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The Straight and Narrow	By : ArizonaIceT Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 1100 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any DC characters involved.

Chapter List
- 1-The Straight and Narrow
- 1
The Riddler had been a criminal for almost half his life now.

Perhaps he wasn’t always in neon green suits, bowler hats, and overly theatrical riddles & games, but Edward Nygma had been on the wrong side of the law for decades now. And honestly…he was rather tired of it.

He didn’t know what changed. It had all used to be so fun. The Spandex, the plots, the intellectual vigor of it all. But that was when Nygma was a younger man. Now at 40, perhaps he was slowing down - not mentally of course. Perhaps it was the last time Batman snapped his tibia, perhaps it was the last time Batman left him hanging off a Gargoyle 15 stories up for hours, or when he threw him through a bus window…or set him on fire. Point was, the costs of his villiany were beginning to outweigh the benefits.

So what did a man with the intellect and manic narcissistic tendencies as The Riddler have to offer the world besides convoluted traps and riddles?
______________________________________________________________________

“World’s Greatest Detective?”

The Riddler sighed. He recognized that catty tone anywhere. He was in the office of his townhouse he owned on the edge of Gotham - a place he could get away and plan that very few knew about. He was at his desk with his back turned, looking through the large window that looked over the Gotham River. He didn’t turn around immediately, instead glancing up, looking at his skylight, now ajar.

“You know Selina, that security system isn’t cheap. It costs money to repair.” The Riddler chided, swiveling in his chair to see Catwoman perched on his desk. She gave him a smirk, moving from the cat-like squat she was in to a seated position, legs hanging off the edge of the desk.

“Bill me.” She replied with a shrug. “Plus, your door was locked.”

“Locked doors are usually a clear sign to people who aren’t kleptomaniacs.”

“Sounds boring. “But I’m not here to talk about the etiquette of breaking and entering.” Catwoman drawled, crossing one long leg over the other “I’m here to talk about rumors of you going to the light.”

“Why, you make it sound so ominous.” Riddler said with a broad smile.

“So it’s true, then?” She pushed

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business, really.” Riddler dismissed. That wasn’t strictly true. He had specifically ensured that the word spread around through henchmen and grunts, up the chain to the cops, bosses and supervillains in the city - he wanted to leave no ambiguity. “But yes, I’m making a career change.”

“To the ‘World’s Greatest Detective’” Catwoman drawled sarcastically. “I think Batman already laid claim to that moniker.”

“An unearned title, I assure you.” Riddle replied briskly. “But I don’t imagine I’ll have much competition from him - I intend to serve the private sector. Turns out the elite, police and those with power in this city, have many uses for a detective who’s less inclined to snap someone’s femurs”

Catwoman pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, she leaned forward, getting in Nygma’s face.

“Alright Eddie, cut the crap.” She said sternly. “What’s your play here?”

The Riddler just arched a ginger eyebrow at the accusing kitty. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. He had expected skepticism, “No play, plan, or scheme Selina. Not that I owe you an explanation, but-”

The Riddler’s words were interrupted by a large thump outside his office door. Catwoman immediately jumped to the ready, perching on the desk, claws out. Riddler opened his top drawer, where he kept a .45 if needed.

“Knock Knock!” came a call from the other side of the door. The Riddler’s eyebrows shot up. Oh no, he didn’t need this right now. He recognized that Brooklyn accent anywhere-

Suddenly the Riddler’s office door burst open, or rather it was kicked completely off its hinges. The Riddler groaned, and put his head on his desk. That was an expensive door. As if invited in, in walked one Harley Quinn in all her glory; chalk white skin, multi colored pigtails, and carrying a rather large mallet over one shoulder. She gave her signature wide grin to Riddler and Catwoman.

“Ooooh, is this a business meetin’ or somethin’? I hope you don’t mind me sittin’ in. Your door was open.”

“No, It wasn’t.” Riddler groaned into his hands. “Is there something you want, Harley?”

Harley cocked a hand on her hip, and sauntered over to the desk, throwing a heeled boot onto it. Selina was on friendly-ish terms with Harley these days, but she still knew to be on her guard. Harley extended her arm, pointing her mallet directly at Nygma’s face.

“I’m here because of this malarkey I’m hearin’ about you going straight.” Harley said loudly. The Riddler pushed Harley’s mallet to the side, and gave her a hard look. He really needed to up his security.
“If Harley thinks it’s crazy, you know it is.” Selina laughed, hopping off the desk

“As flattering as it is that you two all of a sudden have taken an interest in my life, It’s neither of your business. Is Ivy going to pop in as well and voice her opinion - might as well complete the Sirens”

“None of our business?” Harley repeated dramatically before frowning. “Oh contrary!”

“Au contraire.” Riddler corrected.

“That too! But you getting out the game is very much our business, Eddie. I mean, what are we gonna do without ya - you’re messing with our bottom line!”

