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Forbidden Desire	By : JLinz Category: DC Verse Cartoons > Justice League Views: 7307 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own DC Comics, Marvel Verse, X-Men, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited nor any of the characters from either series. I do not make any monetary value from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
A/N: All characters are from here: http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600060947 It's not necessary to read Speed of Lyght to get into this story, however...
Also, review replies can be found here- http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/53634-review-replies-and-discussion-for-kokoa-bs-dc-verse-stories/
Inspiration for the love scene came from ChrissyQuinn!
Chapter Warnings/Triggers/Tags: POV, SI, OC, Solo, Other, Bond, Xeno

Loving You is Wrong But…
What was I doing there? She needed someone to be there for her, that’s why. Wait; why was I questioning it? I long since made up my mind and told myself that I would stay by her side.
My own heart finally settled a bit as I watched her quietly. She was, well, sedated; it was a stretch to call her relaxed. The only sounds in the room were the periodical beeps from the machine that monitored her blood pressure ever so often. I was elated to see that they were finally reading normal!
An hour ago, we were thrown out of Mila’s house. Tabby was in tears and I had to quickly explain what happened to a very confused Martian. I was trying to think of what to do next when J’onn suddenly stiffened and put his attention towards Jamila’s door. The only thing I heard from him was that she was calling for help; if her pleas were enough to cause him concern, whether they were fucking or not, it was more than enough to put me on alert!
Before J’onn could do anything, I pushed Tabby towards him and ran in. She was on the ground as I saw beads of sweat on her arms, face and legs. She was pale and her entire body trembled as her breaths came in short gasps. I gathered her in my arms, staying on the ground with her. Her eyes were wide and wild; she truly was struggling.
“Doc… Jamila…”
“Oh, my God, oh, my God; I killed her… I killed her! I-I-I’m so sorry, Jamila!! I didn’t mean to make you die!! P-Please…” and now I had to deal with two women panicking! This was the last thing that we all needed and I accidentally glared at Tabby.
“She’s not dying; she’s having a panic attack!” I hissed and put my attention back to her, “Jamila? Mila, look at me…” I was glad that she at least did that but her breathing was still erratic.
“I… can’t… brea…”
“Yes, you can! Listen to me: once you calm down, everything will be…”
“I…… can’t… br…” she tried to tell me with more urgency. What hurt me the most was that this was real. I never had a panic attack before but I knew that they were very real to those who suffered through them. They were no joke and I knew not to take them lightly.
I did the only thing I could think of; I grabbed her hand and placed it on my chest.
“Jamila… make your heartbeat like mine…” my own heart was racing but it was much calmer than hers, “Don’t think about anything! Just… relax. We’re… I’m right here with you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Just… feel my heartbeat…” I tried. I had the slightest idea on how to make her calm down; that was something that Big Green or Supes knew how to do! If she was about to jump off a building, I could talk her out of that! But, this? I was clueless. I winged it; the only thing I knew for sure was to get her to calm down.
Tears sprouted out as she tried to breathe, still gasping. But she clung onto me for dear life. Watching her suffer hurt me so much; I made her rest her head against my chest only so she wouldn’t see me shed a tear… if I let one fall. I tried my damnedest not to; I was the one trying to comfort her so I was the one who needed to be strong.
I took deep breaths to calm myself down and was glad that she was trying to mimic me. I looked over to see if J’onn and Tabby had left. They were both still at the door, J’onn comforting his girlfriend as she sobbed quietly in his arms. Wow; I couldn’t believe he was letting me handle this! I held her tighter.
“It’s okay. You’re okay…” I didn’t know what else to say to her.
She didn’t calm down until ten minutes later. We immediately teleported onto Watchtower and she was admitted into the infirmary. I didn’t leave her side; I just… couldn’t. She would just have to be mad at me for not staying away like she ordered.
Jamila shifted a bit and slowly opened her eyes. She looked at me with slight confusion but I gave her a weak smile anyway.
