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The Cake Games	By : kokoronoitami Category: DC Verse Movies > The Dark Knight Views: 6411 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Batman series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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That was it…

Although he was certain the Joker hadn’t suspected it, he’d unnerved him completely. Everything about the man from his mannerisms to his choice of words was just too… off. And if there was one thing that Bruce was protective of, it was his personal space, a concept that seemed all but unknown to the crime lord who had no problem getting in his face for nothing more than the sheer hell of it.

Nothing that man ever did made sense to him and he prayed to God that it never did.

He expected Alfred’s look of surprise as he stepped out onto the main floor once again, sooner than anticipated, holding his mug with a slight distance.

“Sir, are you allri-“

“I just need a break from him. I’ll work on him after the meeting…”

“But Sir, you were only in there for about ten minutes.”

“I know, Alfred. I knew it’d be harder simply dealing with him on a humane level. Beating the information out of him would take less time, but I made a promise to the commissioner that I’d try this approach. The Joker has been calmer these past few months. I don’t want to risk undoing whatever progress they seem to have made at Arkham.”

“If you need the bat suit, it’s ready.”

“Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.”

The older man sighed.
“The man is crazy, you know.”

“Oh, I’m well aware of that.”

“If there’s a problem, don’t hesitate to defend yourself, Sir.”

“I know, but ever since the doctors and psychiatrists at Arkham suggested a passive approach, I’ve had to be more careful in my dealings with him. Normally, I’d beat the shit out of him whether he gave me a reason to or not just to subdue him.”

Alfred smiled. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” he turned back to his duties before having a realization. “Oh, by the way, Sir I had your meeting pushed back to 3p.m.”

Bruce half turned as he peeled off the simple black mask he’d acquired during a masquerade a few years back, setting it on a nearby table, Alfred watching him questioningly.

“Are you sure he hasn’t recognized you?”

The younger man nodded. “He has no idea he’s talking to Bruce Wayne. I think he’s somehow amused with the fact that he’s interacting with batman without the bat suit.”

The older man chuckled.
“Well, that’ll keep his mind occupied for a while, I bet,” he supposed.

“I’m sure it will…” Bruce declared, the corners of his mouth turning up into the boyish smile that the older man hadn’t seen in a while. Alfred smiled in response.

“Ah, you’re going to have a field day getting information out of that nut job…”

“Indeed I am. I’m gonna go catch a shower while I still have time.”

“Didn’t you take one this morning?”

The younger man laughed softly. “Just being in his presence makes me want another one..” with that he continued on past him.

---- -- --- ---
The meeting had gone just about as well as it could have. He’d caught himself staring into space on more than one occasion, thoughts wandering to the monster in his basement. Only the Joker had the answers to his questions, questions that he had to somehow coax him into answering without punching him. Half of the meeting he’d been wondering just what the man could possibly be doing. He had left him with little else but a fresh cup of coffee and a blank screen. Was he bored? Was he wondering about his return? He was actually quite anxious to get back to the questioning rather than sit amongst a half dozen well-dressed and snobby workaholics and listen to another one of their immaculate and lengthy reports.

Secretly having the Joker in his basement was like leaving a new toy at home while you were at school. You thought about it often between classes and lunch, imagining yourself getting back home as quick as you could to figure it out.

By the time the meeting had ended, his curiosity was on fire. Alfred had forwarded some information regarding the cop’s search for the device, but so far nothing had turned up. How the Joker had managed to hide a device about the size of a small basketball on an empty roof was beyond knowledge. Having secretly abducted him, he was anxious to interact with the man on a civil level, his mind squashing the feeling of unease that occasionally crept up on him. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but nothing could have prepared him for their second encounter.

According to the files from Arkham, the man was generally more agreeable after consuming particularly sweet things, his favorites being desserts. Knowing that, he’d put on his mask once more and strolled into the basement cell with confidence, balancing the small trey with one hand. He would see if he could get him to talk.

The idea was entirely too simple. It couldn’t be that easy, he concluded. Still, it was the least violent option and worth a try.
Taking a deep breath, he pressed a button on the wall and the heavy iron cell door swung open. He was surprised to see him still sitting on the couch where he’d left him.

---- -- --- ---

Upon his entry, the man had merely twitched, head cocked and eyes fixed to a spot on the floor, blinking slowly. After several moments he lifted his head, seeming to come to his senses as his mind released him from whatever mental prison he’d been dawdling in for the past few hours. His smile returned as he registered the man’s presence.