Ah, there it was. The Riddler had expected as much; that concerns about his reformation weren’t from genuine curiosity or interest. Rather, the void that his absence would leave. As it turned out, overly elaborate schemes and gimmick crimes based around riddles was an expensive hobby. It wasn’t as if they made him any money in most cases, so Nygma had him a little side business. “Outsourcing his intellect” he called it - much like what he was planning to do on the right side of the law, but the criminal element of Gotham had more specific uses for it. An IQ of 180 and a manic attention to detail made him the perfect tactician: bank jobs, long form cons, bypassing security systems both physical and virtual. He was a useful asset for criminals who wanted to pull off the perfect crime. A criminal consultant, a salacious supervisor, or as he simply put it, really good at thinking.

He glanced at Catwoman, who kept a passive face, but he could easily tell she was in agreeance with Harley. Though she’d never admit it, Selina had made use of Nygma’s services from time to time, and she had to admit that the man did stellar work. Some of her biggest scores as of late had been with his assistance. As for Harley - well she used to use his services to get money for surprise gifts for the Joker - dirty bombs, oversized jack in the boxes, things of that nature. Now that they were no longer an…item, Harley’s expenses dropped considerably. She would have The Riddler set her up scores more for the fun of it than anything.

With Riddler’s impending retirement from crime, well that put a wrench into what the two women had become accustomed to. And they weren’t exactly the type who liked having their toys taken away.

“I’m sorry ladies, really,” The Riddler said, not sounding very sorry at all. “But I’ve made up my mind. I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t intend to be dropped off 3 story buildings into my 50s.”

“Oh that’s barely anything.” Harley dismissed flippantly. “I seen Bats drop one of Mistah J’s old goons off a SIX story building, and he was fine! Sure he has a lazy eye and can’t pronounce his P’s, but I really see that as an improvement.”

Riddler gave Harley a rather nonplussed look, but didn’t comment. Selina was mildly amused by Harley’s attempted motivation, but she knew better really. She had been in the game long enough, been a WOMAN long enough to know what proper motivation looked like.

She let a smile spread across her face - it was slight really, mostly showing in her eyes and cheeks, the corners of her plump red lips only just barely ticking upwards. It was enough for Nygma to notice, looking at her lips, before meeting her eyes suspiciously. That was enough to get things started.

“Oh come on Eddie, you're tough. You’ve been in the game so long.” Selina purred in her cat-like fashion. She moved around his desk, making sure to swing her hips with each step, her plump ass jiggling magically under her catsuit. The Riddler watched her as she circumnavigated his desk, walking right up beside him, before casually plopping herself into his lap, drawing her legs up to curl up, as if she was a cat. “Can’t you just stay a little longer - I have some plans that only you can help me with.”

The Riddler kept a passive face at Selina’s cooing, but his eyebrows did tick up a bit. Harley looked on, visibly confused. Catwoman looked at her in her periphery, flashing her eyes expectantly. Harley looked at her in more confusion, and Catwoman basically had to turn her head completely to look at the other woman, raising her eyebrows in a ‘Get with the program’ fashion.

It took a second for Harley’s brain to process the gesture, but once she did, she let out a loud “Oohhh.” in realization, and gave Catwoman a wink - subtly wasn’t her strong suit. But at the moment, they didn’t need subtle. Harley played her part - placing her mallet down and removing her leg from the top of Riddler’s desk; she bent over 90 degrees so that her elbows rested on the wood instead, hands folded innocently under her chin, giving Nygma a perfect view of her cleavage in her top.

“You can’t just leave us Eddie.” Harley said, batting her fake eyelashes. She arched her back to push her chest forward more, her bust already straining in her corset. “What would we do without cha'?

The Riddler almost felt insulted. They thought a man of his heightened intellect could be so easily seduced - laughable. He wasn’t some goon whose tail wagged every time they saw a bitch. Honestly, who the hell were they to try and change his mind - they weren’t friends. Hell, they’ve all double-crossed and tried to kill each other in the past. He had half a mind to, in so many words, tell them to fuck off.

But on the other hand - despite his intellect and powers of observation, he was still a hot-blooded male. He was observant, so he could clearly observe Harley and Selina in their glorious forms.

Catwoman of course was walking sex in her skintight catsuit. This one was leather; Riddler knew she had ones of latex, spandex, and other synthetic materials. Riddler sometimes wondered how she ever got the thing on, over her flaring hips, thick thighs, and large, bubbly, heart shaped ass. And her tits - with her large Double D breasts, he had to imagine the zipper of the skintight suit was akin to Atlas holding up the world. Beyond that, Selina was frankly classically beautiful. Perfectly symmetrical face, fully ever pouty lips, makeup always pristinely done, high cheekbones, the constant hint of a tan and a general air of class and poise, if Riddler hadn’t been very much informed on her upbringing, he’d have thought her to be one of Gotham’s high-born elites.

