Burning Cold

BY : Madame_Anarchy
Category: Comics > Hellboy
Dragon prints: 648
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Mike Mignola, Dark Horse Comics or Guillermo del Toro and have no rights over anything from the Hellboy universe . I don't profit from this story.

Hellboy noticed Abe was acting different lately. Over the past month, he had been awfully quiet and recluse. He wasn't even talking much to him, the one he would always come to when he was troubled. HB tried asking him what was wrong many times, but never got a straight answer from him, always some excuse about just being tired or too busy to talk at that particular moment. Eventually, he decided to give his friend some personal space, he hated when people pushed him to say something, so he figured out Abe would talk to him when he felt like it.

Abe, on the other hand, didn't have everything figured out in his head. He was going through a lot lately, ever since some scientist on the BPRD decided to continue studying Abe, it all became hell. It started small, some blood samples and X-ray. Abe didn't like that from the start, just remembering everything that happened to him. Gradually, the physical exams became more frequent and more invasive, just like they used to be. Abe was ready to talk to a superior about it but unfortunately, he discovered that the orders were coming from above. He couldn't even say anything since he was being threatened to stay quiet, otherwise, he would be banished from the BPRD. He even thought he'd rather leave than continue like this, but he had nowhere else to go and he was becoming quite weak with all the tests they were running on him, he wouldn't last long by himself out there anyway.

Hellboy noticed his friend was covering himself with clothes a lot more recently, which was weird since he would usually just wear something on the bottom, everyone being used to see him like that. But what really made him put an end to his wait to confront him was when he was assigned to a field mission and arriving there, they told him Abe wasn't assigned as well, like he usually would. That pissed him off, apparently, he was the only one who didn't know what was going on. But when he arrived after the mission, his anger became concern, since he couldn't find him anywhere. He asked many agents if they had seen him, but no one knew where he was. Hellboy looked in his tank and all his secret places he would sneak out sometimes to read in peace or just when he needed some time alone. Still nothing. He went to his room, defeated and very worried. It was a bit past midnight, where could he be? He took a shower wondering if someone had kidnapped him, but he didn't believe in that. Abe knew how to defend himself and it would take a great deal of trouble to kidnap an agent inside the BPRD without anyone seeing it. He was agitated, but also very tired from the mission, and when he laid in bed to rest his body a little, he couldn't help but to fall asleep.

Abe was being kept in a very hidden lab in one of the lowest levels of the institution. Today they were testing an experimental drug on him, not really concerned about the side effects he could experience with it. Not even Abe knew what it was for, he even bothered to ask, but they said that to prevent any kind of placebo effect, they couldn't say anything. "Your drug sucks" Abe thought to himself since he didn't feel anything different, but he was still bothered since they collected blood from him all the time to see how quickly his system would eliminate it. He was allowed to go back to his tank around one in the morning, feeling dizzy because of the amount of blood they collected without giving him anything to eat or drink afterwards. He just dragged himself to the tank and slept almost instantly.

Unfortunately, his sleep was filled with nightmares and he woke up with his heart beating fast as he remembered some very disturbing image he had just seen while he slept. He curled to a corner of the tank, feeling very sad and alone. He was on the edge of what he could handle both physically and psychologically. Nightmares were becoming frequent and this was affecting him a lot. He allowed himself to stay there for a good while, he was exhausted but nowhere near sleepy. That's when he decided he wanted to see Hellboy, not saying anything to him, but just the idea of having him around was comforting to him.

He got out of the tank and dried himself fast, almost giving up on the idea, fearing Hellboy would be angry with him for his absence and silence. But he needed his friend right now so he walked his way to Red's room quietly and knocked on the door hoping no one else would hear it. He waited a little before knocking a second time. Hellboy woke up on the second knock, wondering if he had really heard that or if it was a dream. He opened and saw his friend standing there with a very sad and exhausted look in his face.

"Abe?" he widened his eyes remembering he couldn't find him before "Where have you been? I've been searching for you the whole night!" the demon said all at once.

"Can I come in?" Abe said looking down, avoiding eye contact.

Hellboy felt a sudden sadness take over him because of how his friend sounded, it was obvious he wasn't alright, but listening to his voice express so much sorrow in just a simple phrase made him understand the seriousness of whatever was going on.

"Of course you can" he said opening the door a little more so Abe could go inside. He closed the door behind them and looked at Abe in the clear light of his bedroom. He got shocked by what he saw.

"Abe… what the…?" he said without knowing how to make a proper question.

Abe looked down at himself and panicked at the sudden realization the had forgotten to cover his torso and arms with something. His arms were covered with marks from the injections and needles and his chest had some places where they had collected samples of his skin that didn't look very well. His first reaction was trying to reach to the door.

"Oh, no you're not!" Hellboy said stopping him right away by putting his hand against the door. Abe turned around to face his demon friend, he couldn't take this anymore. Hellboy stared at him for a while, trying to see through him but he didn't even know where to start. So he did the only thing he could think of and pushed him closer gently, giving him a hug. He knew he did the right thing when Abe's breath became uneven, like when someone is crying, but his friend was quiet.

"Hey… whatever it is, we can figure it out, pal" The demon said rubbing his friend's back for a while in a reassuring way.

It took the fishmen a while to calm down and break their embrace. Hellboy invited him to sit down on the couch and started questioning him about the past month.

