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Waiting For You	By : MysticMewtwo Category: Comics > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 7074 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Playing with Fire
Chapter Fourteen

Shortly before dawn the next morning, Leonardo was awakened by excruciating pain in his jaw. The aspirin had long worn off and now he felt like he had a knife continuously jabbing and twisting in his face. In fact, it was so bad he was close to tears. There had been only a few times in his life where he experienced such agony as this.

He sat up then and stood to his feet. He walked to his bedroom door and quietly slipped out into the hall. There he made his way to the bathroom for more aspirin. He opened his mouth as much as he could stand and quickly gulped them down with water.

However, they would take nearly an hour at least to have any affect, and he needed something to bring down the pain and swelling almost immediately. Otherwise, he was certain he really might cry. He decided to head downstairs to make another ice pack.

The lair was silent as he walked to the kitchen. Everyone else was still sound asleep and would not be stirring for another couple of hours at least, or so he thought. He noticed the light in the kitchen was on as he drew closer and he could detect the scent of freshly brewed coffee lingering in the air. He assumed Donatello may have pulled one of his all-nighters again.

Leo walked into the room and then suddenly gave a pause. Where he expected to find his genius younger brother, there instead at the table sat Raphael with a cup of the coffee made his favorite way; straight black. Tension began to build as the two briefly locked gazes. For a moment, Leo reconsidered the ice pack and leaving, but his jaw was screaming at him for relief.

It was Raph who looked away first, seemingly abashed. Leo finally moved to the refrigerator and found a plastic Ziploc bag to fill it with ice. He pressed the ice bag to his face and shivered as it came in contact with his skin, but the cold was swiftly numbing the pain. He groaned softly under his breath as the throbbing began to ease.

He sat down at the table then opposite of his brother, but he made no eye contact with him. He concentrated instead on keeping the ice on his swollen face. However, he could feel Raph watching him once or twice, but he spoke not a word. Silence reigned over them like a thick, suffocating fog.

Raphael was currently raging a war with himself. He felt guilty, but he wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry" was two words he usually struggled to get out. He was just better at forgetting the whole thing and pretending it didn’t happen. Looking at his brother's face, though, he couldn’t pretend he didn't nearly punch his lights out. That whole side of his face was one massive purple and blue-black bruise that stood out in sharp contrast against his emerald-green skin.

After a few minutes of internal debating, he finally worked up enough courage to speak. He cleared his throat roughly and succeeded in getting Leo's attention as the blue-masked ninja looked up at him warily, but curiously.

"So, uh, how's the jaw?" Raph asked, a little hesitantly.

As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized it was a stupid question, but there was no turning back now. Leo raised an eye-ridge and gave him an incredulous stare. How did he think it felt? Yeah, it was fine, except he couldn't talk; couldn't move the entire right side of his face without the overwhelming desire to scream.

Raph grimaced at his brother's look towards him. It didn't take a genius to see he was in terrible agony. There were even tears bordering on the edge of his eyes, and Leo rarely cried. He felt like such a jackass.

"Uh, right," he said, sheepishly.

Raphael glanced away for a moment as he tried to piece his thoughts together. He knew he should apologize to Leonardo, but how could he put it where it didn’t sound sappy? Genuine apologies were meant to be sappy, however, and he really was sorry. He sighed heavily then and ran his hand behind his head. Well, here went nothing.

"Listen, Leo," he started, his voice lowered, "I, uh..."

He swallowed nervously. Damnit, why was this so fucking hard?!

"I'm sorry 'bout what happened last night," Raph continued, after a moment, "I shouldn't have hit you. I got... outta control. And... and if there's anything you need, I'll do it."

The expression on Leo's face softened considerably. Although, he couldn't speak, his eyes communicated well the fact that he would accept the apology. He watched his brother for a few moments, however, hoping he would extend it further, but Raph was finished as far as he was concerned. He'd said what was needed and he had no other regrets.

