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Forbidden Desire	By : JLinz Category: DC Verse Cartoons > Justice League Views: 7307 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own DC Comics, Marvel Verse, X-Men, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited nor any of the characters from either series. I do not make any monetary value from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
A/N: All characters are from here: http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600060947 It's not necessary to read Speed of Lyght to get into this story, however...
Also, review replies can be found here- http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/53634-review-replies-and-discussion-for-kokoa-bs-dc-verse-stories/
Chapter Warnings/Triggers/Tags: SI, OC, POV
Auld Lang Syne

Why was I so weak for him? I was supposed to stay away from him, only to yet again, be drawn back into his arms. Was it fair to blame the alcohol? Did it mean that I was simply looking for excuses? It felt like it; as much as I had wanted to lay with someone that night, I had the bit of wits about me to had said no to any and everything. But I let him ravage me. Of course, I enjoyed it; the soreness was well worth it in the morning! Again, he wasn’t there when I woke and for the first time ever, he wasn’t there in the house. There was a bouquet of daisies waiting for me on my kitchen table, however and a plate of food in the microwave.
No matter what Venus tried to preach, this wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t need a part-time lover. I didn’t need a lover who was already committed to someone else. I had longed for someone to be there when I woke up in the mornings; it had been so long since that happened! Everything that J’onn did for me was outstanding and heartwarming. But I could only recall one time where he was there when I opened my eyes… and that was only because I gave myself a near case of alcohol poisoning! If I was going to wake up alone, I might as well be one hundred percent single!
I went back into the routine I started before my birthday; slowly inching J’onn out of my life sexually. This time around, it wasn’t as hard; my triplets were with me for the summer and I started teaching a week after my birthday! It was… well, very different from what I was used to! My classes were a mix of students, from actual children to young adults. All of the mutants defied the laws of physics, being what they were but I went on with my lessons. I was more or less bombarded with the question of why I was normal! By the time the last class approached, I was more relaxed and at ease with the students.
I walked inside the house and was greeted by the unmistakable sound of the Xbox being played; Naruto! I shook my head but smiled.
“Guys, that’s too loud…”
“Sorry!” I wasn’t expecting to hear Wally’s voice! I put my things up and went into the living room; him and AC looked as though they were in a trance, their eyes affixed on the screen. AC’s fingers glided over the controller with perfection while Wally pressed buttons with a purpose. On the screen, Itachi began a fierce combo attack on Naruto and quickly launched into an all team up ultimate Jutsu attack. Wally grunted loudly as he lost, slumping back into the couch.
“Mom, who’s your favorite character?” AC asked, looking at me.
“Nope! I’m done! Does this family breed gamers or something?!” Wally asked, putting the controller away. I laughed a little.
“I taught Ramil when he was five, I taught my kids when they were five! I take it he’s been kicking your ass all day?” I laughed more as Wally grumbled.
“Only for thirty minutes; we made dinner…” AC shrugged.
“And cleaned up.” Jamil chimed from the kitchen table, “Mr. Wally helped with most of it, though.” he was on his laptop, not paying attention to anything else. I finally noticed that dinner was indeed on the stove and it smelled wonderful!
“Cooked…? But… you guys are twelve…”
“We’ll be thirteen soon!” Jamil rolled his eyes.
“I know that, smart ass! And roll your eyes one more time!”
“Sorry…”
“Doc, they’re not babies! And I was here to help out.” Wally smiled at me. I was about to respond until I saw that he touched the communicator that was lodged in his ear, “Ah… I gotta get going. Duty calls!”
“Wait. They…” I tried to think of a way of asking without my kids knowing. But, of course they caught on. AC laughed a bit.
“We know Mr. Wally is the Flash, ma!” he said, switching games. I shook my head but gave Wally a smile.
“Be safe.”
“Always! Besides, AC owes me a rematch…”
“You might need to practice, first…” I didn’t mean for it to be demeaning but the way my boys roared with laughter, I couldn’t help but to smirk. Wally narrowed his eyes before leaving.
It felt good to sit down with my kids and eat, just like old times. I wasn’t too bothered that someone was missing! We didn’t talk much to one another at the table; I just enjoyed slightly studying their faces while they ate. Solonia caught me staring and smirked before she looked down at her plate.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
“… Daddy said you were having an affair…”
“… What?! He told you that?!” I nearly choked. I looked at the boys and they had the same sheepish looks.
“We overheard. That ain’t true, is it…?” Jamil looked at me. The last time he had that look of despair in his eyes, they were five and Tabitha had just announced that she was moving out of our house. I had to lie to them; I hated doing it but they were only twelve and didn’t need to know about J’onn. I sighed out and gave them a reassuring smile.
“No, it’s not. Your father… he has every right to be upset at the Justice League. And I think that he’s just really upset with me because of what I decided. So, he’s trying to come up with other reasons as to why I would stay. Saying that I was having an affair was the easy route out, I suppose.” I tried to explain.
“So… you’re not with Mr. Wally…?” Solonia surprised the absolute shit out of me! I coughed due to the fact I had taken a sip of my drink! I widened my eyes at my daughter.
“What gave you that idea?!”
“He… gave you those rose bushes…” she was the same mahogany as her father but I could tell that she was blushing!
“They were just a gift, sweetie. He’s my best friend…” I was met with slight rolling eyes but the three caught themselves.
“Mom… do you even know what that means?” AC looked at me. I smirked.
“I know that the red ones could mean love but they’re the most common ones! I have a few yellow ones and those are friendship.” I explained. I was caught off guard at their chuckles, “What?!”
“What about the purple ones...” Solonia asked.
“They’re my favorite color! I would hope that my best friend knew that much about me!”
“No, mom. Purple roses mean he really likes you, like… really likes you!” she explained to me. I could do nothing but look at her.
