Help a Brother Out

BY : Worlds_First_Ghost
Category: Web Comics > Homestuck
Dragon prints: 207
Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

The slamming of the front door sent a resounding crash throughout the apartment. The thin walls vibrated and appeared to bend as lingering echoes continued to bounce off of them for several seconds after the initial boom. Every muscle in Nepeta’s hand seized all at once, causing the stylus in her hand to swerve haphazardly across her tablet’s screen. She looked down at her tablet, frowning at the jagged green line that now marred the drawing of a cat that she had been working on. Setting it aside, she turned towards the source of the noise, not at all surprised to see her brother rounding the corner into the living room.

With heavy shoes stomping about in an apparent attempt to recreate the disruptive racket of his entrance, Eridan tromped past Nepeta without acknowledgement before flopping onto a recliner with an overblown sigh. Several passing seconds of silence made it obvious to Nepeta that he wasn’t about to tell her what was wrong without a lot of prodding on her part.

“What’s got you so glum, oh purrother of mine?”

Eridan’s head swiveled away from his sister, his arms now crossed over his chest. “Drama and bullshit, Nep. The torrential storm of my love life continues to offer me no reprieve. It’d be outright indecent of me to drag you into it, so don’t even bother askin’ me about it.”

“No, tell me! I want to know,” she lied. This type of exchange would occur on an almost-weekly basis, whenever Eridan had a new problem on his hands. Problems seemed to swarm around him like flies to garbage, and Nepeta was always the one he crawled to whenever he needed sympathy and reassurance, regardless of whether or not he deserved it. She’d often put forth an effort to help him solve these problems, but none of her suggestions ever stuck to him. All he wanted was a captive audience to give him pity, not answers. Why would he need those when he was always right? Just once, she thought, she should just abide by his request to not ask and avoid being cajoled into throwing him a pity party. But she couldn’t do that. He was her brother, after all.

Another sigh heaved out of Eridan’s mouth as he shifted about in his seat. “It’s Fef.”

“You’re still purrsuing her?”

Eridan looked almost offended by the question. “Why the fuck wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you’ve had your sights on her for over a month now, right? Purrhaps you think about moving on?”

“Nep, the best fought battles were never won in a day. What kind of self-respectin’ strategist would I be if I don’t remain stalwart in my ambitions? A pretty fuckin’ lousy one I’d imagine.”

“At this point though, my hunter’s instinct tells me she might not be interested.”

“Don’t be stupid, Nep. I haven’t been outright rejected by her, have I? There’s no reason to halt my progress when victory is still within grasp.”

“But aren’t you worried that she might be put off by your constant insistence? Remember how we talked about how you sometimes come across too strongly in your advances?”

“Yeah real good thinkin’ there. If I ease up, how else am I gonna get a confirmation on her part? I gotta remain persistent, Nep. You’d know this if you had any sense of tactics and stopped fillin’ that head of yours with fantasy and rubbish.”

Nepeta pursed her lips to suppress a frown. This was usually the point in the conversation where she stopped trying to be the problem solver and took on the role of well-wisher. Rather than risk repeating herself, she forcibly curled her mouth into a smile. “Well gee, when you put it that way, I’m sorry you’re in such a purrdicament! I couldn’t pawssibly imagine why she wouldn’t recipurrcate your affections.”

Eridan nodded approvingly. “Exactly. Even I, with all my intuition and impeccable people skills, can’t navigate the exhaustin’ terrain that is social politics on my own. That’s why I’m enlistin’ your help in this mission.”

Nepeta cocked her head to the side. “You need my help? With what?”

Eridan smacked his forehead. “Aren’t you even payin’ attention? She obviously ain’t respondin’ to whatever I’m doin’, so obviously I’ll need a proxy to speak on my behalf. Think of it as approachin’ the situation from a different angle, if you will. I’m pickin’ you because you’re friends with her, so it should be no issue for you to make with the friendliness and go put in a good word for me or something. Come on, Nep, I wouldn’t be askin’ you this if I weren’t desperate here.”

