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ROSE: EDUCATE/EMBARRASS JOHN	By : CarcinoGeneticist Category: Web Comics > Homestuck Views: 3943 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, or any of the characters within, and I make no money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 1-ROSE: EDUCATE/EMBARRASS JOHN
- 1
Written for a prompt from the kink meme at homesmut, the livejournal Adult fan-community for Homestuck. Enjoy.

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ROSE: EDUCATE/EMBARRASS JOHN

--ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]--

GT: bluh.
TT: Why hello and good evening to you too, John.
GT: hey.
TT: I must profess my curiosity regarding the lateness of your return to the cyber world.
TT: You’re usually here informing me of the day’s mundane events hours earlier.
TT: Any less and I wouldn’t have thought to make note of it, but we humans are nothing if not creatures of habit.
TT: Thus deviation from the routine implies the unexpected and the particularly interesting.
TT: And your less than enthusiastic greeting suggests the unpleasant as well.
GT: geez you’re good.
GT: you could seriously pass for a psychic.
GT: like, that’s legitimately scary how you do that.
TT: I must make at least some effort to live up to my reputation now and then.
TT: But let us pretend for a moment that I am not imitating a spook or a psychic.
TT: And that instead I am merely a properly concerned friend.
GT: oh, it’s fine, i’m fine, don’t get all worried or anything like that.
GT: i just need to relax and zone out for a while.
TT: Very well.
TT: Curiosity remains alive and well, however.
GT: i don’t wanna talk about it.
TT: Really?
TT: Color my curiosity piqued even further, then.
TT: You’ve never been unwilling to talk before.
GT: it’s nothing.
TT: John.
TT: You’re a terrible liar.
TT: Even over the internet.
TT: The degree to which you are bad at lying is quite staggering, actually.
GT: really, it’s nothing!
GT: i just got in trouble for...something.
TT: Trouble?
TT: Of the legal or the parental sort?
GT: i don’t wanna talk about it!
TT: I see.
TT: Would you prefer if I left you alone to your misery, then?
GT: bluh, no…
GT: sorry, i know you’re just worried…
GT: it’s just really embarrassing.
GT: and talking about it with you would be like…
GT: embarrassing squared.
TT: Me?
GT: yeah.
TT: And what makes me so special?
GT: cuz, y’know.
GT: you’re a girl.
TT: I see.
TT: The possibilities are rapidly shrinking now.
TT: But I’ll be nice and let you tell me yourself before I mortify you further by deducing.
TT: What would embarrass you to talk to a close personal friend about merely because of her ovaries?
GT: you’ll think i’m gross if i say it!
TT: John, I feel I must reiterate my point that we are very good friends.
TT: That won’t change because of an embarrassing story or two.
GT: easy for you to say.
GT: you’re not the one being needled.
TT: Very well. Would you feel more at ease if I shared an embarrassing story first?
GT: …uh.
GT: i dunno.
GT: maybe?
GT: i didn’t think you had any embarrassing stories.
TT: I assure you I do.
TT: If I share first, will you promise to talk to me?
TT: I will promise in return not to share the details with anyone else.
GT: well…
GT: i guess that’d be okay…
TT: You promise, then?
GT: *siiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
GT: okay, okay, i promise.
GT: so what’s your embarrassing story?
GT: it better be good and tease-worthy!
TT: My mother introduced me to sex education at age eleven.
TT: She did so by purchasing a pornographic film and forcing me to sit there and watch it.
TT: From beginning to end.
TT: With her.
TT: It was quite possibly the most horrific moment of my life.
GT: gah!
GT: eww, rose, that’s so gross!
GT: why would you tell me that?!
TT: It was an embarrassing moment, as we agreed.
TT: It was only after thorough research on the subject and many hours of self-experimenting that the idea of sex didn’t absolutely disgust me.
GT: aaaaaaahhhh rose you don’t have to tell me THAT stuff!!
TT: Pardon?
