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Ultimate Tangled Web	By : superbang Category: zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] > Spiderman Views: 15581 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Spiderman, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Warning:

This story is for adults only! The story has strong sexual
and violent content as well as offensive language. If this is something that
you feel uncomfortable with or if not old enough according to the law, the
author would suggest that you read no further.

Disclaimer:

All of the characters in this story are the property of
Marvel Comics. The author makes no claim of ownership on these characters. It
is a parody. Written for entertainment and not profit.
If you wish to make money off of Marvel, buy stock. I did.

Feedback is
always welcome at superbangjason@yahoo.com

For more
quality fanfic go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NaughtyMarvelFiction/

Ultimate Tangled Web

Chapter 9

Okay Spidey-Guy, let�s list what we�ve done today. Swung to Jersey, check.
Sneak into old OsCorp Lab, check. Find Kitty Pryde� um� Black Cat, check. Have
naked Felicia tied to office chair tell me to take my clothes off, check?

So I�m waiting for my brain to start working again when my
dead disfigured clone repelled from the ceiling. �Hiya, stud.
How�s it hanging.�

That�s when I notice two things;
A) He has not gotten any prettier & B) My jokes are really crappy?

He twisted and dropped to the floor, still wearing his
crappy imitation of my costume. I can�t really blame him though. There is a
reason MJ sows all my costumes. I�d probably be jealous of his stitched
together Spidey sweat suit if I had to do it myself.

�Okay,� I said and held up my hands. �I�ll give you one
minute to explain what�s going on. Even though I probably shouldn�t because of
what you did to MJ.�

�I knew I was gonna do that.� He smiled at me, well, half
his face smiled. The rest looked like a pizza with all the cheese squished over
to one side. �Okay Peter, I know we didn�t get off to the best start last time
(and you let me get shot). But that is all water under the bridge. I have a way
to fix both our lives. Right Felicia?�

Felicia had spun her chair the
other way. �I�m still naked here.�

There was so much going on I
really didn�t have a chance to enjoy that. �Why is she naked?�

�It�s mostly her fault,� the funhouse mirror version of me
shrugged. �I need some way to get your attention. What better way than stealing
your girlfriend?�

�She�s not my girlfriend.�

He turned to her. �You�re not
his girlfriend?�

Felicia�s voice cracked in
anger. �I never said I was his girlfriend!� I just said that we-�

�We didn�t!� Now my voice cracked.

Waffle-Face threw up his hands.
�You cheated on MJ! What the hell is wrong with you?�

�I didn�t cheat on her!�

�You did Black Cat?�

�No I didn�t!�

We were heated. The creatures in
the Plexiglas cages started to howl in response to our anger.

I had to point at them. �What
the hell are those things?�

�They�re from the Zoo,� he said without much emotion.
Spider-Woman said �The Zoo� was the nickname for the super secret CIA research
laboratory (the one that was nice enough to give Dr. Octopus a lab and my DNA
to play with).

�I had to conduct human testing to be sure.� His anger kind
of melted away.� �They wanted to clone
you, to make weapons and soldiers and spies out of us. They�ll never get
prosecuted for it, since the government was paying bills. To file criminal
charges they�d have to admit their own illegal research. So they�re bad guys
who where just going to walk-�

Now I�m fuming. �So you round
them up and lock you in cages? Perform mad scientist stuff on them?�

He shrugged, �Why not. They did
it to me.�

Moral
ambiguity. Fun.

He didn�t make any apologies, which was fine, but only
because I know SHIELD has a cure for OZ. OZ�

�You shot them all full of OZ?�

�No,� now he was smirking, �I figured it out. I figured out
what Doc Ock and Norman Osborn couldn�t. And I�m going to fix our lives with
it.�

�Listen guys,� Felicia seemed to whisper. �Since this really
doesn�t concern me I think I�m just going to go.� Apparently Felicia�s big toes
were just long enough to touch the ground. She tippy-toed her office chair
towards the open door. My clone didn�t seem to notice and I�d prefer it if she
were out of the way if things got violent.