“Where did you learn that from…?”
“At school. Our teacher went on about what the different color of roses meant before Valentine’s Day…”
“Loni got a whole bunch of red roses!” Jamil chimed in. My daughter’s cheeks redden a bit and I couldn’t help but to laugh. Then, I remembered how old they were…
“Who gave you roses for Valentine’s Day?! You’re way too young to…”
“Moooom! It wasn’t like I asked for that!” she rushed. I had to calm down; I remembered when I was twelve. I was… very awkward… and teased constantly; my nickname was Olive Oyl. Looking at my daughter’s shapely figure, I grasped an understanding as to why she received roses from boys! I sighed.
“Sorry! Anyway! Trust me, Mr. Wally doesn’t feel that way about me. And I don’t feel that way about him.”
“I don’t know, mom; those are a lot of purple roses…” Jamil nodded.
“And Mr. Wally has never done anything normal probably his whole life!” I laughed, “Trust me, guys; if me and Mr. Wally were seeing each other, you three would be the first ones to know! And we’re not. If he has feelings for me…” I rushed when I saw that the three of them opened their mouths, “Then he needs to tell me straight up and not through a bunch of friendly rose bushes! And… why am I having this conversation with you three?! Eat!”
Of course, I didn’t want to tell them that it might be a possibility. But I needed a bit more convincing, honestly. When I thought about how much time we spent together, it made sense. On the outside looking in, it looked as though we were being awkward with one another, knowing that we both had feelings. But aside from his flirting, it was a bit unbelievable to me! Wally was a straightforward guy; he would’ve told me if he actually liked me! The only time I even considered being with him, I was drunk out of my mind!
The kids didn’t know what they were talking about! If only they knew how huge of a flirt the man was; I always speculated but after a while, I made up my mind and just took it as fact: he had plenty of women to go to. And there wasn’t anything special about me so why would he bother? Stop selling yourself short; we’re sexy bitches! The only one who thought that was J’onn! That’s all that matters!
I needed to find a way to murder Venus! Or at the very least, grow some backbone and stop listening to her! Because she had talked me right back into the Martian’s arms! He came by sparingly while my children were there (even years later, they were still delighted to see and talk to him), so I thought that it was a sign that things would end. Nope! No sooner had I came back from dropping the kids back in Birmingham, I got ravished! Well… at least it wasn’t a jealousy screw; it made me realize how much I really missed being with him.
It still didn’t make things right. And so, as the months went by, I started a ritual of trying to avoid Martian sex for a couple of weeks only to be swept up into his arms. He didn’t question the longer than usual breaks; J’onn just assumed that it was because of my new job. I didn’t feel too bad about not telling him the truth because that still played a part of it. I was almost always dog tired after teaching various aged people physics all day long; I had also heard that the school was prone to being blown up every once in a while: trying to avoid that took a toil as well!
The back and forth was getting me nowhere. I either had to be with him or not… and he needed to know the truth. It was coming up on Halloween and I thought about the party that Bruce was throwing. I didn’t want to go through what I did on my birthday (the drinking, yes; I had loads of fun being drunk and not giving a shit): watching Tabs and J’onn be around one another while I moped deep down inside. If I called it off completely, I wouldn’t mope as much. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt of him coming to me in secret. I think that’s what was killing me the most.
I was nervous as I sat him down beside me. The look he gave me didn’t make it any better; gods be damned, he really was a beautiful alien! Confused Martian was too adorable! I shook the thought out of my head and sighed heavily.
“What is the matter?” he asked gently. I felt Venus’s sadness and almost chickened out yet again. Don’t do this; he loves us and we love him! It’s not fair! What’s not fair is doing this to Tabs; what has she ever done to us? Venus’s silence spoke volumes; I cleared my throat and looked into his red eyes.
“You should know what’s the matter…”
“You don’t like for me to go through your mind. I’ve grown rather fond of you telling me your feelings instead.”
“… Even when you don’t listen to them?” I stopped looking at him; my voice quivered slightly with that last statement. Venus hid her face behind tissue. If you’re insisting on going through with this, then I’m going to make it really hard for you to do so! This bitch…
“I don’t understand. I always listen to you. Jamila, please tell me what’s bothering you.”
“It’s us, J’onn! I can’t do this, anymore!” I blurted out. The plan was to not cry but Venus held true to her words; my tears quickly landed on my cheeks. I found the courage to look at him, seeing that he had gotten silent on me. I couldn’t explain the way he looked at me; it was a mixture of understanding and… denial? As if he refused to believe what I said.
“That is why you’ve tried to avoid me…”
“You don’t feel any guilt at all…?”
“I do. But… I love the two of you the same. I’ve told you this.”
“It don’t make it right, J’onn! And I can’t live like this anymore…” I sniffed, trying to wipe my tears away. Without warning, J’onn placed his hands on my temples and closed his eyes. I panicked a bit; I thought that he was going to do something to my mind. But then I realized that he would never do something like that; the love that we had for one another was genuine. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at me with sadness.
“Our… affair weighed heavy on your mind the entire time. And yet, you continued to be with me. I take most of the blame for that. I feel guilty about the betrayal towards Tabitha. But, I don’t feel guilty about loving you. I have… so much trouble letting you go. But it seems that… you aren’t giving me any other choice. After all this time, why…?” he simply asked. My eyes welled up again at the realization.
“Because… because I can’t have you the way I want you! You say you love me but… you’ll never love me the way that I want to be loved.”
“Whatever it is that I need to do, I…”
“No. You won’t. And I won’t let you do that…” I cried. He fell silent for a while before finally speaking.
