Writings of the Heart | By : meathead13 Category: Comics > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 3683 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter Twelve: Reconcile
The sun broke through the clouds for the first time in weeks and Carrie yawned as the sunlight hit her eyes. She pulled open the door to her mailbox, her arm feeling limp and void of strength, and she grabbed the handful of mail. After a sleepy track back to the front porch, Carrie stomped the snow from her boats, pulled them off, then used the last burst of energy she had to scurry into the house before the cold air hit her feet. She flopped down on the couch, startling Barry as he read through her completed novel. He stopped his work, now lost as to where his place had been, and watched as Carrie sorted through her mail. She tossed the newspaper to the floor, a magazine to the coffee table, and held in her hand three envelopes. Two were brightly colored, one orange, one yellow, and the third was a long rectangle shape and plain white. She set the white one down in her lap and went to open the orange envelope first.
“Huh,” Carrie grunted as she pulled out a card that was decorated with a turkey. “Thanksgiving card from my Mom.” She glanced at Barry as she sat the card on the table. “Only my mother sends cards on Thanksgiving.”
Barry gave Carrie a smile and nodded, then watched her open the second one, which was another card with the same turkey on the front.
“From my brother.” Carrie placed the card next to its twin, then shook her head. “Okay, this only proves that my brother is more like Mom than I am.”
Carrie then lifted the third envelope into the air and blew a puff of air at her bangs. “You know what this one is?”
“Yes, I do.” Barry removed his glasses and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “That is the letter that will make you a rich and famous woman.”
“Or a drunk and depressed one.” Carrie said, half-jokingly. “Get my bottle of Ernest and Julio ready.”
“Who did you send it to this time?” Barry set the stack of papers aside and scooted forward to sit on the edge of the chair.
“This place in Maine I saw on the Internet.” She ripped the side of the envelope and pulled out the tri-folded piece of paper. “Number 15 on my list.”
“15? My God.” Barry replaced his glasses, then patted Carrie’s knee. “Don’t worry. I feel good about this one. What does it say?”
Carrie took a deep breath, then suddenly threw the paper at Barry. “I can’t! I feel sick! You read it!”
Barry arched his brow, then popped open the paper. “Dear Ms. Matthews, we at Royal Grove Publishing would like to thank you for your recent entry entitled The Light in the Darkness-,”
“Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah!” Carrie snapped and waved her hands around in the air. “I know that part already! Get to the good stuff!”
“All right! Calm down!” Barry pushed his glasses up closer to his eyes then focused back on the paper. “ However we regret to inform you that we are . . . not . . . interested . . . ”
Barry words trailed off into nothing as he folded the letter back together and held it securely in his lap, his blue eyes fixated on Carrie’s heartbroken expression that she tried to cover with a smile.
“I’m sorry, Girlie.” Barry patted her knee again. “There’s always next time. Lucky 16!”
“Yeah, next time.” Carrie stared at the blue carpeting then drifted up to her feet, almost as if she was in a trance. “Lucky . . . 16 . . . ”
“Carrie, you’re not going up there, are you?” Barry pleaded. “It’s too cold! You’ll catch pneumonia!”
“Where’s my wine?” Carrie murmured before disappearing into the kitchen.
Leonardo felt his eyes getting heavy, and his face began to slide from his palm again. He jerked his body back before his chin could hit the top of the dusty CB radio, and he shook himself awake for the hundredth time. It had been a long night for Leonardo, the only one who would volunteer to stay close to the radio, and he hadn’t had any sleep. He had tried several times to awaken Raphael, but found his brother was uncooperative and still upset about the argument he had with Carrie. Leonardo gave up after around two in the morning and decided to press on, sending out messages over the airwaves hoping that he would hear a familiar voice answer back.
He placed his head back on his open palm, and his eyes instantly closed, unaware that his body was sliding out of the stool. A hand suddenly smacked on his shoulder, and Leonardo shrieked, jumped into the air, and landed in a lump on the dirty barn floor. He rubbed at head as he looked up, not pleased with the quirky smile that Raphael was giving him.
“ Mornin’ beautiful!” Raphael extended his hand and pulled Leonardo back to his feet. “Go get some sleep. I’ll take care of this.”
“Oh, now you want to help!” Leonardo snapped. “I thought you were too busy pouting to worry about this.”
