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Even Bats Fall	By : BlueBastard Category: DC Verse Movies > The Dark Knight Views: 6333 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own The Dark Knight or Batman Begins and I do not make a profit from writing this piece of fiction

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
More YouTube vids:
Always | Batman (Bruce Wayne) Joker SLASH - by Cruciatusmaximus
Pain - The Joker (The Dark Knight) - by skyeswe95
A/N: Now onto the next chapter
-o-o-o-
The sound of police dogs and shouting officers rose above his booted feet pounding the pavement. Batman didn't have to turn to look. They were gaining on him. He reached a dead end.
He aimed his grappling gun, pulling the trigger, only to hear a harsh click that sent a surge of ice down his spine.
Jammed.
Fuck!
He turned wearily to face the inevitable. He wouldn't kill them. No. He couldn't. But he would fight to stop them from taking him in. He grimaced. While there were still a few corrupt in the ranks of the force, most were just good men and women. Doing their duty for the city, as he was. And he always felt each delivered kick and punch, as though he was the one being hit.
That's when a loud clang of a fire escape ladder greeted him, making contact with wet pavement. A hissed, "C'mon Batsy!" from his upper right.
Batman froze as he heard the voice, jerked pointed cowl to see the painted man, up on the first flat landing of the fire escape. The voice from nights before ringing in his ears.
C'mon HOT stuff.
He shuddered, pausing in hesitation. Simultaneously his anger spiked, chest rumbling with an unvoiced growl.
"This way, Bats!" Joker snarked, waving impatiently upwards, "I know you're not blind AND deaf!"
Bruce Wayne paled at the thought of trusting the Joker, and Batman raged at it. But the Dark Knight shoved his feelings aside.
What other choice did he have? The Joker offered a way out. He would just have to deal with the other later.
With a muted growl, Batman whipped his cape and followed the menace up to safety.
A police man pelted down the alley, "Halt!"
Joker turned his attention, whipping out a dagger and aiming for the head of the approaching do-gooder. No. Joker had worked too hard for the men in blue to cart his Bats away.
He wouldn't let them.
Batman spotted the movement almost too late, busy clambering up the ladder, the blade glinting wickedly in the darkness.
"Joker!" Batman growled, cutting through the red, bloodthirsty veil in those crazed eyes. He saw a flash of stubborn retaliation in those black rimmed orbs.
Joker barely registered the shout. They were coming after HIS Bat. Trying to take him away!
But Joker took note of the harsh gaze under that darkened cowl. The Bat would *never* forgive him if...
Joker's snarl was audible, fighting with in his inner demons that called for the officer's blood.
With a forced jerk, Joker readjusted his aim, letting the dagger fly. Instead of a kill shot, it stuck in the man's boot, making the cop cry out in pain. But stopping him all the same.
"Joker..." Batman rasped angrily as he reached the landing the painted menace was on, pushing himself up from the top rung with measured control. He wanted to hit the man. So bad. Not just for the officer. But for himself. For that night he had taken oh so many liberties. The fact that it had felt good had nothing to do with it. Not if Batman had a say in it.
Joker felt the minute tremblings in his own skin, glancing at the hand that had let the knife fly. It had been... *hard* to fight his murdering instincts. But he shivered, then straightened, like a junky refusing his fix. The shadow of the Bat rolled over him as the vigilante drew closer, like a soothing balm to his crazed urges, calming him.
"Oh come ON Batsy. Don't get your panties in a wad. He's *not* dead, is he? If anything, I just gave him a shot at a shiny new medal." Joker rolled his eyes, grinning in the next breath.
With a scowl and an angry shake of his head, Batman continued upwards. No longer ladders, but grated steps. The Bat was cool. Calm. Collected. But the Jester detected the faint trembling of rage. But the Bats *hadn't* HIT him. It was a start. Joker watched gleefully, before prancing up after him.
After a moment, he asked, "Saaay, are you *limping* Batman? Why are you walking like, er, that?"
"Dog." Bruce lied, "BIG dog."
"You're not very dog friendly, are ya Bats?"
"But I seem to attract them all the same. Even the rabid ones..." Batman growled, throwing a pointed glare over his shoulder. He *knew* why Joker was letting him up first. No doubt taking the time to stare at his ass.
Joker cackled, shrugged, and followed the man to the rooftops.
He would follow him anywhere, actually. As long as the Bats would let him.
