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I Hate Everything About You	By : MadMaryRoberts Category: DC Verse Cartoons > Batman: The Animated Series Views: 13783 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, any of its characters or any of the song lyrics I use in this fiction. I also make no money off of this story.

Chapter List
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She took her time with her shower, especially with washing off the makeup on her face. Harley turned off the shower and slipped on the robe, wrapping her hair in a towel. "Mistah P!"
The door opened, but it wasn't the butler. It was Batman and held out a pink dress to her. She was about to comment before she saw the dress.
"I found this in your bag, figured you'd want to wear it." He handed her the dress and clean underwear.
"Thanks," she closed the door and quickly got dressed. She came out feeling self-conscious.
"Never got to see you in the dress, it looks good," he didn't smile, but his voice was a lot more congenial than before.
"I neva said thanks for it."
"The kiss was thanks enough." Harley wasn't quite sure what to say. She remembered the kiss… well kisses. She remembered what happened right before then too.
"Why didn't you try to take me down?" Harley asked, "First afta the kidnapping and now. Why ain't I in Arkham with Professor Crane and Red?"
"I told you, you're the sane one. The Joker may have led you astray when you counseled him, but you're the misunderstood one not him." He put his hand on her shoulder.
"That don't answer the question a why, Bats," Harley looked down and sighed; this was all so much for her to take in.
"I'll come to that later. Do you feel better now that you've showered?"
"Yeah, first bathroom in years I been into that has all the tiles." Harley noted that Batman's eye twitched slightly; she could tell that he wanted to comment but he didn't.
"How long do I havta stay in my cell?"
"I came up here to address that," he put his hand on the small of her back, leading her out of the bathroom. "I don't really think that you'll purposefully cause any trouble, so I'm going to make you a deal."
"Yeah?"
"You may roam the house, but you can't leave it and certain rooms are off limits."
"Do ya really trust me not ta try ta escape?"
"No, Arkham's proved to me that given the opportunity you will try to escape."
"Then why are ya makin' a deal ta give me more freedom?"
"Because this house has better security; you wouldn't be able to escape if you tried."
"So it's not really a choice."
"It is. If you try to escape or go into off-limits rooms you'll just go back in the cell instead of," he opened the door to a room, "this room." It was beautiful and luxurious, burgundy and filled with dark woods. Harley was taken aback by the luxury of the room.
"This is my room?" Harley ran her hand over the furniture as she walked around taking in her surroundings.
"As long as you don't have any escape attempts. I'll even let you visit with my friend Bruce."
"Bruce? Bruce Wayne?" He nodded and then she blinked, mulling it over, "You know Bruce Wayne?"
"He and I go back a ways," he said cryptically, "I'm sure he'd like to see you again."
"He tried helpin' me out in that store… I need ta say sorry."
"For what?"
"I hit him with a mannequin arm…" she answered sheepishly.
"I'm sure he's forgiven you."
"Still…" Harley was happy enough to fall right back onto the bed. "Ah! I haven't been on a bed this soft in years!"
"It seems you haven't had much these past few years," Batman stood at the foot of the bed, obviously not finishing the rest of that thought, but Harley knew he wanted to allude to the Joker and her time together.
"Mistah J an' I never have too much ta go around, most of what we have goes ta food and clothes."
"I never did understand what you saw in him," he sounded a little disappointed even sad maybe… no he was Batman he wasn't sad for anyone that'd been in or out of Arkham.
"He's an outcast, a lot like me and he accepts me even when I mess up," a little of her accent faded away as she spoke in her matter of fact tone.
"That's why he always kicks you out?" Batman raised an eyebrow in question.
"Sometimes he jus needs space. At least he's loyal ta me."
"He looked pretty cozy with Victoria…"
"Yer just jealous…" Harley huffed, sitting up on the bed while crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.
"Of what?" he scoffed.
"Mistah J!"