�Peter, I had to do human testing. What I did to MJ was a
mistake, I shouldn�t have done it, but I can fix it.�

I folded my arms, �just explain
what you�re doing before I call the cops.�

�They cloned me trying to make you. But they started before
Octavius was involved. He knew a few things that they didn�t. Like the fact
that my web-shooters are NOT organic.� He massaged the deformed side of his
face, �they played with the structural genetics, trying to get my wrists to
shoot webs from glands that didn�t exist. That�s why so many of us where
deformed. They were upping the spider quotient of the equation.�

He chuckled. I�m not sure what
he thought was funny, but he chuckled.

�So when they brought Octavius on he just wanted to up the
OZ, believing that would sort it out.� He looked at his hands, and the shiny
metal web-shooters underneath. �Yeah, that didn�t work either. But I did figure
it out. It wasn�t the OZ itself, when you introduce OZ into humans the genetic
structure ends up in continual mutation. It�s like a bulldozer with no driver.
It can only go one way and destroy anything in its path. There was no roadmap
for the OZ to follow. That�s why you get the difference between mutations. Norman turned big and
green and threw fireballs. Dr. Octavius got his control over metal. MJ became
that wolf-thing. Harry turned big and orange (with fireballs) but that was only
because he had a similar genetic structure to Norman. There was a missing vector.� He
smiled at me. �There was no venom.�

�Um� okay?� I was barely
following. He seemed to be on the edge of rambling.

�Venom is a miracle of evolution. It infects the bloodstream
and can bind to it instantly. When OZ is in the mix it bonds as well, almost
flawlessly. It was the venom from the spider that bit you. It provided a
genetic roadmap. Look,� he took me by the arm over to the Plexiglas cage.

�This is Merriem Webb. Her mother was the
psychic programmed that raided your brain and gave us your memories. I
injected a snake with OZ and had it bite her. Now she still looks completely
human and is stronger, faster, immune to toxins, and I think her blood may
actually be poisonous.�

She was held inside the glass cage, and in a straight
jacket, but when she looked up at me I got a chill. �When I get out of here, I
will kill you.�

My clone gave her the finger. �Please, �you�re an illegal
genetic mutation�.� He was trying to imitate Nick Fury�s voice, �With one phone
call SHIELD owns your ass.�

He turned to me. �She was cold-blooded before. Now I�m just
giving her an excuse.�

He brought me to the next cage. �This is Sharon Keller. I
gave her a venom injection from a Spider-Wasp I shot up with OZ. She can
physically metamorphous into an insectoid creature. It�s pretty gruesome.�

I couldn�t believe it. �Why the hell would you shoot anyone
up with DNA from a creature that eats spiders?� That was just plain stupid from
any way that you covered it.

�I�m kind of limited to the animals that where still living
in this area. Some of the longer lived ones where still in the cages. I found
the viper, and the spider-wasp was larval in one of the big spiders.�

He pointed at the last cage. �That�s Ed Whelan. He was a
genetic researcher at the Zoo. Never liked him much, that�s why I saved the rat
for him.�

Ed Whelan had grown a fine covering of pink fur. His pupils
had grown large and dark, blotting out the rest of his eyes. His nails where
long, sharp and jagged. He crawled on the ground and clawed at the reflection
of Spider-Man through the clear plastic prison. Whelan lifted his head and
sniffed through one of the air holes. He pulled back his lip slightly and he
saw the pointed teeth.

He wasn�t just a man crossed
with a rat. His mind was broken (or breaking).

�What the hell have you done?� I
found myself whispering. �Rats don�t have venom.�

He looked at me, his one good eye sparkled and his other
stared blankly. �Exactly. No Venom so no bonding
agent, that why it drove him nuts.� He beamed. Some how this
made him proud. �Peter, I�ve perfected the process. I can fix
everything.� He smiled at me crazily.

�Fuck.�

Both of our heads turned. There was a centimeter high lip in
the doorframe. It was just high enough that Felicia couldn�t pull herself over
it with only the strength of her toes. It was sick and funny, watching a naked
woman bound to a office chair trying to scoot herself
out of the room and being denied by a metal lip that could barely stop a
puddle.

�Okay,� Felicia huffed as she turned her head to us. �It�s
obvious this has nothing to do with me. Get me my clothes and let me out of
here!�

�No.� The clone said flatly, taking four steps and wheeling
her back to the center of the room.

