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Birds and Bees	By : defying3reason Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 2564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, or any aspect of the broader DC Universe, and I make no money from my fanfiction

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Chapter Twelve
Dick flopped onto his couch and let out a sigh of contentment. His new apartment was already mostly set up and blessedly empty. He'd spent the better part of Saturday moving in all the big furniture with Wally and Donna's help while Wally's friend Piper set up his electronics for him. Sunday day had been spent unpacking and reorganizing, and Sunday night was for relaxing. He'd promised himself that Nightwing wouldn't hit the rooftops until Monday at the absolute earliest.
However, Dick wasn't used to taking this much time for himself, and after twenty minutes of relaxing he started feeling anxious.
"Dammit." He got off the couch and was halfway to his bedroom when he forced himself to turn around and head back into the living room. "You promised yourself Grayson. No costumed adventuring tonight."
He always said he didn't have enough time to do things he enjoyed. What was it he liked doing again? He'd already read for three hours.
He liked reading, he liked sex…he liked punching bad guys.
Damn. He had to have more hobbies than that (could sex even count as a hobby?)
Dick flipped upside down with his legs swung over the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. He supposed he could take his free time and fix one of his fractured personal relationships. "Alright, who am I hiding from at the moment?" For once he was actually in pretty good standing with Bruce, so that left Barbara (no), Damian, or Roy.
Dick thought about it for a minute, then fished out his phone and called Damian.
"That was quick," Damian said sharply, answering after the first ring.
"What was quick?" Dick asked.
"You seeking out company after running away for 'personal space'. You're going to become unbearably clingy, you do realize that don't you?"
Dick smirked. "I think you'll manage. You wanna hang out? I've still got some leftover pizza from my moving buddies."
"I'd rather not."
"Really?" Dick asked, surprised. He swung his legs around the couch and righted his position. "But you spent all last week bitching about me moving."
"Yes, but then we had that troubling exchange and I don't want to deal with you wasting half the night bothering me about perceived emotional distress."
"Well we need to talk about it eventually," Dick pointed out.
There was a brief pause, and when Damian spoke again he sounded annoyed. "I suppose. Fine, I'm on my way."

Dick's new apartment really wasn't that far away from Gotham. New York was almost a straight shot once Damian got on the highway, and he was there in less than three hours. Parking was a bit difficult, and Dick lived on the fifteenth floor of his building so there was a bit of an elevator ride, but other than those minor annoyances commuting to see him wasn't actually a horrendous difficulty.
He was never going to admit that though.
Dick answered the door wearing low riding cotton sleep pants and an old t-shirt with a loose collar. Now that Damian was aware of his sexual attraction to the man, he wished he'd dress and behave a bit more modestly. This was uncomfortable enough without Dick looking all tousled, like he'd just climbed out of bed...
Great, now Damian was thinking about what it would be like to lie in bed with Dick.
Well that was disconcerting.
He brushed past Dick without comment and walked around the main room, observing Dick's new residence. Dick kicked the door shut and followed after him. "So what do you think?"
"Functional. I suppose I could spend some time here."
Dick laughed. "Glad I got the Robin stamp of approval. Did you actually want my leftover pizza or should I order you something? I haven't gotten around to food shopping yet."
Damian glanced disdainfully at the pizza box sitting on the coffee table, and Dick walked into the kitchen to place an order for delivery. While he was away Damian strolled around the room, running his hand along the spines of some of the many books crowding Dick's shelves, picking up the occasional framed photo, and wishing the comfortable looking living room was in a building in Gotham where it belonged.
Dick returned a moment later and sat down on his couch. Damian didn't join him, but stood in front of the window instead. "So what do you feel needs to be said?" Damian asked.
Dick leaned back and stared at the ceiling as he let out a loud, exasperated breath. "You really think we don't need to talk about this?"
"I'm here, aren't I?" Damian pointed out. "I didn't think you'd be reasonable enough to let it go."
"Damian, you said you were in love with me."
"No I did not."
Dick sat up straight and stared at him. "Yeah you did!"