"Abe, just tell me what is wrong… I'm really worried about you. You have been so quiet… I freaked out when I got here and I couldn't find you and when you finally show up, it's three in morning and you have a whole bunch of wounds all over you. We are friends, you can trust me for anything, you know that. Just please, PLEASE, tell me what is it."

"I can't Red… I really wish I could, but it's not that simple"

"Bullshit" he answered impatiently "You know if you don't tell me I'm gonna have to go punch the truth out of every agent in this place because no one is telling me shit about what is going on with you".

Abe was slightly amused by his friend's temper, they hadn't been talking much in a while and he had almost forgotten how he sounded when he was mad. In a moment of insane courage, Abe just placed his hand on Hellboy's arm and said "Look at them, it's not the first time you see me like this, right?" HB looked at his friend's arm, first not wanting to believe, but looking at Abe's face right after, he understood instantly.

"Don't tell anyone… please" Blue said pleading "Or they will expel me from here"

"WHAT?" he said loudly in surprise, "They told you that?! Abe, we can't accept that! Don't you see? They are killing you!"

Abe wanted to argue and say they would probably test stuff on him and eventually run out of experiments and leave him be, but he knew that wasn't true. He, indeed, almost got killed that other time. By now Red's eyes were filled with anger and Abe was afraid of whatever was about to come because Hellboy seamed pretty dangerous with that look in his face. But Hellboy forgot his hate for a moment when he turned to Abe to ask him more about it and saw that he was still caring that sad and exhausted expression.

HB sighed and said "We can fix this… But, for now… What can I do to help you feel better? I can't stand seeing you like this"

Abe was surprised to see HB act like this, he was expecting him to wake everybody up and start a huge mess, but instead, he gave priority to what he was feeling. This, just by itself, brought a warm feeling in Blue's chest, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"I'm just feeling so lonely, Red… I've missed you, but I didn't want to cause you trouble… that's why I didn't say anything… I also didn't want to worry you. I thought I could stand it by myself this time, but I really can't"

HB gave him another hug and while their bodies were close he answered "I've missed you too, pal… But you should have told me… I think this is what they want…"


"To separate us. It's easier to screw us if we are alone, but don't worry…" he said breaking the hug gently to look straight into Abe's blue eyes "I won't let it happen. If you get kicked out, I'm going with you".

Abe skipped a heartbeat by hearing that. Deep down, the thought it was more than he deserved. But he didn't say anything, he just smiled to HB, who smiled back at him.

Abe sighed.

"What is it?" Hellboy asked.

"I don't want to go back to my room… I don't want to be left alone with my thoughts right now"

"Stay here, then" HB said placing his hand on Abe's shoulder. "Or at least until you have to go back to the water"

The demon suddenly sounded different, almost shy and hesitant about what he just proposed. Abe placed his hand over Hellboy's hand, still resting on his shoulder, HB aware he could read his feelings by doing so. Abe couldn't conceal his face of surprise. He would never imagine his friend was feeling like this for him. Concern and anger were there, in the background, as he imagined. But what stood out at that moment was a warm feeling that made Abe's heart beat faster. He recognized that haze of mixed emotions the demon had for him because he felt the same. A mixture of silly fascination, a need for his presence, a fuzzy good feeling when he saw him smile or laugh, like that happiness it's the most precious thing in the world. Also, a desire for a type of touch friends don't have for each other, not only a sexual attraction, but a wish to be allowed to show physically the affection you feel.

HB was nervous to the bone, letting Abe read him like this, specially because he couldn't read him back. But observing Blue's expression, he could tell they were on the same page since he had a very meaningful look and sweet, but discrete, smile in the corner of his mouth. Hellboy knew Abe was too shy to make the first move, even knowing how he felt, so he took advantage of the fact he was reading his emotions. He thought of them kissing and asked for his permission with his gaze.

They both leaned forward for their kiss. Their first kiss. Hearts beating fast and tongues exploring each other's mouth, a little shyly on a first moment, but with passion as they felt more confident about what they were doing. They were in such synchrony, so lost in that moment, that none of them could say for how long they were kissing. By now, Abe's hands were in HB's back, feeling his muscles, something he wanted to do for a long time. Hellboy's right hand was on Abe's back but his left one was on the fishmen's thigh, massaging it softly, never getting enough of that feeling. Abe could feel using his ability that HB was starting to get aroused, but before he could give it a thought, HB broke their kiss softly.

"I know you can feel it, but just ignore it… It's not that I don't want to, you know that I do… I just want to leave it for another moment… I… Don't feel it's right with you hurt the way you are… I mean… I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you because you're injured and feeling lonely"

"Oh, I know you're not" Abe answered pointing to his sensitive hand "But I appreciate it, I also think it's better to leave it for another time…" he said in response "But Red…"


"Just so you know… I'm not saying this as an excuse… I want it too, as much as you do"

They stared at each other sharing a moment of comfortable silence, both with silly smiles on their faces.

"So, will you stay here with me? Let's just lay down in my bed and get some sleep, you look like you could rest a little"

Abe's answer was very simple, he stood up and took Hellboy by the hand, leading them to the bed. Hellboy turned off the lights on his way. When they were both laying down under the covers, HB got closer and embraced Abe from behind. Abe giggled a little.

"What is so funny?" Hellboy teased.

"And they say I can read minds. I think I all needed was to cuddle with you like this to feel better" he admitted

Red gave him a little kiss on the back of Abe's head.

"Anytime, pal" He said in a dreamy way "Anytime…"

And so they fell asleep, hoping they could be in the same dream at the same time so that they wouldn't have to wait until morning to see each other again.

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