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Sublime Awakenings	By : Kailean Category: Comics > Squee! Views: 1478 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Squee!, JTHM, or Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from these works. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Sublime Awakenings: Chapter 26

“Zim! ZIM! ZIIIIMMM!” Dib paused to catch his breath before continuing to bang on the invader's front door. He gave the men's restroom sign on said door a hard glare, knowing that Zim knew the symbol's meaning by now, but chose to leave the ridiculous thing up as a way of rubbing the blindness of his fellow humans in his face. “I know you're in there! Open up, Alien Scum!”

On the other side of the door, GIR tried his best to ignore the loud drumming. When, after twenty minutes, The Scary Monkey Show ended, he finally turned off the TV. He dropped the remote onto the couch cushion, tilting his head slightly. “I think somebody's at da door! You stay here, pig!”

The small robot stood, fired his boosters, leaving two scorch marks on the couch, and sailed through the air to land near the door before quickly slipping into his green doggie custom to answer the it. He jerked the door open rather swiftly, letting the boy with the big, puppy-smelling head fall onto the floor in front of him. “HI MARY! Are you here to chase my master?”

Bracing one hand on the floor, Dib pushed himself up, lifting his now sore face to address Zim's evil robot-dog thingie. “Don't call me Mary.” The sentence was almost as reflexive as “My head's not big.” by now. The dysfunctional SIR had been calling him that occasionally since he had briefly stopped chasing Zim to study “real science”. “Why do you call me that anyway?”

“Cause you's just like dat guy on TV. He's always over at dat other guy’s house, even when he's not spose ta be cause deys in love! And sometimes people calls him Mary cause he's gay!” The robot stopped his high-pitched, excited explanation to tilt his head to the side in thought. “What is gay?”

The paranormalist glowered down at him. “Gay means happy GIR, something that I am definitely not whenever I'm around Zim. Do you understand?”

“I really don't!”

A harsh sigh. “Do you know where Zim is?”

Looking from side to side as if he wasn't sure how to answer, or more likely of the answer, GIR released a long, drawn out “Umm” before finally staring directly at the teen with big, cyan eyes. “He's in the lab workin! He's workin sooo harrddd. Too hard for muffins! You wanna make muffins?”

“Working? What's he working on?”

“I...don't know. Somethin’ about a soufflé. He said...ummm…'an evil soufflé needs time to rise'...or somethin’. I'm not allowed to help make the soufflé, but we can still make muffins! Let's make muffins! LET'S MAKE MUFFINS!”

Dib sighed shortly in irritation, but moved on immediately, being well acquainted with Gir's mentality. “Okay. I'm going down there.” He waited a beat to make sure that the dysfunctional robot wasn't going to go into spontaneous duty mood. When Gir simply shrugged and returned to the couch, taking a seat beside an actual pig, he opened the fridge and watched the interior shelves retract into the wall, exposing one of the many lifts down to Zim's underground base.

When he reached the main lab, he followed the sound of Zim's humming to the main console to find the Irken reclining in a crescent-shaped, hovering chair facing a large computer screen. A small floating moose hovered at his side. “Doo-dee-doo-dee-doo...COM-PUT-TER! Analysis status.”

“In progress. Analysis completion in five Earth minutes.”

“Excellent.” Leaning forward, Zim began typing something into the interface.

Leisurely walking up behind the chair, Dib gave the Invader a relaxed greeting. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey Dib.” The Irken responded in a causal tone, as if having the bigheaded stink-beast in his base was a routine occurrence, which at this point it was. He continued his work for several seconds before coming to a sudden halt. “Wait! DIB! What are you doing in Zim's base?”

The hovering chair spun around to bring them face to face.

“Oh, I ...uh...just thought I'd stop by and see what you were doing.” Truthfully, he wasn't really sure why he was there. He had gone for a walk without any real destination in mind after being insulted by his family. After a while, he came to a stop and just happened to be at Zim's house. He realized that he had made the trip so many times that his body must have taken him there automatically. “Besides, we...should probably be doing something about the Bitters situation, right?”

“Eh. I suppose. But you do not simply come traipsing into Zim's base with your touchy, germ-riddled hands!”

“Zim…I do it all the time. And Gir let me in.”

“Computer, check the Dib-thing for spying devices!”

“Processing.” A panel in the wall slid open to make way for a smooth, half-circle shaped scanning device that emitted a beam that was not visible to the human eye, though Zim's ocular lenses could have picked it up, had they been on the right setting. The beam passed over Dib. “PROCESSING. Presence confirmed: one digital camera, one audio recorder.” A semitransparent image of the human appeared on one of several floating computer screens, highlighting the detected objects.

“Relieve the Earth-creature of these things immediately.”

A robotic arm shot out from the ceiling, latching onto Dib's leg, lifting him upside down by it and shaking him vigorously.