Leo sighed to himself as the silence continued. To say he was disappointed would have been an understatement. He should've known Raph would never admit he was wrong unless he came to terms to himself on it. Therefore while he felt guilty for hitting him, he didn't feel guilty at all for what he had said about Alisa and to Leo that meant more than the punch itself. It didn't surprise him, however, but it didn't stop him from feeling a little upset on the matter either.

By now, his face had grown mercifully numb from the cold of the ice pack, but the aspirin was beginning to work as well. The swelling had gone down and the pain was little more than a dull ache. He considered then going back to bed and maybe catching a little more sleep before the others stirred.

She couldn't have been there for more than a few seconds, but Leo suddenly became aware of her presence at the kitchen. He turned his head towards the doorway and found Alisa standing at the threshold. She was still dressed in her nightgown and was barefoot. Her hair was mussed and she looked sleepy as if she had just awakened. He felt his heart beat abruptly quicken as he gazed at her. Her disheveled appearance only served for him to find her as lovely as ever and it was endearing besides.

"Good morning," he managed to open his mouth to speak, his voice low.

"Good morning," she murmured, softly.

She then glanced over at the turtle in red sitting across from him at the table. He cradled a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Good morning, Raphael," she said, a little cautiously.

She was not surprised when he did not respond. As usual, he was ignoring her, but she tried anyway to be civil to him when she could. It was the right thing to do after all, but she was starting to get irritated by his childish behavior.

"You're up rather early," Leo commented then, as he attempted to break the uncomfortable silence, "Is something wrong?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head, "I woke up to use the bathroom and I was thirsty, so I came down here for a glass of water."

"Sure," he said.

She smiled and walked further into the kitchen to get a glass out of the cupboard. She took the pitcher of cold water from refrigerator and filled it to the top. After returning the pitcher to the fridge, she carried her glass to the table to sit down beside Leonardo. She took a long drink of the water before she spoke again.

"How's your face?" she asked, quietly.

"Mm, better now after aspirin and this ice pack," he answered, still speaking carefully, "Doesn't feel like I've got one of my own katana rammed in there."

She winced empathically, but then was nearly horrified when she saw the colorful palette marred on his skin as he took away the ice pack.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, lowering her eyes.

He blinked, caught off guard by her apology. Was she trying to place blame on herself for his injury? It wasn't even her fault.

"This isn't your fault, Alisa," he told her, softly, "And don't let anyone make you feel that way either. You are not responsible for what happened."

"Except the fact you're still here," came the derisive growl across the table suddenly.

"Raph!" Leo hissed, but then winced in pain.

The ice pack immediately returned to his jaw. He knew he'd overdone it and now he couldn’t speak anymore at all in her defense. She was alone against his brother unless Raph tried anything. Then she wouldn't be alone because he would stand to protect her. However, he couldn't see even his hot-headed brother hitting her, but Leo was on a watchful guard nevertheless.

For a moment, Alisa did not look at Raphael. In fact, she remained as still as a statue. When she finally lifted her gaze to him, her face was hard, expressionless, but her eyes were calculating; questioning.

"Do you fear me, Raphael?" she asked, dead-panned.

The red-masked turtle nearly choked on his coffee then and for a few moments, there was only the sound of violent coughing.

"Do I what?" he finally sputtered.

"Do you fear me?" she repeated.

He suddenly stood and leaned dangerously close to her across the table. She could feel his breath on her face, but she didn’t flinch or turn away. She never broke eye contact with him.

"Lady," he spat, his voice a low snarl, "I ain't afraid of nothin', especially no little Foot bitch like you."

"I am not the Foot, Raphael," she replied, softly, but firmly, "I may have trained with the Shredder, but I never joined him. I am not your enemy."

"I'll decide that for myself," he growled, "Just stay the hell away from me and I stay away from you. Got it? And quit tryin' your buddy-buddy shit with me. It ain't workin' and it's only pissin' me off more."