GT: i didn’t mean you had to tell me really private…y’know…private things…!
TT: I’m not sure I follow.
GT: ah, jeez…
TT: Are you saying my story is far more embarrassing than yours?
GT: oh jeez, yeah.
GT: yours is WAY worse.
TT: Then what are you so afraid of?
GT: i just…uh.
TT: Yes?
GT: man…
GT: you swear you won’t tell anyone?
TT: Not a soul will know this conversation took place except you and I.
GT: okay…
GT: see…
GT: um.
TT: I can practically HEAR you blushing.
GT: well it’s still embarrassing!
GT: gah okay fine!
GT: i had a nudie magazine and my dad caught me looking at it okay?!
TT: …is that all?
GT: well…
GT: man…
GT: okay, so…maybe I wasn’t JUST looking at it…
TT: Yes, I got the implication.
TT: Is that really it?
GT: …uh.
GT: i…guess so?
GT: i mean, i got in trouble and stuff and dad took away the magazine and lectured me for a while.
GT: and that’s why i was late.
GT: and uh…yeah, i guess that’s the whole story.
TT: Ugh.
GT: see, i told you it was gross.
TT: Oh, no, John, my disgust wasn’t directed at you.
GT: huh?
TT: I can’t believe your dad punished you for masturbating.
GT: gah!
TT: What?
GT: don’t say that!
TT: Why not?
TT: That’s what you were doing, right? You were masturbating?
TT: And your dad punished you for it?
GT: aaaahhhh quit saying it!
TT: Why?
GT: because!
GT: it’s…gross!
GT: and wrong!
TT: Oh dear.
TT: It’s already setting in.
GT: huh?
GT: what are you talking about?
TT: The paranoia. The fear. The self-disgust and shame.
TT: It’s a common parenting pitfall.
GT: um…i think you lost me, rose…
TT: I’m hoping that’s not the case. Perhaps I can still salvage your dignity.
TT: John, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully.
GT: o…kay…?
TT: Whatever your dad may have lectured at you about how shameful or improper masturbation is, he’s wrong.
TT: It is completely okay to feel physical attraction to the human body, whether clothed or unclothed.
TT: And there is absolutely nothing at all that is wrong, gross, bad, or unnatural about masturbating.
GT: …really?
TT: Yes, really.
TT: Everybody masturbates, John. And I do mean literally everybody.
TT: You, me, our friends, our parents, complete strangers we’ve never met, even some species of animals.
TT: Everybody has masturbated at least at some point in their life.
TT: If they insist otherwise they either haven’t discovered it yet, or they are lying.
GT: oh.
GT: wow.
GT: everybody?
TT: Everybody.
TT: It’s a completely and one hundred percent natural urge. Especially at our current ages where we are discovering sexuality.
TT: But because it’s a form of sexual satisfaction it has been historically suppressed and demonized as something foul and punishable.
TT: Parents will tend to discipline their children for partaking in what they see as a lewd and indecent activity, while ignoring the fact that they themselves have at some point done so and most likely still do.
GT: wow.
GT: i had no idea.
TT: Admittedly neither did I, until a while after my mother’s attempt at sex education.
TT: Like I said, I’ve spent a long time researching the subject and self-experimenting.
GT: self-experimenting?
GT: you mean, you…um…
GT: when you say everybody does it, that includes, uh…
TT: Go ahead, John. Ask what you want to ask.
GT: guh.
GT: jeez…
GT: are you saying you…um…
GT: masturbate?
TT: Of course I masturbate, John.
GT: oh.
GT: oh wow.
GT: uhm. wow.
TT: Is that surprising?
GT: well…yeah, a little!
GT: i can’t really picture you doing something like that.
GT: but you did say everybody, so…
GT: i guess the surprising part is that you can say it so…easily!
TT: Well, I must confess, I wouldn’t discuss such a thing with just anyone.
TT: And certainly not in public.
GT: oh jeez, yeah, no way…!
