish back and walked to the table without further comment. "So where's your brother?"
"Uh…"
"Oh for the love of…he's gone again, isn't he?"
Irey chewed her lip and looked away. "Yep."
"You don't have any thoughts about how he's getting out without any of us noticing, do you?"
Irey shrugged. "Beats me. Do you want me to take a run around and look for him?"
Linda was considering it. Ultimately, she decided against it. "No, that's okay. I'll be right back, I left my phone in the living room. Can you call your dad and let him know that dinner's ready? He went out to get a drink with Dick and I want to catch him before he gets talked into a team up."
"Okay."
Linda retrieved her cellphone and tried calling her son. She was disappointed but not surprised when the call went straight to voicemail. She texted Piper and asked him to let her know if he heard anything from Jai, then went into the kitchen to try to enjoy a meal with the two members of her family that respected her enough to communicate with her.
And instead she got a text from Irey letting her know that the speedsters were taking off for a Rogues battle.
Piper ended up eating supper with her, which was nice in its own way so she did her best to reign in her irritation. They sat out on the porch together with her laptop and watched updates on the battle at the Flash Museum.
"Did you see that Hartley? That little beast in the ugly green jump suit just winked at my daughter! I hope Wally punches him in the face."
Piper laughed. "That one's Mark Mardon's son. So he's a flirt? Color me unsurprised."
"Urgh…I'm having a hard enough time with Jai right now. Irey is not allowed to start an illicit teenage romance with an up and coming super villain."
"She just hit him at least a dozen times at superspeed, if it makes you feel better."
"It does, actually. That's my girl. So how have you been lately? I heard you started seeing James again."
"I was supposed to meet him at the restaurant tonight, but the Rogues caused street closings and traffic. He's stuck in Central for at least another hour from the looks of it, so I've got some time to kill."
"Oh." Linda pursed her lips, and Piper regarded her with a defensive expression. She hadn't meant to show that much skepticism. "I'm sorry Hartley, I just think it's a really bad idea to start seeing this guy again. You know I loved James back when you were together and he was making you happy, but then he dumped you out of the blue and he hurt you so much. Are you sure you want to give him another chance?"
"It was ten years ago."
"And has he changed a lot in ten years?"
"I won't find out unless I give him another chance, now will I?" he snapped huffily. Linda scowled at him.
"I just think it's a bad idea."
Piper rolled his eyes. They sat in silence for a moment, attention returning to the laptop screen to watch more of the mayhem. Piper snorted and did a poor job trying not to laugh when Axel blew the head off of the big memorial statue of Barry that they'd never taken down from the front of the museum, even after his resurrection.
Linda leaned over and poked him in the ribs. "You know, Barry's probably going to come by with Wally and Irey for a post-battle celebration."
"Except for how he's never done it before as he's been a bit of a shut-in since his untimely death and resurrection?" Piper returned without missing a beat. Piper generally got along with the speedsters, despite the fact that he'd spent the early years of his costumed career on the wrong side. However, Barry was the only speedster that had ever beaten him and hauled him to jail. Barry had humiliated him, and Piper had done his best to return the favor.
They didn't get along, and as they shared an awful lot of important people in common, their solution was to avoid each other.
"Well there's a first time for everything. Oh look, he just gave Axel a wedgie over the neck stump of his vandalized statue. I think Uncle Barry's in a good mood today."
"Right, well I think I'll be on my way. James might be calling soon."
Linda smirked while Piper quickly jumped to his feet. "Take care Hartley."
"You too Linda. Oh, one thing before I go?"
"Yes?" she asked, looking up from the laptop.
"…can you tell me anything about Wally's friend Dick?"
Linda quirked an eyebrow, reporter instincts kicking into overdrive. "Why?"
"Uh…no reason. Forget I said anything. I'll give you a call if I hear from Jai. Bye Linda."
"Bye Hartley."

Meanwhile, Jai wasn't heading out to dinner like he expected.