She did not speak at first and her gaze still did not waver either from his eyes. It was making him feel uneasy, which in turn only served to anger him more.

"You are afraid," she declared, quietly, "You are afraid of your own emotions that you hide them under a sea of anger and bitterness."

It happened before any of them could blink. Raph pulled back his arm to slap her, but in the next instant he nearly lost his balance in surprise as he found himself swinging at only air. He stared in disbelief at the empty chair she occupied mere moments before and where she stood now almost half way across the kitchen. He never saw her move.

Leo too was stunned at what had just taken place. He had jumped to his feet to intervene the moment he saw his brother prepare to hit Alisa, but realized he didn't have to after all. It was like she just vanished before his eyes and then reappeared moments later several dozen feet away; escaping virtually unharmed.

Once he recovered from the initial shock of the scene, he angrily turned towards Raph.

"Get out of here and go cool off," Leo ordered, "Now."

Raph walked menacingly to his brother to stand nose to nose to him and glared; daring him to make him. However, Leo didn’t budge and stared back with as much ferocity. The red-masked turtle breathed heavily with pent-up rage, and surely would’ve decked him again had he not made the mistake of looking at his face and that terrible bruise which caused his guilty conscience to return. He backed off and stomped away then out of the kitchen, muttering obscenities under his breath.

Leo listened to his retreating footsteps until they were too faint and then breathed out a heavy sigh. This couldn't go on. Something had to be done. He never would have imagined his brother would attempt to strike at Alisa. By some miracle, he missed, and he wondered how it was possible. Raph's aim, if sometimes it was a bit wild, was always accurate. How did she manage to get away so fast?

After a moment, he turned and walked to where the young woman stood. She appeared to be a little shaken and her face was pale. He reached to lay a hand on her shoulder gently and she started at his touch before she quickly calmed down.

"Hey, it's okay," he spoke to her, softly, "He's gone now."

She nodded her head numbly, but it wasn't Raphael that had left her feeling like this. It was the use of her powers that always terrified her, but she had done it to avoid creating a situation where the outcome would not have fared as well as it did. Still, she detested using any of her powers, even the super speed. She felt freakish and alienated.

Leonardo could sense how unhappy she was and wanted nothing more than to set things right. He felt guilty she was caught up in the middle of a war. Don had warned him of this over a month ago. He didn't want to see her regress, not after everything had been going so well for her.

He loved to see her smile and her eyes would light up with their own inner glow. She was lovely and vibrant, sweet and gentle, but at times shrewd and cunning. Only he had ever dared to say anything like that to Raphael before in such a direct and forward manner. It wasn't maybe exactly the smartest thing to do, but Leo had to admire her courage. That took guts.

"I think I'm going to go back to bed now," she finally said, quietly.

"All right," he replied, his own voice low, "Would you like me to walk with you upstairs?"

He was somewhat wary Raph might be lurking nearby still. He didn't want her running into him, not when his temper was flaring that highly. Leo watched her as she cast a brief glance towards the empty doorway as if she were trying to gauge the surroundings beyond it.

"I think I would feel safer if you did," she admitted, softly.

He nodded his head as he agreed and the two then ventured out of the kitchen. There was no sign of the red-masked ninja anywhere, but Leo could hear what sounded like muffled thuds coming from across the lair in the dojo. Most likely, he was taking his aggression out on the punching bag as he often did. That helped to blow off some of his steam and keep him from doing more damage.

Quietly, they climbed the stairs to the second floor. At the top, they separated to go off to their respective rooms. Leo took a few steps towards his, but abruptly paused and turned slightly to glance behind him. He watched her walk away until she disappeared around the bend in the hall and he heard her door softly click shut a few moments later.

He sighed to himself then and continued on his way. There was a strange ache in his heart and he felt as if there were something heavy pressing down on his chest. He wanted to do more to comfort her, but he wasn't sure what. He would've given anything if he could only hold her in his arms; to have her close to him.