“…Hey.”
“W-Wally…?” I guess she wanted to make sure. Was she expecting J’onn…? Of course, she was. I continued to smile, anyway. The most important thing was that she was going to be okay, “Where… am I…?”
“Watchtower. You had a panic attack.”
“Holy fuck…” she breathed out and shook her head, “I thought… I was dying…”
“Not on my watch!” I smirked. When she gave me a grateful smile, I finally relaxed. I moved to the chair beside her bed. What did I want to say? What did I want to do? Well… I had this urge to tell her everything. I didn’t think that I loved her, not in that way at least! But I cared a lot about her and I wanted a chance with her. I was willing to wait until she was stress free from everything she was dealing with at the moment. I wasn’t going to be selfish and try to put myself more into her life at that moment. Did it irk me that I wasn’t more than a friend? Not as much as the thought that J’onn was being selfish! But, it was something that I was willing to live with for that moment.
So, as much as I wanted to hold her hand, I decided against it. I had no idea how she would’ve took it.
“I… I know that I told you to leave. But…”
“I know. You were pissed. You had every right to kick us out.” I semi lied. I was a bit hurt that she kicked me out. The only thing I’d ever done was be her friend. But I understood eventually. There were times when I was so angry, I wanted nothing to do with anyone. It gave me time to calm down; expressing myself when I was pissed only led to hurt feelings.
Jamila gave me a look before she turned away, looking out of the glass window. Did I say something wrong…? Or, was she just embarrassed about how she reacted? I opened my mouth to say something until I looked at what she was trying to put her focus on. There was Tabitha and J’onn outside the window. Tabby tried to give her a friendly wave as J’onn clearly had concern in his eyes. Jamila looked straight ahead, her lips formed a tight line as it looked like she was fighting anger. I glanced back out to the hallway and there was no denying that Tabby’s eyes watered.
“… How long do I gotta stay here…?” Jamila half whispered.
“They won’t release you until your blood pressure is back normal. It’s getting there. Look… I know that you’re still upset at…” I was glad that I looked back up; Clark approached the two rigidly, his eyes more on Tabby. I was no lip reader but I was pretty sure that he asked why she was aboard and was reminding her that she was suspended. My eyes widened at what started to happen next. Tabby cowered slightly behind J’onn and she opened her mouth but J’onn stiffened and glared at Clark. Shit, “I need to handle something. Just… don’t look out there. I’ll be right back…” I rushed and left the room before she could respond. J’onn took a step towards Clark. I immediately stepped in between the two.
“Tabby was just concerned about her best friend! She was having a panic attack and we brought her here.” I quickly explained, looking more at Clark. His look softened as he finally looked to see who was in the room.
“You told her…”
“Her husband told her.” I corrected, “And from the way she reacted from his message, I think he’s forbidding her to see the children… ever.”
“… What? And here I was thinking the worst he could do would be to launch a campaign against us. Tabitha clearly did this under her own free will…” Clark gave us a look.
“Apparently, he took this way too personal!” I said. Which was exactly how I felt. Why would Jamila have any of us attack him like that? The very idea was just… dumb! Clark sighed but looked at J’onn and Tabby.
“I know that she is your best friend, Tabitha. But rules are rules. You are not allowed aboard until further notice.” he had a much softer look than when he stormed towards the two. J’onn however, kept his glare.
“Understandable. But you will not treat her… or anyone else like a mere child!” he nearly barked. Not that I doubted he loved her but boy did it show at the moment! It dawned on me that maybe J’onn… loved both of them the same. Man… his life was more complicated than I thought!
Clark could only nod as the two left. I let out the sigh I was holding in and looked back at Jamila. What was she thinking about at that moment? And… what could I do to make things better?
“Was it bad? Her panic attack…”
“It was… awful.” I finally admitted, closing my eyes. It definitely was something I didn’t want to remember but it couldn’t be helped. The desperation in her eyes, her heart thumping like mad in her chest… I fought tears yet again, “I didn’t know what to do, really. It was just that I had to do… something.” I tried to explain. He stood beside me and studied her; we stayed silent for a moment.