He'd been procrastinating doing his homework when he'd gotten a text from Damian asking him if he wanted to meet up. That usually meant going out for dinner, stumbling through an awkward conversation where Damian tried his best to "act like a real boy" and they unintentionally offended each other, having another conversation in the car where they apologized and had a genuine emotional exchange, making out in a parking lot somewhere, and then ultimately getting a room in a posh hotel (it was good to be dating a billionaire) and having sex that gradually increased in quality every time.
The relationship was by no means perfect (if it didn't get better soon, there was no way in hell Jai would be able to convince Damian not to dump him for Lian when she was old enough), but it was the best thing Jai had at the moment. He lived for those short, impersonal little texts and the passionate encounters that followed them.
Jai was a little surprised when Damian drove them to a park by the river. Damian turned off the engine but remained in his seat, and Jai eyed him curiously. "What's going on?"
"We need to talk."
"Okay…uh, I'm not psychic Damian. What do you want to talk about?"
Damian remained facing front, posture rigid. After a moment he slouched into a more normal sitting position, but his eyes were downcast. "Jai…are you happy with me? Is our arrangement…are you satisfied with things as they are?"
He didn't like the sound of that. "I guess. I mean, mostly, yeah. I'm having a lot of fun with you Damian. I really like you. You like me too, don't you?"
He took way too long to answer that. "Yes. I do like you Jai. But something about this relationship feels a bit off to me. I was wondering if you felt that way as well. It's just me?"
"M-maybe. I know we're a couple months in now, so we can't blame it on, like, new relationship jitters and inexperience, but…but I think things are always going to be a little weird just because we're weird people, you know?"
Damian sighed, and something about his expression looked defeated. Jai distinctly didn't like that expression, and he reached for Damian, hoping he could do what he'd been doing so far and reassure the other boy with kisses and caresses. Their verbal communication left a lot to be desired, but their physical intimacy was coming along nicely.
Damian flinched away from him though, and went so far as to grab his wrists. "Not right now. I told you, we need to talk."
"Y'wanna loosen your grip a little there? O-o-ow!"
Damian instantly dropped Jai's hands as though he'd been the one crushed in a bruising grip. Jai held his wrists up to his eyes and let out an indignant snort when he saw his already-bruising skin. "Friggin' peachy. At least I've got some bracelets that'll hide this from my mom. You really gotta watch it Damian. Your hands are fucking weapons. You wanna remember that?"
"Like I could forget."
"Sorry." He really wasn't. "Look, if you wanna dump me then just fucking dump me." If Damian dumped him then he was going to climb to the top of the Keystone/Central bridge and jump off of it. "But do me a favor and get it over with. You don't have to slap me around first."
"I'm not…" Damian stopped himself and took a labored sounding breath before continuing. "I just wish to speak. To communicate. We seem to have some difficulty with that. I don't wish to cease seeing you Jai, but I want to make sure that this discomfort I feel is only the result of my own…my own emotional inadequacy. If that's the case then it's something I need to overcome. You're…you're satisfied with me?"
"Are you kidding? Damian, I'm the luckiest guy in the world to get to date you. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I know what we're doing isn't, like, perfect, but it's the best thing in my life. I'm so happy you're my boyfriend, and I swear on my life I'm telling the truth."
Damian did his little insecure-almost smile thing, and Jai wanted to lean in for a kiss but he was concerned about provoking another bruising restraint.
It was safer to ask first.
"So it feels like we're having a moment. Can I kiss you now?"
Damian's smile grew to the level of a real, recognizable one. He cupped Jai's face with his hand and initiated it himself.
Jai was so not giving this boy up without a fight.
"You know Damian, you kinda drove us to one of the popular makeout spots."
"I did?" Damian regarded him with some surprise. "But this is a children's park. It should be frequented by children. Given the hour though, children aren't likely to be out of their homes and thus it shouldn't be populated by anyone-"
"Yeah, Einstein, that's why it's a makeout spot."
"Oh. You know, now that you mention it I do see the logic."
"Mm hm. You know what else I was gonna point out? We haven't done it in a car yet…" Jai smiled seductively.
"That is true…"
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Birds and Bees