"Why? What possible reason could I have for being jealous of that clown?"
"Love."
"What?"
"Love. He has someone who loves him, someone to come home ta, someone ta comfort him and help him when he needs it!" Batman shot up, his eyes narrowed.
"Too bad he feels none of that for you," he turns and leaves the room, his face only barely affected.
Harley was left there on the bed in her robe, staring at the door, confused. 'Is it true? Is he jealous? Maybe. Even if he is just jealous, is he wrong?' Harley hugged a pillow against her, 'Jack has never been very affectionate. He's kept me on for so long, there has to be something there, right?' Harley sighed before deciding to look around her new room. 'A guy like Batman, wouldn't he be knee deep in girls? I mean, it's not like he's a jerk… he's pretty easy on the eyes too. Tall, dark and handsome, heh.'
She started rummaging around the chest of drawers, seeing a bunch of fine clothes, underwear, and some stockings. 'Women's clothes? Who for? Does he always take someone here?' She snickered to herself, 'Maybe that's it, he's a playboy… Richies are a lot of the time.' She scrunched her nose and dropped the pair of panties she'd been holding during her contemplation. 'Who knows where those have been…' When she looked around in the other drawers, she found tags on almost everything. 'New?'
Thinking more on her particular situation, Harley was actually a little happy. 'This is the nicest place I've ever been… well contained in.' Alfred came in with another cart of food, roast beef and vegetables with a plate of the cookies they'd made earlier. She blushed realizing that she'd just left her task, "Thanks Mr. P."
"You're very welcome," he smiled noticing the drawers open, "Are the clothes to your liking? I'm not all that up to date with the latest women's fashions."
"All these are mine?"
"Yes Ma'am. Wear anything you like. They should fit if my measurements were sufficient."
"I'll let you know, thank you so much," she smiled starting to eat she was ecstatic about her new wardrobe, she'd never really never had that many. Harley sighed feeling bad about arguing with Batman. Even if she was right, it didn't make her feel any better… and she was right.
Looking at the door, she decided to try and look around the house after her meal and getting dressed, maybe to apologize to Batman. There were a bunch of halls, the house was a manor. She found the study, there was a fire going but the room was empty. Walking in, she ran a hand along the spines of books. Some of the books had dust on them, others didn't. There were a few books on the desk. Something in particular caught her eye on the desk.
In bold headlines, a newspaper read: "Joker Returns to Arkham!" Her heart stopped. 'I havta let him out! But how? I can't do it from here! What am I gonna do? Can't chance losin the little trust he has fa me. I don't know the layout well enough to be able to get out for sure the first time. I can't contact anyone without him knowing. I have no way to get around Batman with weapons or chemicals. Ok, ok think… what resources do ya have, Harl?' Harley's mind went racing but eventually coming up with nothing practical.
Harley went over towards the fire and sat down in front of it. 'What would Red do here? Well she'd probably use her lipstick to make him want her… note ta self: borrow Red's lipstick fa Mr. J. I don't have any plants here either so that's out… What about seduction? Whoa whoa whoa! That's Red's gig not mine. Maybe if I had Red's body… well maybe it's more than that. What am I doing seriously considerin' seducing the big bad bat? What was that she used to say? Ah yeah: Harley, it's all in the attitude. If you have the confidence, men will be like flies to your sugar. If you act like you know what you're doing chances are they won't question what you do. Find out what they like and stick with it; push their buttons.'
Could she do that? Could she chalk up the confidence to actually seduce Batman? 'Nah,' she considered, 'Even if I could… I couldn't betray Mistah J like that!' She sat in conflict. She'd always been a very faithful partner. Was there really anything else she could do? Her mind found no answers. As loyal as she was and as adamant as she was about being a one man girl, she did say, almost as much, that she'd do anything for him. Does tempting the enemy count?
