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My Week With Everyone	By : Ksennin Category: DC Verse Comics > Justice League Views: 21679 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own the Justice League or any characters in the Justice League franchise. I make no money from publishing this work.

Chapter List
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When he woke, it was late in the evening. He felt relaxed and well-rested, better than he had in years, except for a slight bit of heartburn. Funny; all he’d had to eat in the past twelve hours was Karen’s edible panties. Getting up, he had a quick wash in the shower before draping himself in one of the hotel’s robes. Then came a knock at the door.
Ted had a brief moment of panic. Karen had mentioned only booking the room for so long; had he overslept and drawn the hotel detective to kick him out? Or was it Supergirl come to ask him to take her virginity? Both seemed equally plausible, though he was hoping for the first. He didn’t have a jackhammer on him, after all.
It turned out to be neither, proving his life was as implausible as ever. Booster Gold stood in the doorway. “Boost!” Ted cried, greeting him with a quick hug.
“Boost?”
“New nickname I’m trying out,” Ted said. “You can call me Blue, Big Blue, the Blue Meany if I’m being snarky… come in, come in. I think I still have some room service left if you’re hungry...”
“I’m not—any pizza?”
“Few slices. From Salomi’s.”
“Split ‘em with you.”
“You’re feeling generous.”
Seconds later, they were eating cold pizza in the kitchen. Thinning hair on Booster, soft belly on him, it was still like no time had passed at all. They were back in the days when the biggest thing there was to worry about was what shit was going to come out of Guy Gardner’s mouth.
“You would not believe the week I’ve been having!”
Booster smiled, though it seemed a bit hard. Maybe his futureball injury was acting up again. “Try me.”
“First, I catch Zatanna fighting some demon monk guy.”
“Were you suited up?”
“No, I had on a Star Wars T-shirt.”
“Awkward.”
“Yeah, get this—she drags me into the nearest alley and rides bareback.”
An eyebrow raised: “That so?”
“Yeah, I swear. I know it sounds crazy—“
“No, no, I believe you. Sounds like a crazy week.”
“That is not the half of it. I get home, try to get some shuteye, guess what I wake up to?”
“Batgirl?”
Ted blinked warily. “Okay, there are about six Batgirls, so that’s not a fair guess. But yes. And I won’t lie—she was the guy in that meeting.”
“Ouch.”
“But then Mary Marvel showed up and she—gave me a care package.”
“Oh?”
“Peanut brittle, some Nutella, it was very nice of her.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Fast-forward to last Friday. I get a drink with Max Lord, so expecting the rest of my evening to be just your standard decontamination procedure. Instead, Power Girl pulls up in a limo—apparently she’s a businesswoman in real life—and…” Ted didn’t even know how to put it. “Power Girl fucked my tits. I mean, I fucked—it was her boobs, man.”
“Yeah, gotcha, gotcha.”
“No, seriously!”
“I believe you!”
“Well, you shouldn’t! Because after I spend three days climbing the walls with her, I finally get some sleep and wake up to Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl in my bed.”
“Wonder Girl? Isn’t she in the TEEN Titans?”
“No, the other Wonder Girl. The old Wonder Girl.”
“Troia?”
“Is that what she calls herself?”
“Said the Blue Beetle, misplacing his sense of irony.”
“Point is!” Ted insisted, “I can’t explain any of it. I might as well be insane. Am I in a straitjacket right now? Are you visiting me in an insane asylum? I don’t know, maybe! I think I just had a threesome with Wonder Woman, what do I know?”
“You’re not hallucinating,” Booster told him. And for some reason, Ted found that a bit unsettling.
“Is it hot in here?” Ted tugged on the collar of his robe. “This thing is fluffy, but I don’t think it’s that fluffy. I’m sweating.”
“Listen, Ted, I want you to relax. Just breathe, deep and evenly, and don’t try to move.”
Ted felt himself tingle with panic. “Alright, Booster, are you pranking me? Because that is a really creepy, mean prank to play. That’s a prank the internet would make.”
“Ted, do you watch Doctor Who?”
“Booster, of course I watch Doctor Who.”
“Then you know that some bits of time you can alter—save people, change courses, rewrite history—and then there’s hard time. Things you can’t change. Even if you want. Even if you really, really want to.”
“Yeah, that’s why the Doctor can’t stop the Titanic from sinking, it’s a fixed point in time. So wh—is this a fixed point?”
Booster bit his lip. “Relativistically speaking.”
His heartburn was getting worse. “What can’t you change?”
“Ted, fourth-dimensional physics is hard to explain—“
“I’m smart; try.”
Booster sighed. He took off his goggles. He took down his cowl. “This isn’t the original timeline. Heck, the original timeline isn’t the original timeline. My subjective past is already full of time travelers and retcons and—I’ve been helping to fix things. In my timeline, before I changed it, Sue’s dead…”
“I don’t believe it—“
“Max Lord is a supervillain…”
“That I can believe.”
“And he shoots you. Shoots you in the head, Blue.”
Sweat stung into Ted’s eyes. He wiped it away with the back of his hand, eventually using the sleeve of his robe. “But you changed it, right, you fixed things?”
“Some. What I could. But it’s not all—you have to die, Ted. It’s part of the plan, the will of the universe, a bad roll of the dice, whatever you want to call it. We’ve had this conversation before, a dozen times, and I lose you every time. This time you’re just having a heart attack.”
“So call 911, fly me to an ER, get Dr. House to look at me—“
“I’ve tried that!” Booster interrupted, teeth gritted. He instantly regretted his outburst, wiping at his worn face. “You spend twenty hours in pain instead of two minutes. Or a nurse messes up your prescription and you convulse to death. Or the ambulance gets hit by a truck. Nothing changes.”
“Then why are you here?” Ted tried to laugh. “Wanna get back that twenty bucks I owe you?”
“I wanted to see you off. Ted, in the timeline where Max killed you, people worshipped you. No one—none of us—knew what we had until you were gone. I pulled some strings with the Monitors, had them just… move that feeling around so people felt it before you died instead of after.”
“That’s what was going on with all the women? They all wanted me to go out with a bang?”
“So to speak. I thought—if you had to die—better to go out from doing too many ladies than because Max Lord wanted to take over the world.”
“That’s fair. Oh!” Ted clutched his chest. That really did sting. “Thanks, Booster. I’m—actually kinda cool with this. Probably the only way I was ever going to have a threesome, let alone with the Wonder Twins.”
“You did them too?” Booster cried.
“What? No, Diana and Donna.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah, actually in one timeline you’re married to Fire and Ice, so…”
“You couldn’t have let me have that one?”
“And the world is ruled by Orca.”
“Even so…” A sudden pang drove Ted out of his seat and onto the floor. Booster rushed to the side, getting an arm around his shoulders, holding him tight.
“Easy. That’s the worst of it. It’s just like going to sleep now. Just let go.”
Ted blinked. His eyesight was getting dark around the edges. He didn’t think it was going to get better. “Wanna hear something funny?”
“Always.”
“I don’t really care about me—I’m worried about you. What are you gonna do without me around to tell you how stupid you’re being?”
Booster almost managed a smile. “I guess I’ll just have to stop being stupid.”
“Oh, that old plan…” Ted closed his eyes. “You were great, Booster. You were really, really great. The best friend a guy ever had. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve screwed more superheroes than Ryan Reynolds.”
Ted was glad he couldn’t see, because it sounded like Booster was crying. “Hey, people come back all the time, right? Ice just came back. The Birds of Prey—I’m not gonna say goodbye. I thought I could, but I can’t. I’m not. See you later, jerk.”
“See you later, asshat.”
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My Week With Everyone