-o-o-o-
"You know, it's not easy being a super villain. NOT that that's the reason I, er, have suspended my life of crime, per say. I would just like to point out there's just as much work bein' a criminal than a hero. Maybe even more." Joker pondered aloud, legs swinging as he casually sat on the ledge of an at least 50 story plummet, glancing over at the still form of the Bat. The dark figure was just standing, stock still on the corner of it, one hand to the side of his head as if listening to something Joker couldn't hear.
Joker rolled his eyes.
And *they* said HE was crazy.
Seeing as how the Bat had yet to respond, Joker continued his one-sided musings, "We, of the criminal element, are *very* underrated. Not taken seriously unless we pose a threat. And there are so many threats-"
"Not true." Batman mumbled.
"What was that?" Joker quickly latched on, giddy his Bats *had* been listening after all.
Batman paused. He hadn't meant to let on that his ears were focused on anything besides the electronic murmur, his mind wandering to the lull of the Joker's voice even as he sorted through the jumble of radio chatter in his headphones. Nothing else interesting had come up so far.
And he was already caught.
Turning his head to the side ever-so-slightly, throwing the Joker a sidelong glare, before admitting, "You were the only one that gave me any real trouble."
Then Batman faced forward, stoic once more.
But Joker was humming in pleasure, smile lighting up his features.
It almost tugged a grin on Bruce's face under the mask, though he continued to pretend to focus only on the city spread before him. A delusional maniac the Joker may be, but underneath all the... crazy... there was a beating heart somewhere.
Joker was too busy preening himself to notice the Bat's facial struggle.
HE had been the Bat's only real challenge.
"I see..." Joker trailed, not minding at all that his Bats went back to ignoring him. He was, after all, allowing him to stay. Perhaps an actual show of gratitude for Joker getting him out of that police jam earlier.
Joker hadn't even had to ASK. The Bat just glared at him once, then let him be.
After a few more minutes stretched by, Joker twiddled his thumbs before admitting with a sigh, "I have a... ah, *confession* to make."
Batman turned, quick enough to startle the Joker, who seemed more nervous than usual. Under his Kevlar mask, his brow arched.
This was new.
The Joker. Nervous?
Joker began slowly, hesitantly, "I, ah, visited your friend Brucy a few nights ago-"
"I know." Batman bit harshly, devil horns pointed dangerously forward.
"Yeeaaahh... about that, uh," Joker cackled half-heartedly, "I think he might be a bit, erm, *sore* at me... I tried calling a couple times-"
Batman almost scoffed. About two dozen at least, before he stopped counting. And that was just the morning after.
"-to apologize, but I, uh, think he switched his number. I don't want there to be any hard feelings. And, erm, I *don't* think he ex-act-LY wants to *see* me any time soon, so you, ah, think you can give him a message from me?"
Batman felt his jaw muscles slacken, but had enough control not to let it drop. There had to be an ulterior motive. The Joker couldn't *really* feel bad.
"Why'd you do it?" Batman's graveled voice, hammered down the silence between them. Needed to know before he'd even *think* about what message the Joker wanted to relay.
"Uh, 'cause I had to." Joker said with a 'duh' tone to his witty retort.
"Not good enough."
"Look, Bats. I HAD to. Brucy boy had to learn that I am NOT one to keep secrets from." Joker explained patiently.
"So... you molested the man." Batman said with stark disapproval.
"No, I FUCKED him." Joker clarified, and smugly added, "And he, erm, *liked* it. I could tell."
Batman growled dangerously.
Joker raised his hands in surrender, "Okay. Okay. Maybe that was a little far. I do tend to get a little, heh, *carried* away."
"You're lucky he didn't press charges."
"Ooh scary."
Joker had multiple counts of arceny, theft, and homicides that would make a lifetime criminal go green with envy. But Batman wasn't finished.
"Or that I didn't beat you to an inch of your life for it."
"NOW we're talkin'."
"And then disappear again."
There was a flash of some unbidden emotion on the painted man's face. He actually paused in whatever witty retort he had lined up and ready to fire. It almost seemed like his tense excitement deflated, those eyes going cold. Joker frowned, "Okay THAT...That's not funny."
"Really." Batman deadpanned, "I thought it was hilarious."
Joker shifted in his seat, what once would have sent him into a red veiled rage of knives and gnashing teeth, merely had him looking away as he muttered, "And I, er, thought MY jokes were bad."
The Joker was the picture of misery, frown marring his painted features as he kicked his heels dejectedly against the ledge, slumping.