TT: But in confidence and privacy, with someone I trust, I’m comfortable with sharing.
GT: oh.
GT: that’s kind of an honor then, heh.
GT: so…how, uh…
GT: I mean…
TT: Yes?
TT: I am an open book tonight, John, you can ask me anything you want and I will answer truthfully.
TT: Trust me, you need the education.
GT: oh.
GT: heh.
GT: well, uh, okay, in that case.
GT: how do girls do it?
TT: Masturbate?
GT: um, yeah.
GT: it’s gotta be pretty different, just because of different parts and stuff, right?
TT: Were there no pictures of girls masturbating in your magazine?
GT: um…no, not really.
TT: Well, you are at least familiar with the general anatomy, correct?
GT: uh…sort of?
GT: i mean…
GT: the girls just sorta posed normally in the pictures.
GT: it never showed, like, really close up down there or anything.
GT: just like…a little line.
GT: and sometimes some hair.
GT: dave said it’s because playboy is really tame and i don’t need the ‘heavy stuff’ yet.
TT: Ah. Dave. Of course. I assume the magazine came from him.
GT: …maybe.
TT: We’ll graciously ignore that detail.
GT: yes, let’s.
TT: So then if I were to throw certain key terms at you such as “labia” or “clitoris,” I assume I would receive a blank stare and a few choice monosyllabic expressions of ignorance.
GT: …uh…
TT: I thought so.
TT: Hmm.
GT: what is it?
TT: I’m trying to think of a good way to explain this, as your magazine was uninformative, and thieved from you besides.
TT: I don’t suppose your internet is of free use to you as far as websites of an adult nature?
GT: uh.
GT: no, definitely not.
GT: parental blocks.
TT: Naturally.
TT: Hmm.
GT: it’s okay if it’s too embarrassing for you…
GT: guh, sorry, i shouldn’t have even asked…
TT: No, you’re more than welcome to ask.
TT: I’m glad you’re asking, really, asking questions is the path to enlightenment.
TT: I’m just not sure I can answer adequately by merely describing the process to you with anatomy you’re entirely unfamiliar with.
GT: oh.
GT: uh, I guess that makes sense.
TT: Well.
TT: I suppose there is one way.
TT: A bit of a potentially disastrous one, but it seems we don’t have a lot of options at the moment.
TT: So this way will have to do.
GT: okay…and, uh, what is it?
TT: Before I answer, I feel compelled to remind you that the entirety of this correspondence is sworn to secrecy between us.
GT: yeah, yeah, of course.
GT: totally secret.
GT: why’d you feel like you had to say that again?
TT: Because I’m about to give you an idea of exactly how much I trust you not to break our promise.
--tentacleTherapist [TT] invited ghostlyTrickster [GT] to video chat--
GT: huh?
GT: i don’t get it.
TT: Accept the invitation.
GT: my webcam isn’t even on though.
TT: It doesn’t need to be.
GT: um.
GT: okay, if you say so.
GT: clicking accept…
--ghostlyTrickster [GT] is now in video chat--
--tentacleTherapist [TT] is now in video chat--
GT: okay, now what?
GT: wait.
GT: what…
GT: OH GOD!
GT: rose is that you?!
TT: Yes.
GT: why are you naked?!
TT: Because you asked.
GT: i didn’t ask you to get naked!
TT: No, you asked how girls masturbate.
TT: As it happens, in my particular case, I prefer to masturbate naked.
GT: oh god…
GT: i shouldn’t be watching this!
GT: this has gotta be illegal or something!
TT: John.
TT: Calm. Down.
TT: Take a deep breath, all the way in and all the way out, and remember what I told you.
TT: It is perfectly natural to masturbate.
GT: but i can see you!
GT: i can see…ALL of you!
GT: i’m practically spying on you!
TT: Correction.
TT: I have expressly invited and allowed you to see me.
TT: You would be right about this being a bad thing to do if you were indeed spying on me without my knowledge or permission.
