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Sublime Awakenings	By : Kailean Category: Comics > Squee! Views: 1478 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Squee!, JTHM, or Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from these works. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Sublime Awakenings: Chapter 30

Zim had returned to his base in a pleasant mood after having seen plenty of human carnage in the silly alien-bug movie. He had even taken GIR on a walk to get a Suckmonkey before retreating into his lab to begin work on upgrading the pitiful cuddle instrument that he had received from Pepito. It was now speckled in chocolate bubble-gum Suckmonkey as a result of GIR's attempt to play with it, which he had eventually thwarted. “Computer, clean this hyuman thing.”

A panel in the floor opened up, allowing a clear, circular washing machine to surface. A robotic arm extended from the device, stuffing the bear into the clear compartment, which soon filled with fluid. The fluid swirled around, moving the bear with it at high speed. After a few minutes, it came to a stop. The liquid drained, and the spinning began anew, drying the bear.

Zim tapped his three fingers in boredom against the console. Perhaps he should give Tenn a ring to inquire about anything she might know that could help him. She had been assigned to invade the Meekrob home world, though the Meekrob differed somewhat from their more negatively focused kin and Tenn's mission had failed horribly for some reason. It was something to do with a large shipment of malfunctioning SIR units, but she was still alive.

Once the bear was dry, the arm placed it back on the console, drawing the Irken's attention. The bear was poofier now. He poked it. It fell over. Silly humans and their strange, useless playthings.

An Irken child would never be given something so...huggable. It would engender too much emotion. Emotion such as the Dib had shown today. Zim suddenly shook his head as if trying to dislodge those thoughts. Something about them hurt...mentally...emotionally. He actually felt a little bad for chastising the Dib-worm for showing affection. It was almost as if he had traveled back in time to take the place of one of his former drill instructors, telling his younger self how very weak he was, how much of a failure he was as a soldier, as an Irken. At least the Dib had had the courage to stand up for himself.

“Incoming transmission!”

He immediately snapped back to attention. “Is it from The Massive?”

“Negative.”

“Of course not.” It had been a good year and a half since the Tallest had contacted him instead of the other way around, not that they had ever initiated contact with him on a regular basis to begin with.

“The signal is originating from Earth, approximate distance: ten point two miles North East of this location.”

He instantly began to panic. “Bitters! She knows about me! How? WHY must this beee? Computer, quickly, one of my alternate disguises!” Black lekki bristled, changing position much faster than usual as the Invader paced back and forth in front of his communication screen.

A robotic arm supplied the Irken with a beige trench coat, a gray mustache and a pink top hat that was garnished with a fake flower.

He donned the custom as swiftly as possible. “Patch her through.”

The screen flashed to static for a few milliseconds before displaying a tall, hunched Iorkian female. Typical of her species, she had tan skin. Hers was of a darker variety, though Iorkian skin varied greatly in shade from one individual to another. The back of her skull was speckled with roughly circular patches of green skin. Her horns were more thin and flexible than a Vortian's, but not quite so much as the lekki of the Irkens. She wore a long, black garment, not unlike the dress that he was so used to seeing her in, as well as dark goggles, hiding her eyes...perhaps because of their inferior nature. Her pak was a shiny, metallic gray. There were a few dents and scratch marks on its curved surface as well as two straps that secured it around her shoulders, much like the backpacks of the wormbabies at skool. For Iorkians, unlike Irkens, the pak was a very useful tool, but not vital to their existence. Behind her was the very same lab that he and Dib had broken into the previous day.

“Hello, Zim.”

“I am not ZIM! I am a government human, working deep within a secret government base!”

“You're Zim.”

“NO! I belong to the FBI, which was founded to fight aliens such as yourself! Give up NOW, alien fiend!”

“Oh, you poor, doomed fool. I am not human, Zim. I can easily see though your ridiculous excuse for a disguise. You, however, have known me for six years without guessing my true identity until now. And Irkens call themselves superior beings. Please.”

“We ARE superior beings, lowly Iorkian beast. If you know who I am, then you must know that this planet belongs to the Irken Empire in all but name! Do not incur our wrath! Any hostile move on your part will be seen as an act of war.”