"No," Damian insisted. "While I was in a state of exhaustion and feeling emotionally vulnerable I implied that…that I would be a more appropriate partner for you than Red Arrow. Which is true, actually. Very few people wouldn't be more appropriate partners for you than Harper. However, I've done some reflection and I've satisfied myself that I'm not in love with you."
"O-oh. Well that was quick."
Damian nodded. "I do find you attractive though, so if you don't mind, could you kindly tone down your more wanton tendencies in my company until I've moved past this particular stage of my sexual development? You're not exactly an ideal target for my desire you know."
For some reason, Dick looked troubled by Damian's words. Considering the look on his face when Damian had made his impulsive declaration, Damian would have thought Dick to be comforted by his lack of interest.
"Kay, ouch. You know Damian, I've spent all weekend working on ways to let you down gently. You could have returned the favor and come up with something better than 'nope, you're too much of a slut for me'."
Damian smirked. "Well you are."
Dick tossed a throw pillow at him. "You're such a brat!"
Damian easily avoided the pillow, relief washing through him. Things felt normal again. He sat down next to Dick, and his eyes only lingered on the exposed skin of Dick's throat and collar bone for a moment before he met his eyes.
"You know, you're the second person I've inadvertently called a slut in the past twenty four hours. Any advice on avoiding that particular slight?"
For some reason Dick found that comment hilarious. He doubled over and almost fell off the couch. Scowling, Damian crossed his arms in a huff. "I wasn't being facetious."
"Sorry, sorry." Dick sat up straight and tried to regard Damian with a somber expression, but there was still mirth dancing in his eyes. "Who else did you call a slut?"
Damian quickly related the story about his encounter with Jai West. To his credit, Dick only burst into giggles twice, and when Damian assaulted him with throw pillows and then threatened to get a batarang he managed to get control over his emotions.
"Alright, well, what is it you want to do with Jai, exactly?" Dick asked.
Damian rolled his eyes. "I'd thought that was clear."
"It really isn't. Jai didn't get your message, did he?" Dick pointed out, and Damian slumped down against the couch, feeling defensive.
"I suppose not," he admitted after a moment of indignant silence. "I was hoping to…I suppose I wanted to…you know, I'm not entirely sure."
Dick nodded. "Thought so. Do you want to date him?"
"Possibly. Certainly not anything long term though."
"Okay, so tell him you want to get to know him a little better, maybe go on a few dates. I'm not sure if you noticed this Damian, but a lot of people like a little romance before they jump to the sexual propositioning."
"I suppose this is your strong suit. You know, promiscuity."
Dick winked at him. Then it was his turn to sink down into the couch cushion, only he sighed dejectedly instead of scowling. "So tonight I realized I have exactly three hobbies, and being a wanton slut is actually one of them. I need to get out more."
"You go out on patrol every night."
"Didn't mean that one in the literal sense Damian. I was thinking of expanding my horizons beyond sex, reading, and crime fighting."
Damian shrugged. "To each his own, but I happen to be satisfied with two out of those three hobbies. I'm considering expanding my horizons to include the third though."
Dick smirked. "Did you let Bruce know he needs to have 'the talk' with you yet?"
Damian frowned at him. "I let Father know I was bisexual. There was no follow up talk. What was he supposed to tell me?"
To Damian's surprise, Dick jumped up off the couch and started swearing as he paced around the room. "He's really leaving this one for me too? That's not fucking fair!"
"Grayson, what on earth are you going on about now?"
Dick scrubbed a hand through his hair and then sat down on the arm of his couch, facing Damian. "Apparently I get to give you the second half of the birds and the bees speech."
Damian regarded him blankly. "No need. You weren't exactly enlightening after I walked in on you and Harper when I was a child, and Mother did an even worse job of it before that. I conducted my own research. I know the mechanics of human sexual expression and require no further intervention, al-hamdu l'illah."
Dick rolled his eyes. "Right, so you've got the dry, boring mechanics. There's more to it than that."
"I also familiarized myself with sexually transmitted diseases and methods of prevention. Though from what I've read of Father's file on you, you could use a refresher."