Harley was on the opposite end of that spectrum. Since her falling out with The Joker, she had ditched her classic red and black jester outfit. Nowadays, she wore a red and black corset - hardly appropriate as a shirt, but who would ever think Harley Quinn cared about what was appropriate. Though her tits weren’t as big as Selina’s they still had ample perkiness to them, made even more apparent with the tightness of the corset giving her stellar lift job - the hints of her areolas could be seen bulging from the top, for those who were paying attention. She wore a pair of matching red and black spandex shorts, but in reality they more resembled underwear. They were so short that most of Harley’s fat, plump ass was on display, constantly jiggling at the slightest of movement. She had on a torn pair of stockings, jackboots, fingerless gloves, and various straps and belts for her devices of malic to round out the outfit. Her makeup was more haphazardly done than her days running with Joker; lipstick, mascara, and overdone red and blue eyeliner applied liberally to her sheet white face. She kept her blonde hair in long pigtails, with red and blue tips at the end. Her new look made her look more like someone who should have been selling pussy by the Gotham pier vs a dangerous supervillain, but Riddler supposed Harley enjoyed that dissonance.

And there they were, presenting themselves for The Riddler - he was hard under his green slacks just looking at them. So Riddler decided to let this play out. They wanted to try and convince him to abandon his plans, he’d let them - he was sure as hell going to make them work for it.

Eyeing them back and forth, he smiled and simply pointed down to the ground in front of his seat and said “Knees.”

Selina pursed her lips a bit and narrowed her eyes at him momentarily. She had HOPED he’d just nut in his pants at the implications - the average man typically did, but it seemed he was set on taking this to its logical conclusions. She internally sighed, and slid off his lap. The Riddler scooted his chair back, allowing Catwoman to kneel down between his legs and his desk. Hardly a new position for her. Catwoman had been pushed into various scenarios where she had to suck some dick: security guards, informants, a politician or rich asshole or two - frankly it came with the territory of being a female villain in Gotham. Harley for her part rather happily skipped around the Riddler’s desk, and knelt next to Catwoman. Harley didn’t mind sucking dick, she liked it even. She had lost track of how many goons and henchman she had sucked off over the years. Hell she had given the taxi driver who dropped her off a quick suck and tug - she didn’t tend to carry cash.

Riddler looked down at the beautiful sight of two of Gotham’s Sirens kneeling at his feet. This could have been a renaissance painting in itself.

“Alrighty.” Riddler smiled, spreading his legs, and showing the bulge in his pants. “Floor is yours. Convince me.”

Catwoman wanted to roll her eyes, but she was in seduction mode, so she batted her eyelashes at him demurely. Seeing no point in dragging this out, she reached for the button of his pants.

“Aht!” Riddler interrupted loudly, earning an arched eyebrow from Selina. “Lose the finger knives.”

That time she couldn’t resist a roll of the eyes as she pulled off her gloves, exposing her hands, before resuming her task. She swiftly undid his button, and drew down the zipper of his fly. She leaned forward on her knees, reaching up to grip the waistband of Riddler’s pants and boxers. Harley leaned in closer, her cheek practically touching Selina’s - she just wanted a better look.

Riddler lifted his hips and allowed Catwoman to pull his pants down in one hard yank.

WHAP

Now, Selina had quick reflexes - cat like if you will. But she could hardly react to a cock slapping her in the forehead. She was stunned momentarily, jerking her head back. Her eyes refocused after a moment and when they did, they went wide at sight before her.

Proudly standing in a dominant fashion, The Riddler’s cock was as rigid as a flag pole, and from where Catwoman and Harley were sitting, might as well have been as big as one. Nygma was a rather lanky man, skinny and tall; hardly an imposing figure. His cock however was another story. Selina had to guess it stood at 11 inches long, and was as thick as her wrist - it was practically the size of her forearm. The tip was purplish and menacing, and a long, thick vein ran up the side and at the base were a pair of over large balls, no doubt full of cum. Selina was in a state of surprised cock shock, but Harley was smiling wildly.

“Jeez Eddie, I ain’t know you were a smuggler too.” She commented, tilting her head to the side as she stared

“You must be part Grundy or something.” Catwoman added, snapping out of her haze, but still staring at his cock with wide eyes.

“Save your quips ladies.” Riddler told them “You’re getting exactly what you wanted - an opportunity to change my mind. Don’t let it go to waste.”

With that, he grabbed the base of his cock, wielding it like a weapon and began to BATTER the faces of the two women kneeling between his legs. The rigid tube of flesh bounced all over Harley and Selina’s pretty features as he brought it down on their faces over and over - cheeks, foreheads, rubbing under their noses, bouncing off and smearing pre-cum against their lips. The two women flinched at the phallic assault, but neither backed down; in for a penny, in for the pound. Riddler kept it up for a few minutes - it was power play more than anything. He certainly felt plenty powerful dragging his nutsack all over Harley’s forehead, and flossing his cocktip across Catwoman’s pouty lips, but it was time for them to be more active participants in this. He stopped beating their faces, looked down at them.