Batman felt a smirk sneak up on his normally hard features.
Strange as it was, he found it... cute.
The man was an arsonist. A murderer. A thief. A psychopathic genius. And the thought of BATMAN up and leaving...
THAT's what got that trademark grin to disappear?
Unfortunately, Joker chose that moment to peak over.
His nasally voice was hushed, as though anything louder would blow away the evidence, "Is... is *that* a SMILE on your face?"
Batman's grin dropped, hard once more as he replied gruffly, "No."
"Yes it was." Joker snickered, "Aw, I made my Batsy *smile*."
"I don't know what you're talking about..." Batman turned with a hardened exhale, listening more intently to the radio chatter on his earpiece. Busy *not* looking at the Joker.
Even turned away, he could practically *feel* the Joker beaming in delight. No matter what he said, the Joker had caught him. And the jester knew it.
Lord, just *another* thing for the mad clown to hold over him.
Suddenly Batman heard something over the police chatter. A robbery. And no available units to get to the scene.
Perfect.
Batman took a step closer to the edge, readying his arms.
"What about me?" Joker whined, up and at Bat's side before the Dark Knight could blink.
Bruce grimaced.
He could just take off. Not even mention where. He didn't even have an obligation to.
Not... really.
True to his word, Fox had made the necessary modifications to the memory cloth to allow for additional weight. It would detach the cape after locking it in place, freeing his arms to ensure any extra person wouldn't die from a horrible plummet to the ground, almost like a hang glider. But the LAST thing he wanted was the Joker wrapped around him that close as he glided, bodies pressed together. Inner Bruce shuddered. His ass was still sore from the healthy pounding the clown had given him nights before. He had not forgiven him for that. The fact that the Joker was even HERE on the rooftop with him was 'cause he had helped him out when his own equipment failed him.
Joker watched him intently, waiting for a response.
"5th and Williams, it's not that far from here." Bat said gruffly.
Then he jumped.
Joker watched him go, glum. But he couldn't help admiring the fearless grace with how his Bat leaped into oblivion.
He hadn't expected a ride. Not from the Dark Knight.
But it didn't stop the disappointment flooding through him. He frowned as he made his own way down, heading back to the rooftop entrance.
"Stubborn kill joy..." Joker muttered.
The night wind rushing around his armored form, Batman's sensitive earpiece still caught those uttered words, his frown creasing. Honestly, what did the Joker expect? That the Dark Knight would welcome him with open arms? He still remembered what Joker did. What he was. WHO he was. Good behavior or not, the man was still a criminal mastermind.
Unpredictable.
Undependable.
Yet he had saved him.
Twice now.
Batman was so distracted, he started when he realized the ground was rushing up at him. Spreading his fingertips, the Dark Knight braced himself for when the memory cloth pulled taut, molecules aligning to the programed frame of bat wings.
Fuck, the pavement!
He pulled up as quick as he could, so close he nearly brushed the top of speeding cars, alarmed honks filling the street.
That was close. Too close.
In his line of work, Batman couldn't afford distractions. And Joker was nothing but a big, painted distraction.
Why had he told the Joker where he was going?
Remembering the sullen look about the Joker, a dramatic shift from his usual persona, Batman huffed.
Well, why not?
The Joker was... relatively harmless.
At least for now.
-o-o-o-
"For the last time," Batman grumbled, "I did NOT need your help."
He carelessly dragged the three unconscious would-be bank robbers behind him, all tied together with some special rope Fox had been kind enough to make for him. Of the unbreakable, titanium weave variety.
"But Batsy, ALL I did was scare 'em a little..." Joker chuckled.
"I hardly think a bazooka-"
"Fake bazooka." Joker interjected.
Batman corrected with a sigh of irritation, "-a *fake* bazooka, was really necessary-"
"Oh c'mon Batsy! It had confetti inside! And glitter. It was a riot." Joker's grin split widely across his painted face, hands behind his back, rocking on his heels as he watched the Bat work.
Batman heaved the criminals against a lamppost not too far away, pausing to glare up at the man, hunched over as he was, "And the chainsaw? What was the point of that?"
His voice was stern. Unyielding.
"You didn't let me use it *last* time." Joker explained patiently, deflecting the Bat glare with a clown smile, "Besides, it ONLY minced up one of their jackets real nicely. Didn't even make any bloody splatters-"
"Because I TOOK it away from you before you could do any *real* damage." Batman reminded harshly through clenched teeth, glaring up at the pacing man before inspecting his knots.