Raphael wrinkled his nose, then realized that his brother was extremely cranky and chose to not make a smart remark. “Yeah, well, I got over it. Go ta bed!”
“I’m still upset with you!” Leonardo went on. “Carrie came in here to apologize and all you could do was yell at her!”
“Leo, do ya mind if we don’t talk about this right now?” Raphael turned the volume dial as he moved the stool under him.
“Actually, yes, I do mind!” Leonardo folded his arms over his chest and tried to not let his lack of sleep fog the long speech he had been thinking about all night. “She was being very sincere with you, and you just blew up at her!”
Raphael rolled his eyes and looked at his brother. “Ya know, it ain’t my problem if she was PMSin’ okay? I was dealin’ with it in my own way. I didn’t need her ta say anythin’ ta me.”
Leonardo made a disgusted face, then shook his head. “The way you deal with things seems to make everyone else around you miserable!”
The red clad turtle took a deep breath, then stood up from the stool, turning around to fully face Leonardo. “Why can’t ya just leave me alone? What happened had nothin’ ta do with ya, okay? I’m gettin’ sick of ya stickin’ up for her and treatin’ her like some fuckin’ princess or somethin’!”
“It’s called respect, you jerk!” Leonardo felt his lack of sleep melt away as a wave of anger flooded his mind and the tone of his voice turn wickedly sarcastic. “I realize that it’s a bizarre concept to you, but you wouldn’t believe how will Carrie responds to it!”
“Yeah,” Raphael sneered and narrowed his eyes. “And I bet she sucked yer dick too.”
“ God, I’ve had it with you!” Leonardo growled loudly, then turned around and stomped his way up to the hay loft. “ Maybe I should have just left your ass behind to die!”
“Yeah, sweet fuckin’ dreams, Leo!” Raphael yelled back as he fell back onto the stool. His trembling hand reached back for the volume dial, and a few tears found their way down Raphael’s cheek as he inhaled deeply. He cursed himself for feeling suddenly vulnerable to Leonardo’s words, knowing that his brother didn’t mean what he had said in the heat of the moment, and he violently wiped the water off his face. His knotted stomach turned again, and Raphael held back the feeling of throwing up as he ran back over his apologetic speech to Carrie in his head.
The barn doors creaked open, and Raphael quickly buried his sickening sadness, hoping that it was Carrie so he could apologize like he had planned. He spun around to instead find Barry walking toward him with a terrified look on his tanned face.
“Oh, it’s only you. Where’s, uh, the other one?”
Raphael sneered in disgust at Barry’s snappy tone. “If ya mean Leo, he’s busy jerkin’ off. Whatya want?”
“Huh?” Barry asked, puzzled by the turtle’s remark.
“ What . . . do . . . ya . . . want?” Raphael said again, purposely stringing his words out. Barry blew a burst if air out of his nose.
“I’d rather talk to your brother.” Barry folded his arms to keep warm, and looked over his glasses as they started to fog up. “Carrie’s already upset enough. She doesn’t need you to make it worse.”
“ Oh, well! What a fuckin’ shame! He’s sleepin’!” Raphael rudely answered after a long silence. He spun back around and messed with the radio for a few moments before noticing that Barry had moved right next to him. A low, annoyed growl erupted from his throat and he glared at Barry’s troubled expression.
“What now?”
Barry sighed and frowned. “I didn’t want to do this, but since this all started because of you, and since Leo is asleep, I guess I have no choice.”
“Man, would ya just fuckin’ spill it? I hate that runnin’ around shit!” Raphael stood up and narrowed his glaring eyes up into Barry’s icy stare.
“Carrie received another rejection letter today-,” Barry pulled the white envelope out of the inside pocket of his coat and smacked it into Raphael’s hand. The turtle stared at Barry for a few seconds, then read the letter.
“And what does this have ta do with me?” Raphael shoved the letter back in the envelope and flung it back at Barry.
“ As of this morning, she was still upset, and every time Carrie receives one of these, she goes on the roof and drinks.” Barry pulled his glasses down and wiped at the fog. “Now don’t let it bother you too much that it’s only 25 degrees outside and that the roof is covered in ice and snow-,”
Raphael rolled his eyes and stood up. “Yeah, I know where this is goin’.”
