Just A Facade | By : shewillnotbenamed Category: DC Verse Cartoons - Teen Titans > General Views: 4625 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans comic nor cartoons, nor do I make any money from this story. |
And now the chapter you've all been waiting for! (Just kidding) ;)
"Amoris vulnus idem sanat, qui facit. Translation: The wounds of love can only be healed by the one who made them". Syrus Publilius
Raven awoke refreshed and relaxed. She got out of bed and stretched her arms over her head. One of her rare smiles graced her lips for seemingly no reason at all. She still had to remind herself not to say "Good Morning, Richard," whenever she woke up. Even though he hadn't slept next to her for about 10 days now. Her smile faltered when she looked at the pillow next to hers, she saw that he wasn't gazing up at her with his sexy, sleepy smile. Raven had been confined to her room. Barely leaving to grab something to eat and to bring justice to the Jump City streets. She felt like something was missing in her life and she couldn't quite fill the void. She just felt so...empty. Ben had promised her he'd make her forget Robin, but she barely knew him. She doubted she'd even see him again.
The violet eyed girl couldn't deny that she did want to see him again. Something about him drew her in. Raven grabbed her usual uniform and took it with her into the bathroom so she could change. Remembering the ordeal with Slade that had led to all her problems, she still wasn't going to change out of her clothes alone in her room. Raven brushed her teeth and stepped into the shower and turned the knob for cold water. She let it pour over her as she showered. It felt like a month without him. She found it a little easier to try her best not to think about it. She still couldn't deny the obvious, Robin wasn't there. He wasn't going to kiss her good morning. He wasn't going to tell her that he loved her. He wasn't going to curl up next to her at night, showering her with kisses while displaying his undying love for her.
She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and continued going through the notions of her routine. Everything was the same, just without Robin. She put on a leotard and walked into her room still half expecting to see Robin sitting up in bed half-naked and waiting for her. God, she how missed him. The dark girl sighed. She grabbed her cloak and headed for the door.
Roof of Titan's Tower
"Peace and quiet," she sighed, sitting in lotus position. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos," she chanted. She continued repeating her mantra. She had been at this for about 2 hours now. Her emotions were not the cause of her problems, it was her life that was stressing her out. Sometimes she just wanted to meditate to calm herself down and ponder her thoughts. In this state she was so relaxed, that she was able to zero in on the thoughts or aura of anyone within a five mile radius.
"I know you're behind me, Robin," she said calmly, without opening her eyes.
"S-sorry, Raven, I just wanted to come here to... to clear my thoughts-without disturbing you..." Things between them were strained to say the least. Saying that things between them weren't tense would be like saying that Robin's outfit wasn't colorful enough and just needed a few pink stripes. Saying that things between them weren't tense would be like saying that Raven had secret aspiration to be a platinum blond. Hopefully neither of which had crossed their minds. It appeared that Robin, too, was having difficulties going through his daily routine without her.
It all felt wrong-and strange.
"Raven, wait, I-" And for the second time in a week and a half, Raven had slammed the door in his face. Why did this keep happening? Had they been lovers so long that they couldn't be friends? Robin knew that he didn't want to be just friends. If he could have just told her that and just kissed her one last time, held her in his arms. Robin involuntarily clenched his fists at the thought. Then maybe she'd understand. It seemed as though Raven was reverting back to her old ways of being cold and antisocial towards everyone-even him. She never wore her hood down anymore and barely spoke. Well that was when he actually saw her.
Was she having hurting as much as he was inside?
Robin could barely tell much of anything anymore because he hadn't slept ever since he received that news about Slade. And ever since he and Raven broke up. Robin had felt like he was at war with himself and his emotions were so mixed up. If Robin knew his duty was to lead his team and protect Jump City from villains like Slade, why did he feel like he was making another horrible mistake? He just wanted to go back to when life wasn't this hard, when things had been so simple... Like the very first time he had given Raven her first kiss. He still remembered it like it was yesterday...
Flashback
Raven led a weakened and injured Robin over to the bed. "Lay down, Robin," she instructed pushing him gently onto the bed. "Does it hurt here, too?" Raven asked, applying pressure to an area near a wound on his left side. Robin winced in pain and nodded helplessly. She removed her hood and examined the slashes in his uniform top closely. They were in the treatment facility in the tower. The Titans Leader had received a few nasty gashes while fighting the Hive. A few of Jinx's energy bolts had grazed his chest during the battle. Thankfully, they weren't very deep injuries and they had still won the fight. Raven grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head and tossed on the chair in the corner.