“You… I would have to leave Tabitha. I could never find it in my heart to do something like that…” he quietly answered. A sob formed in the middle of my throat and I had no problems letting it loose. J’onn immediately pulled me close to him, “I would have never imagined that loving you would hurt you all the same. That was never my intentions…” he continued softly. Venus was making me act like a fool and I tried to stop crying. But him holding me wasn’t helping matters. It would be the last time we would ever hold each other. Why couldn’t he just be the one? Why did he have to be my best friend’s boyfriend?! Why did he… have to love me?
J’onn made me look at him as he cupped my face gently. I would miss the way he looked at me, whether they were bedroom or simply loving eyes. This time around, there was a sort of sadness in them. I was being pulled closer but looked away when I figured out what was going on.
“No… we can’t…” I trembled out. We can’t even get one last kiss?! J’onn opened his mouth but I beat him to the punch, “If we kiss, I’d never leave you! A-And… I’m not gonna put myself through that, again…”
“Jamila, please…”
“You’re not mine, J’onn! You never will be!” I cried more. I tried to move away from him but he still had me in his arms. Even as someone knocked on the door and immediately let themselves in, he didn’t let go. Tabs’ face went from overly cheerful to confused to despair in under a second. My tears flowed more; we had been caught… and I was about to die…
“No, no, no, no, no; not again…” she rushed and before I could blink, she was sitting beside me, throwing her arms around me. Oh… okay… not caught, “Oh, doc; you’re fine! You’re gonna be okay! What happened?!” I had no idea who the question was directed towards; I was busy being smothered by two pairs of arms!
“Should we tell her?” his question shocked the hell out of me! Even Venus was left with widened eyes! He wants you to die…, “Tabitha… I…”
“No!!” I panicked, which caused even more tears. Tabs held me even tighter.
“Ssh, ssh… it don’t matter. What matters is that we’re here…” she tried to comfort; I felt like a child!
“… then we will have to take this to our graves…” he followed in his girlfriend’s footsteps and held me tighter. As much as Venus hated the breakup, me and her both gave out silent nods; whatever it took to keep me alive!

I was supposed to feel better after calling it quits. I would be lying if I said I did. I missed him. I still loved him. And I still wanted to feel his arms around me. Well… I missed being physical with him; J’onn still came around to spend a bit of time with me. Just when I thought things would get back to where they used to be, he would leave. It was a good and bad thing; good that he had control over himself… bad that he had control over himself!
At first, I thought about actively looking for someone else. I just couldn’t think of exactly who. Everyone I surrounded myself with were superheroes. When I thought that someone was being extra nice to me, it turned out that was just how they were; they weren’t trying to woo me! Which proved my point that I made to myself: no one wanted me. If they did, I wouldn’t be so lonely!

-_-_-_-

Something had changed. I didn’t know what but I knew that something was a bit… off with Jamila. It made me wonder if it had anything to do with that new job of hers; being around a bunch of underage Metahumans would’ve made me nervous! Then again, we were best friends; she would’ve said something to me.
I usually spent Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle. But Jamila had also invited me by (her excuse was that the triplets demanded I show up but who was I to tell them no) so I cut my visit short. They understood; Uncle Barry knew how I felt about her and Aunt Iris insisted that I tell her already! If only they knew everything; how a Martian silently stopped me from doing so.
I didn’t know what to expect. When I saw that several cars were in the driveway, it dawned on me that Jamila had family. I… I was going to meet her family. It wasn’t until then that I realized she hardly ever mentioned them. I knew that the majority of them stayed in Memphis but I knew nothing aside from her maiden name… which, if it wasn’t for me knowing Ramil’s last name, I wouldn’t have known that! I had no idea if their parents were still alive or what!
Instead of just walking in like I usually did, I waited after I knocked. After a muffled “come in”, I went inside and was bombarded by the smell of awesome food and the TV blaring a game. A mixture of displeasure came from her guests.
“Oh, son of a mother’s fuck; the hell kind of call was that?! You see that shit?! Straight up bullshit! HE DIDN’T TOUCH HIM, YOU FUCKING DICK!! They got it in for us, I tell ya! Fucking interference, MY ASS!!” there was the girl of my dreams! Anyone else would’ve been let down that they weren’t greeted. But I knew that football was her passion and she was prone to ignoring the rest of the world whenever her team played.
I took a quick look at her guests and saw that the only relatives were Ramil and Ashley, maybe a couple of others. Aside from the husband and wife, I had never seen anyone else before. Mila finally glanced my way and gave me a weary smile. I looked at the screen and her team was getting demolished! I gave her an apologetic look before returning the smile.
“I’m just going to fix me a plate…”
“Go ahead; help yourself…” she sighed out and put her attention back to the game. I laughed a little and headed towards the kitchen.
“Hey… don’t go eating all of that cake, either!” Ramil bellowed.
“No one can eat an entire cake!” someone said. I heard a couple of snorts and knew that it was the three who knew me!
“Okay…” Ashley left it at that. I was reminded that I had to eat “normally” and started to fix myself a regular plate. The small group in the living room became boisterous, Mila being the loudest. I could only shake my head; I would hate to see her at an actual game! A thought came to me and I grinned like a mad man; I knew what I wanted to give her for Christmas!
“Hey, Jay… who is that…?” for what it was worth, they tried to whisper! I didn’t have super hearing but I could hear better than a non-Metahuman!
“Who… in the kitchen?”
“Yes!”
“That’s Wally. He’s a good friend.” she explained. Whoever was talking to her let out a growl and never in my life did I try to stop a blush so hard! Not that women totally ignored me; I just wasn’t used to… that!
“Now when you say good friend…”
“Stop it! He’s just a friend!”
“So, he’s single?”
