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Birds and Bees	By : defying3reason Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 2564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, or any aspect of the broader DC Universe, and I make no money from my fanfiction

Chapter List
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Chapter One
"What are you doing here?" Dick's hand was on the door, ready to slam it in Roy's face. He hesitated though; Roy did deserve a baseline level of respect, until his behavior necessitated a different response anyway.
"Uh…how about checking up on you?" He looked a little confused at the question. "You've been on silent to the rest of the community, but I know you've been going through shit, like bad, so yeah. Let me in." Roy made to push past Dick, who more firmly held the door in place, allowing only an inch or so of open space.
"I'm fine. Damian and Alfred are here. I'll call you when I have time if you're that worried."
"When you have time. Dude, I did drive through town to get here. I saw what Gotham's like and I'm not gonna wait the six or so months it'll take for you to have a minute." Roy pushed harder on the door, startling Dick, who recovered quickly and slammed it in his face. So Roy pulled out his cell phone and dialed Dick's.
"I changed the number." Dick said, peering through the door's peep hole.
"Why'd you do that?"
"Because I don't want to talk."
"Wait…are you done?" Roy asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach. They'd gotten a month, one fucking month before everything went crazy in Gotham, and now Roy was gonna lose out on dating the only guy he'd ever felt anything for for the second god damn time, and this time it hadn't lasted long enough for him to screw it up.
Dick opened the door again and peered at him through a one-inch crack. His expression was unreadable, but plenty brooding. "I don't know, okay. Probably. It'd be better that way."
"Bullshit! We hardly even started! Look, Dick, we need to talk and I don't want to have this conversation here, through a door." Roy hissed.
Dick frowned, considering. "Damian's inside. He's supposed to be in bed, but, well, he doesn't listen to me. And that could get him, me, or both of us killed." Dick said carefully, watching Roy's reaction as he'd tried to put in a comment about what he thought of Damian. "If I let you in you have to promise not to make a scene and not to give the kid any more reasons to think less of me."
"Why the hell do you care what a snotty ten year old thinks of you?" Roy demanded.
"Because he's Bruce's son and I won't have him getting hurt on my watch. You didn't really think it was about ego, did you?" Dick asked with a smirk that didn't reach his eyes. "God Roy, I was raised by the circus and Batman. My self-esteem is pretty solid after that roller coaster."
"I thought so, but you never know."
He looked tired, more tired than Roy had seen him since they were kids and he was pulling triple duty with Bats, the Titans and school. Dick stepped aside and let him in.
Roy shrugged off his coat and tossed it on the couch. Dick picked it up and herded them to a nice, spacious bedroom where he promptly shut and locked the door. Roy stared at him, bemused. "You really don't want them to know I'm here, do you?"
"I'd rather not give Alfred a reason to start asking questions about my sex life again, and I don't think you and Damian would get along."
"I'm good with kids."
"Which is why you won't be with Damian." Dick explained.
Roy shrugged. He hadn't met the terror yet, but he'd heard stories. He sat down on the bed, adopting an innocent pose and looked up at Dick questioningly. It was taking all his self discipline not to jump him; they'd gone back to fuck buddies when they'd both been without monogamous relationships and only recently discussed the idea of starting a real relationship a few months ago, having gone for it a month or so before. Then Bruce had died under sketchy circumstances and everything had gone to hell. He hadn't been laid in awhile, what with the monogamy agreement, and Dick was looking damn fine barefoot in low riding pajama pants and a sleeveless black tee.
Dick eyed him. "Don't even think about it."
"Hey, I wasn't thinking about sex." Roy lied. Dick didn't appear to believe him. "Well, only a little. But come on, I haven't seen you in two and a half weeks and you look…like sex."
"I should have left you in the hallway." Dick started pacing.
"You wanna sit down? You're making me nervous."