Dick spluttered indignantly at that. "I always use protection! Those things just aren't one hundred percent. Did Bruce really record me getting syph?"
"Of course."
"Well I got treated."
"He recorded that as well," Damian said patiently. Dick flipped him off and Damian threw a throw pillow at him. "Anyway, I'm reasonably sure I can handle all of this on my own without further awkward conversations. I'm seventeen. I'm not exactly a child."
Dick sighed. "I noticed. However, your research didn't help you when you tried to talk to Jai, now did it?"
Damian decided to cede him a point. "Alright, what do you suggest?"
Dick leaned forward. "I need you to promise me something before I teach you how to charm my best friend's son though."
"What are your conditions?" Damian asked.
"Don't use what I teach you to hurt him. He's already pretty sensitive, and he's got a huge crush on you."
"He had an odd way of showing it," Damian replied sourly.
"People are funny like that. Damian, promise me you won't hurt him."
"I'll do my best."
"Okay. Well, tip one. This should go without saying, but you really should open with a compliment next time."
Damian felt a stab of indignation. "I suggested engaging in sexual exploration! Isn't it implicit that I find him attractive and enjoy his company?"
"And yet he thought you were calling him a slut..."
"Alright, I'll compliment him. What else?"
"Try a few romantic gestures. But don't go over the top, guys shut down if they think you're trying to feminize them."
"I need specifics here Grayson. Wait, before you continue, do you have a notebook and a pen?"
"Yeah, I'll be right back."

After a few hours of humiliating discussion, Damian was reasonably sure about what he'd done wrong in his first attempt to seduce Jai West. He had a strategy for the next time he saw the other teen, but he wasn't sure when that would be.
He'd asked his father about it, and Damian was the only member of the Batfamily that hadn't been invited to Superboy and Wondergirl's wedding. Seems where Drake was the best man and everyone knew Damian didn't get along with him, it had been thought better to exclude him from the event entirely. Damian saw the logic, but he still found it insulting.
His father offered to skip the wedding and remain in Gotham with him, but Damian got the feeling that had more to do with Bruce's desire to avoid the large social gathering than spend quality time with his son, so he declined the offer.
It really wasn't that big a deal. Damian had never been close to Conner Kent or Cassandra Sandsmark (he supposed it would be Cassandra Kent now though). And besides that, it wasn't a sound idea to have all of Gotham's guardians up on the Watchtower at the same time. Someone had to protect the city.
There weren't any other social events coming up for quite some time, so Damian figured his best bet was to make an excursion to Keystone City and seek Jai out himself. He had no real excuse for doing so, so rather than wait for a pretense to present itself he simply excused himself from patrol for the Friday night before the wedding and took a personal night off to go to Kansas.
He inquired at the West home and was informed that Jai was out for the night (thankfully so was Irey, otherwise he'd have been pulled into a lengthy and undesirable conversation). Damian politely excused himself from Mrs. West's home, then snuck back into Jai's bedroom and looked for clues.
He hadn't been in the teen's bedroom in years. It was much more cluttered than Damian's, but not messy. Jai had a lot of electronic devices, as well as CDs (many of them clearly burned and labeled in the same unfamiliar handwriting), comic books, and frivolous possessions related to personal grooming. While Damian was looking over one of Jai's two computer desks he found a framed picture of Jai as a child standing with a man he didn't immediately recognize. They were both holding custom designed flutes and smiling proudly.
The flute clued him in, and Damian finally recognized the man from his perusal of Batman's files. It was the Pied Piper, though obviously dressed as a civilian. Damian knew the reformed criminal turned hero was a family friend of the Wests' but hadn't been aware that Jai specifically had a bond with him (it was the only framed picture in the bedroom). Perhaps that would be useful later.
There was a flyer for a nightclub sitting on the desk. The address was circled and a note had been scrawled on it. "Doesn't card. Hit up Friday with Luke." Damian sighed. "Wonderful." West had left evidence of his intentions to engage in illicit activities in plain sight where his parents could happen upon it at any moment.
Perhaps he was making a mistake. Maybe West was too stupid to be a suitable partner.