"Raven...?" Robin asked nervously, in response to his now naked chest.
"I cannot reach your injuries fully unless your shirt is off," she replied with her expression stoic. She tried to focus on the task at hand, instead of Robin's strong, firm chest. "I'm going to need to put some antibacterial on them first so they don't get infected. It would take a lot longer to heal if they do. Hold still, this is going to sting a little..." She poured some on a gauze pad and dabbed it on his wounds. He gripped the bed frame so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Her fingers glowed a deep blue as she infused her energy into his wounds. Robin instantly relaxed at her soothing touch. Her cool hands glided across his chest, flitting from laceration to laceration, filling them in without leaving any traces of scars.
"The worst is over, you can relax now," she said with a slight smile. He took a few furtive glances at her now unhidden perfectly symmetrical, blemish free face. Robin couldn't help but feel guilty that she had to care for him like this, even if he got to see her smile, which rarely happened. He just wished he wasn't so...weak.
"Thank you, Raven. I wish you didn't have to waste your energy on me... I just-I could have prevented this, I should have been faster-" he began, feeling his fingers curl into a fist. Raven placed a hand on his tense one.
"It's alright, Robin, you're only human," she murmured. "And even for a someone who isn't human...to do what you do...would still be pretty difficult." Robin's expression softened, he smiled.
"That would be an understatement," he remarked. "You know, right now, I'm not seeing why they call you 'the wisest titan'.
"Oh, really?" Raven quirked a slender eyebrow. "Well I'm constantly reminded why they call you the cockiest titan. I'm sure even Beast Boy could have beaten Jinx today."
"Ouch, Raven, you really know how to massacre an ego," he said with a laugh. And his laughter was like music to her ears. Her cheeks tingled. But why? Why was she thinking such thoughts? She couldn't. Not about Robin, he was her best friend, her teammate, her leader-nothing more. Robin sat up in bed and looked at her, sitting in the chair next to the bed he was lying on.
"Robin, you shouldn't be sitting up, you need to rest, I only just healed you... You don't want your wounds to reopen again." She leaned over the bed again, her face mere inches from his, trying to push him onto the bed again. He stopped her by touching her forearm and the spell-caster flinched. All of a sudden Batman's former sidekick took on a serious expression.
"I really would like to apologize..." he murmured. He sure looked pretty sorry. "All of this," Robin gestured to the hospital style bed and the first aid kit. "Could have been avoided..."
"Don't stress it. ...You were...just trying to save Starfire..."
"She was almost seriously hurt and I...blame myself, I could never let her get hurt," he responded sadly. Raven suddenly looked very interested in her fingers.
"I know, Robin...I know..." They sat for a few minutes in awkward, tense silence all the while, avoiding each others eyes.
He didn't know exactly what was troubling her, but he did know that he had always hated to see her down... He cared for her deeply in a way he didn't quite understand. Around her he could just be and he never had to explain himself to her. "I guess I'll leave you to your thoughts then..." she said, rising from her chair next to the bed.
"Wait!" he cried. Robin sat up abruptly and grabbed wrist and pulled her back to him, not anticipating the sudden movements, she tripped over the first aid kid on the floor. He fell back down onto the mattress, with the purple haired sorceress on top of him. She landed onto his bare chest and looked up at him with a strange glimmer of a hidden emotion in her eyes and her cheeks scarlet.
"Are you okay...?" he asked.
"I-I'm fine...I just...tripped..." she stammered.
Her cheeks remained flushed as soon as she realized that her torso was on top of Robin's. The owner of said chest seemed to realize it too, as his cheeks were fairly red as well. He had never been this close to a girl before. Definitely not one this interesting and smart. And even though he had never thought much of it before, she looked unlike any girl he had ever seen. The way she looked was something like...breathtaking. Robin inwardly kicked himself for thinking such thoughts. He was sure she never thought things like that about him. He wondered what she was thinking. Probably about how much an immature clutz she thought he was, putting her in a situation like this. Raven was too otherworldly to come into close contact with everyday mortals like himself.
