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Happy Halloween Mr Pumpkinhead	By : ladymidath Category: Comics > The Sandman (Vertigo Comics) > The Sandman (Vertigo Comics) Views: 1445 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Sandman, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Happy Halloween Mr Pumpkinhead
- 1
Disclaimer:I do not own any of these characters and all disclaimers apply
Happy Halloween Mr Pumpkinhead

"What are we looking for exactly Mulder?" Krycek hissed.
"The Great Pumpkin." Mulder replied under his breath. "Now keep quiet Alex."
Krycek stared at him for a moment, now totally convinced that his partner had completely lost his mind.
"The Great Pumpkin." He replied flatly. "Mulder please tell me that you are kidding. I mean this does have to be some kind of joke right? Isn't it?"
"No it's not so keep it down Alex."
Krycek stared at his Mulder for a moment, then shook his head. This was crazy, here they were in the middle of a pumpkin field hunkered down, hiding amongst the plants waiting for...what exactly? Some gigantic pumpkin spirit to appear.
This was madness, and what was worse, Mulder really seemed to believe that this creature actually existed.
"Mulder."
"What?" Mulder's reply was impatient now.
"You don't really think that there's any such thing as The Great Pumpkin, do you?"
"Look Alex, I thought I explained all this to you back at the office." Mulder said wearily. God and he thought Scully had been bad. His new FBI partner was even worse if that was possible. He was constantly questioning every assignment, every decision that Mulder made and it was beginning to drive him crazy. But the young agent did have a nice ass though, even if his sense of hair and clothing style left a lot to be desired.
"Yes I know but..." Krycek began but Mulder cut him off.
"There have been several reports of sightings all claiming the same thing. A large pumpkin like creature roaming around at night. The sightings have usually been in and around large pumpkin fields such as this one, and that is why we are here tonight."
"Look Agent Mulder." Krycek replied. "Why don't we just leave this particular case to say...Agent Charlie Brown and just go home?"
"Very amusing Alex." Mulder replied drily. "And the answer is no."
Krycek sighed and shook his head. Here he was, in a goddamn field freezing his ass off waiting for some weird pumpkin spirit to show up when he could be at home in bed, preferably with a certain senior agent. The same one who was hunkered down beside him as a matter of fact.
"How much longer do we have to stay here Mulder?" He asked, pulling his coat closer around him trying to keep the chilly air at bay.
"Until this pumpkin thing turns up." Mulder replied curtly. "Now be quiet Alex, and keep an eye out for it."
"Fine, whatever." Krycek muttered, his temper souring even further. Together the two FBI agents settled down to wait.
"I'm sorry Merve, I know it's your night off but it needs to be done." Lucien said as he handed Merve a large sack filled with various articles. "They are running late with several dreams tonight and they are short handed as well, what with Glob and Brute being unavailable and three of the other dreams making guest appearances in South America this evening."
"But do all the kids hto hto have dreams tonight?" Merve asked impatiently. "I mean geez Loosh can't a couple of 'em just have nice dreamless nights tonight?"
"What, with all the candy they will have ingested over the course of the evening, not to mention all the excitement. No, no they must have their dreams, and vivid ones at that." Lucien replied, his high fussy voice filled with horror at the very idea of a Halloween without dreams. "Now Lord Morpheus himself will be entertaining several youngsters in his castle tonight. You know how special Halloween is here in the Dreaming. Now no more complaints Merve, kindly deliver these things to the dream spinners and then you can go on to your poker game."
"Yeah, yeah all right." Merve grumbled as he shouldered the sack, then stopping to light one of his stogies, he left the library, mumbling under his breath.
His mood was so bad now that even the Fashion Thing and Nuala gave him a wide berth as he left the castle and headed out towards the Dreaming Fields. ###### "What time is it?" Krycek asked stifling a yawn. Mulder glanced at his watch.
"It's just after twelve." He replied.
"Do you still think the Great Pumpkin is going to show up?" Krycek asked. Mulder sighed and shook his head.
"I don't know." He replied despondently. "I was so sure that it would show up here tonight."
Krycek heard the disappointment in Mulder's voice and found himself suddenly feeling sorry for him. After all, he had been so certain that this thing existed.
"Look Agent Mulder, why don't we give it another hour, if it doesn't show by then..."
"Sure, another hour." Mulder replied, then smiled at the younger agent. "And if it doesn't show up by then, breakfast is on me. How does that sound?"
"Sounds great." Krycek replied with a grin. "And if it does show up?" He added teasingly.
"I get to give you a blow job." Mulder replied, then felt his face go red. Where the hell had that come from?
"Is that a promise?" Krycek's voice was husky now. He was looking at Mulder, his green eyes luminous in the dark.
"Hell yeah." Mulder found himself answering, then blushing even harder. What had gotten into him tonight? He would never have dreamed of propositioning a fellow FBI agent, let alone one as young as Alex Krycek. Hell he must have accidentally inhaled too much chemical fertilizer or something.