"Ah, heh eheh, about that... Ummm, think I can have it ba-"
"No." Batman didn't even glance up from his work.
Joker frowned, "You're a real stinker, you know that? Like bat guano."
Batman shook his head, letting a little chuckle slip through. Then he froze. He must be losing his mind. Should he be letting his guard down, considering who this man was? Considering what he has done?
Taking out his rappel gun, he aimed for the nearest building, fired, and hooked it into his belt in one smooth motion. The picture of serenity. Of control. Though he was anything but fine inside.
"I heard that, you know..." Joker muttered, not even able to fully enjoy the slipped chuckle as he watched the Bat about to flee with clenched breath. He knew why his Bats was running. Knew why he was so afraid. But it didn't stop Joker's own sense of hysteria. But the Bat wouldn't leave. Not permanently.
Not so soon.
He couldn't....
Right?
"No, you didn't." Batman muttered in response, seconds before he was yanked away, upwards into the blanketed darkness of the skylit rooftops.
Joker was left standing in the street lights, scowling at the unconscious goons tied up next to him, then back up where he had last seen the vigilante disappear to. He kicked them for good measure, extracting a small measure of satisfaction as he heard a pained groan.
"Now what's it take to get through a thick skull like the Bat?" Joker sighed in exasperation, arms flopping uselessly as he gestured all around him at the empty streets. "Any takers? Any at all, hmm?"
Down the street, a lamppost -damaged earlier by Joker's rambunctious 'helping' out- creaked in protest. Sparks flew into a puddle below, a rat scurried quickly.
But none answered the burning question.
Joker's face fell.
"Of. Course noT..." His tongue clicked.
-o-o-o-
Bruce Wayne was, against his better judgement, dining out for brunch. But the pent house was emptier than ever and it was Alfred's idea to get some fresh air as the billionaire instead of the bat. He distinctly remembered what happened the *last* time he did that and he distinctly remembered the encounter he didn't FULLY go into detail with the Brit.
He remembered that conversation as well.
"You want me to kill him for you sir?" Overprotectiveness practically poured through the line.
"N-no Alfred. I don't want you to-"
"'Cos I *could* DO it, sir. Just give me the green light and I'll-"
"Alfred."
"-march right over there-"
"ALfred."
"-and kill 'im dead for you, sir. Flatter than a pancake. It's been a while since I've made a man bleed. But I'm sure it's just like riding a bike, eh?"
"There's no need to kill him, Alfred."
"..."
"Alfred, stop trying to make an earlier reservation to fly back. I'm FINE."
"Well, you bloody well better BE fine, Master Wayne. 'Cos if you're not in one piece by the time I get back, there will be hell ta pay sir."
Wayne chuckled at the memory. To think it had only been earlier that morning.
He took another bite of his fruit tart, the chocolate-flaked crust crumbling decadently onto his tongue as the grape and kiwi burst with flavor, before he dropped it with a sigh. Who was he kidding himself? No amount of sugary pastry in the world could cover the truth.
Bruce Wayne had no real life outside of Batman.
Outside of his playboy visage.
With Alfred away, he really had no true friends.
He glared down at the fruit tart accusingly.
Then stood up from the table to leave.
Only...
...to see the JOKER waltzing in the front doors.
Bruce did an abrupt face and made a beeline for the bathroom. A steady mantra of, don't see me, don'tseeme, please dear god don't see me, pounding in his head.
He ducked quickly into the restroom, the doors swinging shut as slowly as possible behind him. His steps didn't slow until he reached the farthest stall.
No sooner had he locked his marble door did he hear the bathroom doors burst open.
"Had to go that bad, Brucy? Maybe you should check with your physician. Can't be, erm, good for your health, holding it in like that." Joker's whimsical voice echoed in the empty restroom.
Bruce cursed under his breath.
That was it.
God hated him.
Crossing his arms, Bruce sighed, "How do you keep finding me, Joker?"
He glared at the door, tracking the footsteps to it, as the Joker leaned against it, "Well, ya see, Brucy... the uh, funny thing about bein' a rich stud, is the relative ease to spot one of your more, heh heh, *lavish* styles of transportation parked among the old mom and pop's versions out there."
Bruce was on the alert, taking a step forward though the other couldn't see it through the door, "What did you do to my bike?"
