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Braving it in the New World	By : EvaBrick Category: Comics > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 10116 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own the Ninja Turtles, nor am I making any money from them. I'm just borrowing the boys for a while. I do own my original characters.

Chapter List
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“What’s it like, being blind?” Leonardo asked. It was the fourth time in the last two weeks that he’d come to the church to hear Evelyn play. He liked sitting next to the organ in the darkened church while he listened to the soothing music… it made his heart hurt less and it eased the chronic headache that he could never seem to shake. Sometimes they chatted quietly between the pieces she played, but tonight they’d both been very quiet.
Evelyn paused for a moment and he wondered if maybe he’d gotten too personal. They’d never talked about her blindness before… or his lie about being deformed. It didn’t matter in the dark.
“Being blind is better than going blind,” she said, breaking the long pause. “You can’t imagine what it was like… May the fifteenth was the day I went blind. My vision had been blurry for a while and glasses didn’t fix it. I had cancer in my retinas.”
“And that made you lose your sight?”
Evelyn gave him a grim smile, but it was directed slightly to the left of where he was actually sitting. “No… they had to cut out my eyes to keep the cancer from spreading.” She tapped her fingernail against her eyeball and it clinked. “These are glass. They keeps debris out of my sockets… and it really freaks people out when they see someone with holes in their head, y’know?” She turned off the organ and it hissed to a stop. Evelyn took her cane and carefully moved to sit in the pew in front of Leonardo. She turned slightly and he realized it was for his benefit… when you could see, it mattered whether or not you could see the face of the one you were talking to.
Leonardo swallowed hard as he tried to picture the horror of what had happened to her. He wanted to reach out and touch the soft curls that fell down her back in a loose ponytail, but he didn’t dare. She’d feel his three fingers and think he was a freak. He stopped at that thought. Would she? Suddenly he wasn’t sure.
“But yeah,” Evelyn went on, “May the fifteenth, 2010 was the day of my surgery. I tried to look at as many beautiful things as I could on the way to the hospital. I stared at a flower to try to remember it perfectly. I wanted it to be the last thing I saw so I shut my eyes when I went into the hospital and I never saw anything again.” She wiped at her face as a couple of tears leaked down. “Oh shoot,” she said. “I don’t want to cry… it stings when you don’t have any eyes.”
Leonardo put his big hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met,” he said.
She sniffled and put her hand on his before he could pull it away. “Thanks,” she said. “Although, sometimes I don’t feel too brave. I’m waiting for a donor but they haven’t found a match yet.”
“So you’ll be able to see again someday?” Leo found himself grinning at the thought. She deserved to get her sight back.
“Maybe… but it’s been four years so far and they haven’t found a suitable match for me. That’s why I hang around here all the time. I’m waiting for the big phone call and I have to be near the hospital because eyes don’t keep well.” She ran her finger over his much larger one. “Is that your thumb?”
“Uh… no… it’s my index finger, I guess. I uh… I only have three fingers… on each hand.” He pulled his hand back. “You don’t have to touch me, I know it’s weird.”
“Don’t be silly.” Evelyn reached for him and he quickly gave her his hand back to keep her from inadvertently touching his plastron. That was a problem he really didn’t need. He wondered if she’d believe it was a back brace. He watched as Evelyn felt his fingers, hand and wrist. Her fingers were long and soft and so gentle. They drifted higher, up over his forearm and elbow to his bulging biceps. “Wow!” she said.
Leo silently thanked Mike for pushing him so hard to get back into shape. That one little word had made it all worthwhile. “Yeah, I work out some… it’s like a hobby, I guess.”
Evelyn whistled. “That’s some hobby.” She reached her fingers out like she wanted to touch his chest and then she paused. “Wait, are you wearing a shirt?”
“A tank top,” Leo said, quickly. “I was at the gym before I came here.”
Evelyn trailed her fingers back down his arm and it gave him a heady rush of chills. “Sorry, I’m practically groping you,” she said as she let his hand go. “I haven’t seen a hot guy in a long time and y’know… I’m blind, not dead.” A blush crept up over her cheeks.
Leonardo nearly choked. “Trust me, I’m not hot. I just lift.”
“Well I think you’re hot,” Evelyn said. “You’ve got a sexy voice and huge guns.”
Leonardo opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t know what to say.
“Can I feel your face?” Evelyn asked.
Leonardo sighed. “I told you… I’m deformed. I don’t want you to be disgusted by me.”
“Well, describe yourself to me, then.” Evelyn folded her arms on the back of her pew and rested her head on them. Her dead eyes gazed off at nothing.
“Uh… well…” Leonardo rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “To be honest, I look like a turtle.”
Evelyn snorted with laughter. “For such a great guy, you have pretty low self-esteem. Who messed you up? Was it your parents or a girl?” she reached out and pushed on his arm. “Here, lie down and I’ll be your therapist.”
Leonardo sighed and lay down on the pew. He pushed a hymnal out of the way and propped his head under his arm. “It was a girl… she couldn’t love me because I’m… deformed.”
“Sounds like a bitch,” Evelyn said.
Leonardo’s eyes bugged out. “I’ve never heard you swear before.”
“I’m not a nun,” Evelyn said with a shrug.
“Well, we’re still in a church,” Leonardo countered.
“God sees what we’re doing whether or not we’re in church, so there’s no point in trying to hide swearing from Him,” Evelyn said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “So this bitch… she dumped you?”
Leonardo chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I dumped her, actually.”
“Good for you, Leo!” Evelyn cheered. “I knew you had a spine in there somewhere.”
“Yeah, I guess, but… I dunno… it was already so bad by then.” He sighed. “She slept with my brother… and he has the same deformity.”