“You love her…” he suddenly stated. It was enough for me to quickly look at him. Clark just glanced at me with a smirk, “I see through your ‘playboy’ act, Wally! I don’t know whose is worse, yours or Bruce’s! Of all people, you’re the only one here… watching over her.” his truth made my cheeks warm. I put my attention back to Jamila.
“… I… I don’t know what…”
“Wally, you’re blushing; you may not love her… but you’re definitely in love with her! Does she know?”
“N-No. And… I don’t want her to know just yet!”
“Whatever she’s going through… that may be a wise decision.” he wouldn’t wipe that stupid smirk off his face! How was it that he was giving me advice on this situation?! Maybe… it was that obvious…

-_-_-_-
A panic attack. A fucking panic attack! I hadn’t had one since I was a teenager! I was so embarrassed that someone had to see me go through one. Then again; had I not summoned for help… there was no telling what would’ve happened. Thinking about what Wally had done for me, I knew that I would be eternally grateful.
Although it was a bit… weird to say the least. Especially when I noticed that Tabs and J’onn were standing right outside. I did what he asked me, particularly because I had nothing to say to her so I didn’t want to look at her. I sat there and wished that I had some sort of super hearing; I could definitely feel the tension even from there!
That wasn’t the weird part. It was when Wally came back. I was glad that he didn’t mention anything about what went down; I didn’t want to know. But he just sat there and looked at me. Before I could ask what was wrong… he broke down and hugged me. And I’m talking about full tears! Wally apologized repeatedly as well as stated that it was the scariest thing he witnessed. Him being a founding Justice League member… and me going through what the medics called a severe panic attack was the scariest thing he’d seen?! I honestly didn’t know how to take that. He said that I scared him; he had never seen a panic attack in person. He told me that the one thing that went through his mind was… he didn’t want to lose his friend; for a brief moment, he also thought that I would die.
It was really confusing. Here was this guy, who was always joking and smiling, as though he could never take anything seriously… and he was crying. He was showing more emotion than I was ready to see. Was it possible that… Wally West cared for me more than what he led on? It was highly unlikely… wasn’t it? He had to be the world’s biggest flirt and to top it off, he was rather cute: he could never be serious about just one woman! Maybe… he simply had a bigger heart than we all thought. Yeah; that had to be it! It was the only thing that made the most sense. I remembered that J’onn mentioned it before; Wally was the heart of the League. Anyone he became close with was his good friend and he would do anything for them. I hugged him tight until he calmed down, letting him know that everything would be alright.
I was released two days later, thank the gods! But not before being pestered to make a follow up with my doctor. I guess the only good thing about it was that the medics gave me a small supply of Xanax. I never knew that they would even carry something like that; all of those superheroes up there… who would need meds?!
I was surprised to see someone on my porch as I approached the house. I stopped dead in my tracks when her white hair fell around her face when she looked up at me. I hadn’t seen Tabs since I was admitted on Watchtower and I didn’t know if it gave me relief or saddened me. But there she was, looking as though she had spent that entire time on my porch! Did she think that would make things better between the two of us? If I didn’t want to even look her way aboard Watchtower, what made her think that I would want to do so from my front yard?!
Maybe I was being a bit too hard on her. She wasn’t fully rehabilitated; as long as she had that mutant DNA strand, she never would be. It shouldn’t had surprised me that she let the rage consume her once more. It was a reminder that my friends weren’t the norm. Anyone else would’ve simply comforted me, possibly joined me in drinking. They would’ve called and cussed Albert out, calling him everything in the book! But this friend? Not that I condoned what she done but I understood that… it was something she couldn’t help.
I was still mad at her, of course; her little act cost me my children. I knew Albert; the most stubborn man on the face of this earth! So, when he said that I would never see them again, he meant it. The very thought of it still made me not want to look at her.