"Madame, are you in here?" Harley didn't answer; she hid, crouched low behind the desk, held her breath, and listened. She waited for a moment after complete silence and then the door closed. She waited a little longer before peeking out from behind the desk. Harley didn't know why she hid, she just felt the need, instincts from years of sneaking around with Mr. J.
Harley snuck back to her room. Considering her course of action concerning Mr. J, she figured that even though the hiding was just instinct, it could work to her advantage to feign ignorance of the situation. 'If I have to end up temptin' Batman I need ta take it slow, he won't be easy to win over. Talking about Mistah J only annoys him, so I'll just back off talking about him.'
She shed her dress and just crawled into the soft down comforter. Could she really do this? Was she capable? The only thing she knew she had to do was go all of the way one direction or the other; there was no room for pussy footing. And with this conclusion, she slowly drifted into sleep.
Harley woke up early, used to it. For a second her mind told her to grab her glasses, then another second later it told her to pull her hair up into pigtails and start applying her makeup.
Turning in the bed, the feel of the down comforter brought her back to all that had happened the previous day/s. She slowly slid out of the bed, barely conscious. Idly she thought on her hyenas, hoping the henchmen took good care of them. 'Psh… we pay 'em enough… I'll knock 'em out if anything happens to my babies.' She found a red dress, a simple short sleeved cotton number. She put it on then looked at herself in the mirror, admiring her shape in the dress.
As she pulled up her hair into the ponytail she wondered if Joker had ever seen her sans makeup and without her bun and glasses. 'Maybe I should come around him like that… Would he like it?'
There was a knock at the door, "Madame?"
"Yes Mistah P?" She straightened out her dress and opened the door for him.
"Breakfast Madame. Eggs Benedict and an English muffin with field fresh strawberries." He pushed the cart in. "You look rather sharp, Dr. Quinzelle."
"Thanks Mistah P," she gave him a sweet smile as she sat down to eat. "Oh uh… do ya think I could speak with B-man when he's available?"
"Master Batman will be with you shortly, Madame."
"I could go ta him if he's just gettin' up," she offered.
"No need," Batman said, standing at the doorway.
"Oh hey Bats," Harley kept eating. Batman nodded to the butler who inclined his head before closing the door behind him.
"You wanted to talk to me?" his face looked slightly agitated.
"I'm sorry B-man."
IF indeed he were surprised, he didn't show it, "For what?"
"Fa yesterday, I'm sorry fa yellin' at ya and fa what I said."
He nodded, "Apology accepted. By the way, you look good."
"Thanks ta you, Batman," she puffed her chest out a little and gave him her sweet child-like grin.
"My butler informs me that you were wandering around last night."
"Oh. Yeah, I was feelin' a bit restless, figured I'd do a little explorin'."
"Just the halls?"
"A few rooms were open so I just went in and looked around."
"The study?"
"Why so curious about the study?" she asked it in a mocking tone but really she was very very nervous. Had she been caught?
"Did you go in there?" he asked seriously, his tone rather clipping.
'What's so important about the study? Is it a way out?' "Yeah I went in but I got bored and moved on." She shrugged and continued to eat her breakfast particularly enjoying the strawberries. He seemed a little less tense after she dismissively answered him.
"Do you like it here?" he asked.
"Yeah it's really nice, thanks fa takin' me in."
"After breakfast, come to the study, I want to chat."
Harley was wiping her face with the napkin, "Alright but what abou…" he'd disappeared, "I hate it when he does that," she'd finished off her breakfast and headed towards the study. When she got there she saw Batman sitting in one of the plush leather chairs in front of the fireplace.
"Ya wanted ta see me?" she sat down in the other chair. For the first time, she looked above the fireplace and noticed the portrait of the small family hanging there. "Family?" she asked nodding towards the portrait.
"Yes."
"They seem nice, least as far as looks go," she complimented, "Could picture em as a big lovin' family… but can't really judge em fairly on looks."
"They were good parents."
"Were?"
"Dead."