And yet she continued to stare at him with her unreadable expression, something along the lines of flustered amusement; their faces were mere inches apart and her sweet breath tickled his nose as it flowed from her slightly parted pink lips. He couldn't help but stare at her mouth and wonder, was it as soft as it looked? Before he could stop himself, he pressed his lips to hers. Her mouth was more succulent than he could have imagined and for a blissful minute, his mind went blank. He didn't see. He didn't think. He only felt. There was nothing but the warm body on top of him and the mouth that moved slowly against his.
There was only Raven...
Knock Knock Knock
The two birds separated, blushing profusely. An unsuspecting lamp blew up and and before he could blink, Raven was at least a yard away from him. She placed the first aid kit on the nightstand where the lamp once was. "Friend Robin?" a worried, gentle voice called from the other side of the door.
Knock Knock Knock
Raven ran her fingers through her hair and walked swiftly to the door. Before the door had completely opened, a red-haired alien bolted through it, like it was on fire. "Dearest Friend! I have the feelings of guilt for the injury that was bestowed upon you for rescuing me at your own expense. But I must express to you my undying gratitude for the security my well being," Starfire recited without taking a breath.
She paused and her eyes wandered his now bruise-free torso. She blushed deeply. "But you are...unharmed?" Robin couldn't help but smile at her naivete, she always so selfless and kind. He felt that had to protect her today and he would time and time again. He simply didn't want to see or even imagine Starfire in pain.
"It's alright Star, Raven healed me. I'm better It's alright now." Starfire beamed and tackled him in a suffocating hug.
"Oh, Friend Robin!" she cried enthusiastically. "I thank you for saving me." Starfire seemed to only just notice Raven standing near the door. "And I thank you too Raven..." she said, her tone a bit uncertain.
"Don't mention it," she replied in her usual monotone. Robin looked at her, blushed, then looked away. "I'm going to meditate. And Starfire try not to hug him so hard, we wouldn't want anymore bodily harm inflicted upon him today."
She tread noiselessly out of the room. And after she was gone, Starfire finally released him. She began her usual chatter, inserting facts about her homeland here and speculating about his injuries there; asking him if he was sure he was alright and the like. He usually thought that she was just the cutest thing, but today he nodded and smiled and attempted to listen to her banter.
His mind was somewhere else-on a certain blue cloaked titan and that kiss. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed it. But had it even happened? She had just walked away like nothing, it made him wonder if it really did. And if it had, was he just hallucinating when she seemed to be kissing him back...
"Wow Starfire, that's really something..." he said without truly meaning it. He felt kind of guilty for deceiving her like this, but he had other things on his mind.
"I have prepared the 'Get Well' cake to ensure that your recovery is speedy."
"Um, Starfire, that's not really-"
"I shall retrieve it momentarily along with the drink of fizziness," she trilled and zoomed off the kitchen ecstatically.
Robin licked his lips. He could use a soda, but maybe another kiss from Raven might satisfy him better. No, he really had to stop thinking about her like that. They were just friends. He liked Starfire-or at least he was supposed to. He and Raven had a deep connection, they understood each other. They didn't even need to speak to enjoy each other's company. He had been trying to tell himself that he wasn't attracted to her ever since a certain mishap that occurred, that started it all.
End Flashback
It had been the start of something beautiful-and something that would sever several friendships. Now that he thought about it, things had always been complicated when he thought with his heart and not his head. He was a hero-but he was also a man. A man who had just broken up with the girl of his dreams even though he still wanted her. He would probably always have regrets. Right now, he just had to focus his energy on Slade, not Raven. After all he'd always been good at ignoring what was ailing him and diving straight into his work.
Hallway Near Raven's Room
Raven walked, a dark figure enshrouded in shadows she walked silently. Her feet seemed to be barely touching the ground, her cloak rustling about her. Maybe she should read in her room, at least there she could seek solitude away from certain walking traffic lights. Why was Robin trying to pretend things were alright? They weren't and they were never going to be, at least not for a while. She just needed to be away from him, maybe a week and a half wasn't good enough, maybe she needed a month, maybe even two. Then, she could look him in the face as if she didn't love him, the way he had just to her done on the roof.