"I have an even better idea." Krycek said suddenly. "Why wait for the Great Pumpkin to show up?" With that, he leaned forward to plant a kiss on the older agent's mouth. ###### "Goddamn hack magician." Merve cursed as he stomped along the dirt road, the now empty sack slung over his shoulder.
"Ask him to do me one little favour. Just zap me back to the castle John will ya buddy. Save me having to walk and I can get to my poker game on time. Sure Merve me old china, he says. And what does he do. He zaps me into the waking world. How goddamn stupid can that little limey git be."
Stopping to light another cigar, Merve glanced around, taking in his surroundings. G, ju, just great. Not just content to zap him into the waking world, the idiot mage had also landed him him in the middle of nowhere. And if Dream were to find out that one of his employees had ended up amongst the mortals, he would go ballistic. Merve suddenly felt a shiver ripple through his stick like frame. And after what had happened to Brute and Glob, it just didn't bear thinking about.
Oh when he got his hands on that so called magus, he was really going to kick his ass for him.
Merve had been coming back from the Dreaming Fields when he had bumped into none other than John Constantine. The mystic had been visiting the Dreaming when Merve had happened to run into him. Something that Merve was beginning to now heartily regret now. Well he guessed it served him right, after all he should have realized that John was drunk...as usual. A Halloween party that one of his friend's had decided to throw no doubt.
Well thers nos nothing for it. He was going to have to make his way back somehow and he was going to miss the poker game into the bargain. Geez, what a night this was turning out to be.
"Wait Mulder, let me do it, you'll tear it otherwise."
"Yeah okay Alex."
"How does that feel?"
"Hmmm."
Merve stopped dead in his tracks. What the hell was going on over there? It sounded like...no, it couldn't be. Could it?
Curiosity well and truly peaked now, he moved closer to where the sounds were coming from.
Completely unaware that they had company, Mulder and Krycek were lying in the middle of the field now, their hands exploring each other as they kissed passionately.
Peering over the pumpkin vine, Merve was treated to the sight of the two FBI agents making love to each other in the middle of a pumpkin field. Would wonders never cease.
Well, well. He thought with a grin as he watched the action unfolding in front of him. This is better than one of them Swedish porno films that Cain has hidden under his bed. And here he thought his entire night had been shot to hell.
Moving closer to get a better look, his boot landed on a twig that snapped loudly under his weight, startling the two FBI men.
"Shit, what the fuck was that?" Muldersed sed peering around the moonlit field.
"I don't know Mulder, maybe it's an animal." Krycek replied, sitting up beside him, his hair flopping over his forehead untidily. "A rabbit or a squirrel or something."
"That sounded larger than a squirrel." Mulder said as he clambered to his feet. "Come on Alex."
"Crap." Merve muttered when he realized that both FBI agents had been alerted now. Taking a careful step backwards, he placed his foot squarely into a patch of mud and promptly slipped over, falling square on his ass.
"What the..." Mulder whirled towards the sounds of the commotion as Merve struggled to his feet, tangling himself in the thick vines. Pulling at them frantically, he managed to free himself.
"It's over there!" Krycek called out drawing his gun. "Come on Mulder!"
Uttering frantic curses now, Merve desperately pulled himself out of the pumpkin vines and turning, he made a dash towards the dirt path. The two FBI agents hot on his heels.
"FBI, stop or we will shoot!" Mulder yelled out, blundering his way through the tangle of vines, suddenly he tripped and stumbled against Krycek, nearly knocking him over.
"Jesus Mulder, watch out." Krycek grumbled as he steadied himself. "Shit, I think we lost him, which way did he go?"
"That way." Mulder replied, pointing vaguely in the direction that the tall figure he had glimpsed briefly had gone.
With that they both took off through the field after their quarry.
Merve stumbled out onto the path, his chest heaving up and down with the unexpected exertion. Damn, he thought as he struggled to get his breath back. Too many stogies and not enough exercise, knew it would catch up with him one day.
Suddenly his huge orange head jerked up at the sound of two pairs of feet crashing through the bushes, heading his way. Crap those fibbies didn't give up easily and the last thing that Merve needed was to spend the night in jail on god knows what charge. Wouldn't the boss just love that. Dream would probably have Merve cleaning out the nightmares cages for the rest of eterni
Picking up the sack that he had dropped, Merve took off through the trees hoping desperately to lose to the two mortals who were hot on his tail. After all, how would they react to the sight of a talking pumpkin wearing denim overalls and smoking a cigar.
"Mulder, over there. I see something moving!" Krycek called out as they follow the the fleeing figure into the woods.
"Aw shit, don't you guys ever give up?" Merve panted as he fled deeper into the woods. The younger and much fitter humans following him.
Desperate now, Merve turned to his right only to find himself running smack bang into a familiar figure, knocking him flat on his back.