TT: However since I have given my very thorough consent, you are welcome to look as much as you like.
TT: And you should by no means feel guilt or shame in doing so.
GT: i shouldn’t?
TT: Correct. This is a crucial concept, John. The idea of consent.
TT: Between consenting individuals, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
GT: so…i can really…look at you? like this?
GT: because you’re okay with it?
GT: and it’s totally not bad at all?
TT: Correct again. Now you’re getting it.
GT: okay…
GT: okay, i think i understand…
TT: So then, what do you see?
TT: Be as honest as you can, don’t be afraid.
GT: um…
GT: i see…
GT: wow.
GT: i see a really, really pretty girl that’s totally letting me see her naked and it’s really exciting.
TT: Pretty?
TT: You think I’m pretty?
GT: well…
GT: you said to be honest, right?
TT: I did, yes. Forgive me, you took me off guard for a moment.
GT: oh, jeez, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean anything by it…
TT: Don’t apologize.
TT: Your initial shock led me to incorrectly color my expectations.
TT: I’m actually quite flattered.
TT: Thank you, John, that makes this significantly easier.
GT: heh….you’re welcome.
TT: Now, returning to the point, I believe you asked about girls and masturbation.
GT: oh, yeah.
GT: um, wow.
GT: are you really gonna show me how you….y’know…do it?
GT: rose?
GT: why’re you moving the camera down?
GT: oh.
GT: OH.
GT: oh jeez.
GT: oh man.
GT: oh jeez.
TT: I trust this view is a bit more informative regarding female anatomy.
GT: jesus yes.
GT: it’s so…pink.
GT: I had no idea it looked like that when you open your legs up.
GT: no wonder you do this naked.
TT: Yes, many features of the vagina tend to be hidden when standing upright.
GT: and you don’t have as much hair around it as those girls in the magazine.
TT: They’ve had more time to grow than I.
TT: But that isn’t the relevant part.
TT: The exact mechanics of masturbating can vary from one woman to another, so I can only demonstrate my own preferences.
TT: I prefer to stroke around the outer labia for a little while first.
TT: This part here that looks a bit like lips, just on the edge of the vaginal opening.
GT: holy god, rose.
GT: please keep going.
GT: rose?
TT: Sorry. Typing one handed is decidedly slower.
GT: that’s okay.
TT: As stimulation begins to build I move toward the inner labia.
TT: The vagina’s natural reaction to this sort of stimulation is to produce a fluid lining to act as a lubricant in preparation for receiving what it expects is a male penis.
GT: oh jeez, really?
GT: that’s where the boy is supposed to put his…?
TT: Yes.
TT: In this exercise however, my fingers will substitute.
GT: oh man…
GT: rose you look incredible like this.
GT: wow, that….wow, that’s a lot of….um….lubricant.
GT: rose?
GT: oh, heh, i see you there.
GT: pretty hard to type with you’ve got your other hand on your boob!
TT: Sorry.
TT: That’s another reason I prefer to masturbate naked.
TT: Female breasts and nipples are particularly sensitive.
TT: Stimulating them as well can increase the overall pleasure.
TT: It’s getting hard to resist the urge.
GT: it’s totally okay, really…
GT: i mean wow, watching you play with your own boob is…
GT: well it’s really awesome.
TT: thank you
TT: after warming up
TT: a special organ becomes more swollen and noticeable
TT: like a penis growing erect
TT: this part here when you pull back this fleshy hood above the vaginal opening
TT: its called the clitoris
TT: and stimulating it is extremely pleasurable
TT: between repeatedly thrusting a pair of fingers inside the vaginal opening, massaging the clitoris with my thumb, and the aforementioned breast play with my current typing hand
TT: peak pleasure can be achieved within minutes if i don’t draw it out longer
GT: wow, you must be really into it.
GT: your typing is getting as lazy as dave’s.
TT: sorry
TT: hard to focus
GT: oh, jeez, well don’t let me distract you.
