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Harley's Joke	By : tooshoes Category: DC Verse Comics > Batgirl Views: 3919 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Batgirl, Harley Quinn, James Gordon or any of the characters or situations of the Batman universe. I will not be making any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 5
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Harley gets a call at 4:34 AM. She always keeps her phone with her on the bed in the unlikely case her Puddin' calls in the middle of the night. But her phone doesn't recognize this early morning caller, so it goes straight to voicemail.
Two hours later, as she is brewing a cup of coffee, she asks Alexa to play her voicemail, forgetting for a moment that she needs to invoke Siri. She feels oddly guilty for a moment, as though she is disrespecting her virtual, female servants. Even in the world of artificial intelligence, females get no respect.
When Siri plays her 4:34 AM voicemail, Harley completely forgets about the freshly brewed coffee dripping from her machine.
She hears Babsy's voice begging for her to pick up.
Harley gives her personal number to her favorite patients, but none of them had ever called before except to schedule an appointment, and of course never at such an hour.
She hears Babsy babbling crazily. "You told me to go with my feelings! You said there is nothing wrong with me! I did everything you said, and now my life is over! I just want to die!"
Harley's first thought is that Babsy killed herself because Harley missed the call, and now her Puddin' will be furious!
But Babsy keeps talking, and gradually Harley calms down and even begins to laugh. Babsy wasn't suicidal; she was as excited as she was desperate.
Despite spending much of yesterday stoned, Harley remembers just about everything that she did with Babsy, and now it's clear that her manipulations yesterday were working better than she even hoped.
Harley knew that Babsy had an unresolved Electra complex with a sexual fixation on her father, and Harley had fun pushing those buttons. But she did not consider that Babsy's famous father might share her forbidden desires, or that the little girl would throw herself at him like an animal in heat! Of course, Babsy was very young, and between the pot they were smoking and the triggers Harley placed in the girl's mind, Babsy wasn't quite herself, and she never would be again.
While Babsy recounts her dramatic tale to the digital recorder, Harley learns that the situation isn't as bad as Babsy fears. Far from it. Daddy had shown no sign of being angry with his daughter, and his letter was ripe with possibilities that Harley can take advantage of.
Babsy is an emotional mess. Her voice bounces between the extremes of euphoria and shame up until the answering service reaches its three-minute time limit and cut Babsy off.
Harley nearly makes the mistake of hitting "call back," but then she realizes she needs to plan what she will say next.
She added cream and sugar to her coffee and sipped slowly, weighing whether she needed to abandon her plans for today or expand on them.
She needs to learn more, and she knows where to look first for information.
While Babsy was recounting what she did yesterday, the girl mentioned installing the hidden camera in her father's room, and then blamed Harley for giving her a defective camera, because the camera didn't seem to work.
But Harley knows that the camera works properly. The only problem is that the feed isn't going where Babsy expects for it to go. Instead, the feed goes through Babsy's Wi-Fi and up into the cloud. Into Harley's cloud, to be exact. That is how Harley had set the camera to work, and Babsy merely moved the camera to a new location without changing anything else.
Harley walks to her living room and opens her computer. With a few clicks of her mouse, Harley opens the feed from the supposedly broken camera.
Only two events were recorded last night, with many hours of inactivity compressed into a few seconds:
First, the camera recorded Babsy plugging the camera in, followed quickly by Babsy checking out the newly discovered porn on Daddy's computer.
Some time later, Daddy came home, stretched out, stripped to his underwear, and then he performed what was likely a nightly ritual of watching his daughter on camera.
Harley watches Commissioner James Gordon, a highly respected man in Gotham, sitting on a swivel chair and watching his very young daughter, who in turn was sitting on her bed. Gordon faced away from the camera, but Harley can see most of what he was watching from over his shoulder, and she can determine his feelings from his hand and leg movements. His computer screen showed up clearly through the high-definition camera. When he saw his daughter suddenly undressing, his body straightened up. When Babsy began to masturbate, he leaned forward for a closer view. After an awkward start, Babsy escalated her show, mimicking the seductive moves from her Daddy's favorite porn videos.
