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I Hate Everything About You	By : MadMaryRoberts Category: DC Verse Cartoons > Batman: The Animated Series Views: 13783 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, any of its characters or any of the song lyrics I use in this fiction. I also make no money off of this story.

Chapter List
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Harley was with the Joker holding Victoria Summers, richest heiress in all of Gotham, hostage. They were hiding out at an old amusement park in the middle of a labyrinth of mirrors. Harley never liked mirrors. She kept catching little bits of whispered words from the Joker to the red head heiress and saw him smiling at her from the mirrors. What most people didn't know or expect from the Joker was that he was a flirt. Oh yes, he flirted and Harley was one of the few that ever knew. She really wish she weren't witnessing it first hand at that moment, it was really bothering her. It wouldn't have been so bad if she could have done anything about it, but she couldn't. He didn't bother to hide it, he was a shameless kind of flirt. In not bothering to hide his flirtations, it meant that she could say or do anything she could to try and stop it but his efforts towards Victoria would not stop.
Harley was not happy, not at all.
She loved her Mistah J with an almost exaggerated passion, so too did she loathe anyone that kept him from noticing her. This included Batman but for right now, Victoria Summers.
Harley was rather miffed. 'C'mon! He doesn't even have her tied up! A pair of hand cuffs and not any pair of handcuffs, oh no! The furry ones I got him for Christmas!' As miffed as she was, Harley directed none of her frustration or annoyance at the Joker; she was never angry at him, never. Ms. Summers on the other hand, was a different story. She hated Victoria and the fact that no matter where she turned, she was forced to witness the other woman's reciprocation.
The thing that she hated most was that all she could do was walk away from it.
"I'll go look out for ya, Mistah J." He didn't hear her, or he wasn't listening, either way, the message didn't get across. That happened a lot. He never listened.
As she made her way out the hall of mirrors, she reflected on her first meeting with Joker, as his shrink. 'Why did I fall so hard? Why did Harlene stop and when did Harley really start?' She was caught up in her thoughts when she looked out at the stars, lately her thoughts were the only company she had.
It was so frustrating for her that she could rely on so little, had such little stability in this world. She began to count off on her fingers the things she could rely on. There was Poison Ivy, her best friend who would take her in whenever the Joker had kicked her out. Then there was Scarecrow, he'd been like a father to her for a long time, very protective and also always allowing her to stay with him when she needed shelter. In a strange way, she could rely on Batman, he never really did anything for her but he never directly affronted her either. Whenever the Joker and she were doing something naughty though, he would come and ruin their fun.
She shook her head, she couldn't think of Batman in any sort of positive way, which included reliability, even if she couldn't deny him that. That would be betraying her precious Joker, which was one of the few things she did have control over: her loyalty and devotion to her love.
She stood there, thoughts blank until she decided to muse upon Batman again. No one she knew liked him, but then that comes with the territory when all the people you know are villains. 'Come to think of it, though, no one I know really likes Mistah J, either.' It was true. Both Poison Ivy and the Scarecrow had openly stated that the only reason they didn't strike out at the Joker for what he did to her was because she loved him so much. Batman wasn't hated for anything personal, taking people to Arkham and jail was just part of his job description.
Harley sighed as she looked out at the condemned park. 'So much for amusement, I have to wait out here while that redheaded bimbo is trying to seduce my Mistah J. If I ever catch her alone, I'm gonna…' She growled, "Oh I hate her more than Batman!"
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Harley only got a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her eye, but knowing Batman that's all she needed to raise the alarm. She rushed happily towards her puddin' , so glad that she can do something useful for him.
She rushed closer and as she got to where the Joker was she yelled out, "Mistah J! Batman, he's oof!" She'd been too late and the Joker had taken advantage of the distraction of her yelling to shove Batman away, knocking him into Harley. He didn't even wait to see if Harley was okay, he just rushed out of there with Victoria Summers over his shoulder, heading for the car. By the time Harley got up and managed to reach the car, all she saw were tire tracks.