“What are you doing here?”
“… G-Guard duty…” her voice wavered. She had been with the League for so long, I almost forgot that she was former military! I looked at her… and she looked terrible! Her eyes were bloodshot yet she still produced tears. This was eating at me and I didn’t want it to! She truly cared for me and was actually hurt that I didn’t want to speak to her, let alone forgive her. And if that wasn’t enough, I was still fucking her boyfriend! Shit… thank you, guilt for coming to this party…
“You don’t have to do that. Go home, Tabitha…”
“I… I can’t. I got nowhere else to go!” she started to sob. What…? Had she been out here for so long, she had gone delusional?
“What are you…”
“They suspended me. Indefinitely. I… I ain’t got a home to go to! I-I-I mean… I could go to my folks. But… I’d have to tell ‘em what I did…” she looked away. Whoa; Wally had kept his word and told me absolutely shit!
“You… they suspended you…?!” I widened my eyes and immediately sat down beside her.
“I… attacked a harmless civilian. It don’t matter if I blacked out or not; I threatened him. And that’s against our… their rules…” her wiping at her tears was useless; they continued to flow to her cheeks. And it was useless for me to voice my opinion on the matter; if it was against the rules then it was only right for them to enforce punishment. No one was in the wrong there, “There’s gonna be a trial. I mean, they’re gonna vote on it. Just to make it fair. But Clark’s right; everyone else’s opinion is gonna be biased.” she finished.
“Can I… be there…?” my question made her jerk her head in my direction.
“W-Why you wanna do that…?”
“Look; I’m still highly pissed at you but…” the guilt of getting sexual satisfaction from your boyfriend made me ask, “You’re still my best friend. And… you made a mistake. So, I want to be there to support you.” I told her. Tabs could do nothing but look at me, her lips quivered as she tried to speak.
“J-Jamila…”
“This don’t mean you’re forgiven. That’ll… take some time. I just wanna… be there for you, regardless. You’d do the same…” I admitted, looking away. I stopped myself from telling her the entire truth. She didn’t need that weighing on her heart as well. Plus, I was being a total chicken shit!
I heard her sniffle and then she let out a chocked up sob. Before I could comfort her, she had thrown her arms around my neck.
“I’m so sorry, doc! I… I wasn’t thinking! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” she couldn’t finish her sentence as she cried hard. I thought my kids were the only ones able to put a strain on my heart like that! Not that I doubted her but Tabs was truly sorry. I eventually wrapped my arms around her. What was I supposed to say? That everything would be okay? Because that was a lie. It wasn’t okay; I wasn’t going to see my children ever again! I was going to have to fight with everything that I had in order to do so. Which was what I intended to do, regardless of if he was right about me being around the Justice League. They were my kids, too!
“Stop it. What’s done… is done…”
“A-A-A-And then, I give you a heart attack…”
“It was a panic attack…” I closed my eyes, tying not to think about it, “I’ll be fine. Come on…” she was no lightweight; I had a time trying to pull her up! She gave me a look.
“W-What…?”
“… You need somewhere to stay, right? I don’t care how mad I am at you; I just can’t let you be out in the streets!” I unlocked my door. Tabs just stared at me.
“D-Doc… thank you…”
It was good to be back in the comfort of my own home, even if it only was two days since I was last there! It didn’t matter if I was having an affair with J’onn; it felt wrong for me not to offer for her to stay with me once more! As I tried to busy myself in the kitchen, I realized that with the decision I just made… I unknowingly made a decision on another.
Tabitha was still in the shower as I started cooking; we both needed a hot meal, I figured! There was a light knock on the door before whoever it was let themselves in. I half expected it to be Wally but my cheeks flushed as I looked at J’onn appearing in the kitchen. He gave me a weary but relieved look as he embraced me.
“You had me so worried…” I warmed up more as his lips brushed against my forehead. I always anticipated something from him so I was surprised when he pulled away from me slightly, “Tabitha is here…” he wasn’t surprised or shocked; it was more like some sort of reassurance. I nodded.