“Whoa,” Evelyn said. “Not cool.”
“Not cool,” Leo agreed. “It wasn’t his fault though. I know that’s hard to believe, but it really wasn’t his fault.”
Evelyn tried to give him a skeptical look, but missed his face by about a foot. “I’ll have to take your word for it,” she said. “That’s pretty messed up.”
The blue turtle shrugged. “It’s weird, but that doesn’t bother me as much as some of the other stuff does.”
“Like what?”
“You don’t wanna hear it, trust me,” Leonardo said.
“Trust me, I do,” Evelyn argued. She smiled and almost looked in the right place. It made Leo’s heart beat faster and he had the strange urge to do whatever she wanted. He took a deep breath and let it out in a wush.
“She said that she was worried that um… part of me would smell bad because of how I look so she wouldn’t touch me,” he said quickly.
Evelyn frowned for a moment like she was confused. “You mean your…”
“Yeah… my… yeah…” Leonardo mumbled.
Evelyn let out a low whistle. “Ouch, that’s harsh.”
Leonardo nodded, then remembered she couldn’t see him. “I hate my body,” he admitted. “I hate how I look… I just want to be normal. I don’t want people to be scared when they see me. I just…” he shook his head and couldn’t finish.
Evelyn reached out for his hand and he took it again, just so she wouldn’t touch his leg by accident and wonder why he wasn’t wearing pants. “I understand,” she said gently. “I have holes in my head… believe me, I understand.” They sat in silence for a minute. “What did your previous girlfriends think about your body?” she asked.
Leonardo shrugged again. “There hasn’t been anyone else… just her… but I’ve… I mean, we didn’t do anything… so…” he trailed off again.
Evelyn looked surprised. “How old are you, Leo?”
Leonardo wasn’t exactly sure, but he knew it was getting close to thirty. “Twenty-nine,” he said.
“Oh, Leo,” she sighed. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.” She squeezed his hand and they sat in silence for a while longer. “I’ll have sex with you,” she said, suddenly.
Leonardo sat bolt upright. “What?!” he croaked. “You barely know me!”
“Yeah, I know,” she sighed. She squeezed his hand again for emphasis. “Other than the doctor who cut out my eyes, this is the most physical contact I’ve had with a man in nearly five years. I used to tell myself that I’d get new eyes and go on with my life, but I’m starting to think that may never happen and I’m not getting any younger.” She wiped at a tear that leaked from her eye socket. “Oh shit, that stings. Is there a box of tissue around here?”
Leonardo glanced around and saw that there was indeed a box of tissues next to her on the pew. “On your left,” he said. Evelyn let go of his hand and found them.
“Churches always have lots of tissues for funerals,” she sniffled. On a whim, Leonardo stroked her back while she dried her eyes. “I’m starting to forget what I look like,” she admitted. “I’m scared I’m going to look so old if I ever see myself again.” Her voice dropped down to a whisper. “I just want to feel good again. I want to feel like I’m beautiful.” She sniffled and slumped in her seat. “I don’t even know if my socks match, Leo.”
“You are beautiful,” Leonardo said. “I think you look like an angel when the moonlight falls on your hair.”
“Do my socks match?”
Leonardo leaned over and looked at her feet under the pew. “Yes,” he said. “So… how old are you?”
“How old do I look?” she countered.
“You can’t seriously expect me to answer that,” Leonardo said. “I man not be the most experienced guy in the world, but even I know there’s no right answer to that question.”
“Oh come on, Leo,” she pleaded. “We’re having a honest moment here… tell me the truth… be my eyes.”
Leonardo sighed and in a brave move, tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “You look 30-ish,” he said.
Evelyn sighed in relief. “I’m 31,” she said. “I’m turning into an old maid.” She reached for his hand again and he gave it to her. “So… do you want to sleep with me?” she asked, hopefully.
Leonardo opened and closed his mouth a few times while he tried to decide what to say. He thought of Donatello and Charlie. “A few months ago, you played at my brother’s wedding,” he said.
Evelyn gasped, “The one who slept with your girlfriend?”
“What? No! Another brother… I have three. We’re all uh… deformed… but he found a wife. And when I see how they are together… how much they love each other… how they touch each other… that’s what I want.”
“A wife?”
“A soulmate.” Leo leaned back in his pew, careful not to let his shell clunk against the wood. “It was never really about sex with Lisa… that’s my ex… I wanted that connection my brother and his wife have. I wanted us to love each other like that but I think she saw me as a science experiment.”
Evelyn let out a heart-wrenching sigh. “Sometimes normal people forget that we’re still human although we may not look like it.” She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away. “I’ve been on a few dates since I went blind. The last guy asked me if it would hurt if he put his dick in my eye socket.”
“Jesus!” Leonardo exclaimed. “That’s… that’s… Jesus!”
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” Evelyn chastised.
“Sorry,” Leo said. “It’s just… wow! Why would that thought even occur to anyone?”
“Yeah I know… but that’s the caliber of man I attract now.”
Leonardo reached forward and put his hand on her shoulder. “Evelyn… I don’t know what to say.”
Evelyn patted his hand and let it go. She stood up and straightened her skirt. “It’s okay. Look, I’d better get home… it’s getting late.”
Leonardo watched her walk slowly away, with her white cane tapping out a path. He shut his eyes and imagined how he’d look if he were fully human. Would he have taken Evelyn up on her offer if he looked normal? What was the honourable thing to do? Could he make her feel beautiful if he made love to her? He shook his head at the thought… he didn’t have enough experience to be a good lover. He laughed at himself as he stood up to leave. Evelyn deserved a real man, not a mutant freak like him.
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Braving it in the New World