"Woah pretty boy," He could hear the jester throwing his hands in the air innocently, "I didn't smudge your precious ride, don't worry sweet cakes."
Bruce hedged, "Don't call me that. And... whaddaya want?"
"Why... uh.... to hang out." Joker said simply, kind of with a 'duh' overtone. He paused, kind of hesitant as he hunched, "I mean, ah, you... DID get the message from the, erm, Batman. From me...? Right? Tell me you got it."
Irked, Bruce slammed the door open, glare set in his features.
Joker had barely hopped out of the way, grinning as he announced, "*There* he is!"
"Getting a *message*..." Bruce glared pointedly, stalking over to the sink to wash his hands -who knows who touched that door- as he continued burning holes into the mirror, "is NOT the same thing as an actual apology."
Twiddling his thumbs in the corner, Joker looked upwards as he shrugged, "Uhhhhh... sure it is."
"No." Bruce frowned, vigorously washing his hands in an attempt to rid his sudden increase in anxiety and frustration -a reoccurring phenomenon that coincided with the presence of a taxing jester- as he said haltingly, "It's NOT."
Joker leaned back, crossing purple sleeved arms, "Ah, YEA, it IS."
Bruce smothered an inward groan. Fine. That's how the Joker wanted to play it?
"Well then I don't accept."
"You... *what*....?"
"Your apology is denied."
"You, erm, can't do that."
"Yes, I can. And I will. I'm not accepting it 'til I hear it from your own-" Bruce said smugly, turning to dry his hands.
Only to find the Joker close enough to touch. The painted man only inches in front of him. Bruce stepped back, voice faltering as he finished, "-two... uh, lips?"
Joker edged closer, uncannily straight-faced as he breathed a raspy, "I'm sorry that you're so... HOT."
Bruce Wayne's slow blink was followed quickly by a deeper frown.
Well that was certainly NOT what he was-
His anger faltered in the face of the clown before him, the Joker not finished as he took another step forward. To which Bruce took two back. Only for the Joker to follow slowly, burning eyes focused solely on the playboy.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help fucking that tight ass that just *begged* to be fucked. I'm sorry I licked your hole 'til you came." Bruce swallowed at the imagery, face burning at the Joker's vulgarity. But the Joker kept at it, taking step for measured step forward until Bruce had nowhere to back up to. He felt, more than saw the billionaire tremble at his proximity. At his words. And he delighted in it. His arm shot out to block escape, as Joker leaned in closer, "I'm sorry I couldn't help myself then. And I'm sorry being this close NOW has me thinking of filthy things to do to you. Alone, as we are, in this bathroom. Heck, I wouldn't mind an audience..."
Bruce couldn't look away from those hungry, black-rimmed eyes. He swallowed. Hard. The heat of the Joker filling the small gap between them. It was all too easy to picture the sinful things the Joker had done. Would do again. *Wanted* to do again.
Bruce shifted against the chilly marble at his back, feeling the opposing cold to the heat at his front.
Okay.
This had taken a wrong turn somewhere.
The purple jacketed man was so close, the hand gripping the wall, effectively blocking the opposing side of the sink -Bruce's escape- clenched into a shaky fist. Those black pits were like ebony voids as the jester closed his eyes, very form trembling. Bruce watched him closely, eyes narrowed. Throat dry.
He could feel the heat between them building. The marble wall was the only thing keeping him cool now. He had to get out of there. This silence was the damned forefront to a storm. And he couldn't afford to be caught up in it.
The Joker felt like he was about to snap.
And Bruce Wayne was the innocent bystander hiking before the ominously cracking dam. The threat of gallons of pressurized, deadly water having nothing over the whims and lusts of the mad man trapping him now. Bruce remembered the night in the limo, and he shivered. His body remembering the *heat* of the Joker. His insatiable, confident allure. The way he just KNEW how to bend Bruce's traitorous body to pleasurable heights the Bat never knew before.
Bruce Wayne felt a flush creep up his neck.
Despite everything, it had felt... glorious.
A good ache.
One he couldn't shake.
His pulse quickened at the closeness of the Prince of Crime.
Damn the mad man.
Damn him for making Bruce *want* this.
Want MORE.
But it was wrong.
So wrong.
And he was cornered.
Again.
His mind whirled, attempting to come up with a solution that had him leaving the bathroom, unscathed by the Joker's heat.
Bruce licked his lip, resolve hardening.
But then it was too late.