Her Daddy paused the video and stood. He pressed his hands against the back of his head and paced around the room with a hard-on that his briefs couldn't contain.
Then, suddenly, he left the room, seemingly with a mission.
According to the camera's clock, he returned three minutes later, more excited than when he left. His clothes were now completely off. Harley puts together what she's seeing with what Babsy told her, and she realizes that this good cop must have undressed in his daughter's room! But now, in the recording, he was back in his own room, wiping his brow with one hand while jerking off with the other.
He sat back on the chair and resumed the video of his daughter from hours earlier. On his screen, Harley can see that Babsy was in full heat, calling out her Daddy's name.
Even Harley is getting excited!
Daddy only needed a few seconds before he exploded. Harley could see his cum shoot up like she didn't think possible -- like his body had been holding it in for years.
Harley rewinds the video a few seconds and watches again. She wishes that she could make her Puddin' feel half of the passion that she saw from Babsy's Daddy!
Then Daddy settles down, and his emotion changes dramatically.
Harley stiffens when she sees him take out his pistol. He sat quietly, pondering what he has done. Then he began to cry.
But eventually he put his gun away and got dressed. He took a blanket off of his bed. He left the room, and that's where the video ends.
Harley sighed and was thankful that Babsy never saw this. Her Daddy's letter left a far more optimistic impact, so she would focus on that.
Harley watches the video again and tries to figure out whether this dramatic turn of events is good or bad for her plans with Joker.
On the plus side, Babsy is clearly a cherry bomb! She is turning out to be an even more perfect gift for her Puddin' than Harley had dreamed. She's exactly the kind of contradiction that he loves. She's an angel and a devil fighting it out in a little girl's body. A perfect plaything.
On the negative side, Babsy is a gift that would have been completely ruined if the girl's plan to seduce her father had succeeded. Mistah J is not keen on second-hand gifts.
Only yesterday, Babsy was very confused sexually. Now she has tapped into her suppressed, incestuous feelings towards her father. Those feelings will be useful for Harley's plans later on, but for now, Harley needs to keep Babsy confused. If Babsy is constantly pining for her Daddy, she'll be no good for Joker. Harley needs to redirect that passion while at the same time reassuring Babsy that she did nothing wrong last night. Events need to occur in a specific order with specific timing. Like her Puddin' always says, a joke is all about timing.
Harley turns the events and possibilities around in her mind, and within a few minutes, she feels back on top of things.
Finally, she presses "call back" on her phone, and now it is Harley who is sent to voicemail. She would have preferred that Babsy picked up, but Harley is not deterred.
"Hello Babsy, it's Doctor Quinzel. I listened to your message from this morning. I hope you are not still upset. You did nothing wrong. For once, you were honest with your Daddy, and he was honest with you. But I don't think either you or your Daddy are ready to make such a big change in your relationship, yet. Your Daddy understands this, and that is why he passed up your invitation. He is much more experienced about these things, and he will never consider an intimate relationship with you until you can meet him at a more equal level. Do you understand? You are growing up fast, but not fast enough. You need to explore your feelings before you commit yourself to anyone or anything. Anyway, please don't worry! When your Daddy sees that you are growing up in every way, he'll come around. Trust me, I know what makes men tick! We can talk about this more when you come by in a few hours. I know just what to do! You still want to go to that Halloween party, don't you? Don't give me any excuses, like you don't have a costume! I already have that covered, and you'll love it! I expect to see you at 4 PM. I promise you'll have a great time!"
Harley smiles, feeling like she nailed the message.
And everything she said to Babsy was true. She doesn't like to lie when she doesn't need to.
She smiles with renewed confidence.
There is no reason that tonight can't be a blast for both Babsy and for herself.
Puddin doesn't mind sharing the fun. He can be generous. He often lets Harley start a joke, but he always insists on telling the punchline. Sometimes he even surprises her.
Harley looks at the clock. Babsy won't be at her house for another eight hours. Even with Mistah J taking over the party preparations, Harley has a lot of work to do before then.
She can't leave anything to chance.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Harley's Joke