"Oh, sorry to hear that," she felt guilty for bringing it up. Batman only nodded in response, "I know what it's like to lose a parent if it makes ya feel any better."
"Hmm?" he looked interested… well as interested as Batman can look.
"Yeah, my mom died when I was young… breast cancer, but I'm happy at least I got ta say g'bye," she sighed.
"Lots of people don't get that luxury," he kept his gaze up at the portrait.
"What luxury?"
"Saying goodbye," his face didn't look that affected.
"Yeah, I know that was lucky fa me," Harley looked down at her folded hands in her lap.
"Do you miss her?" there was a small hint of sincere curiosity.
"Well, yeah, course I do, but it was a long time ago and there's no reversin' it," Harley shrugged, it'd been a long time since she'd spoken of her mother.
"My parents were murdered," he seemed just a little graver than normal. It wouldn't seem like much to most people but when Batman didn't show much general emotion any small sign could have meant so much more.
"That musta been hard…" Harley, as tough as she could be, was very sympathetic to people. She had a bleeding heart that bled even for people she should have hated. "I'm sorry but if it makes ya feel betta, your parents are watching over you and I'd bet everything that they're really proud."
"Are you so sure of that?" Batman looked down to his own lap before pensively glancing back up at the portrait.
"Why wouldn't they be? You save people all the time, you're strong an' smart and you work hard at what you do, it's a lot for anyone ta handle."
"Do you really believe all that," a rather raw glimpse of cynicism was thrown her way from him.
She was thrown back a bit and was slightly offended, "Course I do! Ya know how proud ya were at Robin? How proud ya were when he turned to Nightwing? An' Batgirl. So far crime around the city is crippled cause of you. You manage ta stop it all eventually." Harley had forgotten the sheer satisfaction of reassuring and reinforcing to help others.
"If you're so sure that I'll stop you, why do you commit crimes?"
"I'm not in this fa money, Bats," Harley looked at him with a half hearted smile.
"Fame, then?"
"Ya got me pegged all wrong. Fame's ova rated."
"I'll agree with that, but if not for fame or money, what's your motivation?"
"The company," Harley shrugs situating herself sideways in her chair, her knees on one arm and her back on the other.
"The company?" he raised an eyebrow, having an idea of what she was talking about, but wanting her to expound on it anyways.
"Well, yeah. The company I have bein' Harley Quinn is tha reason I am Harley Quinn."
"So basically, because of the Joker?"
"Originally that was the case. Once he kicked me out the first time, I only wanted ta prove myself with capturin' you and then just move on. Second time it was with tha Harlequin diamond."
"You went on quite a crime spree with Poison Ivy to just want to prove yourself."
"Wrong again B-man. Provin' myself was the original plan, sure, but I was jus havin fun with Red. It's not about tha money like I said before, it never was."
"So it's all about the Joker?"
"Not all, most. I have friends." Another raised eyebrow from Batman led her to continue. "Friends are friends. I may not have many, and they may not be completely legit, but they care about me and look out fa me."
"You can't find friends other than Arkham inmates?"
"Nah, not really."
"How does that work?"
Harley stopped to think for a moment, "Somethin' about me… I dunno what it is but people like me, but not enough ta commit, like I've always been just a joke. I guess that's why I connected so well with Mistah J, he was a joke too, I guess."
"He may have been in his childhood, maybe. He's no joke now, whatever the case of his past may be."
"Am I a joke to you?"
Batman stopped to carefully consider the meaning behind her question and how he was going to answer it before he did. "You're not the most dangerous out there, but you are no joke. The fact that you're not the most dangerous can work in your favor though, element of surprise."
Harley tilted her head and furrowed her brows; was Batman trying to make her feel better? "Do you think I'm a joke?" she asked her voice a little quieter than before.
"I think you're a fool."
"Why?" she sat up. She didn't ask the question angrily but like a curious little girl chalked full of questions.
"You take abuse from a clown that doesn't care for you."