“Ahhh, back again?” he beamed as his foe set the plate down in front of him. The Joker’s eyes brightened up as he immediately picked up the silver spoon beside it in a mockery of etiquette before slowly curving it down into the cake. It was several layers of a white cake topped with a buttery cream. The soft dessert parted easily as he scooped up a small bite. He opened his mouth to receive it, tongue testing the bottom of the cold spoon before his lips closed over it. Almost immediately, his eyes lit up as the cake slid into his mouth. He pulled the silver spoon from his mouth slowly, tongue pressing it up into his palette and slipping it around his taste buds, all the while his gaze fixed on Bruce. After much delay, he swallowed it, his tongue peeking out to trace the vermillion border around his lips in approval.

“Mmmmm …” he breathed. “You sure know your desserts, Bats..”

Bruce nodded.

The second bite forced the Joker to close his eyes with a sigh, breath quickening as the sweet taste flooded his senses, the cream melting on contact. It was pure heaven… so much so that for the first time he could recall, when it came to the last piece, he offered to share it.

“Bats….” he shook his head. “C’mere…” he beckoned. “Try this…”

“If you’ll answer my question,” the stern man shot back.

The other man rolled his eyes before nodding.
Reluctantly, Bruce reached for the plate when the insane man shook his head.

“No, allow me,” he offered as he spooned up another neat slice and then slowly extended his hand toward him. “Open up.”

In the seconds allotted him to think, he debated on refusing, leaving or harshly declining, his mouth tightening as soon as the spoon touched his stern lips. He watched the Joker cautiously, waiting for him to perhaps strike in an attempt to escape. Instead, the man’s smile widened.

“Have some,” he offered. Still, Bruce’s mouth was shut tight. The Joker prodded once more before continuing. “What harm is there?” he leaned forward. “C’mon. I’ll tell you something you want to know if you’ll indulge me…”

Bruce took a deep breath as he cautiously opened his mouth to speak. He didn’t want this to become an annoying habit. He would not submit to the man’s every whim as a means of information retrieval lest he kept it harmless. He would try it once and see if the other man would keep to his word. He had to tell himself over and over in his mind that he was doing this for a higher purpose.

“You can tell me without- gah..!” his words were cut short as the long-haired man quickly slipped the spoonful of dessert into his mouth with a chuckle.

“Oh… Shhh…” The Joker assured him. “I’m just asking you to try it, nothing more.”

Bruce’s eyes were shooting daggers at the man as he carefully removed the spoon. He swallowed it quickly, the Joker’s eyes suddenly darted to the small mark of cream that clung to the left corner of the man’s mouth as he pulled the spoon back and then set it on the empty plate. He then turned to him, unable to tear his eyes away from the excess.
Without a word, he crawled toward him, movements slow so as not to alarm him.
Bruce cleared his throat as the man unexpectedly came closer still. He forced himself to stay calm, not to scramble away from him in revulsion. He couldn’t afford to show any weakness or fear. No matter what, he knew that he was in control.

His guard was up as he could feel the man’s breath on his face as he turned to him fully, the other man’s pale hand holding on to the arm rest to his right so that he could face him.

The Joker cocked his head, mouth coming closer and closer to his own when he was no longer comfortable with his proximity, turning his face away slightly. The madman had a habit of getting close to him so that he could whisper something absurd to him whenever he lowered his voice. Only, he was coming even closer and still hadn’t paused to speak.

“What are you doing…” Bruce questioned, dark voice carrying the hint of agitation.

The wavy-haired man broke the silence, his crabby voice soft.

“Getting at that last piece that didn’t make it into your mouth. Relax…”

Before Bruce could protest, he felt a hot wet tongue pressing against the crease in the corner of his mouth . His nerves got the best of him as he flinched, eyes wide in shock as he forced himself to keep the bile down. The tongue slid back down, barely touching his bottom lip before being withdrawn. The contact lasted all of three seconds, but it was still enough time for the color of anger to come rushing to his face. He was just imagining delivering a swift blow to the criminal when he felt the warm breath in his ear.

“Listen carefully and hold still while I tell you,” he whispered.

“I’m listening,” Bruce assured him, fighting the urge to rush to the nearest bathroom and gargle with alcohol.

The Joker leaned into him a little as he spoke.

“I’ll tell you this much. The device was scattered into several pieces, all of which are tucked away safely in several different locations. So stop looking for the whole thing, you’ll never find it that way..”

Bruce turned toward him quickly, realizing his mistake as the Joker’s mouth brushed against his own. He cleared his throat as the other man didn’t seem to mind at all, his lips rubbing against his as he spoke.

“If you play it my way and bring me some more cake tomorrow, we’ll have a talk about the whereabouts of the first piece. Got it?”

The businessman forced a stoic expression, his posture the epitome of control regardless of the fact that his insides were turning… Disgusting as the encounter was, it didn’t require him to exhaust himself throwing punches and he’d managed to get a smidgeon of information out of him. Any little bit was useful. He needed to alert the commissioner right away…

Without another word he lifted his hands to the pale man’s shoulders, pushing him back with a glare.
“Don’t do that again,” he warned as the man watched him.