“She has nowhere else to go. She’s… my best friend. I’m gonna be there for her… no matter what.” I gave him a look. His eyes searched mine even though he didn’t need to; all he had to do was go through my mind to find the answer.
His mouth opened but quickly closed as he released me. He was going to talk me out of this, again. He was going to convince me that we should only take a break instead of calling the whole thing off. But this had gone on far too long; it was high time that I did the right thing! So, I was going to counter his argument with everything I had!
“I… understand…”
“J’onn, we can’t do this no… wait… what…?” I blinked. The Martian gave me a small smile as he planted another kiss on my forehead.
“I understand. If this is what you truly wish… then we have no other choice. This does not mean that I will stop coming by, however.”
“Of course not.” I gave him a small smile. Well… this was going better than I expected! I remembered the last time I tried to express my opinion on our situation; okay… I was thinking in between my legs… and listening to that subconscious of mine! Either way, it didn’t end the way I wanted it to!
I had to admit that this disappointed me! There was no counterargument, no strain of the heart. It was as though we had an accidental kiss and vowed to never do it or speak of it again! I didn’t know how I felt about it. We had just ended everything… just like that. I didn’t feel like crying this time around… then again, I didn’t want to celebrate, either! I was neutral in all of this. I mean, I didn’t know how much Xanax was still in my system; that could’ve played a part in all of it!
Although everything seemed fine between the two of us, my heart felt like it was jump started as he gently grabbed my chin. I stared into his eyes, wondering what was about to happen. Because it felt as though we stood there, looking into each other’s eyes for the longest. Was it something that he wanted to say? Did he want me to say something? Was he going to give me one last kiss? My mind reeled at the possibilities!
J’onn suddenly released my chin and gave out a small sigh.
“I am happy that you are better…”
“J’onn…?” Tabs’ voice came from the bottom of the stairs. Ah… he felt her coming down; that was the reason he stopped himself. I went back to cooking as she embraced him. I had to; I glanced their way just in time to see her give him a loving kiss… and this time around, there was no jealously in my heart. In fact, I smiled at the scene. She needed him; she loved him. Who was I to interfere with that?
“I was so worried about you.” he glanced my way with a relieved smile, “Both of you. I am thankful for you letting Tabitha stay for a while.”
“It’s fine. So… didn’t expect you to be here.” once again, my door opened and closed, “I can fix some more food…”
“Food? Yes!” Wally came into the kitchen. I could do nothing but laugh until he immediately wrapped me up in a hug! My entire body flushed, especially when Tabs’ eyes lit up at the sight, “I didn’t know they were releasing you today. I would’ve been there…” he held me tighter. I sighed as I tried to wiggle out of his grasp.
“Okay, let’s lay down some ground rules! None of you treat me like I’m fragile! I’m… okay. I just want you guys to act normal around me, alright? None of this extra mushy shit!” I particularly eyed Wally. He gave me a sheepish grin and… blushed…?! When did Wally West ever blush?
“Yeah. Normal. I can do that! Sorry. So… you don’t mind feeding me…?”
“When have I ever not fed you? I’m a start making you pay for groceries!”
“I thought I did that already?” Wally looked at my casserole dish, “Smothered chicken. I love your smothered chicken! Hey, doc; one day, you’ll have to let me treat you to sushi…”
“I don’t care for sushi. But… I could make it one day…” I went to my freezer for more chicken. I wondered what made him bring that up. Maybe that was his way of acting normal.
“… You… know how to make sushi…?” I could hear the surprise in his voice. I shrugged as I started to thaw out the chicken.
“It’s not all that hard. But, yeah. Hardest part is gonna be getting all the ingredients. I might have to go downtown…” I actually started to make a mental list. I hadn’t made sushi in a while; I would have to invite Ramil and Ashley when I decided to do it. Philly rolls and spicy tuna rolls were easy to make; I knew that they favored those particular two.
