Jerk of Hearts, Queen of Spades

________________________________Chapter 2

The afternoon melted away as Reggie drove to Centerville. Not that he had any business there; just that he wanted to get out of Riverdale for a while and clear his head. Midge was really broken up over her breakup, much moreso than he'd imagined she would be. Intellectually, the two had been together for a long time, it was only natural the parting of ways would be rough on not just her, but both of them. But hadn't she just been saying how oppressive she found their relationship?

For all his trouble, he did nothing more there than stop at a gas station and grab a sandwich and soda before filling up his tank, then turning right around and heading for home. It was a nice, if dull, trip.

But when he re-entered Riverdale, he still didn't feel like going to any of the hangouts, much less back to the Mantle home. In the end, he found a shady, secluded spot on the riverbank and parked, staring out over the water. The sun was going down; it would only be half an hour, at most. He turned off the engine and paced down toward the edge. It was beautiful there; how come he'd never found it before? About a mile along was a larger, nicer spot that a lot of his peers brought their dates to engage in activities they couldn't quite get away with at Pop Tate's, or even a darkened movie theater. Still, somehow he'd always felt a little self-conscious with so many other people around; it detracted from the joys of kissing a pretty young thing. A spot like this would be a boon if he could find it again.

Maybe he'd bring Midge there.

Frowning at the thought of how complicated that might end up being if she was in fact still hung up on the quarterback, he picked up a rock and skipped it over the water. Two, three, four- and it sank on four. When they were kids, he was much better at skipping stones. Maybe he could practice for a while, get back up to five or six. Then, as he ran a hand through his windswept hair, he saw another stone skip two more times than his before sinking. Startled, he scanned the shore, and found a figure in the shadows. "Who's there?"

Nobody answered, but he saw the figure shift slightly. He sprinted to the tree trunk just as the figure tried to slip around it the other way. With a quick step, he grabbed the nearest forearm. "Hey, where's the fire, buddy?"

"Leave me alone, would you?!"

"Wait," he whispered. "Midge?"

The girl sniffled. "Go away, Reggie. How on earth did you even find me this time?"

"I didn't. Uh, I mean, not on purpose; I don't even really know where I am, just some spot on the river. What are you doing out here?"

"I've always come here," she sighed, pulling her arm from his grasp as she leaned back against the tree. "Since my family moved to Riverdale. I explored the woods and the river a lot back then. Now, I don't come here that often anymore, but... it's a nice secluded place to get away. Nobody else seems to know about it, they all go to Lookout Point a little further along."

"Ahh. Well, sorry I interrupted." Reggie didn't want to leave, but the catch in her voice was too much for him; he didn't know nearly enough about girls and crying and things like that. He started back for his car.

"No, wait, don't go," she said weakly. "I... I've been out here for a while by myself, I think I'm sick of it."

"You, uh... want a lift into town, or back to your place? My car is-"

"No thanks. I can't face anybody right now. I'm amazed I can even talk to you."

Crap. Now Reggie was going to have to remember everything he'd ever heard from daytime talk shows to try and be supportive. It's not that he didn't want to help, he did, but he had so little experience that he was very afraid of making things worse instead of better. "Okay, so you and Moose split. That's... a crying shame, but I'm not sure what I-"

"Don't blame yourself," she told him quickly. He could just see her watery eyes in the darkening sky. "That's probably popped into your head by now, but it's not your fault he can't handle me talking to other men. He does the same thing to Archie, too. Once, I even caught him punting Chuck down a hallway because he'd seen him slip me a note... which was from a teacher. He always jumps to the wrong conclusion."

"Got that right."

"But not with you," she said with a slight edge to her voice. "He has Reggie Mantle pegged. Why do you actively seek me out, try to wine and dine me when you know Moose is ready to clean your clock?"

"Because he doesn't deserve you," Reggie said. Now he was getting somewhere; being smooth was his area of expertise. "You, Midge, are a beautiful apparition, a goddess among mortals! Why should you settle for that ape? I'm right here, waiting to let you have ME!"

"Oh boy," she said flatly.

"Don't scoff like that. I... maybe I am a little conceited-" here she snorted "-but I'm also not seven feet tall with fists the size of ham hocks. How would I decimate all the guys I'm jealous of? I couldn't! And that's why I'm a much better option than-"

"Would you come over here and kiss me already? The sooner you do that, the sooner you'll leave me alone."

Reggie laughed, then pressed her back into the tree trunk. "Whatever you say."