While it was true that Feferi was a good friend of hers, Nepeta wasn’t sure if subjecting her to more of Eridan’s unwanted attention was a very friendly gesture on her part. “Wouldn’t it be more prefurable if you just continue talking to her instead? But instead, try saying what’s really on your mind! I bet she’d appurrciate your honesty and forwardness.”

“Use your brain, Nep. I can’t lay out my vulnerabilities to her like that without riskin’ a serious blow to my carefully crafted image. You’ve already built enough of a rapport with her that you can do pretty much whatever with each other without worry.”

Nepeta’s fingernails clacked against the screen of her tablet in an uneasy rhythm. “I’m not so pawsitive that this is a good idea. This whole scenario is a little weird, and I might be a bit out of my comfurt zone by approaching her on your behalf.”

Eridan threw his hands over his head exasperatedly. “Oh come ON, Nep. We both know you’re all about this gushy romance shit. You’re practically obsessed with it. What’s the point of havin’ all that know-how if you won’t even use it to help out your own brother, for cryin’ out loud?”

“But I don’t want to interfur with anyone’s love life! You can’t force these things, you know. I’m just an observer, I watch romances unfurl like a great purredator stalking her quarry.”

“Who’s forcin’ shit? All I’m askin’ is that you casually drop one or two niceties pertainin’ to me and gauge her responses. It’s just like you said, you’re just observin’ the situation. Gather up some intel on how she truly feels about me.”

Nepeta rubbed her chin thoughtfully. Surely it wouldn’t be too hard to say a few words to pump up Eridan’s image, right? Besides, if Feferi didn’t change her mind, at least she tried. “Well, when you phrase it like that… okay! I’ll sniff out her truest thoughts about you and haul my findings back to you like a hunter dragging back her kill.”

Eridan rolled his eyes. “Uh, thanks. I could’ve done without the metaphor, but I get the sentiment. You’re a real pal, sis. I’ll leave you to it then.”

Eridan got up from his seat and left the room while Nepeta picked her tablet back up to message Feferi. A meeting place and time was soon scheduled for tomorrow, leaving Nepeta to dwell on what she would say to her in the meantime. As awkward as it made her feel, she was sure that she was doing the right thing. It was all for her brother, after all.

The following afternoon, Nepeta arrived at the café that she and Feferi agreed to meet at. Located near the university, it was both a convenient and reasonably popular place for students such as themselves to congregate. Nepeta strolled past the automatic doors and immediately spotted Feferi sitting at a nearby table.

“Nepeta!” Feferi cried out, waving her arms excitedly above her head. “Over here!”

Nepeta waved back and grinned as she approached her friend. “Hey Fefurry! Let me order something real fast before I join you.” She went to the counter while Feferi rotated on her chair to follow her with her gaze, rocking back and forth all the while. It was no wonder that Eridan had a thing for her. Her infectiously cheerful personality made even Nepeta look downright dour in comparison. Of course, there were also her many admirable physical attributes: an athletic swimmer’s body, glossy hair that was the color of volcanic sand, lightly bronzed skin as smooth as butter, and magenta eyes that shone so strikingly that they could cause blindness if you looked into them for too long. In fact, all of those were most likely the bigger factors behind Eridan’s lust.

About half of the sugary coffee drink Feferi had been sipping on was already gone by the time Nepeta came back with her milk tea. Feferi stared in wonder at the tapioca balls clustered at the bottom of the cup. They jostled a bit as Nepeta set the cup down, only to sink back in their original position.

“Yours looks tasty,” Feferi said, sticking out her tongue to lick her lips. “Mind if I try some of it?”

“Go for it.” A thin trail of moisture followed the cup as Nepeta slid it towards her. Rather than using her own straw, Feferi took a long sip out of Nepeta’s. Dragging her lips slowly off the straw, she made a satisfied moan as she passed the drink back to Nepeta. The smear of her dark lipstick remained. Nepeta wiped it off with a napkin without mentioning anything.