“Hey! Knock it off! This is completely uncalled for!” Dib tried to stop some of his stuff from falling out of the compartments in his trench coat, but his shirt was falling as well, and he had to make due with holding it up. He grunted in irritation, hearing numerous items hitting the metal floor.

Zim smiled a zippered smile, watching Dib struggle as the blood ran to his head. He was a little disappointed when the computer finally extended another arm to unbutton a secret pocket on the inside of the coat, retrieving what it was searching for before dropping the Dib roughly to the floor of his beautiful base.

“Ouch!” The paranormal investigator rubbed his pained head, which had collided with the floor when he was dropped into the small pile of his stuff. “You jerk! You know those are just basic things that I always have with me. Besides, we're in a truce right now.”

“As a term of truce, you can't have spying equipment in my base. Besides, that was funny.”

“You can't add terms after the fact, Zim.” Standing slowly, Dib pulled his shirt down firmly before dusting himself off, even though Zim's base was impeccably clean in the places Gir hadn't recently been.

“Foolish Dirt-child, your presence in Zim's base was never a term either. You should be honored to be allowed into the mighty Zim-base of ZIM!”

“Fine. Whatever.” Dib sighed deeply yet again. While a part of him enjoyed their small reprieve from official rivalry, another part wanted to hurry up and get it over with so that he might rededicate himself to defeating the alien for good. Did he really want to waste his entire life thwarting ridiculous plans and trying to hide or suppress parts of his humanity that Zim might consider a weakness to be exploited? Then again, he couldn't really imagine life without their games. He had spent so much time living to save his people that going back to a more mundane life just seemed empty. And in a twisted sort of way, Zim had become almost as much a friend as an enemy. Just as he was becoming lost in these thoughts, his attention was caught when the computer made another announcement.

“Analysis complete.” The computer went on to apathetically emit a long list of normal components one would expect to find in food, as well as quite a few that shouldn't have been there, yet did nothing to explain the odd behavior of the cafeteria food. “Substance also contains traces of an anaphasic radiation not unlike that belonging to the Meekrob.”

“EH? The Veelob have infiltrated the skool!”

“What?”

“That ... “green” monstrosity. The Veelob were behind it!”

“Ohh! That makes sense...kind of. But what would they have to gain from attacking the skool when they’re supposed to be doing research?”

The moose hovered near Zim's head, emitting a few squeaks.

“That is true, MiniMoose. The attack could have been part of the research. Maybe they wanted to test the effects of mass hysteria or something.”

“How can you understand that thing? All it does is squeak.” Something about the way Zim talked to the animal-balloon looking minion, receiving answers that only he could understand, reminded Dib of something else. Someone else. Squee, before the two were really friends, maybe even the first time they had meet. He couldn't have been more than ten. He was sitting the a corner of the game room at the institute, playing cards with, and talking to, his stuffed bear. Dib had assumed that he was simply batty like most of the residences at the institution, but since he was bored out of his mind he decided investigating the bear for possible possession couldn't hurt. That hadn't exactly worked out well for him, as Squee had been very protective of Shmee. Shmee. SHMEE!

“It only sounds like mere squeaking to your inferior huuman brain, Dib-monkey.” The invader paused at the human's frightened, shocked look. One crimson eye narrowed in question. “Hey, what's wrong with you?”

“Shmee.”

“What? Is this like that “who” nonsense?”

“Squee used to have a teddy bear named Shmee. Shmee is Miss Bitters' password to the skool's computer system. That has to mean...something! But what?” The boy quickly looked up Pepito's number on his communicator only to have the other's cell-phone go straight to voice mail. “Damn. I'm gonna have to go over there. Are you coming?”

“Coming? ZIM? So that you can break our truce by exposing me to the squeaky-kid?!”

“I'm not trying to expose you right now, Zim. Besides, Squee already knows you're an alien. So does Gaz. They just don't care because they think you're a moron.”

“Lies! Zim is a genius! Gen-ius!”

“O-kay. Sure. Well, I'm gonna go now. I won't mention that you're an alien.”

“Wait on Zim, filthy human! I have to be there to defend my status as a perfectly normal, human, worm-baby!” And to make sure the Dib didn't withhold any possible intelligence from him.

“But, you just said that-”

“Do not question ZIM! Let's go.” He grabbed the human’s forearm roughly, leading him to the elevator, as was his usual method of throwing the Dib out as of late.

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Notes:

-I made GIR call Dib “Mary” because he when he did it in Mopiness of Doom (when telling Dib how much Zim needs him to chase him) I nearly died of subtext ZADR overdose. For anyone who doesn't know, “Mary” is a generic nickname for a gay man. The show GIR is talking about was inspired by Will and Grace.

-“An evil soufflé needs time to rise.” is a quote by Stephen Colbert.
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Sublime Awakenings