"I'm fine, okay? I didn't need you checking up on me. I can handle this. Alfred's been really helpful and mostly things have gelled together a lot better than I thought. I can do this…"
"Dick, you never wanted to be Batman. So no, I won't believe that you're fine. You're grieving and wearing the fucking suit while you're still missing him. That's gotta hurt." Roy pointed out.
Dick sat down next to him and put his head in his hands. Roy leaned over and slung an arm around his shoulders, offering friendly comfort. "I do miss him, and I know I'm not good enough, but neither was anyone else so…so…God, I don't want to be this, I'm just Nightwing."
"I know you can handle this and that you're gonna kick ass, I just thought it'd help to know that I get how hard this is for you." Roy gave him a little squeeze, and felt Dick shift to lean more fully into him. The guy always was a sucker for human contact.
"Thanks. Yeah, it does help."
"So I take it Damian's been a real pill so far?" Roy guessed. He was slowly maneuvering them towards the pillows, and maneuvering Dick more fully into his arms.
"Oh god yes, he has such a stick up his…and he's only ten. I mean he's brilliant, maybe even more so than any Robin past, but he's so overconfident and contemptuous that his brilliance goes to waste with his refusal to listen and to be guided from me and Alfred's experience. You know? When you think you're smarter than the rest of the world, you assume no one can teach you anything. It's like everything I tell him, I have to give him a ten minute logical explanation of why I should be listened to, because he doesn't respect me enough to just take my word for it and I…I don't know how long I can do this for."
"You know if he's not respecting you then you should just give me ten minutes alone with him. I bet I've got a few trick arrows that can guide him plenty." Roy offered.
Dick rolled his eyes. "He can take you."
"What? You think a ten year old can take me?"
"Oh yes. I think he could take me too if he ever had a reason to." Dick added. He'd gotten nice and comfy snuggled up to Roy and was enjoying the indignant reaction he'd provoked. Roy started rubbing his back, indignance giving way to fondness almost instantaneously.
"Damn you're tense." Roy pointed out. "I can feel the knots through your shirt."
"It's a thin shirt." Dick rationalized.
Roy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You want me to knead 'em out?"
"If you're offering…"
"Oh yeah, just one of the many benefits of dating Roy Harper. A neurotic bastard like you should totally take advantage of the massages. I mean, assuming we are still…?" His voice got small at the end and lost the light bravado.
Dick sat up and looked at him, and Roy waited with bated breath, wishing he could read Dick's facial expressions better.
"Roy, I honestly don't think I can give you what you deserve right now. I am going to be a terrible, terrible boyfriend, even taking into account my past experiences and that's saying something. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea right now."
"Well I know you pretty well." Roy said carefully. "And I know that you cannot get through crises in your life without lots and lots of sympathetic cuddling and sex. And if you don't get it from me then you're likely to either start mucking around with an ex-girlfriend and stir up a whole lot of resentment and guilt that shouldn't be looked at again, or you're going to go someplace scarier that could end in disease or scars. So I think it's better for you to stay with me and let me worry about how much emotional support I get. I can take it, so don't worry about what's fair to me."
"But you don't-"
"Dick. I can put up with your bullshit. We've been doing this dance since we were seventeen fucking years old. I think it's about time we stopped bullshitting each other and just…be together." He trailed his fingertips lightly over Dick's arm. "C'mon…I'm a redhead. You like redheads."
"That's not even a little funny." Dick snorted. Roy leaned in and kissed him, and was happily not pushed away. He slowly moved back and looked Dick in the eye.
"I don't need to see you every day, just whenever you need me to be here, okay? And assuming I'm not busy with the League and Lian's okay, I will get here. And I won't expect more than you can give."
"That sounds too good to be true." Dick pointed out. He smiled lightly as a thought occurred to him. "And maybe it's just been awhile since we tried dating, but I think I remember you being needier than that."
"Yeah, well I was a teenager. Besides, you're the one who hopped a bus and showed up at my place crying after fighting with your mentor."