“Well?” He asked with an arched eyebrow and a toothy smile. “Get to work.”

Selina pouted her lips and gave Riddler a pointed look, before glancing over to Harley. The slutty jester just gave her a ‘what can ya do?’ shrug. Selina sighed through her nose and mentally shrugged herself. Well it was better than being cock pummeled.

The two villainesses leaned forward, and got to work as instructed. They started simply enough, licking long stripes up and down the length of his cock, basic dick-sucking etiquette. Harley worked one side, while Harley worked the other, glistening his cock with spit. They had worked together before on various jobs in the city, so Riddler’s dick wasn’t really much different than those experiences. After several passes with their tongues, they began to add their own flair to their dick wetting: Selina pursed her lips, sliding the plump red DSLs back and forth Riddler’s length - Harley spat on his cock, before giving patches of skin, long hard sucks and kisses. The two women then moved to work his pole at opposite ends. Harley sucked Riddler’s large cock tip between her lips, swirling her tongue around his glans and applying light suction. Selina drew the proverbial short straw and was left to service Riddler’s swollen balls, lavishing them with her tongue, nuzzling her face into them, and trying to suck both into her mouth at once.

Nygma was of course in heaven. The most expensive Gotham whores - and he definitely had indulged in them - couldn’t compare. But he wasn’t going to be satisfied letting them act on their own accord.

“Stop.” He demanded simply. Selina and Harley gave him confused, but detached their lips from his cock. He stood from his chair and pushed it aside before letting his pants fall down completely and stepping out of them, leaving him completely exposed from the waist down. “I’ve got a riddle for you two.”

“Really, now?” Catwoman asked with a bit of chagrin. Most men could barely remember their own names when she used her mouth on them, and here he was thinking of riddles “You really have a one track mind.”

“Oh believe me, it’s relevant.” Riddler smiled. “Now, let’s begin - you’ll both get a chance to answer. So riddle me this- What word in the English language does the following: the first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, the first five letter signify something hard to let go, while the entire word signifies a great woman. What is the word?”

Harley pondered for a moment with her finger on her chin, before perking up excitedly.

“What is a Hydrofoil?”

The Riddler gave Harley an exasperated look. “That your final answer?”

Harley just nodded her head. Rolling his eyes, he looked at Catwoman. “Chance to steal.”

She decided to humor him on this, and thought for a moment. Assuming that a hospital wasn’t going to blow up if she got it wrong, she threw out her best guess.

“The word is Heroine”

“Ding ding ding!” Riddler smiled. “We have a winner!”

“I don’t get it.” Harley said with a tilt of her head.

“Doesn’t matter now. As the loser, you get a penalty.” Riddler stated, slightly to face her fully, cock swaying as he did.

‘ Penalty?’ Catwoman thought?

“Heroine? Heroine…heroine. He-ro-ine.” Harley repeated, trying to wrap her head around the riddle. “Hero- Oh! Now I get- HRRRUCK?!

Harley’s realization was cut off abruptly by Riddler grabbing hold of her pigtails like they were handlebars. He yanked her forward mid-word, and with a perfectly timed thrust of his hips speared 8 inches of his cock into Harley’s throat.

“Grrrcck..” Harley gagged wetly, eyes going wide to the sudden intrusion. She beat her fist against Riddler’s thighs trying to pull back, but he simply held her firm by her pigtails. He briefly glanced at Selina’s shocked expression beside them, who was now thankful she took his little riddle slightly more seriously than Harley. He slowly drew his hips back, extracting himself from Harley’s throat. He brought his cock back all the way until the tip was only just nestled between Harley’s lips - she thought for a moment he was showing her a bit of mercy, but she was proven to be gravely wrong then he thrust his hips forward while pulling her head into his lap, shunting all 11 inches of his fuckstick into her gullet.

“HRUUUCLK!” She retched, tears immediately coming to the corners of her eyes, running down her face bringing black trails of her eyeliner with it. The Riddler began to rock his hips back and forth in short thrusts, treating Harley’s mouth like a pussy and fucking it with hard, rapid, strokes

“GLRURK… GLLLARCK… GLUUURCK… GRURK… GLLACK” Harley gagged and sputtered as her mouth was pistoned out of. She continued to beat and smack against Riddler’s thighs on instinct, but to little effect as her throat was forced to stretch and accommodate Riddler’s length and girth.

“Jeez Nygma.” Catwoman finally spoke up, watching Riddler’s cock disappear and reappear between Harley’s ruby lips. She swore she could see the outline of his dick through Harley’s throat. “You don’t have to be so rough with her.”

Riddler gives her a bit of a pointed look, before telling her, “You know, for someone trying to change my mind, you’re not very persuasive.” Almost as if a collective punishment for speaking out of turn, Riddler pulled Harley all the way down his length so that she was sheathed to the ball in her throat, and held her there. She let out a muffled shriek, and retched wildly, spit shooting from the corners of her mouth and rolling down her chin.