“And don’t think about the fact that Carrie isn’t wearing a warm coat in this 25-degree weather.” Barry continued as he followed closely behind Raphael as he headed for the barn doors. “Or the fact that she has no shoes on-”
Raphael let out a growl and stopped, turning sharply to face the coy grin that erupted on Barry’s face. “Ya really don’t know the meaning of the word subtle, do ya?”
Barry laughed at the sarcastic tone of Raphael’s words and pushed ahead to open the barn doors for the turtle.
“Not really.”
“...And it’s one more beer, and I don’t know you anymore...We’ve all gone crazy lately...My friends out there, rolling round the basement floor...,”
Carrie took another long sip from the large bottle in her hand and tipped it up to the dusky evening sky above her.
“...And someone saved my life tonight...Almost had your hooks in me, didn’t you dear...” Carrie stopped mid-song and scratched at her wind-blown hair. “Something about being tied, something, something, something...uh- Sweet freedom whispered in my ear....Ah shit!”
“ How about tryin’: yer a butterfly, and butterflies are free ta fly?”
Carrie whipped her head around the chimney and blinked wearily at Raphael as he crouched down on the opposite side.
“Oh, you again.” Carrie giggled stupidly. “ So, you come to take advantage of me while I’m drunk off my ass?”
“Uh... no!” Raphael picked at his fingernails and sighed. “What the hell would make ya think that?”
“I wasn’t thinking...” Carrie took another swig of the chilled red liquid. “I was asking.”
Raphael wrinkled his brow and shook his head at Carrie’s slurred speaking. “ Ya really wanna do it on the fuckin’ ice?”
“Hell yeah!” Carrie threw her closed left fist into the air and let it hang in the air. “What’s a little frostbite between a couple of rounds of good screwing?!”
Raphael leaned back and peered around the chimney. “How much fuckin’ wine have ya had?”
“Not enough for you, but plenty for me.” She took a drink, then held the bottle over her head. “Want some?”
Raphael went to grab for the bottle but instead found Carrie turned around on her knees and inching closer to his face.
“ How did you know the rest of that song? You know any more Elton John songs? I like his songs. Do you like his songs?”
The smell of wine from Carrie’s mouth hit Raphael’s nose and he rolled his eyes. “ Uh, Leo has the CD, no, that’s nice and they’re okay.”
Carrie laughed, then grabbed at her nose, only to laugh again. “Oh my...!”
“What?” Raphael asked, arching his right brow.
“I just...I just heard you talk through my nose!” She laughed again, then pressed the bottle against her forehead and crossed her eyes as she stared at the red liquid inside. “What the hell do they make this shit out of?! Grapes?!”
“Okay, that’s it!” Raphael jerked the bottle out of Carrie’s grasp. “I think ya had yer limit. Let’s get down before ya freeze ta death.”
“Okay...” Carrie grabbed at the brick chimney and pulled herself up. She placed her hands over her eyes and looked out across the top of the trees. “ Wow!! This is soooooo cool!”
“What now?” Raphael sighed as he stood and held onto the chimney.
“I can TOTALLY see my house from here!”
“What the hell did they put in this?” Raphael studied the contents of the bottle as they swished around. “Did ya happen to smoke somethin’ while ya was up here too?”
“Why? Did you want...SOOOMMMEEEE?!!”
Raphael turned his head just as Carrie’s sock-covered feet slipped on a patch of ice and her body slid down the sharp incline of the roof, the snow blowing up like a dust storm around her. Carrie screamed in terror, her fingernails scratching and breaking against the frozen shingles, but felt a sudden jerk as her lower body hit the metal gutters around the roof’s edge. Knowing that they could be the only thing to save her from a deadly fall, Carrie quickly wrapped her fingers around the gutter, and her body came to a stop in a violent jolt. Pain radiated through her shoulders and arms, and she clenched her teeth as the sharp metal of the gutter broke through her skin and warm blood pooled out. Carrie then began to sob, her drunken stupor a thing of the past, and she cursed herself between the tears that fell down her flushed cheeks.
“Holy fuck!!” Raphael tossed the bottle over his back and slowly made his way down over the ice on his rear. His heart pounded ferociously in his chest, almost choking the breath out of him, and after seeing the fear that sat in Carrie’s grey eyes, it only made things worse for him.
“Raph...help me...”
