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Scars	By : DarkRobin Category: DC Verse Cartoons - Teen Titans > Slash - Male/Male > Robin/Slade Views: 5258 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story and the plot.
Warning: Mentions of rape and abuse in this chapter.
Minor, Tort., n/c, a little in this chap, a lot in later chapters.

Scars: Chapter 5

Scarred

‘Something has been taken,
From deep inside of me.
A secret I kept locked away,
No one could ever see.
Wounds so deep they never show,
They never go away.
Like moving pictures in my head,
For years and years they play...’

-‘Easier to Run’-Linkin Park

TeenTitans TeenTitans TeenTitans TeenTitans TeenTitans TeenTitans TeenTitans

“What happened to you while you were Slade’s apprentice?” she asked softly. Robin almost choked on his next breath. Oxygen temporarily left him. If words could knock the wind out of you, Starfire was pretty good at this technique. He narrowed his eyes at the mention of the villain’s name and he involuntarily shuddered at a crude memory. All of the sudden he wanted to punch something. Hard. This name, no, this whole subject, just triggered a raw nerve in Robin, but he tried not to loose it again. Not after they had just confessed their love to one another. Robin let out a breath he realized that he had been holding. He somehow knew she would want to know this sooner or later, but...this was something he didn't want to tell here. Especially not now.

“I really don’t want to talk about that right now.” Robin answered sourly. His fists involuntarily clenched tightly at his sides. Trying to control the urge to yell. His breathing became shallow. He felt the blood pump in his veins. Not a good subject. Not good at all.

"Robin, now is the time to share. You already told me about your parents and I want no secrets between us. You already know everything about me." She looked up at him. Robin looked like he was having an inner battle. A small part of him wanted to tell Starfire all about what happened. To spill everything and sob in her arms. Yes, that was the small part. But the bigger half of him really did not want her to know about that particular subject. Ever. She didn't need to know, she didn't have to know. It would almost take away her innocence just to know something like this. She couldn't take this. He couldn't tell her!

Starfire turned and faced him. His face looked sturdy and solemn. For a moment she thought she wouldn't be able to get it out of her. She cupped his head in her hands, looked into his eyes, and spoke.

"I know all this is hard for you, telling me all of your darkest secrets all at one time, but you have to trust me. All of this is very important for you to tell me. I know something happened to you there, because after that, you were never the same. And your hatred towards Slade grew." She noticed his expression, he looked very uncomfortable and uncertain. So she tried a softer tone.

"You know you can tell me anything and I won't tell anyone. Please tell me, Robin. It will make both of us feel better." she finished.

All of the sudden Robin was nervous again. And he didn’t like it one bit. But what could he do now? He backed himself into a corner. How could he turn back now? He had already started spilling secrets to her, he couldn’t stop now. She didn’t want any secrets between them, and neither did he, but it was just...hard. How could he tell her this?! She would never look at him the same way again!

“I-I don’t know Star. These things,..you might not even want to know.” he tried to reason through squinted eyes. But she wouldn’t budge.

“You have to tell me Robin, it’s now or never.” Aw, now she had to go and pull the guilty card. How could he back down now? If he didn't tell her now, she wouldn't want to be involved with him! He would be accused of keeping things from her. And that would lead downhill fast. But if he did tell her, what if she rejected him?! This was not going to turn out good. Nothing good was coming out of this.

“It’s...complicated.” Robin started, fiddling with his hands. He wanted to be somewhere else at the moment. He hated this secret. But it meant so much to just tell her...he needed to tell her, now. He hesitated, then sighed heavily. Dammit. He had no fucken choice now. Shit. Here it comes. Here goes fucken nothing.

“When I, was Slade’s apprentice,...” he paused and looked angry and upset.

“He...beat me,...continually, and forced me to learn new fighting styles. And a whole new category of abuse. But, he...also did,... more.” He shuddered and glared at his hands. He couldn't believe that he was going through with this. Starfire could tell that this was very hard for him to admit. Because he was having a very hard time coming out with it.

“Slade,...ruined me in a way that no one ever should be.” He placed his head in his clasped hands, just so Star wouldn't be able to see his ashamed face while he was telling her this. “He...he fucking raped me, Star.” he whispered hurtfully, gritting his teeth, trying to prevent tears from escaping. This was all so painful.

