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PASR: The Fluff	By : Kailean Category: Comics > Squee! Views: 1719 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Squee!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The Fluff: Chapter Four

Señor Diablo's POV

“Here you are, Juan.” My mortal wife said cheerfully as she placed a plate full of apple cinnamon hotcakes, bacon, and hash browns in front of me at the kitchen table. She knows that my name isn't really Juan, and that I am, in fact, Satan. I suppose that, having known me as “Juan” for quiet a few years before learning of my true nature, she has simply continued to call me that out of habit.

“Why, thank you, Rosie. This looks wonderful.” She beamed adoringly, and began fixing herself a plate, but before she could finish there was a swift knock at the door. She abandoned her dish to answer it, but it opened right after the knock, which I knew was only a courteous gesture that our son had adopted shortly after leaving for kollege. He was always such a polite boy.

“Pepito! What a nice surprise.” Rose Mary's arms were around my spawn before he could even close the door. “Won't you have breakfast with us? How's skool? How's Todd? You could have brought him with you, you know. The poor dear could probably use some family time, even if it isn't with his own family.” I could hear her tone become slightly darker near the end. Yes, that is my lovely wife, and the future Queen of Hell, might I add. Always so caring. As a social worker, parents like Todd's bring her much grief.

Pepito smiled at being bombarded with questions before he could get so much as a “hello” in edge wise. I know that feeling well as it is pleasantly thrust upon me whenever I return from long “business” trips.

“Hello, Mother.” He returned the hug, and placed a lite kiss on her cheek before following her into the kitchen. “Skool is fine. I have A's in all my classes except one so far this semester, and I think I can bring that one up.” The last part was added quickly when I gave him a questioning look.

“Oh, that's great sweetie! We're both so proud of you. Aren't we, Juan?”

“Yes, dearest. Of course we are proud of you, Son. So, how is Todd?” I asked pointedly, yet without revealing that I knew of the latest events in his life. Oh yes, I had seen it all by the hellish light given off by the glowing vortex of the all seeing eye in the basement....though some parts I had chosen not to watch. As such, I had a pretty good idea as to why he was here.

Apparently, my question was enough to make him nervous, because when he took a seat it was beside his mother instead of across from her and next to me, which would have been the more logical place. “Oh, he's...okay. He is, uh, really busy with skool work at the moment.”

I fought back a disappointed sigh at his pathetic lie. The son of The Devil should really be able to tell a decent lie. Sometimes, though I love her, the boy is just too much like his mother. “I see.”

“That's too bad, Pepito. Be sure to send him our love.” Rose Mary piled a huge stack of hotcakes onto his plate, and he nodded as he dug in. “Hey, I know! Why don't I make you two a care package?”

He shallowed a mouth full of food before replying. “Sure. Thank you, Mother. Do you think you could throw in some double fudge, chocolate chip brownies?”

She gave him a scrutinizing smirk. “Are you going to eat them all on the way back? Again.”

“Of COURSE not, Mother. I have to admit, however, that it is rather tempting. You do make the best brownies in existence, after all.”

He smiled deviously, but his voice was pure sugar. It was what he did when he was about to tell an obvious lie, well, more obvious than usual, but still expected to get his way. How in all the dark recesses and compartment stores of Hell and Earth did the little imp get so damn spoiled?!

“Oh, you! Okay, you can have the brownies, but I expect them to last you more than a day.” Ah, that was how.

He gave her a bright smile before going back to the hotcakes. I slowly sipped my coffee, waiting for him to finish. Meanwhile, our old half-wolf, Woofles, trotted in, and headed straight for Pepito, who was just as excited to see her. I saw him slip a piece of bacon under the table while he thought I was not looking.

“I saw that, Pepito. Don't feed the dog at the table.”

“Yes, Father. Sorry Woofles.” He patted her head sadly, as if we hadn't been over this countless times since she was a pup...when they were both pups. I gave her to him for his seventh birthday because he was lonely in New York, and confused about his duel lineage. Woofles is half hellhound, just as Pepito is half demon, and the two formed a close bond.

He was eating decidedly slow, so I concluded that I should give him a little hint to pick up the pace. I am a busy person, after all. Much like the U.S. Mail man, my job is never done, and I don't get many holidays. Even so, I like to think that my system is more accurate. “That was a marvelous meal, Rosie darling, but I think I had better be off. I have a big deal to close in D.C. today. It was nice seeing you, Son. You should stop by more often. It seems like you haven't helped me out in the basement in ages.”

I smile at his frown as I stand to leave. I know he isn't exactly fond of helping me in the basement, especially when it needs rearranging.

“Wait. Father, can we talk about something?”

Finally. I sat back down. “Yes, let us talk, but it will have to be quick.”

He pushed his half-eaten food away, and looked back and forth between his mother and myself unsurely. It was actually quite unnerving as he is usually very self-assured. “Mother. Father. You, uh, both like Todd, right?”