"Once!" Dick exclaimed. "You snuck back to Gotham with me like every chance you got to avoid Green Arrow!"
Roy pushed him flat on the bed and draped himself over Dick. "Uh huh. That was mostly a ruse so I could spend the night and have more time to bang you. For a smart guy, you were pretty slow to catch on to that."
"Mm hmm. So the crying and emotional baggage and whatnot, that was all part of an elaborate ploy? Excuse me if I find it hard to believe your teenage self was that diabolical."
Roy smirked. "You would have figured it out if you weren't so distracted by my sexy." Dick outright laughed at that. Pleased at having gotten the damaged new Batman to loosen up a little, Roy leaned in for a slow kiss, wondering if he might be able to get laid tonight after all.
Dick was the one to deepen the kiss, hands wandering underneath Roy's t-shirt, occasionally lowering to the waistline of his jeans. Roy dipped to plant kisses on his jaw line, freeing his mouth to speak. "Roy…if we…do anything, we…need to be quiet…I really don't want to…mm, explain this to Damian."
"Kid'll notice you're made of sex in a couple years anyway." Roy murmured, and enjoyed watching goosebumps rise where he'd breathed against Dick's throat.
"I mean it. If he comes in here to investigate, you are out on your ass and you're not coming back."
"You locked the door. Loosen up Batman." Roy cut Dick's protest off with another probing kiss, his hands meanwhile roaming over Dick's body and provoking moans and shivers. Yeah, no way in hell he was giving this up. If Dick threw him out then he'd sneak back in through the window. Now that he'd been inside the penthouse and had an idea of where things were, it wouldn't be so hard…
It didn't take too long for the quiet rule to go right out the window, not when both men were particularly experienced at sex in general and also experienced with each other's bodies and reactions in particular. As much fun as he was having, Roy thought he was going to have a heart attack when he heard knocking on the bedroom door, right after he'd gone down on Dick and elicited quite an enthusiastic moan.
"Grayson, are you okay in there?" No mistaking that clipped, aristocratic little kid voice. Even though Roy had yet to meet the kid, it could only have been Damian on the other side of the door. Roy might have been occupied, but all he could think was, 'the brat calls you Grayson?'
"D-Damian? I'm f-oooooh…fine!" Dick's voice broke as he spoke. He smacked Roy's head and hissed, "Stoppit!" So Roy deep throated him and watched him throw his head back and bite his lip hard enough to draw blood in an effort not to scream. Dick wasn't always a screamer but Roy liked to draw that side out of him, and took some pride in it too. From what he'd heard Kory was one of the only other lovers who got those reactions.
Hmm, red heads.
"Are you being attacked? You don't sound well."
"Damian go to bed!" Dick's voice was breathless and not terribly convincing.
"Grayson, if you need help I can handle whoever's threatening you."
"Go to bed!"
Dick kept smacking Roy, who continued to give an enthusiastic blow job, way more amused than he should have been by the situation.
Then the brat high kicked the door handle off the door, banging it open in the process. Roy couldn't see behind them, but he could imagine the effect. He heard the door swing shut again.
Five minutes later Roy was thrown bodily from the penthouse and Dick sat down at the kitchen table with Damian across from him, prepared for a damned uncomfortable conversation.
"Glad to see you've got your pants on." Damian greeted.
Dick narrowed his eyes at the brat. His hair was all mussed and he had a few marks around his collar bone. He wasn't feeling very composed at the moment, but he knew he had to say something. "Damian…did I honestly sound like I was being attacked?"
"You were groaning a lot and your voice was very weak." Damian pointed out. "What was that man doing to you anyway? It sounded like it hurt."
Dick blinked. That hadn't been what he'd expected.
"Did you know him? I've never seen him before." Damian asked.
"Uh…that was Roy. He's, um, he's in the Justice League."
