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She's Not a Saint	By : AsylumWritings Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 489 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman/DC Comics, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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“Lili, wake up.” I heard Jon whisper.
I slowly opened my eyes, looking up at him. “Ugh, can’t you ever do anything at a reasonable hour? What is it?”
My jaw was aching, and I guess he could see the bruise, because he gently ran his fingers over it.
“Did he punch you?” He asked, concerned.
I nodded, sitting up. “Yeah, he got me when I drugged him. It’s fine, just a bruise.”
He looked unconvinced, but got off the bed and helped me up. “He’s awake.”
“Alright, let me get dressed.” I pulled some clothes on, yawning as I followed him down into the basement.
Walking inside, I found the man dazed, but definitely conscious. I stood nearby, watching as Jon filled a needle with his drug.
“Why did you choose him?” He asked, turning to face me.
“He looked like what you wanted.”
He shook his head. “You went to a club, there would have been dozens of men who fit what I asked for. Why this one?”
I hesitated, looking down at the man. He looked back at me, his eyes wide with fear. The tape across his mouth stopped him saying anything, but it was pretty clear what he was feeling.
“Because I saw him put a drug in a woman’s drink.” I said, finally.
“That made you angry.” He walked over to me, placing the needle in my hand. “So, punish him.”
I looked up at him in surprise. “You want me to do it?”
“Yes.” He nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead. Then he stepped back, almost fading into the shadows.
I climbed onto the man’s waist, ripping the tape from his mouth. He fought against the restraints, making me flinch a little.
“Fucking bitch, let me go!” He shouted at me.
“I can’t do that.” I replied, glaring back at him. “You already tried to hurt one woman, and I doubt that she was the first.”
Before he could reply, I injected the drug into his system. His eyes quickly glazed over as he fell into his nightmare.
“What’s he seeing?” I asked, climbing off him.
“You can ask him, but people usually don’t say.”
I leaned on the chair, watching him a little longer.
“I didn’t mean it. It was just an accident.” He was visibly shaking by this point.
Taking hold of his face, even though I knew he couldn’t see me, I forced his head towards me. “What was an accident?”
“You ran in front of my car!” He snapped.
“Did I?” I took a breath, feeling a strange power building up inside of me. It was addictive, and I wanted more. “And you hit me anyway? That seems less like an accident, and more like you fucked up.”
“No!” He fought against some unseen force, then suddenly collapsed.
“Hmm…” Jon sighed. “He passed out sooner then I expected.”
I turned, worried that I’d disappointed him. “Did I mess it up for you?”
He walked over, shaking his head. “You were perfect, I just made it too strong. Come, we can talk upstairs.”
I nodded, letting him gently pull me back up to his office. Climbing onto his desk, I tried to calm my racing heart.
“How are you feeling?” He asked, sitting in the chair in front of me.
I didn’t reply straight away, trying to find the words to describe my feelings. “I feel… alive. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“It’s addictive, isn’t it?” He took hold of my waist, sliding closer.
“I want more.” I whispered. “Can we do it again, please?”
“Soon. I promise.” He looked away, shadows passing over his face.
That look was getting a little too familiar, and I reached out touching his cheek. “What’s he saying?”
He sighed, not replying straight away. While he was still listening, I slid into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He kissed me, just once.
I wasn’t completely convinced, but the adrenaline was quickly running out, and I was too exhausted to continue talking. He clearly noticed, because he gently pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“You need to rest.” He said quietly.
“Are you coming too?”
He shook his head. “I have to do my notes. It’ll take me an hour or two.”
I kissed him, then stood up. “Can I sleep on the couch?”
“Go ahead.” He kissed me again, then let me go.
Lying down on the couch, I was asleep less than a minute later.
He looked up from his notes, watching her as she slept peacefully. Things had changed between them, and he realises that, for the first time in his life, he’s really uncertain about the future.
Let me talk to her again. Scarecrow demanded.
“Why? What do you think you’ll gain from that?”
If she’s going to be around for a long time, I want to be able to talk to her when I like. Do I really have to justify it to you?
Jonathan sighed, walking over to the couch and kneeling down in front of her. “Yes, you do need to justify it. I told you, I won’t let you hurt her.”