“Make yourself useful and get this bitch under control.” He told Catwoman, referring to Harley’s insistent slapping and clawing at his thighs. Catwoman hesitated a moment, giving him a glare as she didnt very much like being told what to do. But she did need his help with her next big score - she gave Harley a bit of an apologetic look before shuffling on her knees behind the gagging clown.

“Sorry Harls.” She said, before grabbing Harley’s arms, and wrestling them behind her back, holding her wrists together like a cop making an arrest would.

With no kind of defense, and Catwoman holding her in place, Harley could only gag and choke as her airway was blocked by Riddler’s rod. He just continued to hold her head down in place, and slowly her struggles became less and less, her gags and heaving dying down. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she went limp in Nygma’s and Selina’s grasps.

With Harley essentially a rag doll in his hands now, he began to fuck her mouth again, but instead of moving his hips he kept them stationary, moving Harley’s head instead. He bobbed her head up and down his cock, essentially treating her face and throat like a fleshlight. She offered no resistance or real signs of consciousness besides the occasional twitch of an eyelid, and the fact that her lips were making an instinctual vacuum seal around Riddler’s prick, leaving stains of her red lipstick like markers

“HRUCK…HRUCCLK..HHRUCK…HRACKK ” Came from her throat as Riddler sawed in and out of it. Her face was a mess of tears, drool, smeared lipstick, ran mascara and eyeliner, and even one of Harley’s stick on eyelashes had become unstuck, rolling down and sticking to her upper cheek. Spit bubbles formed and popped in her nose as her sinuses were overrun by her own saliva.

In short, The Riddler was having an absolute blast. But he didn’t want the fun to end just yet, so with much reluctance, he shunted himself in her throat one more time before pulling her back and pushing her off his cock, his member sliding out form between her lips with a loud ‘SLLRROP’

A line of spit connected Harley’s wet lips and his cock for a moment, before her head fell forwards, unresponsive. Selina became worried after Harley didn’t move after a few moments, and began to shake her.

“Harley? Harls! Talk to me girl.” She said, shaking her shoulders, which only served to bobble her head like a toy.

“Oh relax.” Riddler told her. “She’s fine. Look, hold her head up.”

Catwoman did as instructed, Resting Harley’s back against her own chest, Selina reached a hand under Harley’s chin, and tilted her head upright. Riddler daintily removed his purple gloves from his hands, and cracked his fingers. Then he reached out, and smacked Harley hard across the face, whipping her head to the side.

“Nygma!” Catwoman began to chastise angrily, before she heard Harley make a loud gasp. The clown coughed a few times, and blinked her eyes, consciousness slowly returning to her mad mind.

“See. Fine.” Riddler said with a self satisfied smirk.

“Harley, you okay babe?” Selina asked, rubbing Harley’s back a bit. Harley coughed and gasped a few more times, before turning her head to face Catwoman’s. Her face was an absolute wreck of makeup, spit and general abuse. And yet, she had her signature deranged smile on full display.

“Never better,” She croaked earnestly. Selina sighed - she had been worried for nothing.

“Should’ve known you’d be a grade-A painslut.” Selina chided

“Guilty as charged.” Harley beamed back. She looked up at Riddler, eyes big in a mix of her general look of wonderment, and open arousal. “Got another slap in ya?”

Riddler looked down at her for a moment, and then shrugged. Reaching out and slapping Harley across her other cheek.

“Eheheeh!” Harley squealed, enjoying the rough treatment. Catwoman mused that she would have to introduce Harley to a non-toxic relationship one of these days.

“Now give her one!” Harley said, pointing at Catwoman, whose eyebrows shot up.

“Now wait a minute-” She began, only to have Riddler’s palm crack against her face, making her see stars. Harley squealed in excitement again. Catwoman pursed her lips and worked her jaw back and forth a few times. She really, REALLY wanted to do this score, she reminded herself.

“Alright, enough chatting.” Nygma announced. “I’ve got another Riddle.”

“Goodie.” Selina drawled, but she was feeling rather confident after her success the first time around. Harley just smiled brightly, nodding her head emphatically.

“Riddle me this… A house with two occupants, sometimes one, rarely three. Break the walls, eat the borders, then throw me away. What am I?”

Catwoman’s confidence quickly evaporated. She was an intelligent woman, but she was finding herself stumped. Riddler looked down expectantly for an answer, as she tried not to give away her confusion.

“Well?” He asked, smirking down at her.

“Erm…”

“A peanut.”

Catwoman and the Riddler’s head snapped to Harley, who was looking at them innocently.

“That is correct.” Riddler told her, causing her to preen.

“Okay, now how the hell did you know that?” Catwoman questioned with narrowed eyes.

“I hang around Ivy all the time. Makes sense that I’d pick up on nature themed riddles.” Harley shrugged”

Catwoman didn’t actually think that made much sense.

“What, ya aint get it?” Harley said with a rather smug look on her face.