The Joker had not been trembling because of the chill in the air, but of his barely restrained control. And the moment those whirling blues got caught up in tracing that pink appendage, it snapped.
Joker knew the Bats would be mad. But he couldn't help himself.
"Just a taste..." Joker murmured aloud, as though it was all the excuse he needed.
Bruce made a protesting sound, readying himself to shove the man away.
Only, that mess of green hair was disappearing quickly as the jester crouched down. His sights set lower than Bruce expected.
Could have predicted.
The fumbling of a belt.
The cold slide of a zipper.
"Jok-" Bruce started to growl.
But by saving's grace, or the first step in the descent to hell, the Joker stopped Bruce before his Bat voice could rise, shaking, from his billionaire throat.
With his mouth.
Around Wayne's-
"Fuck!" Bruce exclaimed, head knocking back against the marble wall. The hand that had been reaching for the devilish man, tangling in that familiar crop of green.
Bruce attempted to gather his wits to grip lower, on the clown's vest. But Joker chose that moment to hollow his cheeks. Savagely.
"Jok- ah!" Bruce Wayne's strength failed him, the man's name caught in his throat along with all his morals and righteous anger. His knees became a mess of jello, about to slide right down to the floor.
But Joker simply gripped the playboy's hips hard enough to bruise with gloved hands, pressing the helpless billionaire against the wall as he took what he could.
The clown's mouth was like fire, and it left Bruce struggling for breath. His free hand gripped the counter top, white-knuckled. He arched with uncontrollable pleasure at each skillful swirl and suck of the Joker's dextrous tongue. He tried to flatten himself against the wall, but that just made the kneeling man growl, grab Bruce's ass harder, and practically shoving the playboy's dick further into his mouth.
Joker deep throated him.
Bruce's eyes rolled at that, a guttural moan wrenched from his throat as spikes of white hot pleasure coursed through his pinned body.
Joker hummed his approval, which only further crumbled Bruce's resolve.
Bruce's drew his gaze downward. Those scarred lips around his straining cock -traitor that it was- was an image he would never forget.
Especially if he came into that insatiable mouth.
Defiant, Bruce gathered all his strength to push the deviant away. With a sinfully loud slurp from the painted menace, Bruce managed to shove that scarred mouth just far enough that his cock had some breathing room. Joker's glare was unmatched.
"Joker, don't-"
"Don't what?" Joker interrupted with an obscene lick of his lips. It had to hurt, how hard Bruce was gripping his green mop of hair, but it didn't show. The maniac chuckled, "Don't give you what you want? What you, er, need?"
"I don't want this." Bruce glared, equally as fierce.
Joker flicked amused eyes pointedly to the erection straining inches before him, before glancing back up at Bruce. 'Oh really?' His eyes seemed to say.
"Shut up."
"Didn't say anything." Joker chuckled.
Bruce forgot about the man's gloved hands. Shouldn't have.
"Joker..." Bruce hissed, as the painted menace wrapped those talented fingers around his throbbing manhood.
His hold loosened, his knees nearly buckled, but Bruce regained it in a second, frown set in place. He couldn't afford to give the Joker an inch. The man would undoubtedly have no boundaries if he let him.
"Bruuucy..." Joker's hot breath ghosted over him, making his cock twitch.
Wayne barely stifled the groan, biting his inner cheek as he grunted, "Stop this."
"You're, ah, only torturing yourself. You know?" Joker hummed in amusement, not even trying to break out of the dark haired man's hold. Brucy was stronger than he looked. Interesting.
"Depriving a madman like yourself is... justifiable." Bruce grunted, willing his erection to go away as he briefly closed his eyes, "Anything you want is never good."
"And if you want the same thing?" Joker purred, dark rimmed eyes slanted.
Bruce's own gaze narrowed as he opened his eyes once more. He took in the crouched man as if for the first time. The jacket, curiously gone. But the Joker looked sinfully well in his green snug vest, the purple long sleeved dress shirt under it not clashing as it would on any normal person. Any SANE person.
"That makes it even worse." Bruce stated, tight-lipped. He should feel disgust for this psychopath. This murderer.
Why was it, then, when he looked at that painted face... he felt anything but?
"Ooh hoo hoo, you are a masochist, aren't you, Brucy boy?" That trademark grin spiked Bruce's heart rate in a way he absolutely did NOT want to think about.
Hell, he was supposed to be getting away from the Joker. Not letting the maniac draw him in.