I don’t plan to. I just want to talk to her without you in the middle.
“I’ll think about it.”
I opened my eyes, finding myself back in the bedroom. Jon was sleeping quietly beside me, his chest softly rising and falling.
Moving closer, I rested my head on his shoulder. He stirred, sliding his arm around my waist. His fingers drifted up and down my side, sliding inside the back of my shorts. He pulled my leg across him with his other hand, and he traced circles on my thigh.
“What time is it?” I asked quietly, nuzzling into his neck.
He let go of my thigh just long enough to check his phone, then put his hand back. “Nearly midday.”
“Do you have anywhere to be?” I traced the scars on his chest, letting my fingers linger at the end of each one. “Or can we stay like this for a while longer?”
“We can stay here all day.” His grip on my leg tightened slightly.
I climbed onto his waist, looking down at him in concern. “Does he want to talk to me? Is that why he’s been so persistent these past couple of days?”
“He wants…” He sighed, his blue eyes drifting over my face. Reaching up, he softly touched my cheek. “He wants more than just talking.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to think. “Does he think, because of my history, that I would do that to you?”
He sat up, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m sorry, Lili. Things were never supposed to go this far between us. I should have let you go after I used the toxin on you.”
“Why… Why are you talking like you want me to leave?” I asked, feeling my heart thumping in sudden anxiety. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No.” He dipped his head, pressing kisses to my chest. “I don’t want you to leave. I could never let you go now.”
I tangled my fingers in his hair, not calm yet. I knew he would be able to feel my heart racing, but I couldn’t slow it down at all.
“I don’t know how to keep you safe from him.” He whispered, holding me so tightly. “But I don’t want to let you go, even if it meant he couldn’t get to you.”
“Why don’t you let me make that choice for myself?” I leaned back, getting him to look at me. “I’m not letting you go now, and I can work out how to handle him.”
He gently tipped me back onto the bed, kissing me softly. “I can’t even handle him. How would you be able to?”
“Because I’m not inside your head, so he can’t see what I’m thinking.” It was my turn to trace his lips this time, and I blushed as he pressed a kiss to each of my fingers. “The two of you are smart, but you don’t know everything that goes on inside my head.”
He kissed me again, then got up off the bed. I sat up, watching as he battled the two sides of himself. And I felt guilty. It felt like this was my fault. Like I was putting him through this and making it worse for him. Then why couldn’t I walk away? Why was I okay with making this show much harder for him, just so that I could be near him? I was risking my body, my mind, my everything, just so I could hold him.
“Oh hell.” I whispered, suddenly realising what was going on inside me. It was so obvious, but it wasn’t something I’d ever even considered before.
Getting up, I stepped into his path and wrapped my arms around his neck. I wasn’t ready to tell him yet, but I needed to get him to understand that I wasn’t leaving, no matter the danger.
“I’m not leaving you.” I stood on my toes to kiss him. “I don’t care what he tries, I’m not walking away now.”
He picked me up, pressing me against the wall so that he was level with me. “You’re either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.”
“I think it’s a little of both.” I replied, moaning as he kissed my neck. “It’s the best way to live.”
“I just want you to understand that if I let him out again, I don’t know if I’ll have the control to stop him if he tries to hurt you.” His voice was a little muffled, since he was still pretty focused on my neck, but I still heard his words clearly, and they shook me to my core.
If I was going to stay with him, I needed to know that I could bring him back if Scarecrow got out of hand, and I wasn’t sure if that would mean compromising myself. I was going to work this out, no matter how difficult it might be.
“I would never do anything to hurt you.” I whispered finally. “I just want to know that if he gets control again, you’ll trust me to get you back out.”
He gently put me down, pulling me close. “I do trust you. I just would rather you aren’t in that situation at all.”
“Me too, but this is the situation we’re in, and I’m not walking away from it.” I rested my head against his chest, my arms tightly wrapped around him.
We fell into a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t calm inside my head. I was trying to work out how and when to tell him what I was feeling. I’d never felt this way before, and I didn’t really know what it would mean to tell him.
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She's Not a Saint