GT: you can just….do that for a while.
TT: ok
TT: shouldnt take long at this rate
GT: heh, i can tell.
GT: you’re moving a lot faster than when you started…
GT: jesus rose this is super duper sexy.
GT: i really hope you’re not offended but this is really making me want to…y’know…
TT: no
TT: not at all
TT: go ahead
GT: really?
TT: yes
TT: im kind of curious about how boys do it too actually
GT: okay…
GT: um…
GT: i dunno if i can describe it as good as you…
TT: just turn your webcam on
TT: i know the basic anatomy
TT: im just curious how you actually do it
GT: oh…
GT: well, okay…
GT: since you’re letting me see i guess i can let you see too.
GT: here, one sec…
TT: oh there you are
TT: goodness john youre solid as a rock
GT: yeah, it almost kind of hurts
GT: but jeeeeeez it feels good to finally rub it.
TT: looks like you have it a lot easier than us girls.
GT: heh yeah sorry.
GT: hey rose?
TT: yes?
GT: could you maybe
GT: um
GT: play with your boobs a little more?
TT: my boobs?
TT: john, are you a fan of my boobs?
GT: i can’t help it rose you have really pretty boobs!
TT: okay
TT: like this john?
GT: oh jeez, yeah, just like that
GT: oh man that’s really sexy rose
TT: if i may ask in return
TT: will you zoom out
TT: so i can see your face while you masturbate?
GT: okay…how come?
TT: i confess
TT: i find glasses sexy
GT: ohhhhh
GT: heh
GT: okay there
GT: glasses shot for rose
TT: thats perfect john
TT: you look adorable
GT: guh
GT: rose
GT: im uh
GT: not gonna last a lot longer
TT: me neither
TT: john
GT: yeah?
GT: what is it?
GT: rose?
TT: jiopkjl;’’’’’’’’’’’’
GT: oh man what are you doing?
GT: you’re twitching
GT: and watery stuff’s shooting out of your
GT: OH
GT: oh jesus you just
GT: oh god I cant hold it anymore
GT: I gotta finish this rose brb
TT: Whew.
TT: Yes, that was an orgasm, if you were unfamiliar with the term.
TT: An especially satisfying one, for the record.
TT: I see you’re enjoying one yourself.
TT: My goodness your face is bunched up in the most adorable fashion.
TT: As much as one can use the word “adorable” to describe the process of releasing one’s seed into a handful of tissue paper.
TT: No, don’t rush to get back to me, savor the moment.
TT: I’ll wait.
GT: guuuuuuuhhhhh.
GT: rose that was so crazy but it felt soooooo good!
TT: Agreed.
TT: I trust you feel a little better about yourself now?
GT: heh…yeah, actually.
GT: that was kinda freeing.
TT: Not to mention educational and mutually satisfying.
GT: heh.
GT: right back to all your fancy vocabulary huh?
TT: I must be true to myself.
GT: haha, of course.
GT: well…
TT: Yes?
GT: ah jeez, just…thanks, rose.
TT: You’re welcome, John.
TT: I’m glad I could fill you in before you became repressed and self-loathing.
TT: Just remember.
TT: Don’t ever feel guilty about this.
TT: Or any of your natural feelings.
GT: heh, i’ll try to keep that in mind.
TT: Good.
GT: i’m gonna go pass out now.
GT: and sleep for like, ever.
TT: Likewise. Goodnight, John.
GT: night, rose.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT]--

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT]--

TT: John?
TT: I guess you’ve gone already.
TT: I just forgot to say.
TT: Thank you, as well.
TT: It may sound strange, considering the nature of our activity, but I’ve never felt closer to you than I do now.
TT: I will treasure this memory always.
TT: And…well, that’s all, I suppose.
TT: Goodnight John.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT]--

--ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]--

GT: heh...yeah.
GT: me too rose.
GT: night!

--ghostlyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]--
- 1
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ROSE: EDUCATE/EMBARRASS JOHN