"Shut up." Bruce exhaled in annoyance, releasing the jester to quickly smack Joker's hand away and tuck himself back in, sure of his ability to stand alone once more.
"Don't want me to finish that?" Joker looked disappointed as the tasteful flesh was hidden from view, though the bulge was still delightfully evident.
"No." Bruce said shortly, turning pointedly to wash his hands once more, glaring at the Joker's image -slowly standing- in the mirror as he added vehemently, "And I never will."
"Never say never, Brucy." Joker chuckled, leaning in as if it were a secret admittance.
"Shut up." Bruce snapped, raising a hand to point at him, "And stay the hell away from me."
Joker, surprisingly, obliged. He rocked back on his heels as he clicked thoughtfully, "Playing hard to get? No matter. I *like* a little, er, challenge. Spices everything up."
"You are so-"
"Handsome? Talented? Brilliant?"
"-deranged." Bruce finished with a hardened look.
"Why thank you." Joker preened, adjusting his collar as though he had just received an award.
Bruce exhaled sharply, leaning on the counter with one arm as he rubbed the crease on his brow with his other hand. He could feel the beginnings of a headache forming. No surprise there.
He headed out of the bathroom without another word, zipping up his leather jacket as he did so. He decidedly ignored the way the Joker looked at him as though he wanted to eat him. Literally and figuratively.
"Stop following me." Bruce said without turning around, paying his tab on the way out. He ignored the curious look the patron gave the painted man that was obviously behind him.
Bruce stopped abruptly just before the exit, the Joker having smoothly stepped before him, opening the door with a grand sweep of his arm.
The billionaire shook himself out of his stupor quick enough to snort and shake his head, "I'm no lady, Joker."
"But you are a prude." Joker said with a wink.
Wayne bristled, before abruptly walking through the doorway, shaking his head. When he heard the familiar hop and skip behind him, he sighed with a hard edge, "I told you to stop following me."
"Who, ah, said I was following you, hot stuff?"
Ignoring him -and the shiver that spiked through him- once more, Bruce scanned his crimson bike with a cursory glance, before shoving on his helmet.
Someone cleared their throat behind him. Loud.
One hand on his bike, Wayne sighed, turning sideways as he grudgingly sighed, "What?"
"Hoo Hee, my is it, uhh, nice biking weather."
Bruce grunted noncommittally, swinging his leg over to drop into the seat. He just barely started to turn the motor on before a certain jester decided to prop himself against the front of it, nearly tipping the bike -and consequently Bruce- right over.
To Bruce's agitated growl, Joker merely said, "Well, I commented on the weather. Aren'tcha gonna, er, offer me a ride?" At Bruce's intense look, Joker raised both hands innocently, "On the bike, of course. Just purely pal stuff. Not that, um, we can't do the other more FUN stuff later-"
"*Joker*..." Bruce trailed dangerously.
"All right, all right. Touchy subject, I get it. Sheesh." Joker corrected. But he was still leaning on the motorcycle.
"Move." Bruce said with a hardened look.
"Aw c'mon Brucy boy. I got nothin' else to do -no pun intended, though it is funny, ah c'mon you know it is- and I'm *sure* you have an extra helmet in that, er, little saddlebag of yours. I'm currently ignoring the fact that it's reserved for your little bimbos *cough* all right, all right, little tramps- okay, okay. Eh em, little lady friends, in light of the fact that you'll allow me this one, er, ride? Oh c'mon don't give that look. I volunteered to wear a, ugh, helmet. For safety. Thought you'd like that one." Joker pouted.
Who knew the madman could.
Bruce frowned.
Joker waited. Patiently. Even though his fingers tapped nervously against his vested side.
This was unnatural.
Completely.
Suspicious, Bruce said slowly, "You're... not taking 'no' as an answer, are you?"
"That is not my preference, no. Doesn't mean you can't say it." Joker shrugged airily.
Bruce's frown deepened, "Aaand, you're not gonna move from there 'til I say yes, are you?"
"No, ahh, I'm not." Joker grinned that painted grin, pleased the playboy had figured it out all on his lonesome.
There's the Joker he knew so frustratingly well.
Bruce closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could hear the jester humming to himself past his closed lids, waiting.
Without opening them, Bruce tossed the spare helmet in the madman's direction, though he questioned his own sanity at the moment.
"Fine."
What could it hurt, right?

-o-o-o-

A/N: figured you guys deserved a longer chapter after that wait.
- 7
- 8
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Even Bats Fall