"Red Arrow formerly Arsenal formerly Speedy?" Damian asked. Surprised again, Dick could only nod. "Hm. He looks more intimidating in his file picture. So if he's friendly with you then why did he sneak here in the middle of the night and accost you in your room?"
"Uh…you really don't know already?" Dick asked. Damian eyed him curiously. "Damn, I was hoping Talia had covered this already…we were, um, having sex. Well we were going to, I kind of threw him out before we…we…yeah."
"Sex? But that's how children are made. Children can't be made from two men." Damian's expression darkened. "If you don't want to tell me then don't. I don't care that much anyway, I just don't understand why a member of the Justice League would show up at night to attack you."
"Damian, how much do you know about sex?" Dick asked. His expression turned indignant.
"Everything. Mother explained it already. I'm not a child, you know."
"You're not an adult either. What'd she tell you, exactly?" Dick asked.
Damian frowned and looked at his folded hands. "Something about tadpoles and eggs. It didn't make a lot of sense, actually. If the tadpoles are in the male and the eggs are in the female, then how do they combine to make a baby?"
Dick suppressed a groan. He'd honestly hoped a super-skank like Talia would have been comfortable enough about the subject of sex to have had a detailed conversation with her son. Nope. Apparently this particular unpleasant duty was going to be the job of super-skank Dick Grayson.
"Look, making babies is one of the results of sex and…sometimes that's the reason people do it." Dick started, already hating the way he sounded. "But another reason they do it is because it feels really good and it's a lot of fun. And if that's the reason people are doing it then it's possible for two men or two women to have sex too."
"Oh. So there are different goals. I see." Damian said with a nod. "Mother said something about sex usually accompanying love. Does this mean that you love Red Arrow?"
Dick frowned. "I'm…not talking about that with you."
"Fine. Like I care anyway. Still, if he's going to be here a lot then I'd like to meet him. Properly I mean. I need to know if I approve of him or not."
"It doesn't matter if you approve of my boyfriend or not, it doesn't have anything to do with you!"
Damian scowled. "Look, you're filling in as my guardian for now. I'll not have you getting involved in romantic entanglements with just anyone. If you're going to represent me while I'm relegated to Robin status then you're going to be as perfect a Batman as is possible, because I don't plan on being embarrassed by you."
Dick stared at him, temporarily at a loss for words. But when he recovered the ability of speech he did manage to nod. "Fine. You can meet Roy."
"Good. I'm going to bed."
Dick filled a glass of water from the tap and took a sip, mouth having gone dry during that awkward as ass conversation. Although it went a lot better than it could have; Damian hadn't asked him to clarify the tadpole and egg situation. Still, he knew it was only a prelude for more awkwardness to come and frankly that didn't make him very happy.
Then again, Damian had also shown enough interest in his life to want to meet his boyfriend. That was a hopeful sign. Maybe the kid would accept his place as Batman after all.
Dick tipped the remnants of his glass into the sink and walked back and forth across the kitchen floor a couple of times, considering. He finally opened up the front door where he found Roy sitting across from him waiting to be let back in.
"How'd you know I was coming back?" Dick asked.
"Because that was one sweet orgasm I gave you. Also you didn't get much cuddling in. Or your massage." Roy explained. Dick rolled his eyes. He stepped aside and let Roy back into the penthouse.
"You know, Damian wants to meet you." He said lightly as they made their way back to the bedroom. Roy had grasped one of his hands and twined their fingers as they walked. When Dick paused after shutting the door (as best he could after Damian's emergency entry) Roy cuddled up from behind and kissed his neck.
"Oh yeah? How's tomorrow morning at breakfast. I can make a pretty decent omelet."
"No fucking way."
Roy paused, not sure if he'd heard right. Things seemed to be going better than that.
"Alfred's making stuffed French toast tomorrow. There's no way in hell I'm having a rubbery half burned omelet over that."
"Rubbery and half what?" Roy's indignant response was cut off by a well timed kiss and he was soon distracted from his wounded pride.
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Birds and Bees