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Frigid As They Come	By : annakas Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 3092 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Batman series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Frigid As They Come
- 1
A/N: Big thank you to Chelly for doing a fantastic beta. And thanks for Elizabeth Greenleaf for looking it over too.

A/N: Written for the 15 minutes drabble challenge for the word "Frigid" in BatmanAndRobin slash group. This is what came out of my try. And frigid is definitely not the word in this case. :)

Frigid As They Come
By
annakas

Dick had given up in ever getting billionaire extraordinary Bruce Wayne in to his bed. The reason for that? One Bruce Wayne, less known as the Dark Knight a.k.a Batman, was as frigid as they came. The reason why Dick, also less known as Robin, thought that was? The young man had tried every seduction technique he knew and some he’d only heard about, failing to achieve any results in getting one tall, dark and handsome Bruce into his bed.
At the tender age of seventeen Dick had found the love of his life, the other half of his soul, his mate for life. The only problem so far was that said other half was not aware of the fact and all of Dick’s attempts to fix this horrible mistake didn't work. He hadn't given up. Until now. And the reason for that? Well, he was horny and it really seemed like the tall, dark and handsome not to mention mysterious Bruce Wayne was frigid.
Dick had tried to seduce Bruce since he discovered that he had fallen, fallen hard in love with his mentor and guardian Bruce Wayne at the age of sixteen. It had now been over a year and half since he started the mission. "Me, Bruce, Bed, and Sex" and his teenage hormones could not stand the tension anymore. He needed a release and badly but the man he wanted it with didn't seem to notice his problem.
Year and half ago he decided he wanted Bruce. And, what he wanted he got, usually. Not this time though, it seemed. Dick had left behind his horrendous, loose and dorky clothes, instead taking a sexy, cool and suave style. Most of his clothes were now skintight, black (because black was Bruce's favorite color) and quite revealing.
The first time he came into Bruce's view wearing one of his new enticing outfits the object of his affections raised a sexy eyebrow at him and asked with his even sexier knee weakening voice:
"Are you going out clubbing?" then as an afterthought added “No drugs, no alcohol, no sex in any of my cars and be back by eleven." Then Mr. Tall dark and handsome walked out of the room. Dick was left behind with his chin on the floor. Bruce had just used the word sex, and damn it sounded hot Dick thought with his well... his dick.
Dick had tried other seduction techniques and nothing seemed to work. He had done the entire mysterious smile and impulsive hugs routine. He had tried the entire innuendos talk with all kinds of interesting variations. He even had done the sexy posing thing he had heard about. You know the one where the seducer bends over so that the seducee could see his beautiful behind. It didn't work.
He was even struck by an idea of such genius that he knew it couldn’t fail. Dick used a red, cherry flavored lollipop; he then sucked it like a pro. Making all the right moans and sucking noises. He had made love to the candy when Bruce was in the room so that the object of his affections would start to think about where Dick's mouth would come into better use than a red mouth coloring candy.
It didn’t work.
Instead Bruce seemed unfazed and told Dick that if he liked the candy that much Bruce could buy some shares in it. The company looked like a good business investment to him. Dick couldn't understand why he couldn’t get some kind of rise out of Bruce considering all of his attempts to get the man into his bed. The candy should have done the trick. No man could resist a good blowjob. But, Bruce didn't seem to notice the unvoiced but unmistakable offer. The only thing Dick got from the candy was a red colored mouth for a week and a tender tongue. A man who stays cold when offered a blowjob has to be frigid was the only conclusion that Dick could come to, sad though it may be.
Tapping his last reserve, Dick had called Smallville to get advice from another teenager. A teenager who like him, had plans to get a billionaire into his bed. Dick called Clark who he had met at one of Bruce's social events. Clark Kent had been there with Lex Luthor as Lexes’ companion for the evening. When Bruce and Lex had gone to a closed room to talk business (as they called it) Dick and Clark stayed behind. After an uncomfortable silence, then a stuttering name exchange the two teenagers discovered that they had a lot in common. Namely they both wanted their best friends, the sexy billionaires into their beds. Clark Kent wanted Lex Luthor and Dick wanted his Bruce.