Still, it's not like Damian was overrun with better options. He pocketed the flyer, climbed out the window, and went in search of the establishment that was known not to check identification.

Damian was crouched on the roof of a neighboring building to the club Jai had selected, investigating it before he committed himself to entering and finding the other teen. He wasn't especially comfortable in nightclubs and preferred to avoid them when he had the option.
This one looked similar to locations in Gotham he frequented during his crime fighting activities. Something occurred to him: Jai was also the child of a respected superhero; perhaps he was at the club to investigate and not to be reckless and foolish?
Almost as soon as he had that thought, Damian observed movement from one of the club's rear exits. As he watched, a group of young men wearing their ill intentions on their sleeves left the club for a deserted alley, one of them dragging Jai West. It was as if Damian had summoned him.
"Good, he's found a group of suspicious men. He really is undercover," Damian mumbled to himself. West was a good actor; he was doing a convincing job of feigning inebriation.
He was also quite skilled at blending into his environment. Damian always had difficulty adopting the dress and mannerisms appropriate to underage club clientele when he worked undercover in Gotham, but Jai had done an excellent job with his attire, hair styling, and even a bit of makeup. Perhaps all the grooming items in his bedroom weren't entirely frivolous.
He wanted to believe that Jai was working so badly that it took Damian observing one of the strange men groping Jai while he ineffectually flailed and whined at them for him to admit that this was a crime in progress and not an undercover investigation. Damian leapt into the alley and made quick work of the young men, then hauled Jai to his feet by his shoulders and spun him against the wall.
"Just what in the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
"H-huh?" Jai gasped. "Oh no, Damerob'n? M'not in Gotham, am I?"
Damian released his hold and Jai slumped against him before he got his feet under him. "Whoops."
"In this state, I probably could get you to Gotham if I wanted to. It would be the definition of neglect to leave you alone like this, wouldn't it? Little boy, may I tempt you into my vehicle? I have candy. And puppies," Damian sneered.
Jai peered at him in some confusion. "You don't haff a dog, tha's Superboy. He does. Heyas Krypto."
"Just come with me." Damian grabbed Jai's arm and roughly dragged him from the alley.

Jai woke up in a strange bed with a muddled understanding of what had happened the previous night. Meeting up with Luke and Shane was pretty vivid, but once they'd gotten to the bar and he'd had a few drinks things got hazier.
That wasn't right. Jai wasn't a heavy drinker or anything (since that would be wrong, what with him being underage and all), but he knew he could handle more than the two fruity little chick drinks Luke had bought him. Had someone slipped him something?
Panic set in as Jai realized he wasn't wearing the clothes he'd gone to the club in. He slapped his hands to his chest and felt along his torso, rubbing the unfamiliar fabric of an unfamiliar t-shirt.
Wait, what the hell kind of rapist took their victim to a posh hotel room, cleaned them up, and dressed them in comfortable pajamas?
Jai got out of the massive bed he'd been sleeping in and poked his head out the bedroom door to investigate.
His mouth went dry when he saw what was in the living room: Damian Wayne shirtless and doing pushups, golden hued skin slick with sweat. For a few minutes Jai could only watch the flexing of Damian's muscular physique, struck dumb with lust.
What the hell had he done last night?
"And just how long are you planning on lurking in the doorway gawking at me?"
Startled, Jai jumped backwards, tripped on the too-long sweatpants he was wearing and fell over, landing painfully on his ass. "Urgh…"
Damian walked over to him, wiping the sweat from his pornographically perfect body with a towel. He glanced down at Jai with that haughty, disdainful expression that always made Jai want to impress him. Jai's mouth was hanging open. He was aware of it, but couldn't get himself to close it. Not when Damian was so close and half naked like that.
"I contacted your parents and invented a plausible excuse about requiring your assistance for a case, so you have an alibi for last night and this morning."
"O-oh."
"In return for this, I'd like to discuss your behavior."
Damn. Jai unsteadily rose to his feet, determined not to take whatever Damian was going to say to him literally lying down. "What about it?"
Damian narrowed his eyes. "Do you even know how you behaved last night?"