“I… I don’t know. But, I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of women waiting in line for him…”
“Mmm…” that time, I blushed! I realized that I was just standing in the middle of the kitchen, eavesdropping and went back to preparing my plate. I looked and saw that Jamila was in the kitchen with me.
“Hey, Wally… are you single?”
“Why? Looking to date me?” I smirked at her. She rolled her eyes but not before I noticed that her cheeks went a bit rosy.
“Someone else wanted to know, ass!”
“Yeah? Man or woman?”
“What if I said it was a guy?” she returned the smirk. I shrugged and continued making my plate.
“Just let them know that they’re going to be strictly bottom. I intend to keep my bottom virgin…” I calmly stated. When I glanced at her, I nearly lost it; the gawk that she gave me was priceless! I finally caved in to laughter as she narrowed her eyes at me.
“Fuck you, Wally!”
“Yes! About time!” I put my plate down but was greeted with a series of hard hits to my arm. Despite it actually hurting, I laughed, “Okay, seriously; whoever has their eye on me, tell them thanks but no thanks.”
“Oh. So you aren’t single…” was it me or did it sound like there was a bit of disappointment there?
“Nope. My girlfriend’s name is justice…” I couldn’t help being silly with her. More than anything, it made me smile to see her numerous emotions that eventually ended up in laughter. Sure enough, she sighed heavily, putting her head in her hands before an uproar of laughter escaped.
“I’m so done with you right now! Get out of my house!” she pointed to the door but still laughed. Another eruption from the living room grabbed her attention and she rushed back in, “Shit!! What?? OOOOOOHH!! FUCK YEAH!! Eat a dick, Manning!!”
… I was going to marry her…

-_-_-_-

Regardless of the slight flirting and silliness, I actually enjoyed having Wally over for Thanksgiving. He met all of my former co-workers that I was close with and the women wouldn’t stop ogling him! I found it a bit weird that he gave excuse after excuse to turn their advances down. It was as though he really did have a girlfriend. If he did, why didn’t he tell me?
I put it in the back of my mind for the moment. Before I knew it, it was Christmas and I had my babes once again. Guess since they were officially teens, I had to stop calling them that (fuck, I felt old…)! Either way, I had them for the Christmas break and looked forward to the holiday once more!
I awoke Christmas morning and had to remind myself numerous times that I wasn’t dealing with hyper little children anymore. The last time we all celebrated Christmas, they eagerly pulled me and Albert out of bed to go and open their presents. Seven o’clock in the gaddamn morning! The look on their faces was well worth it though…
I felt a bit sad at the fact that would be no more. They were probably still fast asleep and as much as I wanted to crash into their rooms and force them downstairs, I decided against it. I made my way downstairs to start on Christmas dinner.
The first signs of life happened three hours later as I was pulling the ham out of the oven. The three gave me lazy smiles when they came into the kitchen.
“Merry Christmas, mom…” A.C. yawned. “Mom”. When did I become “mom” and not “momma” or even “mommy”?! I sighed and smiled; I was being a bit too emotional!
“Merry Christmas. You guys want to open your presents, now?”
“Can we wait until Miss Tabitha, Mr. J’onn and Mr. Wally get here…?” Solonia asked. The boys nodded in agreement. I shrugged.
“Oh… okay. I mean, I don’t know if they’ll be able to make it but sure.”
The three arrived while I was getting dressed; I would’ve found it odd that the triplets knew they would be there but remembered that they knew we were all the best of friends. I stopped in the hallway and took the scene in. The kids were sprawled out on the floor by the tree while Tabs, Wally and J’onn sat on the couch. The adults noticed me first.
“Merry Christmas, you!” Tabs beamed. I smirked until J’onn automatically got up and approached me. I blushed furiously as he planted a gentle peck on my cheek. My eyes widened as my heart raced however he casually pointed upwards. I immediately narrowed my eyes; there better not be fucking mistletoe up there…
Sure enough, it was. I glared at the people in my living room. Tabs was trying her best to control her giggles while Wally gave us a wide-eyed smirk. My kids, however, rolled their eyes or shook their heads in disappointment. Jamil actually glared towards Wally. I had horrible children!
I had company in and out for the rest of the day. I was in the kitchen, making myself a plate. Wally came in and gave me a warm smile.
“Round five…?” I smirked which made him laugh.
“Hey, I’m behaving! Only three plates! And I still haven’t had dessert!”
“You better hurry up; everyone likes that caramel cake!”
“Great advice…” he went towards the cake, which was halfway gone, and cut a slice, “So… you know the kids are trying to get us to kiss, right?” he suddenly confirmed my suspicions. I sighed.
“That’s why I’ve been avoiding that mistletoe!”
“Yeeah; you might want to just stay in the kitchen, then…”
“… What…?” I gave him a look. Wally walked over to the entrance of the kitchen towards the front door and pointed. I looked and saw that there was an actual row of mistletoe leading towards the living room! I glared at him but he raised his eyebrows.
“This totally wasn’t my idea, I swear! If I wanted to kiss you, I would’ve done it without the stuff!” he answered. I huffed but shook my head, laughing at bit.
“I have no idea why they’re so persistent in trying to get us together! And, wait… are you saying you don’t want to kiss me…?”
“I… I’m going to treat that like a trick question and plea the fifth.”
“Sounds like a guilty conscience…”
“Nope! Because no matter how I answer that, it’s not good for me!”
“Okay, whatever…” I went back to making my plate.
“Unless you want me to kiss you. That’s the only reason I see for that question. If that’s the case, Dr. Lindsey, then you should just come out and say it…”
“W-What?!”
“Beating around the bush isn’t a good quality, you know…” he shrugged and ate his cake. I gawked at him but then narrowed my eyes.