I finally had a good look. The webbing that stuck her to the
chair was ready to dissolve. It only lasted about an hour. If he could keep his
(mentally) deformed clone occupied long enough the Cat would be able to spring
herself. If only I had a way to tell Felicia that.

�I�m sorry Felicia,� he started to mumble, �but I can�t give
you your clothes back until Peter gives me his.�

Now I backed up. Even though my spider-sense didn�t start to
tingle I still wanted some space. �What the hell is that about?�

�I-I told you,� he seemed annoyed and his stutter returned,
�I-I can fix everything.� His face, at least the left side of it began to
change, �T-take off the costume. Go be with Mary Jane. Be happy. And give her
this.� With his shredded hand he picked up a syringe. The contents looked a
florescent green, almost like the OZ serum.

�What are you talking about?�

�T-think about it for a second, Peter.�
He slapped the side of his head for effect. �T-the responsible half of you
wants to be Spider-Man to help people. The other wants to be with Mary Jane. If
you�re out spidermanning and you get killed the world gets cheated out of a
fine scientific brain and a perfectly good superhero. N-not to mention MJ would
be crushed.��

He was going somewhere with his rant, but I was a little
more worried about where he was going with that needle.

�S-so let�s split the difference. Only one of us has to be
Spider-Man.�

That was it. That was the core of it. He didn�t want me out
of the costume; he wanted the costume.

His smile spread across the face and twisted into a
sickening grimace. �Face it Pete, I-I can�t grab your backpack and go to class.
I-I�m not going on any double dates with Johnny and Liz. But I can be
Spider-Man.�

My back hit the wall. I crouched against it, getting ready
to pounce. �Listen I sympathize with you, I really do. But what you need more
than anything else is help-�

�C-crazy! Crazy! You�re calling me
crazy!?!� He was crazed. �I�m giving you everything you want! You want a normal
life! You want to be with MJ! You want to be Spider-Man to help people! I�m
giving you everything you want and you�re calling me crazy?� He pointed at me
with a scarred finger of accusation, �Stop being so fucking greedy!�

�Calm down, Poncho.� I have no idea why I called him
�Poncho�. �Let�s talk this out.�

�I am talking this out!� he raved, �It�s everything you want
life to be goddammit! I�d be a great Spider-Man! I could do it 24-7 and you
could pass English because you get to sleep at night and snuggle Mary Jane!�
His hands were fists. �Why aren�t you getting this through your skull? You can
protect Mary Jane and I can patrol the city. It solves everyone�s problems!�

There was a kernel of sense to what he was saying but his
thoughts where all over the place. �Calm down and think this through-�

�I have thought it through!� Spit flew from his mouth. �You
can even give MJ a shot of the serum if you want her to have a spider-sense
like the rest of us-�

�D-don�t try it!� Felicia was out of her chair, lining up to
knock him with a broken 2x4. �D-don�t try-�

That was the only chance I was going to get. I sprung.

Like Venom and Carnage, my flawed clone didn�t set off my
spider-sense. I must not of set his off either. I hit
him hard from behind but he spun and grabbed me by the throat. Our momentum
took us into Felicia and the three of us fell to the floor. I grabbed for the
syringe. He brought a knee up into my gut. We tumbled across the floor and over
the startled (and screaming) Felicia.

We were a blurry tangle, like alley cats fighting. Neither
of us wanted to give up position. Even with a naked (and frenzied) Felicia in
the mix.

A rock hit the side of my face. I almost went out but awoke
when I felt a warm nipple in my ear. This was the second just before I felt her
elbow almost crush my spine.

�Gah! Wrong one, wrong one-�

His grip closed my throat sideways. I thought I was going to
die. Felicia scratched at his eyes. He bucked. His desperate move flung us both
off him. My spider-sense blared.

As I hit the wall something cracked the base of my skull. I
felt it give. I grabbed at it, hoping that it wasn�t bone I felt collapse.
Instead I found my noggin whole but still in exceptional pain.

�Oh crap,� I heard Felcia say. �Is disengage bad?�

In confusion I turned. My head had hit a big red button on
the wall. There was a placard above it that read �DISENGAGE� in big bold
letters.

Now the spider-sense was louder than the pain. There was a
�b-chunk� noise from the hydraulics as the doors on the Plexiglas prisons swung
open.

TBC�
- 8
- 9
- 10
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Ultimate Tangled Web