"I had actually been wondering about that," Jai said with mock cheerfulness.
Damian didn't look amused. "You put yourself in harm's way and, being the child of a superhero, I can only assume this was a deliberate action. You imbibed a dangerous substance, hopefully unknowingly, and would have been preyed upon by unsavory men had I not intervened."
"Thank you?"
Damian's glare got scarier by a few notches. Jai hesitantly took a step back. "Uh…thank you kindly? Damian, I don't know what you want me to say."
Damian's voice got so low it was almost a Bat-growl (and Jai was a little frightened of himself for being turned on by it). "You're going to swear to me that you'll never behave so recklessly again. You know better than that West. Whereas I do rescue civilians on a regular basis, it helps if those who know better don't go looking for trouble."
"Plus I'm guessing Keystone City is a bit of a commute."
"Don't get snippy with me. Those men last night could have done anything with you. They were at least planning on raping you. You owe me Jai, now promise. Promise me you're not going to put yourself in danger like that again."
Jai tried to speak, but faltered. He lied to his parents about this sort of thing all the time, hell he even lied to Irey. So why couldn't he just tell Damian that from here on out he'd be a good little boy?
Jai looked away, then retreated further into the room and sat on the bed. Damian shut the door, tossed the towel aside, and stood in front of him imposingly. "So you're telling me I should have left you in the alley? Because clearly your life wasn't worth saving if you're going to just do the same damn thing again."
"What can I say? I'm in my nihilistic phase."
"Well get out of it."
"It's not that simple!" Jai snapped. "I'm depressed."
"Over what?" Damian asked.
Jai looked up at him in exasperation. "I don't know! Stuff. I can't help it, I just get upset and I either don't want to leave my room or I need to get the fuck away and do something crazy. Why do you care anyway? I thought all you wanted out of me was a fuck. Well if that was the case you probably should have taken your chance last night-urgkh!"
Damian grabbed Jai by the shirt collar and slammed him into the wall. His eyes were terrifying, and very close to Jai's (incidentally Damian was taller than Jai by quite a few inches, so for them to be eye level Jai's feet were dangling above the carpet). "I would never do anything like that."
That was a full Batman growl.
God help the criminals of Gotham when Damian Wayne took over for his father.
"I-I wa-would ne-s-s-sorry!" Jai finally gasped. Damian let go of him and he fell to the floor, unable to get his feet under him in time. His eyes welled with tears and he hid his face. "I'm sorry Damian. I don't mean to be such a mess. A-and I do appreciate you saving me, really."
Damian sat down on the end of the bed with his hands clasped together, holding his arms so that his hands hung limply between his knees. Jai recognized the way his fingers were locked together with his thumbs touching; it was a meditation pose. He must have gotten under Damian's skin.
"If what you say is true and you are depressed, there's likely a biological cause to it. You should inform your parents and seek out treatment." Damian's voice had lost that frighteningly angry edge, and Jai hesitantly sat up, watching him cautiously.
"I tried talking to them about it once. They didn't really believe me. Dad said I don't have anything to worry about really, so I should just cheer up and Mom thought it was a phase." At least, that's what Jai was pretty sure they'd have said if he'd actually told them. Huh. The reluctance to lie to Damian cleared up on its own.
"That was foolish of them."
"I guess." Jai self-consciously rubbed at the developing bruise on his backside. "So…um…what now?"
"I'd still like you to swear to me that you'll alter your behavior."
Jai frowned. "I don't wanna lie to you though." He didn't want to lie to Damian a lot, and that was close enough to the truth to count.
"So alter your behavior," Damian said through gritted teeth.
"I guess I can try to be more careful."
"Good. Because if I have to keep visiting Kansas, which is not in the least bit convenient, I am going to be very displeased with you."
"Why the hell do you care so much?" Jai asked. "We're not even friends! First you proposition me, now you're suddenly all concerned about me-where the hell is this coming from?"
For a brief moment Damian looked unsure of himself. It was an expression Jai recognized well, since he saw it in the mirror on a daily basis, but he'd never expected to see it from Damian fucking Wayne. The kid was just made of determination and self-assurance. He had been for as long as Jai had known him, and if Robin doubted himself then nothing in Jai's universe was real.