“Thanks for inviting me out here, Nepeta. I know it’s hard to keep up with our schedules and all, but it’s so exciting whenever we get the chance to hang out.”

“Yes, I agree. I have to credit my brother, Eridan, for the idea though. He was the one who suggested that I get out of the apurrtment and socialize.”

Feferi quietly hummed in acknowledgement as she sipped her coffee.

“He’s very thoughtful,” Nepeta continued. “You’ve met him befur, right?”


“So what do you think of him?”

“He’s nice, but there’s something a little off about him. I don’t want to sound judgmental, but he comes across as a bit of a stuck-up, not to mention cagey. Like, he always acts like he’s got some kinda secretive motive whenever he talks to me.”

Nepeta forced a grin, hoping to conceal how accurate Feferi’s statements were. Talking up Eridan’s good points would be difficult if Feferi already knew about him almost as well as she did. “Oh, that’s just the way he is! He loves hisstory and political intrigue and all kinds of stuff, so I think he’s just trying to purrtend to be one of the people in his books. It’s just like role play. You could say it’s a common purrsuit we share.”

“I see… although you’re a lot nicer than he is when you do it.”

“He can be nice, too! Once you get to know him, I mean. He’s smart and fashionable and straight to the point, and umm…” Nepeta’s silence was drowned out by the increasing volume of her own fingers tapping against her cup. She looked at Feferi’s skeptical expression while she floundered in search of more good things to say about Eridan. “He, he’s… my brother…”

Feferi offered a sympathetic smile. To try and sing that snob’s praises was, at least to Feferi, undeniably sweet. Sweet was Nepeta’s defining attribute, both in attitude and appearance. Slender and spry, much like herself, but Nepeta had stronger, more defined arm muscles that were more suited to athletics on land rather than in the water. Dark, gnarled bangs snaked out from under her cutesy knit cap and framed her round, youthful face. Her green eyes, brilliant and unassuming, stared out anxiously yet still full of genuine interest in what Feferi had to say next.

“Hey, I totally get it,” Feferi said. “My mom can be a real handful, too, so I know what it’s like with family. Still, at least I don’t have to live with her anymore. I can’t even fathom how taxing it must be for you.”

Nepeta sighed. “He’s just a little… eccentric. But I guess all of our friends are, right?”

“Shore. They’re all a bit weird. Not you though, Nepeta. You’re pretty great.”

Blood rose to Nepeta’s cheeks and she waved away Feferi’s compliment with a laugh. “You’re just saying that!”

“No, I’m searious! Not a lot of people have the patience to put up with a guy like that.”

“Well like I said, he’s my brother, after all.”

“And I gotta say that you’re a real good sister for trying to stick up for him like this.” Feferi scooted her chair around the table so that she was sitting right next to Nepeta. Placing an arm around her shoulder, her fingers waltzed along the side of her neck until her hand cupped underneath her ear. “You’ve always been such a good friend, too, Nep. You’re just such a good all-around person. I reelly admire that about you, among other things…”

Nepeta’s heart thundered in her chest as she felt Feferi’s fingers languidly combing through her hair. Her eyes darted in all directions in a self-conscious effort to avoid meeting Feferi’s gaze. Normally someone breeching her personal space to this extent would’ve made her want to back away, but seeing that Feferi was a close friend, she was able to tolerate it. “Well, gosh, Fefurry… I think you’re a good friend too.”

“Do you like me?” Feferi kept her finger just an inch above Nepeta’s skin as she traced long, meandering patterns in the air. To Nepeta, though, each flick of the digit sent a stripe of heat snaking up and down her neck.

“Of course, I do.” The scent of sea salt and coral emanating from Feferi’s hair wafted into Nepeta’s nostrils as she sucked in a long breath. Tension melted off her muscles as the warm presence of her friend gradually set her at ease. Although she was oblivious to what Feferi’s real intentions were, all of this sudden affection still felt nice.