“I’m have a peanut allergy, so I don’t exactly think of them-”

Growing bored of their bickering, Riddler reached out and gave them dual slaps across the faces, sending them silent.
“Enough chatter. Time to dole out consequences. Harley, since you guessed right, you get to keep sucking my dick.”

“Aye Aye!” Harley saluted.

“As for you - well Selina since Harley will be busy up front, seems like you’ll have to take the back entrance.”

Selina furrowed her brow in confusion at that, eyes scanning Riddler’s face. He said nothing, simply looking back at her with a smug smirk. Harley on the other hand was wearing a wide grin, looking as if she was about to combust into giggles.

And that’s when it dawned on her what he meant.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” She cried. “There’s no way you expect me to…to-”

“Toss his salad?” Harley added unhelpfully. “Kiss his south mouth? Schvitzin the Keister?”

“Harley, shut the fuck up!” Catwoman seethed, before looking at Riddler, who just continued to smile. “No. Nuh uh. No way.”

“I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that this is a negotiation” Riddler commented dryly.

“Come on Kitty, take one for the team!” Harley chided. The jester was already back in front of Riddler, stroking his wet cock steadily. “It’s not like you ain't done it before.”

Selina bared her teeth at Harley. While that was true, it wasn’t like Harley KNEW that. Selina once again weighed her options - her pride and dignity vs the basic assurance of a job going off without a hitch. Selina didn’t love getting bossed around and humiliated…but she also loved large shiny rocks.

In the end, the large shiny rocks won out.

With a grimace on her face, Selina shuffled sound to Riddler’s backside. She took some solace in the fact that someone with such a severe case as OCD as the Riddler, she was certain he kept himself clinically clean. In fact she just noticed that he was completely hairless below the eyelashes. She grabbed his rather flat asscheeks, and spread them apart, revealing his off-white asshole. She wondered if they went to the laser hair removal and anal bleaching place, because the Riddler’s bottom was almost as pristine and well maintained as hers. She steeled herself for a moment, a moment to push her dignity away even more and resigning to her fate. She stood on her knees so that she could reach her ultimate destination, and dove tongue first between the Riddler’s ass.

She was once again thankful that his nature kept him clean, only tasting the salty ting of sweat from his day. She prodded his back door with her tongue a bit, circling the circumference of it, before leaning forward and pressing her lips firmly to the hole.

Upfront, Harley was back to work on Riddler's cock. He offered her more control this time around - he planted a hand on the top of her head, only giving Harley slight encouragement but otherwise letting her set the pace and technique, slurping away loudly and without complaint, sucking about half of him into her mouth while her hand worked the rest.

Catwoman’s tongue burrowed itself into the warmth of Riddler’s ass, wiggling around and prodding. Despite the debasement of it all, she was putting in a rather valiant effort - she wasn’t one to half ass anything she did, even if it happened to be ass eating. Her tongues and lips moved with pleasure in mind, licking, sucking, kissing and all around stimulating The Riddler the best she could. Harley pulled off his cock for a moment, looking around his hips to see Catwoman’s ministrations.

“Jeez, you’d think his balloon knot was sprinkled with Catnip or something.” Harley teased.

“MPHMHP HMHPHHM!” Catwoman replied hotly, meaning a bit lost with her mouthful of scrotum.

“What was that?” Harley asked, cupping her eat.

Catwoman pulled back briefly, her lips sheening with her own spit. “I said, shut up, and swallow his dick, bitch.”

“Only if you get back to munching on his ham hole, cunt”

The Riddler decided to intercede, gripping Harley’s hair, and reaching back and placing his hand on top of Selina’s cowl, he pulled them back to their respective responsibilities. There were things that Edward Nygma never thought would happen in his life. At the top of the list was beating Superman in a fist fight, but getting a simultaneous blow and rimjob from two of Gotham’s sexiest sluts. This was his little slice of heaven - domineering two bitches who he knew always looked down on him, considered him a b-lister. And know, here they were, cock buried in one’s throat, while the other was nose deep in his ass.

But he wouldn’t be satisfied with just this - it was time for the crescendo.

He unceremoniously pushed both women off of him, before yanking Harley up by her hair, and Catwoman up by her bicep.

“Hey!” Catwoman frowned. “Watch the merchandise. I’m-”

Riddler’s hand once again cracked against Catwoman’s face. She bit her lip, hating how used to the rough treatment she was getting. Harley pouted, and pointed to her chin, wanting a slap as well. Riddler was happy to oblige, smacking her in the face and nearly sending her to the floor.

“Strip.” He said simply and firmly. “Both you sluts have had your clothes on for too long.”

“Such a charmer.” Catwoman said facetious, but obeyed swiftly. This was the natural culmination of all of this after all. Selina grabbed the zipper at the top of her collar, and slowly drew it downward. The material split, and her cleavage came into view, straining against the material. Harley was beside her, shucking off her corset, tits bouncing free, and pushing her shorts down her legs. Riddler watched with a large grin on his face as the two women stripped for him. In a matter of moments, the two women were completely naked, aside from their boots, and Selina’s signature cat-ear cowl.