"He cares fa me more than he does for most everybody else, and that's enough fa me."
"Beating you around is caring?" he seemed to get
She winced at the question, "You know just as well as I do how warped Mistah J is."
"He's psychopathic, but his behavior outside of crime follows that of others, he's evil but not completely insane."
"What are ya sayin, Bats?"
"He acted with normal affection towards Victoria, why not with you?" He was purposefully pushing at her weak spots.
"Why are ya asking me all this?" her tone was a mixture of anger and hurt.
"I want you to see how much better off you'd be whithout him in your life, " he had a note of sincere concern in his normal stoic tone, "because you seem pretty miserable to me."
"Why does it matter to ya if I'm happy or sad?" Harley was starting to get suspicious to say the least about their conversation.
"I don't know," he said it with such certainty; it really caught Harley off guard.
"Ya don't know? Do ya really have me here for no reason?" her tone was getting slightly heated.
"I have to reha-"
"NO! No ya don't! There is no need for me ta be here! You're lying! Tell me the real reason why I'm here!"
He didn't stand up but his presence was just as strong and passionate as if he had, "Because I don't want to see you suffer and throw your life away anymore with a psycho that doesn't love you. I want this destructive cycle to end before you do!" He was tensed in his chair.
"What about Harvey, or Cats? What about any other bad guy that seems ta hold back fa you?"
"Because Catwoman has helped me in the past and Harvey is too far gone. You have a chance if you just let yourself have it. Let go of that damn clown and I'll help you start up a new life. I know that unlike the rest of maniacs, you can accept help. Harleene just let me help you!"
Harley stopped for a moment to think about her situation. Deciding to see his motives, she pushed him forward, she pressed on. "It's not like ya care so what's the big deal?" 'I hope this works…'
This time he did stand up and walked to her to grip her shoulders as he crouched in front of her, "I do care!" Despite herself, Harley blushed as he gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze to emphasize his words. "I don't want to see you wste your life loking for something from someone who doesn't give; he'll end up being the death of you, Harley!"
Harley looked as if he'd slapped her in the face she was so shocked. That was the first time he'd ever called her Harley and it struck a chord in her somewhere, releasing an exciting and confusing rush of warmth through her. She opened an closed her mouth before eventually she said, "Do… do ya want something from me?"
He paused for a moment looking at first confused but then suspiciously quiet before he said, "What do I want from you?"
"Yeah, everyone always wants something when they keep me around," she noticed he was staring straight into her eyes and she could swear that she'd seen those eyes before…
"What about Ivy?" He asked the question rather defensively.
"Company. Just cause she can be cold doesn't mean she lost her social nature," 'C'mon Bats, keep going…' she thought even though she wasn't exactly sure where she wanted him to keep going to.
"What do you think I want from you?" his voice faltered only the slightest bit, but she caught it. Was he being… emotional?
"That's what I've been trying to get you to tell me," she watched him closely. Was he leaning in closer towards her. She tried a new question when he wasn't answering her. "Why do ya care about me? Ain't I just another crazy?" His inching was unconscious, she was almost sure of it. Her training in body language told her the intimate touch on her shoulders and the subconscious leaning forward meant something very particular indeed, but her mind refused to process. She noticed now he was inches away, looking like he was restraining himself from doing something.
404 error, unable to compute.
She was snapped out of it when he started backing away and stroked her cheek. "I don't know." Seeing the stain of pink on her cheeks at his previous proximity, he stood up and back away from her, his stoic façade back in place, "This conversation is done." He quickly turned and briskly shot out the study.
'What. Was. That?' Harley's heart was beating rapidly in her chest. Putting her hand over her beating heart she thought, 'And what's this? Why am I acting like this… could he really be…' Her mind was going a million miles a second. When it all clicked together a dark look crossed her face and she rivaled the Joker himself at that moment. 'Gotcha.'
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I Hate Everything About You