The touch of her skin was heaven as he enveloped her mouth, his hand gently pressing into the small of her back. She tensed; maybe she hadn't thought he'd go through with it, that they were both still teasing each other. The next moment, she melted. It was just like in the bushes, but stronger, more real because they both meant for it to happen, both moved toward it with equal decisiveness. She leaned into him a tiny bit, but not enough to make her seem eager or frantic, just so they could share the moment together, both advancing, both in paradise. After a moment, she pulled back and she breathed, "Wow, that w-was... Reggie, you have some real skill in this area. Have you been practicing since Saturday?"

"Me and my pillow," he chuckled. "All night, every night. Why, you want some tips?"

By the sunset, he could just see the orange reflected in her eyes as she smiled broadly at him, both arms on his shoulders. "Teach by example."

Then they were kissing again, and somehow Reggie knew this was going to end differently than all his other dates ever had. He allowed his hand to fall to her backside, feeling its slight curve through her flouncy skirt, afraid that he was pushing too much too fast. She bit his lip, but otherwise let him explore, squeezing slightly. When he drew back, he smiled and whispered, "Very firm. You work out a lot?"

"Softball," she told him breathlessly. "Listen, I... I don't want to give you the wrong idea here, I don't want to do anything... too crazy out here tonight. You understand that, right?"

"One hundred percent," he said with a nod. "There are boundaries."

"Hands above the waist, for one." When he felt her butt muscles clench, he moved his hand back to her waist, though his heart thumped more rapidly. "Just... I... this is probably a bad idea, but..."

"You can put the brakes on this whenever you like," he told her firmly. He wasn't into getting what he wanted if somebody else had to suffer. "But I can tell you I'm having a great time."

She kissed him hungrily, readily, hands on his neck as she panted. Without knowing what else to do, he responded, one of his hands mistakenly landing on her chest. It gave, soft and buoyant under his grip. Flushing, he broke the kiss and blurted, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- to-"

"Mmm, don't apologize." But even though her voice said she liked his touch, the quivering of her lip told him she wasn't ready for that, so he removed his hand. "Th-thank you."

When his lips again met hers, Reggie was very much ready to move beyond her self-imposed restrictions, but he willed himself down. It was bad enough that, though he tried to convince himself otherwise, he was taking advantage of Midge in a weak moment. Removing her recent breakup from the equation, there was no way she'd ever throw herself at him even this much, let alone go any father. But she was feeling so lonely that she let him past her defenses, the smallest bit inside. He was enjoying himself so much, and part of her was, too... but the rest of her was probably hating everything that she was doing. That was more important.

"Mmmaybe," he said as he pulled back. "Maybe I should, uh... take you home. It's, the sun went down, it's late, you should b-"

"Hold me," she demanded, pressing right against him, her throat catching. "Just for a while, let me feel you. Say I'm special, say something."

"You are special," he told her, completely serious, as her head nestled under his chin. He patted the back of it, sighing. "Everybody likes you, okay? None of us are gonna think you're some evil shrew for dumping Moose, or start egging your house or anything."

"Reggie, you're so warm, so firm," she said obscenely. "G-gosh, what am I saying?"

"Hang on a second," Reggie grunted. "Something- it's my keys, they're... wait, those... huh?"

Midge suddenly drew back and whispered, "Maybe I sh-should find my way home, my mom, she m-might be-"

"Just wait a minute, here," he said in a low voice. "What was that?"

"Nothing," she muttered. "It's... nevermind, don't..."

Eyes narrowed, he contemplated for a moment. It was crazy, absolutely insane... but he had to be sure. Gritting his teeth, he shot his hand forward and under her skirt, and by the time Midge's hands had clamped down on his forearm, it was too late.

"Whoa."

Neither of them moved for a several seconds. Reggie was mostly staring at where his hand was, though he could see nothing. Then, he glanced up to see Midge was facing down and off to the left, away from everything. Both eyes were squeezed shut, bracing herself; there were tears forming in the corners. The nerve endings in his palm registered a throb, and he shot backward from her by a few feet.

"Damn it," she cursed violently.

"Midge," he breathed. "Wh... what is that? I don't understand, why is-"

"What do you mean, 'what is it'? Don't you have one of your own?!"

The acidity in her tone was almost more shocking than the startling revelation he was trying to come to grips with. His eyes moved between his hand, the mysterious area of her skirt, and the doom glare in her face. Then, after a long, tense moment where he couldn't come up with anything, he smiled. "Ohhh. I get it, now."

"Huh?"

"Good one," he snorted. "Really funny - couldn't have done it better myself, even. Bravo!"

She folded her arms over her chest, what little he could see of her face in the low light burning red, expression livid, breathing ragged. "Excuse me?"