Nygma wasted no time, pulling the two women close, hands going all over their bodies, hands digging into their tit and as flesh, groping, pinching, smacking. He was like a boy in a candy store, if the candy was fat asses and huge tits. He played with them a bit longer, before deciding to move on. He bent over, and quickly cleared his desk with a large swipe, sending papers and such to the floor.

“So, how do ya want-” Harley began to ask, before Riddler cut her off. He grabbed her by her neck, and threw her onto the now clear desk, back first. She landed with a thud, and before she could get up, Catwoman quickly joined her, being pushed face first onto the clown, tits smacking together. Riddler adjusted them like mannequins until they were in his desired position: they laid on his desk, Catwoman laying atop of Harley, chest to chest. Their double stack of thighs were spread apart to the edges of the desk, giving Riddler unblocked access to their openings - a double decker slut. Catwoman squirmed a bit, trying to get a bit more comfortable, but all that did was rub the pair’s tits and cunts together.

Riddler gave Catwoman’s ass a hard spank, causing her thick bottom to wobble and shake - Harley could feel the reverberations transfer down to her a bit.

“Quit moving.” Riddler told her. “This time’s gonna be a little different. No riddles, just a game of chance.”

“Don’t let Two-Face hear you stole his gimmick.” Harley snarked, which earned her a slap to the inside of her thigh. An evil looking smile spread over Riddler’s face, which made the two of them a tad nervous.

“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” The Riddler began to say in a slow, sing-song voice. “Catch a Batman by his toe. If he holler, break them all-”

“Hey, that didn't rhyme.” Harley pointed out.

“Eeney…meeny…miny…YOU.”

Neither Harley or Catwoman could see Riddler from their positions, so they didn’t know who he had picked until he stepped forward and sank his finger into Selina’s plump ass flesh. Catwoman gasped a bit, and readied herself, expecting him to drive forward into her pussy - The Riddler had other ideas. He spread her asscheeks apart, giving him the perfect view of asshole. He gave no word or forewarning before pressing the head of his cock to her rosebud, and pushing forward. Selina’s head shot up, and her eyes went wide as Riddler’s tip began to spear her asshole.

“W-what are you-” She began, trying to push herself up. Suddenly, Harley’s arms wrapped around her, pulling Catwoman back down to her chest and pinning the struggling woman’s arms to her sides.

“No, bad kitty.” Harley told her, holding her tight. Catwoman gave Harley a confused, betrayed look, but didn’t dwell on that too much longer as Riddler’s cock began to stretch her ass. She thrashed and squirmed to little effect, as Nygma slowly continued to sink into the heat of her ass. The Riddler didn’t particularly care about foreplay, and the only lubrication to be found was Harley’s residual spit from her blowjob - it was rough going for Catwoman. She grit her teeth to keep from screaming out. It was hardly her first time doing anal, but it was her first time taking a dick that could be aptly described as a third leg. She continued to struggle a bit, but Harley held her tight, and her energy was diminishing. After a few more useless efforts to get herself uncoupled, she went still, trying to conserve energy to manage the cock currently invading her bowels. This proved to be the wrong move, as Riddler grabbed her hips firmly, and thrust forward brutally, shunting himself to the balls in her ass.

Catwoman’s mouth formed a perfect ‘O’, much like her ass was doing at the moment. She tried to shriek, but the only thing that came out was a rather pathetic whine as she felt fuller than she ever thought was possible. Riddler gave her no time to get used to the violation or to adjust, before he began to draw his hips back - Catwoman’s natural tightness only allowed him to pull out a few inches, before thrusting back into her roughly. He set a rather brutal pace, hips slapping against Selina’s ass loudly with each thrust, sawing in and out of her ass. His thrusts shook his whole desk, and Harley really had to try and keep Catwoman in place, Harley swore he was gonna fuck them right off the table.

“Tease me…*huff…*, all these. *huff…*, years. Now…*huff huff*, look at you. Fat ass wrapped around my - fuck…COCK.” Riddler grunted as he drilled into Selina’s ass. She of course couldn’t respond. She just made strangled whimpers and groans, mouth hanging open, eyes nearly crossed as her body and mind were completely over stimulated. She barely knew where she was, the whole world melted away - all she knew is her ass was being stretched over and over, and that her whole body was on fire. Riddler leaned forward more, basically hunching over to grip Selina’s shoulders for leverage, and ram into her even fiercer with rapid, hard thrusts. Her reaming went on for 20 minutes, Riddler never slowing his pace. He crisscrossed her ass with harsh spanks and rode her hard, decades of pent up frustration and lust for the sexy cat burglar. All Selina could do was take it - a hard ass pounding with no line of defense. It was too much, her whole body was buzzing, and her mind was turning to a soft doubt mush.