“After all this time, I shouldn’t even be shocked anymore!” I laughed more. I hadn’t noticed that he moved until I finished making my plate. He was sitting at the table but there was a rectangular white box in front of him, a lovely blue bow on top of it. I furrowed my brow.
“So, yeah… Merry Christmas.”
“Wally…”
“Don’t laugh at me; I just wanted to give you this in semi-private.”
“Wallace, if that box starts buzzing…”
“Pervert! No! Why would I…”
“I’ve stopped putting anything past you!” I laughed and sat across from him. He pushed the box towards me and I started to open it, “Seriously; thank you. Whatever this is, you didn’t have to…”
“You’re gonna recant that sentence in a second!” he smiled but there was a light shade of red across his cheeks. When I opened the box, I stopped breathing. It took so much for me to speak; all I could do was shoot him a look. His smile widened.
“W-Wally!! This is… how did… oh, Wally!!” tears sprouted out as I gave him my best impression of an actual “glomp”. I was surprised that we didn’t topple over on the floor; Wally just laughed and hugged me back.
“You’re welcome. Now, they’re not actually on the fifty-yard line but the view is still good and it’s the last home game…”
“Wait, there’s two…” I took the tickets out of the box and looked at him, “Who… the other one’s yours? I didn’t know you were a Titans’ fan…”
“Pfft! Hell, no! I’m Arrowhead for life!” he proclaimed. I couldn’t help but to gawk at him: the tickets in my hand were for my Titans’ last home game… against the Kansas City Chiefs.
Instead of being offended (because he got me fucking tickets so I’d attend my first ever NFL game), I laughed and hugged him tighter.
“Whatever; I don’t even care! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…” I showered his cheeks with kisses. When I was done, I blushed as I saw that my three rotten eggs stood in the entrance with wide grins. I needed to ground them…

I was talked into throwing a New Year’s Eve party. I didn’t know how I felt about it; the last time I played host for a New Year’s party, I not only cooked all the food and did all of the preparations but I got zero alcohol and had to clean up the aftermath. I was assured that this would be different and I knew that my friends were right. Especially when they came by early to help me out. That’s when I learned that both Tabs and Wally knew how to cook (they were more prep help than anything but it still amazed me…)! By the time the first set of guests arrived, I had a clean house, food was ready, music was blasting and I was on my second beer!
This party was a bad idea. Not that I had an omen that things would go very wrong; the most that ever happened dramatically with one of my parties was that my sister-in-law’s brother got drunk and caught a case of the projectile vomits! It was… disgusting to say the least but I didn’t have to clean it up, thank the gods!
No; this was a different feeling. Mainly because Tabitha and J’onn would be there and I would be by myself. Again, something that I hadn’t thought about! Or, at the very least, I thought that I had gotten over it. But… I still loved J’onn. And to see him content with someone else, no matter if it was my best friend, did something to me. I was past the angry phase; it wasn’t fair to Tabs because she would never have a clue. As I continued to drink, I realized that I was going through my moping phase.
At least the party looked like it was a hit. I didn’t have a lot of people; maybe twenty people lingered around at any given time. But whoever showed up enjoyed themselves over the food, the drinks and the music. I didn’t want to be a bother to the loving couple; instead of being by them all night, I mingled as best as I could. Having so many people in my home all at once made me realize how moderate it was. So I knew sooner or later, I would have to spend time with my two best friends. A part of me wished that Wally wasn’t such a social butterfly as well as a notorious flirt; his company would’ve done me some good at that moment!
I made sure that I always had a drink in my hand, though. If I was being forced to be around Tabs and J’onn, I wanted to be too tipsy to care about the two damn near wrapped around each other! It was working for a while… until it got closer and closer to midnight.
I turned the TV on so that we could all watch the ball drop in Times Square. For the first time in a while, I had no urge to watch. Well, I didn’t feel like watching J’onn and Tabitha share a kiss! Because that was supposed to be me and J’onn. As he was in his human form, he glanced at me, his brown eyes flickered for a second. He knew it as well. And that’s what made me go into the kitchen.
“Already got the champagne ready!” my neighbor smiled at me as he walked past with the bottle. The countdown was already at twenty as I poured myself a shot of Bacardi. It was enough to finally put me on the low level of drunk; I thought I had enough liquid courage to celebrate with the others.
I chickened out. I made my way through the other side of the kitchen, towards the front door. Too many people would ask where I was going so my best bet was to exit the house from there. The air was crisp against my skin as I went around to my own backyard. I wasn’t ready. As much as I tried to talk myself into being so, I couldn’t bear the idea of watching them kiss. If anyone else would’ve known about my situation, they probably would’ve called me chicken shit. But this finally made Venus appear from hibernation; she agreed with the decision as I sat on the top step of my porch. This is for the best. We’ll just sit out here at least until everything’s died down. My thoughts exactly, Venus…
I tried to think of something else as I heard my guests ringing in the New Year. I glanced around my back porch; I needed some outdoor furniture. The only thing on the porch was the covered up grill and a couple of team wind chimes that sounded off periodically as I sat there. I used to have a few chairs… along with a playground set on the lawn. But a year after Albert and the triplets left, I gave those items to Goodwill. I had plans on buying a porch swing with rocking chairs to match but other events occupied my mind. I made a mental note to check the account tomorrow to see about placing that order…
My thoughts were interrupted as my back door opened. I looked over my shoulder only to see Wally give me a half-smile.
“There you are! What are you doing out here…?” he made the decision to join me as he closed the door and sat down beside me. I shrugged and looked back out into my empty yard, “You missed the countdown…”
“I suddenly didn’t feel like celebrating.”