“I am. Just-just hang on.” Raphael looked around, losing hope when he realized there was nothing to use to hold him and pull Carrie up at the same time. Panic was setting in for both of them, and Carrie whimpering and sobbing echoed loudly in Raphael’s head along with the beating of his heart. After acknowledging there was no other way to get down, Raphael sighed and grabbed at Carrie’s hands.
“Okay, now listen ta me,” He rubbed her whitened knuckles gently, making sure that Carrie kept his eyes to his and not to the frozen ground below. “ The only way we’re gonna get off is by jumpin’ down-,”
“What?” Carrie’s eyes grew and her legs thrashed around. “Are you crazy?”
“Just keep calm, okay?” Raphael’s voice came out in a hushed tone that contrasted the fear he felt on the inside. “Now, I’m gonna pull ya up, but as soon as I do, ya gotta hold on tight ta me, cause I’m goin’ go straight down. Ya got that?”
“Yes.” Carrie gritted her teeth at the pain in her finger, the weight of her body pulling the metal deeper into her skin.
Raphael said nothing more, and leaned over to pull Carrie up by her triceps, using only his toes and knee pads for an anchor in the snow. He slipped once, but managed to balance himself long enough to pull Carrie up. She quickly settled against his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and Raphael returned her tight grasp as he flipped over and off the roof. The fall from the two-story roof seemed to go by slow for Carrie. She kept her eyes closed the entire time, her face buried against Raphael’s cold chest plates, and she savored the security of the turtle’s strong arms around her.
“Hey! Ya can let go now.”
Carrie flashed her eyes open and looked around as Raphael dropped her shaking legs down. Her arms remained around Raphael’s neck, and after making sure she was back on Earth, she looked back at him and smiled, a nervous giggle escaping as she felt a sudden turning in her abdomen.
“What’s so funny?” Raphael asked, smiling back as he let his hands linger on Carrie’s hips.
“Your eyes,” Carrie said, the alcohol starting to swirl around in her system again. “There are... little green specks in them. Never notice that before.”
Raphael began to respond, but then stepped backwards as the color left Carrie’s already pale face and she leaned over to empty the contents of her stomach onto the snow. Raphael shook his head and pulled the sides of Carrie’s hair back.
“Boy, ya really know how ta turn a guy on, don’t ya?”
Carrie coughed as she stood back up and wiped at her mouth. “I don’t feel so good.”
“Now, what gave ya that idea?” Raphael joked, then scooped Carrie’s weak body into his arms and carried her back into the house.
A few hours later, Carrie moaned and rolled onto her back, her eyes flashing open at the sudden surprising sight of Raphael sitting on the side of her bed.
“Shit! Don’t do that!” Carrie jumped back against the headboard, but quickly grabbed at the throb that vibrated from the middle of her brain.
“Don’t do what?” Raphael asked sheepishly. “ I just sat down.”
Carrie glared at Raphael’s cocky grin and gave him a fake smile. “I bet you did. How long have I been out?”
“Not long.” Raphael shoved a tall glass in Carrie’s face. “Here. Drink this before yer hangover kicks inta high gear.”
Carrie sneered in disgust at the thick, soupy red drink and cautiously took the glass into her bandaged hands. “What is that?”
“Somethin’ that saved my ass after those long night drinkin’ binges!” Raphael pushed the glass toward Carrie’s lips and turned it upright into her mouth. After only a small sip, Carrie pulled away and coughed at the pungent, sour taste that invaded her mouth and throat.
“Oh god! That’s horrible!” Carrie gagged and shook her head. “What is in that?”
“Whiskey, coffee, Tabasco sauce, raw egg, pepper, and some O.J.” Raphael shoved the glass back at Carrie’s mouth and held her down until the glass was completely empty. “My buddy Casey calls it a ‘Red Eye’.”
Carrie held the back of her right hand against her closed lips and shut her eyes. “That is so gross. So, so, so gross!”
“Yeah, but ya won’t wake up tomorrow feelin’ like someone hit ya with a semi!” Raphael sat the glass on the night stand and pushed Carrie back to her pillows. “Now, get ta sleep. I gotta get back ta that damn radio before Leo wakes up and has a fuckin’ conniption fit!”
As he rose to move toward the door, Carrie sat back up and held up her hands. “Wait, Raph. Don’t go yet.”