She began to spasm, and much to Riddler’s surprise, her asshole became even tighter and clenched around him in a vice grip. She let out a sound akin to that of a wail as she shook, an involuntary orgasm being ripped out of her. Harley felt Catwoman’s cunt leak on her, and laughed.

“I always knew you were a buttslut!”

Selina's only response was her tongue lolling out of her mouth, and her eyes rolling into her head.

Riddler thought she might have squeezed him to death if he stayed in her much longer, so with much reluctance, and even more effort to escape the vice of her ass, he drew his hips back and pulled out. Catwoman laid limply atop of Harley - passed out, ass gaping, sweat covering her body. Harley poked her cheek, which only got an unintelligible mumble from her.

“Your turn.” Riddler said, cock bobbing in the air menacingly. Harley craned her neck to look at him over Catwoman’s slumped form. She eyed his cock nervously, and a crooked smile spread onto her face.

“Hey Eddie…” She began a bit sheepishly “I figured since I helped hold her down, we can go easy on lil ol’ me? How about a nice titjob? Whadaya say?”

The Riddler responded by ramming his cock into Harley’s ass.

Harley hadn’t particularly been thinking ahead in her assistance of Catwoman’s anal fucking. Now the passed put feline of a woman laid atop of her, pinning her down and not giving Harley anywhere to go - that made it easy for Riddler to snatch up her legs and drive into her.

While Catwoman was rendered incomprehensible by Riddler’s hard dicking, Harley was rather vocal, spitting and wailing out a string of creative curses as Nygma ass-fucked her.

“FUCK -FUCK! FUVKING CUNTING FAT COCKED MOTHERFUCKER!”

“NOT SO HARD! IT’S LIKE I’M GETTING ASS-FCUKED BY A PRINGLE CAN!”

“I’M GONNE FUCKING CUM - FUCKITY FUCK FUUUUUUUCK-”`

When Riddler’s own orgasm finally came he pulled out, painting Catwoman’ and Harley’ exposed cunts with his cum. They pair of villains turned damsels laid atop of each other his desk, a heap of sweaty, fucked out flesh. Now finding himself exhausted, she walked over and slumped into his chair, cock finally softening.
“By the way, I’m still not changing my mind.” He said after a moment. He never intended to. It wasn’t like Harley or Selina could actually hear him, but he kept talking anyway.

“No, the road ahead of me is clear as day…but I could always use some passengers.
____________________________________________________________________________

2 Months later

“And you see, Mr. Riddler-”

“Please, call me Edward.”

Edward Nygma sat comfortably at his desk, on the top floor of a highrise in downtown Gotham. It had only been a few months in his private detective gig, and he was already making a killing, and he wasn’t being dangled off of buildings anymore - much. On the other side of his desk sat Willaim Filmore - Head of Filmore Industries, a construction company.

“Erm, right - Well you see, Mr. Edward, My daughter, she’s been gone for a week now! I just want-

“She’s in Metropolis.” Nygma sighed, sounding a bit bored Filmore’s eyebrows shot up in confusion “She’s with her boyfriend - they plan on getting married.”

“T-that’s preposterous! My darling Cindy doesn’t even have a boyfriend-”

“Not one that you’d approve of, no.” Nygma commented dryly. He took out a sheet of paper and a pen, and began to write. “Here’s her address, Her new phone number - she disconnected the one connected to your plan, here’s the date and address of the wedding.

Fillmore’s eyes were wide and he looked as if he might have a stroke.

The door to Nygma’s office opened, and in walked the distinct clicks of 2 pairs of heels. He looked up from his paper and smiled.

“Ah, perfect timing as always. Ms. Kyle. Ms. Quinzel, I was just finishing up here.”

In front of him stood his two secretaries, the villains formerly known as Catwoman and Harley Quinn. They both wore tight pencil skirts, simple white buttons up with the buttons done halfway down, a pair of glasses, and high heels. After their romp with the Riddler, they figured if they couldn’t beat him, they’d join him.

“Harley, please take Mr. Fillmore here back into the waiting room and process his payment.”

“Aye Aye.” She chirped happily. “Come on Mr. Filly, make sure to grab ya checkbook.”
Harley assisted the still stunned and red-faced man out of his chair and out of the office. Selina walked over to Riddler’s desk, sitting on the edge of it, tablet in hand.

“So, what next?” She asked, crossing one leg over the other. Riddler casually grabbed one of her thick things, fingers sinking into their softness. Selina made no move to remove his hand, in fact, she smiled a bit.

“Something interesting, PLEASE.” He complained.

“Well there’s a new supervillain in town. Something Pachyderm related. GCPD wants his identity.”

“Hmmmmm could be interesting. We’ll discuss it after lunch. But before-”

Selina sighed, knowing what time it was. She slid off the desk, and kneeled between Riddler’s legs.

He sat back, hands on his head in relaxation as Selina undid the button to his pants.
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The Straight and Narrow