“Oh. I guess… that’s my cue to leave you alone?” his words made me look at him. Damnit, he was really cute! His fiery hair was cropped short but always messy; I had this urge to just… comb it! When he smiled, boyish dimples appeared that upped his charm by a thousand! I knew that there was zero body fat in that lean frame of his as well, only toned muscle. And let’s not forget those eyes! I had never seen green eyes in person so it was truly mesmerizing to look into his. I was pretty sure that was a part of his method of making panties drop: give the ladies a smirk that made those eyes gleam! Had I not been aware of Mr. West’s ways, I would’ve possibly been one of them! Umm… what did we say about having those thoughts about him?! I know, I know!
“No.” I gave him a smile, “I enjoy your company.”
“Really…?” there was that smirk and gleam. I rolled my eyes and gave him a slight push.
“Not like that, perv!” we both laughed.
“You’re beginning to sound like Tabby!” he shrugged and looked out into the yard with me, “The holidays are pretty rough for you, huh?”
“At times. I guess not so much because I get to see my babies, now. But… it’s nothing you would understand…” I hadn’t meant for it to come out so cruel.
“What…? Why would you say that?” I could feel those eyes on me. I sighed and finally looked at him; he had the most confused look in the world!
“C’mon; can’t tell me you’re ever alone during the holidays!” I gave him a look. Wally shook his head, probably more in disbelief rather than a sign of him agreeing with me.
“I’m usually on some mission during the holidays. This year has been rare. Being a superhero is so hard on people with families or even with girlfriends! It’s not like we can set our hours! I…” he sighed, “Holidays are the worst for me. My last girlfriend broke up with me on Christmas… five years ago…”
“What?!” don’t believe him; he’s just trying to play the sympathy card! Doesn’t that sound like a movie or something?! It… did. But, if anything, Wally was my best friend and he had no reason to lie to me! He’s trying to get in your pants! No! He might be a notorious flirt but I was pretty sure he knew where to draw the line between the two of us! Besides… only one person was truly interested in me and that was the Martian!
“So, I may not know exactly what you’re going through right now but believe me, I have a clue. A part of me wants to enjoy the holidays still, like really enjoy them. It’s just… hard to do.”
“Oh…” if he was telling the truth, then he did have a clue on how I was feeling! It was possible that the reason the Flash flirted so damn much… was so he didn’t dwell on his heartbreak. Really? You’re actually falling for that sob story?! And here I thought you were a professor!
I ignored Venus and pulled him into a hug. I felt his breath hitch slightly in his chest; he was surprised by the move! But it didn’t take him long to relax as he let out a small sigh.
“T-Thank you. I should be hugging you!”
“We can hug each other. We both need it!”
“True…” he returned the hug. I had hugged him plenty of times before but this felt different. It was comforting. It was why I didn’t mind that he laid his head on my shoulder, actually snuggling with me. I definitely needed it; I almost started to regret sitting on the porch in the cold! But now? I was just fine sitting there all night as long as he was willing to give me some of his body heat!
We sat in silence as someone put the music back on inside. When Wally tried to adjust against me, his nose slightly grazed against my neck. I tried to control the shiver that leapt throughout my body; good thing that was an accident! At least… that’s what I originally thought… until he trailed his nose deliberately up my neck! Part of me stopped breathing, the other part made my toes curl. Oh! I told you! Setup! He’s trying to seduce you! A swift kick to the balls oughta learn ‘em!! I… how… I can’t feel my legs…
“W-Wally…” I moved my hands to push him away… but they remained still as I felt his lips press gently to my neck. That shiver I tried to control? No good! The best I could do was at least stop the whimper that threatened to come out! I bit my lip as he placed another kiss on my neck, “W-W…” I knew that it was only two little kisses. But they were two little kisses strategically placed right in my biggest hot spot! So my heart immediately leapt into my throat… and he knew it. He purposely started planting kisses up and down that throbbing vein, making my own breath hitch with every move.
I couldn’t even muster up the voice to tell him to stop. The real problem: I didn’t think I wanted him to! This… felt… good! I took in a breath as he exposed more of my neck to his lips. Holy shit; he was a vampire! He was gonna sink his teeth in and suck me dry! Of course, I knew he wasn’t; Wally moaned as he slowly covered my neck with kisses! I pressed my thighs together to keep the tingling to a minimum. This was his trick; this was how he got so many women in the bed! Because if he continued, I was ninety-five percent sure I would lead him back inside and up to my room!
My heart thumped harder as he inched closer to my jaw. By the gods; he knew what he was doing! All of that to prep up for a kiss that I shamelessly anticipated! Wally stopped and just looked at me. Alright; now’s the time to protest! You’ve had your little fun… don’t become a statistic! Venus was right. I opened my mouth to say something until… I looked into his eyes. There it was; that gleam. I became a deer stuck in headlights as I watched the emotions in his eyes: determination, lust and… awe? I realized that he wasn’t looking straight at me but… at my mouth. I could feel my entire face redden as he bit his own lips as if he was debating on how to devour my lips. Venus tried to get my attention but at that point? I was gone! No one, not even J’onn had ever looked at me or my lips like that! Well, the Martian probably did look at my lips in that way but… I was simply overwhelmed at this point!
He looked back into my eyes and I started to melt. Especially when he gently cupped my face, angling my head to better receive this kiss! Venus finally took notice and stood in dead silence. Oh, my God; help: I’m fucking melting over here! He hadn’t kissed me yet and I was already mush! He finally leaned in and our lips met. The spark from it alone made me moan into his mouth! This… this was some serious shit! I never would have imagined that anyone other than J’onn could make me breathless from a kiss. Well… happy New Year to me!
Wally moved his hands from my face to my hips and we were firmly pressed against one another. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his hair. That definitely did something to him; he gripped my hips as I felt his tongue darting around my own. I had grown so used to J’onn literally wrapping his tongue around mine; I admitted I was a bit let down! Still, the kiss was amazing! It made me wonder: if I was sober, would I had let him get this far? Was it because I was drunk and mopey that I savored this kiss?