Now when Dick didn't know what to do anymore he called Clark for some advice. But a problem arose. Clark hadn't gotten any farther himself with his seduction plans. And as such, couldn't give Dick the advice that the boy so desperately needed. "I really don't know what to say. I have come into a dead end myself. Nothing I do works. Lex is simply blind to my advances. So I can't say what would help when I can't even get my own man into bed." the other teen had said softly to Dick on the phone. Both boys sighed sadly and agreed both Bruce and Lex were a lost cause. Bruce it seemed was frigid and Lex was just blind to Clarks advances.
When Dick was forced to come to the decision that he would never get into bed with the tall, dark and handsome man he wanted to weep. He had found the other half of his soul. The other Half with whom it seemed he would never know the joys of sex with. Of course, Dick could go and have sex with some nameless boy or girl he didn't care for but, he didn't want that at all. He wanted Bruce and only Bruce. If he couldn't get Bruce, he at least wanted to have Batman. If he couldn't even have the Dark Knight he didn't want anyone else. The boy sighed sadly. And it would be cruel he thought, to flaunt my sex life when Bruce is frigid and can't get it up for anyone. Dick didn't want to hurt Bruce and so he resigned himself to living his entire life as a virgin beside Bruce. If he couldn't get the man he wanted, he wouldn’t have anyone else. Decision made, Dick went into his bedroom to have a session of one on one with his right hand and the sexy picture of Bruce he had hidden in his room.
***
The two men who had just finished having wild sex on the office desk groaned in pleasure and fulfillment. "Damn I’ve missed this" said the bald one from under the dark-haired man. The dark-haired one also known as Bruce Wayne slipped out of his long time friend and schoolmate Lex Luthor. "I have to agree completely" he said with affection.
"I take it, with the way you pounced on me the second I closed the door that Dick still hasn't given up" stated Lex.
"Far from it. You should have seen what he did with a lollipop. I almost jumped him then. And I can safely say that with the way you let me manhandle you, Clark is still at it" said Bruce with a groan.
"Yes he is.” A pause “You know he is over the age of consent. They both are." sighed Lex wishfully.
"Yes I am aware of that but I want Dick to be sure of his decision and I don't want the scandal that I am sleeping with my ward. Lex, why haven't you slept with your boy yet?” Bruce asked then stated “You know he wants you."
"I too don't want a scandal. He lives in a small town. I don't want to see his life turn into hell just because he is sleeping with another man. And I will refuse to keep him a secret." Lex answered.
"You know they’ll both be eighteen in six months. Both will be going to college. Clark will move into Metropolis, so no small town phobias and Dick will not be my ward anymore. Should we take them as our respective significant others then?" asked Bruce.
Lex grinned ruefully and answered:" Yes if they still want us then. But, until that time, so we will not die from frustration these office meetings will have to relieve our needs."
"Ohh yes. I like our meetings.” Bruce sighed “You know Lex; I will miss our little adventures when they are over."
"Me too my friend, me too. However, losing you as a lover in exchange for getting Clark is not too high a price to pay. Let’s not think of it now. We have six months until then and we will have many more meetings before it is over. Now get up, and bend over your desk. I haven't got my fill yet and you have. It is my turn to top now." said Lex cheerfully.
And so after many minutes new thumps, groans, mewls and screams could be heard through the closed office door. The female secretary sighed behind her desk when she heard her boss going again at it with his business associate. ‘He does not pay me enough’ she thought to herself sadly. When the phone rang she took it and said with false cheer
“Wayne Industries. You have reached Mr. Wayne’s office. My name is Sonya, how can I help you...? No you can not speak with Mr. Wayne at the moment. He is in a meeting with Mr. Luthor... No I will not go in and disturb him to ask when he will finish... No sir... Yes sir... Now..."
New vigorous thumps could be heard as well as few loud screams in Bruce's voice
"Oh yes Lex! OH! Deeper Lex! Harder Lex. Oh! Oh! OH! OH..."
So after a brief pause the secretary answered into the phone:
"...the meeting seems to be at its crucial point right now and like I said I will not disturb Mr. Wayne and Mr. Luthor as they are in vigorous negotiations over the Red Lollipop Europe Industries. Have a good day and goodbye". The secretary put down the phone and checked her watch. My, my, this is the third time they are going at it in this hour. Why can't this day be already over? She sighed mournfully.
The End
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Frigid As They Come