Rose Mary smiled at what she had apparently decided was not going to be as startling a revelation as she had previously assumed from his tone. “Of course we do, honey.”

I nodded in accord. As the first great rebel, it is rather difficult to dislike someone who stands up to the pressure of one such as myself at the age of eight.

“Well, uh, I like him too...a lot.”

We both stared at him as if he had announced that he was the Antichrist, or that he liked the old Star Wars movies better that the new ones. My son, the master of the obvious stuff.

Seeing our reaction, he attempted to clarify the previous statement. “What I mean is, I love him. I think I'm... I'm in love with him.”

Once again, not a huge surprise. I looked to my wife to see her practically radiating happiness. That was somewhat unexpected, what with her always having been such a “good Christian woman”. I think that perhaps instead of being a good Christian woman, she is a good woman who is also a Christian.

“Oh, honey! I'm so glad you finally decided to admit it. Have you told Todd yet?”

The shock on his face made me chuckle. “What?! You mean you knew? I've, uh, kind of told him.”

“You know, Son, though I commend you on your improved ability to hide your infernal nature, you are still not the most subtle being on the planet. We shall have to work on this if you are to become lord of this world.”

“Yeah, about that.” He shallowed hard, “What do you think would happen if I were to, say, marry Todd?”

I felt my eyes grow wide. I had not expected it to go quite as far as marriage. Hadn't they only just started a relationship, even if the signs had been there for years?! “Son, is he pregnant?!”

They both looked at me, bewildered, as if to ask if that was possible. I seriously considered telling them that it was. Alas, now was no time for the trickery that I so love. Maybe later. “If you were to marry Todd, or any man, it would put a damper on your campaign as the Antichrist. While I do not care, you know that the people in this culture are not particularly accepting of such things.”

“I know.” Pepito hung his head gravely. Rosie put her arm around him comfortingly, and Woofles rested her head in his lap. There was a small pause. “Father, what if I don't want to be the Antichrist?”

For the first time in many centuries I was stunned into silence. I definitely had not seen that coming. My son, not want to be the Second Coming of Damnation? How could that be?! He had always seemed so proud of his demonic powers, even pretending to be a superhero. Maybe I should have told him to be the villain? After a long moment I finally spoke. “Pepito, it is your destiny.”

He signed miserably, raising his head to look at me. “Father, it isn't fair. Humans have free will. Angels have free will, or you couldn't have chosen to rise up against The Authority. Why does everyone get a choice, but me?!”

Despite all the rules he was breaking, or maybe because of them, I inwardly smiled. This was a very familiar situation indeed. But did he have the will to back it up? “I am sorry, Son, but as your Lord and Master it is my will that you fulfill your role, and rise up to bring ruin upon the Earth. So it has been written, so shall it be! Plus, I have already had Carl Rove reborn upon this Earth so that he may help you rise to power, and build an evil regime of unholy doom as he has helped so many others throughout the centuries.”

His eyes never left my own. They were glowing with the color of embers, indicating rage, but there was also a glimmer of moisture. It was getting harder not to smile. I could almost see the mental shackles breaking. “No.”

“What did you say to me?” Luckily, I am a much better actor than my son.

“I said no, Father. I refuse.” His voice was firm, though I knew he was afraid. What he was doing was almost unprecedented. “So, what now?”

“You will not change your mind about this? No matter the consequences?”

“I will not.”

“Then you are free to do as you wish.” My smile finally broke through. I had never had so much respect for my son. I had never expected him to follow in my footsteps so throughly, so bravely.

His noble front crumbled into confusion. “I can?! But I thought-”

“That I wished for you to blindly follow religious dogma or the orders of another? How easily you forget my first cause.”

I watched as Rose Mary pulled him into an embrace so tight that, had he been a full human, he might have broken. She was, no doubt, very pleased with him as well, but for very different reasons. When she was finished with him for the time being, I brought him into a hug of my own.

“Pepito, I have never been more proud to call you my son.”

He returned the hug weakly, still in awe of the outcome of his rebellion, which had gone much better than mine, by the way. “Thanks Dad.”

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Notes:

-The “all seeing eye” in hell is a 13 Ghosts reference. Traditionally, I think the all seeing eyes is a Freemason symbol and belongs to God.

-“The Authority” is a name for the God of the Church, who is actually a false God (kind of like in some Gnostic beliefs) from the His Dark Materials books. The first one (The Golden Compass AKA Northern Lights) is being made into a movie that will be released in December. It's going to be amazing. Check it out here: [link]

-I don't think that Pepito's mom has a name in the comic so I decided to name her Rose Mary after Rose Mary's Baby. If she does have a name that I've missed, let me know, and I will change it.

-"Master of the obvious stuff" was inspired by Wild Wild West.

-The idea of Carl Rove being an agent of Satan is from American Dad...and real life.

-Pepito and his family belong to Jhonen Vasquez.
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PASR: The Fluff