“Earth? Belongs to the Irken Empire? Ha! Irk couldn't care less about this polluted ball of galactic waste! My people contacted your Tallest shortly after you joined my fifth grade classroom. Your mission is a lie, Zim. The Armada is never coming. The only reason you're still alive is because you're too pathetic to be a threat to my mission...and you keep that nosy human boy, Dib, distracted.”

“You LIE!”

“If you don't believe me, why don't you give the Tallest a call, hum? I'll be happy to watch as they tear your little world completely apart.”

“I don't NEED to call the Tallest! They wouldn't lie to me! I AM ZIM!” The truth was, he couldn't ask them. The “glorious secret mission” had always seemed too good to be true. Then Tak and Sizzlor had told him this very thing, but he just couldn't bring himself to find out the truth because he was deeply afraid of what that might be. What if his mission was a lie? What would the Tallest do then? What would he do then, assuming he was allowed to live? Instead, he had continued with his usually self-sabotaged schemes to take over the Earth, only rarely making a genuine effort. After all, if he had actually conquered the Earth, he would have had to contact the Massive and find out the truth.

“I'll tell you what, Zim. How about I give you a little extra credit assignment? You see, I have a little problem that I need taken care of. I know that you and Dib have been to my base, so I am giving you the benefit of a doubt that you probably do not deserve. You know about my mission, yes?”

Zim said nothing, though his pride prompted him to confirm the question. He had no way of knowing which answer would yield the least horrible results.

Bitters seemed to take his silence as a “yes”. “I have lost one of the components in one of my most important experiments. And energy-based life form named Shmee has escaped his issued confine. It seems that he was isolated for a number of years, and it wreaked havoc with his mental stability. This whole situation has me in somewhat of a bind because it has the potential to ruin a very important business transaction for my people. I need for him to be captured and returned to me without the Earth being alerted to his presence. And you need an Empire of your own, correct?”

“An Empire of my own?”

“Exactly. You could raise an army in an attempt to gain the power that you have always wanted. This is my proposition to you: If you manage to capture the entity known as Shmee and return him to me, preferably along with Todd Castil, with the Earth none the wiser, then, after my mission is complete, I will take all of the humans who are of use to my clients and leave this planet, and the remaining majority of the population, under your control.”

The Irken rubbed his chin in thought. Maybe if he conquered and subdued the planet without any help from the Armada, the Tallests would reinstate him as an Invader, even if they had sent him on this mission to die. Still, he was ZIM, and no one told ZIM what to do! “And what if I refuse?”

“Then I will simply activate the sleeper program that you have inadvertently installed into your base's computer, effectively destroying your base. If you manage to escape the blast, you'll be stuck here, defenseless and alone, for the rest of your futile life.”

“You dare threaten ZIM!” FRAG! WHY hadn't his computer picked that up!

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Oh. Well, in that case,” He smiled his best friendly smile. “What percentage of the population are we talking about here?”

“I'll be taking only about one percent. This will actually benefit you, as the ones I plan on taking will probably be ones to would most challenge your control anyway.”

“I see. That sounds good. Veeerrry good. But, I want to keep one. Someone who may belong to that group.” The Dib was definitely the challenging type.

“Dib? That's disgusting, Zim, even for you. Emotional attachment is such a weak thing. Did you pick that up here, or is that why you're so defective to begin with?” Her voice remained monotone, even during the insult.

“SILENCE! You outdated, rusty, curved-spined excuse for a teaching drone! The Dib is MY enemy, and I shall decide his fate or no deal!”

“Huh. Fine. You can keep the meddlesome, little brat. His gigantic head probably wouldn't have fit in my transport unit anyway.”

“Heh heh. That's a good point.” Wait! He shouldn't be agreeing with the enemy! But, Dib's head was big.

“Do we have an agreement?”

“Eh. Sure. Why not?”

“Good. I'm sending you all the information that your computer should need to construct a suitable storing unit for Shmee. I'm sure you can manage the Castil kid on your own.”

“Of course.”

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Notes:

-Zim's first words were: “I love you, cold, unfeeling robot arm!” From: Parent Teacher Night.
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Sublime Awakenings