"You see me drive in here, and you follow me," he began, rolling his eyes as he walked a few paces around her. "Earlier, you set up a fake meltdown with Moose, so later on you could play this prank on me. You rig up a little surprise in your underwear, then you-"

"Reggie Mantle," she spat, "of all the horrible- you really think that's what happened? You think any girl would USE themselves like this just for a stupid practical joke?!"

"Well, yeah," he said, though he was no longer as confident in his hypothesis. "What else could this be? You don't have a... I mean, you can't be a, a..."

"A man?"

Reggie laughed nervously, scratching his head. "Yeah, that! It's not true, is it? That'd be loony!"

"No," Midge said glumly. "I am not a man. But I'm not all-woman, either... not yet."

They both fell silent after that. The vain hope that this was all some silly prank faded from Reggie's mind as it reeled. She would no longer look at him. Gaping, he took in her curvaceous figure, her delicate bone structure, her soft features. What was she talking about - how could it even be possible? All this time, he'd been chasing after a girl who didn't exist?

"Who are you really, then?" he demanded. "Your real name can't be Midge, not if you're... y'know, a guy."

"I am NOT a guy!" She took a deep, steadying breath as she tried very hard not to lose her grip, then said in a would-be calm voice, "And my legal, documented name is Midge Klump. Birth certificate, driver's license, everything. Understand?"

"But what does your license say under 'gender'?" She bit her lip and refused to answer, and Reggie clapped his forehead with an open palm. "Holy schnikes!"

"They can't change that until I actually undergo the operation," she said miserably, sinking down to the grass. "And... I don't have the money. Neither do my parents. I've been saving up since two summers ago, but do you have any idea how much it takes? Thousands! Especially if you don't want some cut-rate doctor who'll only botch the whole thing!"

"Operation," he half-laughed. This was way too much for him to absorb. "But... but you've been in our school! I mean, all this time you had to use the girls' bathrooms and locker rooms, and-"

"And I have been," she admitted. "See, that's the problem you run into living in a gender-binary society. In a technical sense, I should have a third, specially-built bathroom and locker room, since I can't really be allowed in either one."

"Because you're too girly for the guys, but too manly for the girls?"

"Something like that. Impractical, though. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going home."

Reggie nodded as she stood and smoothed out her skirt. Then her words penetrated his fog of confusion and he called out, "Wait, hang on!"

"What?!" She threw up her hands. "What do you want from me? My life is falling apart!"

"You just... you're so female," he said, looking at her body again. No matter how much he searched for evidence that she had once been a boy, he could find none. "I mean, seriously. How...?"

"Hormones," she told him simply. "And one or two minor cosmetic surgeries, but nothing serious; it wasn't necessary. Reggie, I've known this was the real me ever since I was a child. I lucked out; I had parents who understood. Or, well, they got the message eventually. So they arranged prescriptions for synthetic hormones. Since I've been taking them all through puberty... you get it?"

"Nnnno," he said slowly. "But, um, I guess I don't know much about this stuff."

"Please don't tell anyone," she whispered desperately, hands clutching at his chest. This was the first time she'd really looked him full in the face since he'd discovered the truth. "I... there's not much left of high school, right? And then I'll be out in the real world, and... and I'll have the reassignment procedure. Then I won't have to hide, because I really will be a full-fledged girl! So... if I can just keep this under wraps for a little while longer, I... nobody will have to know!"

Reggie fought down a very strong desire to throw her hands off of him. Part of him knew this was Midge, his friend and the woman he'd been secretly chasing after. But another part, one with fresher memories, also knew she had been lying to him for years, betraying his trust. Was she even the same person he thought he'd known? What else about her was a lie? The one secret was plenty, obviously, but if she could hide something this important for so long...

"I h-have to go," he mumbled, jerking back and away. "My parents are, uh, probably worried - I d-drove into Centerville today and never told them I w-was going, and by now-"

"Reggie," she sighed, "I'm not the Yeti or Godzilla. I'm not going to hurt you just by being who I am."

"But you're not who you are!" he declared. "Not who I thought, anyway!"

"No, but I am!" she insisted. "I have never lied about anything!"

"Oh, I'd say you have," he said with a blast of half-hearted laughter.

"I have NOT!" she insisted. "Never once! So maybe I didn't walk into school and yell out, 'Hey, I'm transgendered!' But not a single time have I told a lie about anything! I've been very careful not to let anyone see me taking the hormones, or watch me undress in the locker rooms, so nobody would ask questions... and I wouldn't have to lie. I guess you wouldn't understand."

"No, I wouldn't," he affirmed nastily. He couldn't be nice about this; he didn't have it in him. No way was this the type of thing you could laugh off. "Midge, or whoever you are, I thought we were close, but... what the heck am I supposed to do in this situation? Just shake hands and bury the hatchet? You're a GUY! Even if you walk like a girl and talk like a girl, it doesn't change the fact that you've been... deceiving everybody, all along! I mean, why couldn't you just tell us?!"