He folded his arms.

“You know, I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” he concluded.

“You wouldn’t.”

“You’re paranoid. It’s only flesh. I licked a little cream off of you, nothing more. Now, did I in any way try to hurt you?” his tone was deceptively inquisitive in mock innocence.

“The next time there’s something on me, tell me. Don’t help yourself to it.”

The Joker groaned.
“I know what you’re thinking.”

“Tell me how did you disassemble the device?”

One pale hand came up, smoothing a few dark strands away from the pasty complexion.
“Are you… afraid of being touched by me?”

“I want to know how you planned to reassemble it.”

“I like how you avoid my questions, but expect me to answer yours. Answer me firssst,” he hissed with agitation.

“What you’re asking is irrelevant. Now-“

“Liar liar, pants on fire….” he sang playfully, tossing his head from side to side before focusing his attention back on the other man. “I know deep down you’re curious. How could you not be?”

“All right. What do you think I’m curious about then, Joker?”

“What goes on…” he lifted his right hand, index tapping his temple thrice, “up here…”

Bruce found himself at a loss for words, expecting the man to simply spit some psychotic nonsense at him. On the contrary, he was right. Ever since the unpredictable man had shown up in Gotham, he’d be wrecking his brain trying to keep him in check, anticipate his moves. For the past year, being on the Joker’s trail had been frustrating.

“How about,” the smiling man leaned forward, “we play a little game of bat facts. I’ll tell you what I’m thinking and if you admit that I’m right, I’ll….in turn… answer any one question you ask when I’m done.”
The other man glanced down at his watch.

“Don’t worry,” Joker smirked as he leaned into the corner of the couch, looking quite comfortable as he pulled his right leg up a little, his left planted on the carpet. “Shouldn’t take too long..”

Bruce relaxed back into his corner of the couch a little more as he forced himself to be open. He was no psychiatrist, but often times he wondered if it was as hard as they made it seem. He could give it a try..
“Let’s hear it then..”

“Okay,” the Joker settled down and turned a little to face him. “Right now, I’m wondering what possessed you to put yourself in a suit,” he locked his hands before himself, pensively. Bruce gave no response, keeping his features stern. “Not that it’s a bad look, no no no… I still think it suits you…” he chuckled. “Get it? Suits you?”

“Have anything else to add?” the vigilante questioned without the slightest hint of amusement.
“From the look of that watch, I’d say you were doing well for yourself, despite your night job. Heh,” he took note at how his foe’s eyes averted to his accessory quickly. “I think you spend your days in solitude because your secret little night life leaves no room to be social.”

Bruce made it a point to hold the criminal’s gaze. He would offer him little encouragement into his conjectures.
The Joker continued, “I’m also wondering,” he tapped his index fingers together in thought, “..how bored you’ve gotten fucking skinny, whiny, needy spoiled girls that hold no fascination for you. You wanna know what I think? Of course you do. I think that you’re finally ready to try something new…”

“If you’re suggesting that I-”

“Hey, shh.. Listen to me. I think you’re looking for some excitement, no matter the cost. Only problem is, you’ve looked everywhere but the most obvious. Am I right?”

There was silence.

A cloud of agitation suddenly misted over the pale man’s features, his hands falling to his lap.

“I asked you a question. Am… I… right?”

“N-.”
“Ah, before you lie to me I want you to fall back on all those wonderfully righteous rules of yours. I want you to think of all of the virtues you hold so close and so dear to your system of trust… and honor…. and then tell me …is it really worth lying about it to someone who doesn’t even care?”

The jolly fugitive licked his lips, making a disturbingly wet noise as the unyieldingly stern figure before him spoke.

“Fine,” Bruce raised a brow. “Batman doesn’t need a social life. The safety of Gotham’s citizens far exceeds frivolous pleasure.”

The criminal’s smile widened even further. “See. I can tell…I’m not stupid.”

“Now,” Bruce began, “Its my turn. Answer my question.”

“Which is?”

“What did you do with the pieces of the device?”

The Joker rolled his shoulders in habit before leaning back into the couch.
“I can’t answer that one.”

“Why not.” Bruce’s voice was dangerously even.

“Because that question requires multiple answers, which I can’t give you. Ask me something else.”

“Where is the first piece..”

The calm criminal smoothed a few strands out of his face before answering a matter of factly, “It’s down town. There. I’m a man of my word..”

“It’d better be,” he warned as he slowly stood, keeping the man in his line of sight.

“It is. I know you’ll look for it, but you wont find it unless I lead you to it. Do you know how many buildings there are downtown?” he smiled wide.

Bruce spun his heels, leaving without a backward glance.
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The Cake Games