Feferi leaned in close to whisper in Nepeta’s ear, her lips a hair’s breadth from actually touching her. “What about pussy? Do you like that too?”

Nepeta slowly turned to look at her friend, hopeless confusion drawn all over her face. “Pussy… cats?”

Feferi giggled breathily. “No, silly. Let’s go to your place and I’ll show you what I mean.”

Nepeta wanted to ask for some clarification, but her thoughts were lost in a shroud of static inside her head. All she could do was nod in agreement before Feferi took her by the hand and led the way to Nepeta’s apartment. Even though Nepeta didn’t even remember walking through the door, the two of them were now inside of her bedroom and sitting atop her bed.

An eager smile was plastered on Feferi’s face as she draped an arm over the other girl’s shoulder and pulled her close so that her head was resting on her shoulder. She gently pulled the hat off her head and savored the faintly herbal fragrance of her matted hair. Her fingers combed through the locks, nails softly scraping her scalp. She felt Nepeta craning her neck upward to nuzzle against her palm, which prompted Feferi to move her free hand down to her recipient’s chest.

A moan began to coalesce in the back of Nepeta’s throat before intrusive thoughts rang through her head: What would Eridan think if he found out about this? Was he even home right now? She couldn’t remember seeing him, but that could be said of everything from the point that they left the café. Feeling the hand that was now cupping her breast, she placed a hand on top of Feferi’s and looked to her with a guilt-ridden expression. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Feferi’s hand stiffened as she slowly eased it away from Nepeta. “Why not? I thought you liked me.”

“I do! But… It’s not fair to Eridan. See, I was supposed to match you two together, but if we keep doing what we’re doing, he’ll be crushed. I couldn’t do that to him.”

Feferi’s mouth briefly twisted into a bewildered frown before her expression softened. “But I don’t like Eridan. I like you! No matter what happens today, that’s not going to change.” She brought her hand back to stroke Nepeta’s arm comfortingly. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want.”

Nepeta looked to the floor, her tightened lips trapping a dismayed mewl. Goose bumps prickled atop the parts of her arm that Feferi’s silky palm caressed. Nobody had ever shown interest in her before, and now here she was on her way for an intimate encounter with someone who was merely a friend two minutes ago. By all metrics, she should be happy. And if Eridan was as good a sibling to her as she was to him, he would be happy for her, too. Besides, like Feferi said, she just wasn’t into him; he’d have to accept that.

“I dunno.” Nepeta’s eyes rolled up to partly meet Feferi’s gaze. “Everything’s going too fast for me to purrocess. But… I also don’t want it to stop.”

Feferi nodded in understanding. “Here, I think I know something that’ll help you relax. You’re gonna love it, I promise.”

Gingerly laying Nepeta flat on her back, Feferi hopped to the floor and squatted down so that her head was level with the other girl’s waist. She undid Nepeta’s pants and slowly pulled them down, pausing periodically to gauge her reaction. When the other girl gave her no signs of discomfort, she pulled down her underwear as well. The pink tip of her tongue hungrily poked past her lips as she gently parted the untamed mass of pubes and stroked the tender lips underneath.

Nepeta shivered. Her neck turned to jelly as her head rolled backwards against the mattress. A moan rolled out of her relaxing throat. Her heavy eyelids just started to close when aprolonged creak squealed from the door’s hinges, causing Nepeta’s spine to shoot up like a ramrod. At the same time, Feferi swiveled completely around to see the shadowy figure standing in the threshold.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe what I’m witnessin’.” Eridan’s voice, while dripping with venom, almost sounded on the verge of cracking. “Nep, I asked you to scope out Fef so that she’d fall for me. I didn’t ask you to screw her!”

Nepeta crossed her legs to cover herself. Her eyes remained downturned, not daring to look her brother in the eye. “But I did what you said! It’s just that, well… I guess she doesn’t like you the way you like her.”

Feferi nodded. “Saury, Eridan, but I like your sister more. She’s just so… sweet?” She smiled weakly, but the innuendo only deepened Eridan’s scowl.