"Because I didn't want to be run out of school," she said through clenched teeth. "Not the way I was when I was in elementary. When a boy starts wearing dresses, the other kids aren't usually so kind and accepting - and that's nothing compared to how the teachers react."

"Really?" It was very hard to entertain sympathy at the moment, but Reggie could feel the beginnings of it. "Did they literally run you out?"

"Not with pitchforks and torches, but... yeah. I got beat up so often that my parents went to the principal, who told them she couldn't do anything about it; it was just 'kids being kids'. So their intolerance was excused, and the Klump family relocated. To Riverdale."

That turned Reggie's world on its ear. Midge being a boy in girl's clothing was the entire reason they moved? He swallowed hard, glancing back toward his car, but unable to let himself drive off just yet. "They... beat you up a lot, huh? Like, noogies and swirlies?"

"Like black eyes and bloody noses." Her voice was so low he almost didn't catch it over the slight rustling of the wind through the trees. "Like broken bones, Reggie. In their own way, I know they were trying to get me to act more like a boy, because that's what they still saw me as. Their juvenile brains couldn't handle the concept that I was different. That's a lot to ask of children, especially since there's next to no education in the schools OR at home on the subject."

"Broken bones," he repeated numbly, staring at Midge's frail-looking frame. He knew she was tough, playing softball and everything, but it was hard to imagine anybody intentionally attacking her, roughing her up. She was too pretty.

"This arm," she said, pointing; his heart sank yet farther. "And a dislocated shoulder. Many, many more bruises. It's... can we not talk about that part anymore?"

"Nobody at school knows," he breathed. "That's hundreds of people, Midge, they all think-"

"My parents listed me as female on the transcripts," she said briskly, walking back to the tree and leaning against it. "Which means they fudged the facts. But nobody's ever bothered to ask me, 'Hey, are you really a boy who's taking hormones?' so I never had to lie myself, exactly."

Reggie didn't know what else to say. Was there anything else? He could just keep babbling about how he never knew, and how crazy this was. Nothing important came to mind, so he said nothing. His worldview felt warped, like he was in a painting by Picasso or Dali. That was it exactly; he was melting over a tree branch while descending a staircase in Guernica. Would anything ever feel the same?

"So what, you're disgusted by me now?" she ventured quietly.

"I... I dunno," answered stupidly. "This is a lot, Midge, I... were you really always Midge, or did you have a boy name?"

"Maybe I did. But that's not something I'd tell just anyone."

Suddenly, both of his eyes snapped open. "Moose! Holy bejeebers, Moose, does he know?!"

A sniffle as she wiped furiously at her eyes. "No, he does not. And he cannot."

"But you two have been going out forever!" he insisted. "And in all that time, you never talked to him about it? He never saw something, or- or FELT something out of the ordinary and-"

"Why would he? Come on, we both know Moose is... a fairly-simple creature," she said carefully.

"You mean he's got the I.Q. of a toaster oven."

Now she did look over at him again. "Don't talk about him that way. He's a beautiful soul, even if he's never going to MIT. But... like I said, I've never told anybody. Including him. One day, maybe, if we had still been together..."

"You would have laid it on him right before you had the surgery," Reggie guessed. "Holy crap, all this time, he's been making out with a man and he never knew..."

"Might I remind you that you got pretty hot and heavy with this 'man' a few minutes ago," she said smugly.

Reggie's stomach churned. Somehow, since he discovered her big secret, his mind had been forgiving enough to not put those two facts next to each other. Now, he realized he'd been kissing a guy, had felt... what could only be her- HIS arousal. HE, Midge, had been turned on, and Reggie felt it; not bare to the touch, but through undergarments, and that was more than he'd ever felt of another male in his life.

"I am still a girl," she reminded him adamantly, as if reading his thoughts.

"No, you're not," he spat, stumbling backward. "I felt it. Only guys have something like that, so... so you're no lady."

"Reggie!" she shouted, voice cracking. "If I say I am, then I am! Nobody else gets to decide for me!"

"Tell that to the huge, throbbing thing I felt between your legs!" He pulled at his hair briefly. "RGH, this is nuts! How am I supposed to look at you now - what do I say, what do I think?!"

"Nothing's changed," she told him meekly, now more scared and sad than angry. "I am still Midge. I think if you really look at me hard enough, you'll figure that out."

"I feel sick," he said honestly. It really was enough to make his lunch come back. "We... this is too... sorry, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Reggie, wait, don't run off like- REGGIE!"

________________________________To Be Continued...