“Is there anything you can’t do?! You’re a professor, a chef… any other jobs you can do? I’m beginning to think that you’re a super human as well!” Wally said. I laughed.
“I held plenty of different jobs before deciding on education and science! I delivered pizza, was a server several times, a stripper, a janitor…”
“Wait, wait, wait; how you gonna sneak that one in and keep going?!” Tabs looked at me with widened eyes. The men looked at me in the same manner, especially Wally!
“What… a janitor?”
“You were a stripper…?” Wally quietly asked. I shrugged and went to my pantry.
“I was going through some things. And I needed quick money. I used to hang out with a bunch of ‘em so they talked me into it…” I tried to explain. I heard Tabby gasp a bit; was it that hard to believe that I used to strip?! I turned to them only to see Wally holding up a dollar bill. I could do nothing but purse my lips at him, “Obviously, I’ve long since hung up my stripper boots! And you wouldn’t get nothing for a dollar, even back then!” I tried not to laugh. Dejected, he put the bill away… only to pull out a hundred dollar bill!
“Will this do…?” he asked innocently.
“Oh… my God; Wally!!!” Tabby finally erupted into laughter.
“What?! She said a dollar wasn’t enough! I’m trying for fully naked, here!” there it was; the normal, flirtatious Flash! And poor J’onn; he was still speechless about the whole thing! He cleared his throat and looked at Wally.
“Don’t you think that was a bit inappropriate?”
“She said to act normal; I can’t help I want to see her naked! Those are my normal thoughts…”
“Wait, what?!” I gawked at him.
“Huh, what? Nothing…” he rushed however, I couldn’t miss the small, devilish look he gave me before going into the living room. Yep… back to normal!
My regular physician told me to take one day at a time, not rushing back into my normal schedule. Which sucked but I at least had some vacation time saved up. So I found myself bored to death at home! I wasn’t used to having nothing to do throughout the week; even between semesters, I had something to do! Now without the sexual company of a Martian, I had to find other things to occupy my time!
It was hard. It made me realize that I had no true hobbies. I used to make fake IDs but that was a side job. Tabs would electrocute me if I went back to it; I also promised that I would never go back to it. So for some crazy reason, I took up cooking. Well, baking, really. It guaranteed me hitting the gym on a more regular basis so… I guess those were my two new hobbies!
Two weeks into my vacation, I was glad that I was panic attack free. Even when I received a summons for court and realized that I needed to get a lawyer. I needed to fight this, to fight for my children. It wasn’t fair that he would keep them away from me for what Tabs did.
Aside from that, something else bothered me. Something was missing. It was… J’onn. Of course, he was around as usual. But this time, it was more for Tabitha than for me. I couldn’t believe that we were both keeping our word. Whenever we looked at one another, there was no sexual tension or even desire. Maybe a little from me but I no longer saw those red bedroom eyes. Those were now clearly reserved for Tabs. Did it make me a bit jealous? I had no idea. I didn’t know how to take it. All I knew was that I started to miss our illicit time together, even if it was a little bit.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how lonely I truly was. I knew that the last thing I needed was some sort of relationship now. I needed to settle things with the soon to be ex at the very least. So why were my thoughts more and more about the Martian? Why at night, I doubted the decision of breaking things off with him? It was the right thing to do, especially since Tabs was my roommate yet again. It was the right thing to do… period.
It was a good thing that she wasn’t a mind reader! Because this particular night, the thought of having him ran wild in my mind. It was the real reason why I decided to call it a night, leaving Tabs and Wally downstairs. I laid in the dark, reminiscing about how intimate we would get. I was pitiful, I knew this. It couldn’t be helped, though! I missed the way he would simply touch me. I ran my fingers lightly to my stomach, thinking about his fascination with human skin. I wondered if he showed the same amusement when touching Tabs. If his touch electrified her just as badly as it did me. My cheeks ached as my fingers found my clit. Huh… I was already wet! Guess it helped that I thought about J’onn nearly all day!