Her body, especially her stomach clenched. She looked at the mocking tire tracks and the sense of dread and disappointment nearly brought her to her knees. 'Why didn' he wait for me, he's done it before, what's different now?' She began to cry, but then wiped the tears away as she felt a presence come up behind her.
"How could you love such a psychotic man?" Batman sounded almost incredulous, maybe even disgusted, but Harley felt there was more to it than that, an almost bitter edge to his voice.
'This is all his fault! If it weren't for him, Jack would love me!' She shot a glare at him, "He's not psychotic, he's just misunderstood!"
"You didn't know him before he was the Joker did you?" He scoffed looking down at her.
Harley, despite her blindness in the love department, was good at readying body language. She saw the way his face was almost sad and she frowned, "Stop lookin at me like that, Bats," she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, turning her back to him, "I don't need ya charity, alright."
"How did you fall so low, Dr. Quinzelle?" he remembered seeing her outside of costume a few times, she was a very pretty girl.
Harley pivoted on her heal and poked him in the chest. "Don' call me that!" Something about being called her real name unnerved her, like all this was just some surreal fantasy game and that that she needed to get home to get some sleep for work in the morning.
"Why not, it's your real name, isn't it?
"My name is Harley Quinn! Harlene Quinzelle is dead!" Something she could never be again. Who would hire her as a doctor when she had the extensive criminal record that she did? Who would know what she's done and not want to simply run from her or try to take her down?
Her train of thought was derailed when Batman spoke, "She's not dead, she's just in a mental lapse."
"Don't talk ta me like I'm crazy! I'm perfectly sane!" she growled defensively.
"Running around in a jester costume is perfectly sane?" it was almost as if he were mocking her.
"Yeah, 'cause bein dressed like a bat is obviously not the same thing. Take off tha tights then ya can chastise me!" She cocked her hips to the side and re-crossed her arms under her chest, full of attitude and challenge.
Suddenly, it came to Harley's mind a few little things were wrong with this picture. Batman made no move to capture or even pursue the Joker. He made no move to subdue or bind her and perhaps the most unsettling thing was that he could be hauling her back to Arkham, but instead he was laughing. His laugh made Harley shudder, she'd only ever heard it once before.
That laugh brought up memories that she tried to cover but to no use. He said something that she didn't catch while caught up in those dismal recountings.
"Wha?" she said, making it obvious that she wasn't paying attention.
"I said that it's beyond the costume for you. You go out and commit crimes in a costume when there's no point to hide your identity, anyone with access to public records would be able to see your real name and face."
"Look, just 'cause I got the guts to go out and get what I want from life doesn't make me crazy, ya know. Selfish, sure and greedy I'll give you that, but stealing and causing trouble doesn't make me crazy."
"I'm not talking about that either." For a moment Harley thought that she almost saw him smile, almost.
"Well what are ya talkin' about?" Harley tried to act like she wasn't worried, but she was.
"I'm talking about your expectations."
"What's that supposed ta mean?"
His face sobered completely, "He doesn't love you and he never will. You're a tool and very foolish to have expected more from him."
That stung and it showed. Harley struck out in her hurt from these words but he caught her wrist in his hand, his grip firm but surprisingly more gentle than she would have guessed.
"I'm not crazy!" She snarled at him trying to wretch her hand free.
"Arkham believes so," Harley started to struggle more, "but I think they can't help you." Harley stopped the struggle to look at him curiously wary.
"What are ya sayin', Bats?" Harley didn't know what was in store but she had a feeling she wasn't going to like it."
"House arrest; it would be rehabilitation in a real world environment." That caught Harley off guard. House arrest? Harley looked at him in disbelief. For once, she just couldn't think of anything to say.
'House arrest? That would be easy ta slip out of, I could see my puddin' sooner!' she was happy with that thought and so she smiled and nodded, "Whose house?"
Batman pinched a nerve in her shoulder, knocking her out and answered her even though she was now unconscious, "Mine."
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I Hate Everything About You