Raphael paused in the doorway, then turned back around and shut the door behind him.
“Look, I don’t need ya ta thank me-,”
“Oh no, I don’t. I mean, I do want to thank you,” Carrie brushed her bangs back and tried to hide the blush in her cheeks. “But, I just-just-,” She sighed, losing her words in a twisted mess, and instead patted the side of the bed. Raphael raised an eyebrow and sat back down beside her.
Carrie let out a puff of air and started over again. “ I think we need to start over again.”
“Huh?” Raphael blinked in disbelief as his heart skipped a beat.
“After what happened yesterday, it made me think about things.” Carrie pulled her knees to her chest and held them tightly in her arms. “ I don’t want to keep fighting with you like this. When I first got to know you guys, I always hoped that you and I could become close like me and Leo did.”
“And what we did wasn’t close enough?” Raphael joked, but stopped laughing after the dirty look Carrie flashed at him.
“ I mean that we never became friends, you horn dog!” Carrie glared, but laughed soon after. “And no more little meet-and-greets between us. I mean it!”
Raphael rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Boy, you really think I’m that shallow, don’t ya?”
“No, I don’t.” Carrie stated a factual manner. “I think you and I are exactly the same when it comes to love and sex.”
“How so?” Raphael narrowed his eyes in a quizzical manner.
“We both want love, but we’re are too scared to give ourselves completely to someone. So we instead have one-minute flings that give us instant gratification, not caring that we’ll feel cold and empty later on.” Carrie released her knees and pointed at Raphael. “And you know deep down you are like that, so don’t tell me I’m full of shit! You aren’t as complex as you think you are!”
Raphael laughed and smiled, then lowered his eyes to the velvet maroon comforter under him. “Ya know, there have only been two others that could really see through me.” He paused, then picked at the embroidered swirl marks on the comforter. “ Splinter, for one. But he raised me, so, ya know, that’s a given. Then Leo. But Leo ticks me off when he points out my faults cause he gets all high and mighty with me.”
“Older brothers have a habit of doing that.” Carrie offered a smile as she patted Raphael’s knee. “Chris used to do that to me to make me look bad in front of our parents. No wonder my Dad treated me the way he did.”
“Leo doesn’t do it ta make me look bad,” Raphael sat up on his knees, then hopped over Carrie and settled on his back next to her on the bed. “ I think he does it ta make me improve myself. He wants me ta be a better person-”
“Turtle.” Carrie giggled as Raphael stuck out his tongue.
“Whatever.” Raphael shook his head. “ But ya know it’s hard ta came to a realization about who ya really are. ‘Specially if you’ve been hidin’ from yerself for years.”
“And you’ve just all of the sudden come to a realization about who you really are?” Carrie joked, rolling over on her side to playfully poke at Raphael’s side.
Raphael shoved Carrie’s hand away, finding it suddenly hard to hold back the smile that was breaking through. “Maybe. I guess it just took the right person ta get it out of me.”
Carrie sat upright and tossed her hair back. “So, I just happened to be that person? I feel privileged.”
Raphael sat up along with Carrie and grunted a laugh. “Yeah, ya should. But don’t think that changes things. I’m still gonna put up a front and be an asshole.”
They then shared a hearty laugh, then Carrie extended her arm out to Raphael and flexed her fingers.
“So, can we start this over again?”
Raphael eyed Carrie’s slender fingers, then gently took her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Good! Now if you’ll excuse me,” Carrie jumped up from the bed and dashed for the bathroom door, her hand pressing against her stomach. “That Red Eye crap is coming back up!”
Raphael sneered his upper lip and turned his head away, but couldn’t help but laugh again.
“Ya need me ta hold yer hair back again?”
Carrie backed out of the bathroom and glared at Raphael. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.
“What? Just tryin’ ta be the good friend that I am!”
A/N: First, I’d like to apologize for the very long wait. It wasn’t my intention for this chapter to take so long, but when you are a working mother with a demanding child, it’s hard to get anything done! That and I’ve been finding it hard to stay up late and write these days! Secondly, I’d have to give love and gratitude to those who have given me such wonderful reviews and support. I have such a hard time believing in myself and what I am capable of. I can’t thank everyone enough for their kind words. Thank you all so very much! Lots of love! I hope to have the next chapter done by Christmas. Happy reading! =0)
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