I spread my legs as I ran a finger over my already swollen button; this wasn’t going to take long! I bit my lip as I pinched it, thinking how he would do the same and it would send me in a frenzy! I didn’t have the same effect on myself and I wanted to pout! What I wouldn’t give to have him do this to me instead. He was so skilled in making me feel good, making me hunger for more. I closed my eyes and let my fingers spread my wetness. I would have to be satisfied with imagining him, now. How he would moan against my neck as his fingers explored me. How I melted when he kissed me. I bit my lip as I remembered that tantalizing feeling that lingered whenever we kissed. I let out a light moan as my fingers rubbed in a steady, circular motion and my imagination went into overdrive. I could imagine his lips trailing from my neck down to my collarbone. I writhed in pure pleasure; gods, I really did miss him!
I moved my fingers away from my clit and just enjoyed the warmth that spread throughout my body, placing them above my head. I wanted him there so badly I could feel his fingers grazing across a hard nipple as more kisses were placed gently on my breastbone. My breath came in small pants as I went back to my clit. I slowly inserted a finger inside and arched my back.
The problem with that, I finally realized… was that my hands were still above my head. I opened my eyes with a start and found that I was still alone in my bed. But… I could feel the kisses on my body, the one hand that cupped my breast and the finger inside of me that I now started to clench against. Was my imagination that great?! I tried to move my hands but I couldn’t; they were pressed firmly into the pillow. N-No. It couldn’t be. He wouldn’t…
“I can’t stay away from you…” it came out as hushed, more like a ghost whisper. Holy… shit, “Please… let me have you once again…”
… The begging Martian was back. And it was so unfair; he knew that I couldn’t resist the begging Martian! We can’t resist the Martian, period! Great… he awakened that subconscious of mine! So long as he lives, you will never tell him no! He’s ours! No matter who he’s with; he can be with your fucking mother! If he wants us, then we will gladly spread our fucking legs for him, no questions asked! Why? Because when it comes to him, we have no will power. He makes us feel good; why in the hell would we deny pleasure from him?! We love him… and that’s the way it will be…
… She was right… and she really needed a name! Venus; that was the bitch’s name! Venus was blunt… but she was absolutely right. I was weak for him. It didn’t matter that loving him was wrong; whatever J’onn wanted from me… he was going to get. I hoped that it wasn’t truly his doing; that he used one of his mind control powers on me to make me feel that way! Either way, I truly couldn’t stay away from him as much as he could stay away from me. It wasn’t as if I would get the attention from anyone else. So that was that: for as long as he lived… I would secretly be his.
I let out a soft moan as I relaxed my body and let him have me. He moaned out his satisfaction as I felt his finger slip deeper inside me. His lips finally found mine and I trembled with delight. He broke the kiss just as the tingling sensation started. Before I could protest, he replaced his finger with that marvelous tongue of his, slowly extending it. I knew what was coming next and braced myself for it; he moaned. I bit my lip so hard, it started to hurt as I suppressed my own moans! As he slowly pushed his tongue in and out, my body stuttered as I released a small orgasm. Venus twirled around and around in a field of daisies before plopping down into a cloud, a deep sigh of satisfaction escaping her mouth.
I pouted as he retracted his tongue but then I felt his weight on me. My legs were spread further as he slowly pushed at my entrance. I couldn’t take it any longer; I forced my hips up, causing him to let out a gasp as he entered me. J’onn slammed into me and I wanted to grab the sheets! But, he still had a hold of my wrists; the only thing I could do was make fists as I clenched down on his hardness.
Usually, I wouldn’t move fully until he got into rhythm. But I wanted him so badly and reveled in the fact that he had already filled me, I gyrated my hips immediately. It was killing me but it thrilled me. I wanted to look into his eyes but… he wasn’t there. I felt him, I felt everything: his cock already pulsating inside of me with every thrust, his hand wrapped around my wrists, his body against my quivering one. Even his breath against my ear lobe. He was there… and I couldn’t touch or see him. That, along with his hard and steady thrusts helped me get very near to what felt would be an explosive orgasm. He probably relished in the fact that it turned me on too much the fact that I couldn’t touch him!