All of the sudden he remembered all the hurt, all the pain, all the lost dignity. He relived it all over again in very quick flash backs in his head. He looked away to the side, head in his hands. He couldn’t look at her, he couldn’t even think straight. His mind was in hell all over again. Slade definitely did more to him than what it seemed. He wrecked the poor, broken hero.
Starfire couldn’t believe it at all. At first she didn’t. She refused to admit that even Slade would sink that low. She tried to look at Robin. Robin was breathing heavily and shuddering from time to time from gruesome memories.

“No...he didn’t, that bastard didn’t!” she exclaimed angrily, trying to see through him. He quietly nodded his head, so softly Starfire almost didn’t see it.

She couldn’t believe it. She suddenly got waves of disturbing images flashing in her head of what Slade did to poor Robin, and it was not a pretty picture. Starfire tried to shake the gruesome images out of her head. She just couldn’t imagine that anyone could do this to a teenager! He was still just a boy, and to violate him like that! That’s horrible! No wonder Robin was always trying to find that bastard and kill him. He fucken deserved it!

“Oh Robin, this is so-so horrible! How could he-, It’s not-” she sighed. She was very angry. How could she have not noticed this! But she couldn’t even totally blame herself, Robin hid his pain so well...

Robin was shaking softly. He did not want this to be brought up. He couldn’t take this. He was so ashamed of himself to be used like that. To be used as, as Slade’s friggen sex toy! His self torment had come to a white hot point, he was shaking uncontrollably and gritting his teeth, hard, and he was going to burst.

“He fucked me, goddamnit.” Robin said miserably, his anger rising.

“That damned idiotic bastard fucked me! GODDAMN IT! Shit.” Robin screamed in misery, holding his head and shaking. He couldn’t take the pressure or the memories too much longer.

“I feel so, so fucken used!” he said looking down sadly. He remembered it all again. Down at the old abandoned steel factory, Slade’s lair. How Slade took advantage of him by threatening his friends and overpowering him. He degraded Robin, verbally and physically, and then, Slade, without any disregard, lustfully scarred the young hero. A couple of times too. And how, afterwards, Robin broke down and cried. He downright broke down in heavy sobs. Wallowing in his own misery. And how he vowed, that one day, he would kill that bastard.

He remembered it all. It was so horrible, so painful. And the horrific memories clouded his mind. How much can one person take? Can one kid take? Especially if it’s only a kid. As much a Robin hates to admit it, he’s still kind of a kid. It was true. Too true.

Starfire put her hands on his shoulders and tried to stabilize the traumatized teen. She was coming to tears now. This was so much burden on him. She didn’t know what to say to him, how to comfort him. She had never dealt with this sort of thing before. Robin breathed deeply and loudly and a tear escaped his eyes. In a surge of shame, sadness, and anger. Hopefully, he didn't think Starfire saw. He hated this. He hated feeling so weak and subjective.

He shook his head hard. He couldn’t lose it here. He couldn’t lose it right here in front of her. He had to pull himself together, he had to be strong. For himself and for her. This was a huge thing to deal with.

Starfire was still trying to hold him and get all of this information through her brain all at once. While terrible images still flashed through both their heads. But Robin here, was in a self moral crisis.

“I knew it...I knew that bastard did something horrible to you...I could tell,...but I never thought...this...” Starfire whispered. She felt Robin’s pain and it was dreadful. But she knew that this wasn’t really helping Robin too much. But she didn’t know what to say.

Who would?

Robin just shook his head miserably and broke away from her hands.

“I shouldn’t have told you.” he shook his head again and stood up, still in tears.

“No one was ever supposed to find out and I don’t know how you got it out of me, but...you’re not supposed to know, because if Slade finds out I told, you’ll be in danger. Because of me...I can’t let that happen. And...” he looked at her, his mask drooping.

“No one...would want to be...with a guy who was...fucked by a fucking madman.” he said softly and walked away sorrowfully and angrily.

Starfire quickly got up to go follow him.

“Robin, wait!” Starfire yelled as she caught up to him.

Hoowah for cliffies. Hope u liked this. This was one of my fav. chapters. Until next time,

DarkRobin
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Scars