She stared at the ground absentmindedly, while she walked, so deep in her thoughts that she barely noticed she was in front of Beast Boy's room instead of her own, until bumped into something hard and green. A long arm reached forward and caught her before she fell backwards. She thanked him and started to walk away. But he caught up to her, worried and full of questions.
"Raven? I haven't seen you in days. Are you okay?" he asked with emerald orbs full of concern and confusion.
"I wish I could say I was, Beast Boy," she replied.
"It's okay...you're going to get through this, I know you will. Pretty soon you and Robin will be riding on the R Cycle off into the sunset, more in love than ever."
"No, Beast Boy, you don't get it, he's done with me... He said the last couple years of his life were all a mistake..."
"Raven...he's an idiot, he's probably not in his right mind. You know how he gets when Slade is-"
"He is in his right mind, it's me that isn't, for ever thinking that we could be together."
"Please, don't say that, it's not true..." Beast Boy reached for her hand, she pulled away. "Raven-"
"You don't understand. Slade ruins lives, and right now he's deciding to destroy mine-again. I owe him for helping Robin to save me. Beast Boy-you just don't get it."
"Yes, I do! I know exactly what it's like to lose someone you love...because of Slade..." Beast Boy had a far-away look in his eyes. Terra...
"That was a little insensitive. I'm sorry." He hugged her. "Beast Boy?"
"You'll be alright, you just have to stay positive. You and Robin will be okay." The changeling pulled away slightly, looking down at her. He was almost close enough to kiss her, but he knew that was the last thing she needed right now. "He still loves you, no matter what he says, I know he does-"
"Raven...?" Robin asked, in disbelief. He had just been on his way to the Investigation Room, when he saw her in Beast Boy's arms, he looked like he was about to kiss Raven. His Raven. It seemed as though something in him had snapped.
"Get the hell away from my girlfriend," he snapped.
"Robin-" Beast Boy started, releasing the dark girl.
"I said-get away from her!" he shouted and punched Beast Boy in the face.
Raven gasped and gave Robin a furious stare. 'How could you?' She rushed over to the youngest titan, her fingers glowed blue as she healed his matcha-colored cheek. "Raven...move," he grunted, his tone low and deadly as he walked over to Raven and Beast Boy.
"No," she replied, standing in front of the green teen.
"Raven, you it's alright, you don't need to defend me," Beast Boy countered, glaring at Robin.
"Yes, Raven, why are you defending him?" he scoffed.
"Why are you acting as if you're still my boyfriend?" Robin's eyes widened in realization and he dropped his arms at his side.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me-"
"Save it, Robin, just save it. You can't decide you want to date someone when you feel it's convenient for you," she interrupted flatly.
"Rae, please-"
"Don't 'Rae' me, Robin. You just punched your teammate-one of your best friends, in the face, maybe it's you who needs a break from the team."
"Raven," Robin began, touching her arm. "I-" She pulled away.
"Don't touch me," Raven hissed. She helped Beast Boy up. "Are you okay?" she asked him.
"Yeah, I'm alright Raven, don't worry about me. Thank you though," he said and give her a sweet smile. Robin glowered at the green-eyed teen. Raven glared back at Robin. 'Is this some sort of sick revenge for the other day?'
"I can't stay here right now," the dark bird sighed and started walking away.
"Raven! Where are you going?" Robin questioned accusingly. Raven paused mid-step without turning around.
"Out," she said simply. This time Robin was powerless to do anything about it. Beast Boy took as his cue to leave, before Robin decided to yell at him again for trying to make a pass at his Raven.
Robin had just punched his best friend in the face and he wasn't entirely sure why. He needed to think-that is-right after he caught Slade.
The Black Rock Cafe
Raven sat at one of the cherry wood tables by herself. She loved the fact that it was always eerily quiet and that she could get some reading done without hearing Cyborg and Beast Boy yelling about stank ball or video games. Secretly, she liked the excuse to pretend she wasn't a Titan and wear casual clothes. Today it was a plum colored shirt and black skinny jeans with two inch heeled black boots. So far she was pretty successful in trying not to expend too much energy thinking about Robin. But he was such a jerk! 'A big, sexy jerk!' She rolled her eyes and silently chided herself for thinking such thoughts. The violet-eyed girl sipped her herbal tea and turned the page. She was re-reading Rappaccini's Daughter from a collection Hawthorne's short stories. Giovanni was just about to try to touch Beatrice when-
"And now it's the time of day you've all been dreading, anyone who like to share their pessimistic poems, now is the morose moment," droned the owner of the cafe. He wore all black everyday and had at least a dozen facial piercings. A lanky thin guy with a messy mop of black hair grabbed the mike.