"Frigging hell Merve, whatcha playing at you bloody great git?" The blonde haired man complained as Merve bent down to help him back on his feet once more.
"Sorry John but I have a couple of..."
"Stop right there and place your hands over your heads!"
Raising their hands up, both Merve and John turned around, facing the two flushed out of breath agents.
"Oh my...Mulder, look." The younger looking one of the two said, pointing towards Merve.
The older one nodded wisely. "I told you Alex, the Great Pumpkin is real."
"Jesus Mulder." The younger one answered, clearly stunned. "You were right all along."
They were both regarding Merve with something akin to awe now. Both Merve and John glanced at each other, then back to the FBI agents once more.
"The Great Pumpkin?" They echoed in disbelief.
"You have to be kidding mate." John added for good measure. Mulder's eyes settled on the scruffy looking man wearing a somewhat disreputable looking trenchcoat.
"And who are you?" He asked coldly. John gave the Mulder his patented Constantine charm grin.
"The n's J's John; John Constantine." He replied easily. "Err, mind if Merve here and I put our hands down now. It just that our fingers are getting kinda numb if you know what I mean."
"You are a friend of...his?" Krycek indicated towards an increasingly irritated Merve.
"As a matter of fact, he's the blockhead that stranded me here." Merve grumped. John glanced at him.
"Uh yeah, sorry about that mate. I was a bit under the weather youw."w."
"Yeah, ticeticed." Merve replied drily. "So tell me oh great magician, how the hell do we get out of this, huh?" "Don't worry Merve, I'll get yer back to the dreaming. Just give me a minute will ya." John replied. With an exasperated roll of his eyes, Merve turned back to Mulder and Krycek again.
"Look guys, it's all a mistake." He began. "You see what happened was, my friend John here..."
"Are you the spirit of the pumpkins that returns each Halloween to haunt the living?" Mulder asked suddenly. Merve stared at him for a moment, clearly nonplused.
"Well, Uh I...that is to say..."
"Sure he is." John quickly interjected. "Why Merve here is the Great Pumpkin himself. Aren't you Merve?"
"I am?" Merve asked confused, then after a nudge from John added.
"Oh yes, of course. I am the Great and Mighty Pumpkin Spirit." He narrowed his eye slits slightly, hoping to instill a sense of godlike awe on the two human s standing in front of him.
The one called Mulder broke into a huge grin. "That is so neat." He replied, then turning to his partner added.
"Isn't it?"
"Oh yeah Mulder." Krycek answered faintly, his eyes stfixefixed on the pumpkin creature in front of him. "Real neat. Um could we possibly get the hell out of here now...please?"
"That might be a good idea." John said, folding his arms across his chest while leveling a steady gat tat them both. "After all it wouldn't do to piss off the Great and Mighty Pumpkin Spirit now would it lads? In fact, I don't think you ever saw either of us at all, did you now."
Suddenly there was a brightening and then everything went dark. Mulder blinked hard, then turned to his partner. Krycek was still staring ahead of him, his eyes blank and glassy.
"Alex, hey Alex wake up." Reaching out, Mulder grasped the younger man by the shoulder and gave him a little shake.
"Huhhh?" Krycek's eyes blinked as though he were just coming up out of a dream. Turning his head, he gazed at Mulder with bleary confusion.
"What...what happened?" He asked.
"I'm not sure." Mulder replied softly. "We must have fallen asleep."
"But how did we get here?" Krycek lifted his head to gaze around at the line of trees that surrounded them.
"I...I don't know." Mulder replied. "We must have walked in our sleep, or something..His His words trailed off as he glanced up at the sky. It was beginning to get light, dawn was not far off.
"I think we should be getting back." He said quietly. Krycek nodded in agreement. Together both men headed back the way they came, their voices muted in the pre morning silence.
"Hey don't forget Mulder, you still owe me breakfast." Krycek said. "And thablowblow job." ###### "So do you think they'll remember any of it?" Merve asked as he poured John another cup of coffee. They were both sitting around the small breakfast table in Merve's house.
"No, I made sure they wouldn't." John replied. "What the hell were two fibbies doing out in the middle of the woods anyway?"
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you." Merve replied with a wink. "Anyway, thanks for coming and getting me. It would have taken me forever to get back and believe me when I say the boss would have been madder than a grasshopper in a frypan."
John chuckled as he lifted the cup to his lips. "No problem Merve, after all, I was the one that sent you there in the first place. Oh by the way, sorry about that. And besides, if I hadn't gone to get you, youss wss would have had both me bollocks in a sling good and proper."
Merve couldn't help but laugh at that. Suddenly he lifted his own coffee cup.
"Well here's to the Great Pumpkin."
"The Great and Mighty Pumpkin." John added. The cups came together with an audible clink. nd nnd neither Mulder or Krycek ever gave a thought about the Great Pumpkin again, but they did have a lot of fun times together, especially around Halloween.
~END~
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Happy Halloween Mr Pumpkinhead