I had no time to dwell on it anymore; I was soon on my back and away from the steps. We were still locked into that steamy kiss as I let him lay in between my legs. Oh… there was no question of his arousal: he was rock-hard! Damn; I wanted to say that J’onn was much larger but what was it with superheroes being hung?! True, I technically only been with one. But it was safe to say that Wally was about to be the second superhero I would have sex with. Not that I was complaining; by the gods, I tingled as I felt him throbbing through his pants!
I roughly grabbed at his short locks as his lips went back to my neck. He moaned and cursed as he slowly grinded against me which made me want him even more. Wally’s hands made their way underneath my shirt and he squeezed my breasts to his heart’s content! I didn’t have the nerve to tell him that it did nothing to me! But I definitely felt him harden more as he ran his thumbs over my nipples (they stayed hard, no matter what. It was more painful than anything…).
“W-W-Wait. Wally… are we… really doing this…?” I had to ask. He stopped and looked at me, his eyes full of half lust, half confusion.
“I… if you don’t want to. Or… maybe somewhere more comfortable?” he suggested. Yeah; we were in the middle of my back porch, in the cold, making out! It was a miracle that no one had come outside yet, at the very least to look for us!
I didn’t need Venus to inform me that I had fell for his trap. Because I was too aroused to tell him no! I didn’t care; I needed to feel him inside of me just once. Who was to say that I wouldn’t be able to turn the tables on him? That while yes, I would become just another one on the list that the Flash fucked, I wouldn’t be one of the ones on standby. That… I like that idea. He only gets us once and that’s it! Wait… you’re agreeing with this…? I’m intrigued by what’s in his pants… of course!
Before I could make a decision, I was hit by a stinging pain on the right side of my head. That right ear throbbed and rang at the same time which made me cry out!
“Wha… oh, my God, oh, my God!” her voice was slightly muffled but I knew it was Tabs. I had rolled over on my side in pain and closed my eyes. I was afraid to touch my ear; it felt like it was on fire so I knew that I was bleeding!
“Shit; Jamila!” Wally panicked; it was all I needed to hear. Someone sucked in air, possibly wincing, “Get a towel or something!”
“… What were you doing on…”
“Tabby!”
“Okay, okay! But… we should take her to the hospital…” her voice faded. Wally helped me up and held me until Tabs returned with a damp towel… and about half of my guests!

I sat in the ER bed shaking. Part of it was anger, the other was sheer embarrassment. At least it wasn’t as bad as it looked: it was only a surface scratch on my earlobe that didn’t need stitches. I would more likely end up with an ugly scar but at least my eardrum wasn’t busted!
My three best friends had stood around in near silence the entire time. I didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing!
“… Doc? I’m so, so sorry!” Tabs broke the silence. It made me feel a little better. I still had this urge to cry, though!
“It’s okay…”
“But, how the hell was I supposed to know you was gonna be on the ground? And why does that door swing out instead of being a regular damn door?!” she asked. Ever since moving into that house, I wondered the same thing! Never got a clear answer from HOA so I just accepted it after a while.
“Why were you on the ground…?” J’onn looked at me. Nope; I wasn’t gonna answer that! Besides, it should’ve been quite obvious! I glanced at Wally, who was damn near beet red! When he looked at me, he turned even redder and went back to studying his shoes!
Of course, Tabs noticed as she gasped and clasped her hand around her mouth. J’onn looked at her as my eyes watered.
“What? Did I miss something?”
“Oh… my… God! You and Wally…” she had to bite her lip to contain her wide smile.
“I am lost.”
“Really?! They were making out, J’onn! Right on the porch, ya pervs?!” she shook her head at the two of us. I tried so hard to keep my tears in. It had to be the most embarrassing thing in the world: one minute, we were making out and the next? I caught the edge of my back door on my ear! My saving grace was that nothing ruptured!
“Stop making such a big deal of it, Tabby…” Wally tried to lecture her. Wait… what…? Venus perked up and glared. I told you! Kick him; kick him, now!! I could do nothing but slightly gawk at him. He caught my eye and the frustration left his face. It was too late; a few tears escaped.
“… Maybe you need to go home…” I looked down at my hands.
“Who?” J’onn asked.
“… All of you…” I sniffed.
“But… I didn’t do nothing…” I was pretty sure that the look on her face matched the surprise in her voice. But I was not in the mood to look at any of them. I was already embarrassed enough; to hear that our heated moment meant nothing or wasn’t a big deal? I was beyond speechless.
“If it’s what she wishes, Tabitha. We will check on you later on, Jamila.” J’onn seemed to be understanding of the situation. If he felt how I thought he did, then deep down, he was furious. I had a feeling that he still considered me his: the fact that Wally kissed me was probably making him see red… or whatever Martians saw when they were angered! He kept his cool as he led Tabs out of the makeshift room.
“I said I was sorry…” was the last I heard as they walked down the hall. Wally still standing in his spot irritated me, to the point where more tears fell.
“Jamila, I didn’t mean for it to sound like tha…”
“Just leave, Wally…” I wiped at my tears and looked at him. He opened his mouth to say something but thought against it. He seriously looked dejected as he left; the way he looked made me want to call him back. NO! He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness! Don’t make such a big deal out of it! Her reminder made me cringe. Still, when the curtain was pulled open, I hoped that it was him. My heart sank when it was just the nurse to discharge me. I guess the way that I was feeling, his company was better than no company at all.
It was colder than I had remembered as I walked out of the hospital. Then again, about an hour ago, I was drunk and being pleasantly molested by a gorgeous red-head; it could’ve been snowing and I wouldn’t have noticed! I shivered and immediately regretted sending my friends away; how the hell was I supposed to get home?!