"Thanks Rick," he said in a gruff voice. "Ahem. It's called 'Tears Of Blood'." The mop look-alike proceeded to read off of a tortured piece of loose leaf.
Looking around just shades of gray,
Shadows they stretch so far away.
Beneath the crypts my footsteps tread,
Down here they live, the sleepless dead.
Under the ground and all the mold,
Our love grows dark forever cold.
Demons rape and as they laugh,
Night is born with sweat and wrath.
An autumn eve I dream for more,
Darkness craved, love is implored.
Sweet black and gray color my soul,
Demons of hell with hearts of coal.
A tear of blood lies on top my crypt,
With every drop, from hell I'm ripped
Instead of clapping or snapping the black-clad audience, merely sat there in silence, Raven included. Rick snatched the mike. "Thanks, Tim, that was pretty spiritless," he remarked."Does anyone else have any more crestfallen couplets they would like to share?" Raven ignored him and went back to reading, right now she wished she wasn't so close to the stage.
"I do," a deep voice added, it sounded slightly familiar. "It's called 'Behind The Cloak'." Raven looked up, suddenly intrigued. Surely enough Ben was on the stage, holding the mike, and his eyes were boring straight into hers.
Hiding below the surface of reality,
Have found refugee in the hands of fantasy
Illusion is what lies ahead,
Stimulating my crazy head
The clock tic tocks as the time passes away,
All I can think is you in my memory
In my soul you've been engraved, deep within,
And keep you there, odd things between
Can't seem to touch with my grasp,
I can't longer hold on with my clasp
It is strange you're not so far,
It is shows that you really are
Cool exterior is my false façade,
Like a pompous admiration is what I hide
Can't stop to think of you everyday,
It turns out I am already in disarray
Your voice is like a gentle whisper,
Your thoughts always made me wonder
Your smile if the curable answer,
To all these things that makes me whimper
I am embrace with invisibility,
I have this unnoticed agility
Invaded by hollowness,
Torn asunder thoughts, its craziness
Sometimes I think your mirage, an illusion,
Ironically you have a different devotion
Don't know when to get it all out in these walls,
Confuse and sandwich still between truth and false
He never once broke eye-contact with her, it was clear that he wanted her to hear it. The audience graced him with the same silence that they gave Tim, but with blank stares, which was usually a sign that they liked it. "Thank you." He walked off the stage and walked toward her table. She couldn't help but check him out as he came closer to her. He was donning a black long sleeve t-shirt that fit like a glove and gray jeans. He sat next to her with a slight smile on his lips.
"Over fifteen cafes in this city and the one that I go into due to desperation is your favorite... I should have known by the title."
"You've...been looking for me?" she asked with uncertainty.
"Well, hoping to 'accidentally' run into you for over a week, so to speak," he replied.
"I didn't think I would see you again, and especially not here... But that with poem, I would say you fit in pretty well here," she admitted looking over at Rick who was trying to get more unwilling volunteers to read poems.
"It was for you..." he said staring at her with his smoldering gaze that made her insides melt.
"Thank you...it was beautiful..." she said blushing lightly.
"Like you." He reached over to stroke her cheek. "I missed you Raven... I had to see you."
"But why? You barely know me..." By now his thumb and his forefinger were lightly touching her chin as he looked at her with his silvery orbs.
"It doesn't matter why. I made a promise; I said I would help you forget Robin. I intend to stay true to my word..."
A/N: Did Ben kiss Raven, did Raven like it? Will Robin ever get his girl? And will Beast Boy actually stand a chance? Tune in next time to have all your questions answered! Sorry that I took so long! I'd like to say thank you to those of you who reviewed my story, I love reading them, it let's me know that I don't completely suck at writing stories, essays I definitely can write. I look forward to reading more pretty soon. I will definitely continue this story, hopefully to the end! :)
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