He suddenly shook his head furiously then to dispel these thoughts. What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn’t do that as such an action was usually reserved to those who were… in love. He stopped short inside his bedroom at the thought. Did he love her?

Well, of course he loved her, but as a friend. He cared about her in ways a friend should. That’s all they were after all; friends. Then why, however, had he developed lately these new, unknown feelings towards her? Why now did he feel so... empty without her?

Leo sat on the edge of his bed, dropping his head in one hand. He was so confused and frustrated by his emotions. The last time this happened, he was skewered in the shoulder by his own weapon for his efforts. He had vowed afterwards never to let his heart be overwhelmed again. Though he had changed much since that promise, he still closely guarded where he was most vulnerable; until now.

Alisa had slowly worked to break that wall; brick by brick. He had done it for her in much the same fashion over the past month and he realized they had been helping each other whether the other was aware or not. As a result, she was starting to live life again rather than survive it and a part of him he had sealed away indefinitely was beginning to open to feeling once more. Those emotions were currently threatening to suffocate him.

Leonardo was not at all certain or convinced that he could be in love with her. It just didn't make any sense. Besides, he was a turtle and she was a human. What could she possibly see in him? It would never work, though he wanted to wish it otherwise.

He closed his eyes then and fought the urge rising within him to scream. He wanted so badly to talk to someone about this. He needed help sorting out these emotions and to understand what they truly meant. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of options to turn to on these matters. Mikey would make fun of him, Donny might think he had finally gone insane, and Raph... Well, Raph was definitely out.

That left Splinter, but while he usually sought guidance from the venerable rat, this was something Leo felt he'd rather not discuss with him. So who else was there he could go to? Maybe April, but what if she laughed at him? No, he was certain she wouldn't, but he couldn't help be nervous and even a little scared as he would be sharing such deep and raw emotions.

He preferred to keep his problems to himself, locked away and bottled tightly, and letting them fester until he eventually worked past them or the pressure became so intense he would explode. He tried not to let it go that far anymore, however. Which was why now he was making a decision to talk to someone before he completely lost control.

He lifted his head then to glance at the clock on the nightstand. It was barely 5 a.m. April would not be up for hours. He would have to wait a little longer before he could call her, or he considered perhaps paying her a visit to ensure a more private setting. Phones didn’t allow for more than casual conversation as it tended to attract unwanted listeners, and Leonardo did not want the information falling on the wrong ears.

For now, he had to figure out what to do with himself in that time. Sleep was not an option anymore as his mind was too full to quiet. That also ruled out meditation for the same reasons. There were simply too many thoughts for him to empty. He would've liked to go back downstairs to dispel some of the frustration and energy built up within him in the dojo, but Raphael was still there and he wanted do his best to avoid him as much as possible.

He thought about reading one of the many new books he recently acquired in a junk yard raid last week, but it didn't hold any interest to him. Neither did drawing, and usually it was the one thing that could calm him down when nothing else would. He let his eyes wander aimlessly over the nightstand until they settled on his portable CD player. Maybe perhaps listening to music would help? He had no more alternatives left, so he supposed it was worth a try.

He picked up the player and placed the headphones on his head. He then sat further up in his bed to lean against the headboard. He checked the CD, found it was the one he wanted, and pressed the play button. He skipped to his favorite track and moments later, a calming, gentle New Age instrumental began. He closed his eyes as the song swept its effects over him.

It was his favorite for good reason. This particular song had the ability to reach in places of him where few other things could. He finally began to feel at peace again, and as the last notes faded, he was sound asleep.

End Chapter Fourteen

A/N: The song I'm referring to is called "Ocean Dreams" by David Arkenstone. It is beautiful; so soothing and calming. It is my favorite for good reason and I play it over and over without ever growing tired of it. So I imagine Leo would like it as well.
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Waiting For You