-_-_-_-

I was an idiot. All I had to do was let Tabby tease us but no; I had to say something to her! If it would’ve done any good, I would’ve banged my head against the building!
I watched her during the holidays and realized what was off with her: Jamila and J’onn had possibly called it quits. I’ll be honest; I lingered around a bit more just to see if I could catch the two in the act once more! That’s how I found out.
She hid it well until the party. All day, I tried to talk myself into at least telling her how I felt about her. She should’ve known, what with the kids trying their damnedest to get us to kiss! And the rose bushes. And the tickets. I guess I was too vague about it, still.
So, yeah; I silently watched as she tried to play hostess and avoid Big Green and Tabby. She wasn’t as drunk as she had been on her birthday but she was getting there. I had made up my mind: it was New Year’s and I was going to get my kiss in. I had the opportunity during her birthday but chickened out; the excuse I gave myself was that she was too drunk. Not this time. Wally West was going to do something!
I was so nervous when we cuddled! But that same scent from before engulfed me; that sweet and fruity aroma. It was definitely the best kiss ever and well worth the wait! I wondered if she felt the spark that I did once our lips met? That was truly amazing! From there, I just got lost in the moment. What got to me was that she was letting me do whatever I wanted. I was given free reign over her body! I wasn’t going to pass that opportunity up; I used a bit of my ability to carry us from the steps to lying on the porch!
Her body was even softer as I finally touched actual skin. She didn’t react the way I expected when I fondled her breasts, though. I told myself I would ask about it later; I was too hard and turned on to dwell on it!
I never expected to have to rush her to the hospital. After inserting my foot into my mouth, I did expect for her to not want to look at me. I left Jamila in the ER but something told me not to leave altogether. I perked up when the doors slid open and I saw Jamila walk out. She was completely sober and shivered. I rushed back to her car to get her coat and approached her.
“Hey…” without a pause, I put the coat around her. She didn’t scoff but she still didn’t look at me.
“Why are you still here?”
“How else are you getting home? I drove your car here.” I reminded her and nodded towards the parking lot. She said nothing as we went to the car. We sat in silence for nearly the whole drive, with me glancing at her so often. I wished that I had J’onn’s telepathy; I needed to know what she was thinking. At a stoplight, she finally sighed and looked at me.
“What I said at the hospital…”
“Wally…”
“Would you at least let me explain? I truly didn’t mean it that way. It’s just… that damn Tabby! You’re sitting there in tears but she wants to tease! Telling her to ‘shut up’ wouldn’t have done much. She just would’ve gone on and on about it even more!” I tried to explained. That damn Tabitha! She was always quick to call someone… well, me in particular, a perv. But would love to tease relentlessly… until someone reminded her that she was fucking a shape shifting Martian probably more than three times a day! So weird…
Jamila simply nodded and we remained silent again until I parked in her driveway.
“I’m so sorry, Mila. What happened on the porch… means a hell of a great deal to me. I mean, before what happened to your ear…” I noticed the bandage and looked away, “Maybe… maybe I was going a little too fast for you…” I stopped when she suddenly giggled. I thought about what I said and laughed along with her.
“Sorry!”
“It’s fine. I’m used to it. I’ll walk you to your door?” it was the least I could do; ask permission. She blushed as she nodded. I handed her the keys when we got to the door. We looked at each other awkwardly as I ran my hand through my hair. Of course, I wanted to kiss her again. At least this time, there’d be no interruptions! I just had no idea if it was the right time.
“I’m… sorry for trying to shoo you guys away…”
“What? No. That was all me. I panicked and… I didn’t mean it.”
“I guess you’re forgiven…”
“Really? You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“No, I mean it.” she looked at me. She was really cute, with those nice brown eyes! I smiled and nodded.
“So! What a way to ring in the new year, huh?”
“Only you would think that!”
“You can never say that it was boring!”
“That’s true…” she smirked. That was all I needed to know. She was sober… and there were no regrets. I couldn’t help reacting to that; she gasped as I suddenly took her by the waist. I lifted her chin and studied her lips once more; if she wasn’t rosy before, she was definitely rosy then!
“Good to know that kissing me wasn’t boring…” I nearly rushed and pressed her even closer to me. I didn’t know if it was my imagination but I swore I heard her whimper! I leaned in and right before our lips met, I jumped as J’onn screamed my name through my communicator.
“Wally!”
“What?!”
“We have an emergency mission. Come to the bridge for a debrief.”
“Right. On my way.” I grumbled but kept my arm around Jamila’s waist.
“Duty calls?”
“It never fails! Can I come by afterwards?”
“Sure.” she didn’t hesitate. My smile widened at what we would possibly do. Honestly? I was just fine holding her in my arms. Of course, I looked forward to making out! I let out a satisfied moan as I cupped her face, leaning in for another kiss.
“Wally, we don’t have much time…”
“Damnit, ‘Big Green’, I heard you the first time! I’ll be there in like ten seconds!” I growled and angrily clicked my communicator. I sighed loudly. The hell; was he spying on us?! Cock blocker! He wasn’t stopping this; he selfishly had his chance! But, to keep him from interrupting again, I grabbed Jamila’s hand and simply kissed it, “Happy New Year.”
“Yeah, happy New Year!” she just didn’t know how much it warmed me to see her smile at me like that! I smirked and winked at her as I took a couple of steps back. A couple of seconds later, I teleported myself to Watchtower. Tabby was by the control panel and gave me the biggest grin in her life! I became flustered and looked away, only to be met by the light glaring red eyes of the Martian. It took everything I had not to glare back; instead I joined Bruce and Diana and awaited the debriefing.
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Forbidden Desire