"I…I'm attracted to you. And I would like to get to know you better. I'm sorry if my language with you at your birthday party was inappropriate. It wasn't my intention to offend you. I've learned since then that I should have begun with a compliment, so here goes. I find your company enjoyable."
Jai shakily stood up, an incredulous smile on his face. "Get out, you're attracted to me? But you're like made of sex!"
Damian regarded him in obvious confusion. "How so?" It wasn't fair of him to say something like that while he was half naked. Damian wasn't blind; he had to know what he looked like!
Jai waved a hand at Damian and stuttered out an explanation. "What do you mean how so? Just look at you! You're all, all tall and built and tho-tha-you're fucking hot, okay?"
Damian smirked, and looked even more like sex than he had already. "I understand that I'm somewhat desirable, but I think you've overestimated me. I'd have thought being made of sex implied some sort of expertise."
"Oh. No, by my definition it just means someone is incredibly fuckable, and that's you."
"I see…well then I suppose by your own definition I would regard you as made of sex, so likewise."
This was getting bizarre. "Damian, I don't know if I can flirt with you. I feel like I need to study up for it first."
"Then let's move things along. I've told you that I would like to become more familiar with you. Would you like to do the same?"
Jai nodded. "Of course. But uh…I don't think we should start with sex."
"That wasn't what I meant to imply when I spoke with you before. I see the merit in courtship."
Jai blinked. "Courtship. You mean dating?"
Damian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'd thought the terms were synonymous."
"Well one of them is archaic. Look at me, I know big words too," Jai teased. He felt an irrational urge to cheer when that provoked a (tiny) smile from Damian. "So you want to date me?"
"Yes…I believe standard protocol suggests dinner and a movie."
"Okay, cool." Jai sat down on the bed next to Damian, fidgeting with his fingers but feeling more excited than nervous. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected the secret object of his lust and affection to ask him out on a date. Maybe he'd been spending too much time with his sister listening to her drone on and on about her stupid crush on that pathetic up and coming supervillain, but he started fantasizing about perfect dates, stolen moments, secret hookups, doing it in the batmobile…
Then Damian punctured the fantasies. "I do feel it necessary to inform you though, that my intentions towards you are not long term."
"H-huh?"
Damian regarded him with an expression of perfect calm, as though they were discussing some kind of business arrangement instead of the start of a relationship. "As I mentioned before, I am bisexual, not homosexual. I intend to one day marry a female, produce an heir, and cultivate a traditional family unit. I wouldn't be able to accomplish these things with a male partner."
"Oh." Jai felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Something of his feelings must have been showing on his face, because Damian regarded him with an almost gentle expression.
"It's probably best for you to take some time to think this over before you make any commitments. I just felt it was best for you to know this now as opposed to later."
Jai nodded. "Y-yeah. Uh…you're sure you wouldn't, you know, change your mind? Like if we really got along and you…I mean, we could fall in love. You never know."
"No, I don't see myself settling down with a male. I'm rather sure on this point."
Jai nodded, still feeling a bit numb.
Besides, why would Damian change his plans for a fuck up who couldn't even look after himself in a divey little club? At this point in time, Jai wasn't worth the attention of someone like Damian anyway. He'd take what he could get, and maybe someday he'd be a real partner for the gorgeous young man, and then maybe Damian would change his mind…
God, Jai really was as bad as Irey.
"Dinner and a movie probably wouldn't hurt," Jai mumbled.
"Fantastic. I believe you've agreed to attend the wedding tonight, so I'll see you tomorrow night. Unless Sunday is an undesirable night for a date? I have to admit, I've never done this before."
"Sunday's a little weird, but it's okay. Uh…Damian, I'm not out to anyone yet so can you keep this quiet?" He'd only told his sister about being gay, and he'd sworn her to secrecy.
"Coming out of the p-closet really wasn't difficult you know."
"Yeah, well your dad's cold and rational."
"Touché. I'll use discretion."
"Thanks."
- 11
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- 13
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Birds and Bees