“That’s fuckin’ disgustin’. And if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate if you kept the wisecracks out of this serious family discussion I’m attemptin’ to conduct.” The glare returned to Nepeta and Eridan raised a shaky fist to point at her, all while his other fist trembled impotently at his side. “Do you want to try and defend this abominable breech of sibling trust, or are you just gonna accept this verbal thrashin’ like the whelp you are?”

“Eridan, please,” Feferi said, “I think you’re overreacting a bi–”

“I said quiet, Fef,” Eridan snapped. “This is a family matter. Hear that, Nep? Family. I always thought blood was thicker than anything, but I guess that notion’s been completely lost inside that vacant head of yours. Like, I’ve heard of people gettin’ cucked before, but never by their own sister. I can’t possibly sink much lower than that.”

Nepeta slumped forward as the insults and accusations rained down on her. At that last remark, though, she nervously brought her gaze back up to look at Eridan. His imposing silhouette loomed over her, but she fought the urge to slink back. “But that’s not what’s happening. I can’t be stealing her from you if you were never together.”

“We were together by virtue of intent. I had announced my claim on her before you even thought of it. You stole my idea.”

“No I didn’t! I was doing exactly what you said up until she said that she liked me. After that… I just realized that I like her in the same way.”

“That’s complete and utter deception. Don’t think I don’t know what your plan was all along. This is why you were always tryin’ to steer me away from pursuin’ her. You just wanted her for yourself. Seriously, Nep, I appreciate the attempt at bein’ underhanded, but you gotta try harder than that if you want to execute it well.”

Nepeta brought her hand to her temples, pressing down as if she was about to squeeze her brains out. The pain from that was nothing compared to the headache that was currently setting in from arguing with her brother, though. “No, you’re not listening! This was total serendipikitty!”

Eridan huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. His gaze was now pointed at a downward angle, purposefully looking away from the pair. “This is the absolute most fuckin’ typical thing to happen to me. I never catch a fuckin’ break, do I? I try to be cordial and considerate but none of that ever earns me any friends or companions. And now even my own blood is betrayin’ me. It’s like I’m doomed to live out the rest of my life with all my social bonds severed before I end up dyin’ all alone.”

“Enough!” Nepeta hopped to her feet, staring down her brother indignantly. She threw her arms out to her sides in an attempt to make her skinny form look larger. “Everything’s always about you, isn’t it? Why can’t something nice happen to me for once? I’m not going to let you ruin this for me, especially since it’s got nothing to do with you. This is about me and Feferi, not you, so leave us alone!”
Eridan stared at his sister, his face completely blank. With her arms stretched out and her body trembling with every sharp breath blasting from her nostrils, she really wanted to make this uncharacteristic ferocity look convincing. Pushing his glasses up his nose, he let loose one last scoff. “Fine, I’ll leave. I think I got my point across anyway. I ain’t got anymore business with a back-stabbin’ traitorous weasel like you.”

His shoes clicked against the floor as he turned and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Once the footsteps faded down the hall, Nepeta fell over backwards and crashed onto the bed. Her beleaguered panting devolved into whimpers all while shakes rocked her body. A hand on her shoulder seized her breath and she looked up at Feferi, whose eyes flitted between Nepeta and the door.

“So… I figure that you want to be alone right now?”

“No, no!” Nepeta’s arm shot up to grab Feferi’s shoulder. “You don’t have to go. Let’s just… try to pick up where we left off?”

A smile returned to Feferi’s face and she positioned herself on top of Nepeta, who let loose a cathartic sigh as she prepared to be whisked away into pleasure. Entrapped in the throes of impulsive passion, the outside world was just a mere hallucination. Neither of them could ever hope to notice the surreptitious fumbling on the opposite side of the wall as Eridan searched for the best spot for pressing his ear against. They also certainly wouldn’t be able to hear the crunching of his zipper once he established his position, nor would they hear his embittered grumbles as his hand fished into his open fly.

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