“Don’t hold back. Release for me. Release… with me…”
Venus squealed, I obeyed. He throbbed furiously as he switched to long thrusts while I clenched harder and arched my back and hips to receive all of him. I matched his movements until my core shook, no longer able to withstand him constantly hitting my spot. I whispered his name repeatedly until that soothing wave of pleasure erupted into a thunderous explosion. I couldn’t finish the sentence; I yelped instead as my body went into full convulsions. I felt his hand cover my mouth where I continued to moan. Not even a second later, whispered grunts filled my ears. An intense cooling sensation flowed through me as my body jerked through the remnants of my powerful orgasm.
When I finally calmed, I felt him remove both hands from my wrists and mouth. Venus was in a fetal position, sucking her thumb and I’ll be damned if I didn’t want to do the same! It had been far too long since the last time we were able to enjoy one another… I didn’t want it to happen again. It didn’t matter if his girlfriend was just downstairs or possibly in the room next to mine (probably fast asleep after he gave it to her as well). J’onn J’onzz was mine as well. And… it was high time that he knew it.
“J’onn…” I whispered. To be honest, it was the only level my voice had now!
“Yes?” it wasn’t a ghost whisper this time around; just a normal one.
“…… I love you…” my heart pounded as it flowed out. I didn’t know what to expect. Whether I wanted him to say it back didn’t dawn on me until it came out of my mouth. When J’onn appeared before my eyes, I wanted to cry. It didn’t help that Venus slightly quivered. Wait a minute, heifer; this was your fault that I confessed! No. I said to let him fuck you. That was it! Shit; we’re gonna end up lonely again. Fuck my life…
It was too late to take it back. He should’ve already known this… right? Because he was always in my head! Why was he shocked beyond speech? Why did he look at me as if I was the Martian?! It’s because we’re just easy human pussy to him. Nothing more… and nothing less. Oh, would you shut the fuck up?! But as I stared at J’onn and waited for some response, I realized that she was right. Shit; what had I done?
Without any type of warning, my tears came out. What made me think that he would say it back? I felt like a fucking idiot; now the only thing I wanted him to do was leave. I turned my head and continued to cry.
“… Why are you crying…?”
“… Because… I’m so fucking stupid! I’m sorry, J’onn… I didn’t mean…”
“No. You did.” he gently pulled my chin so I looked at him, “You did mean it. And you’re not stupid. Nowhere near it…” our noses touched as he wiped away my tears.
“W-Why didn’t you… say something? Anything…?”
“Because… it was something that I feared would happen. I hoped that you would never feel that way because it would further complicate things.”
“What…? I don’t…”
“I love Tabitha.” there it was. Venus folded her arms and huffed while I continued to cry, “But… I love you as well…” my heart stopped. I couldn’t feel it. That muthafucker left my chest and went somewhere else, “This is why it is extremely hard for me to let you go. Especially now when you feel the same. Had you not, while it would break my heart, it would be something that I, alone would have to deal with. But, now? I cannot bear to have anyone else heartbroken. This is why I say things are now more complicated. Although to be fair… I brought this on us.”
“You… you can’t take the blame for all this. Because…” I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t know what else to tell him. He already knew everything, now.
J’onn continued to wipe my tears away.
“Please… stop crying. I love you, Jamila…” never in my life had those words made me feel so warm like they did now. This had to be the most twisted and fucked up thing ever because I was actually happy to hear those words. We would deal with the consequences when they came; right now, all I wanted to do was kiss my Martian. Venus rocked happily with her knees into her chest.
Hey. Not to ruin this moment or anything like that. But… do you realize that he came inside of you? Like, deep inside…?
………… Shit…
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Forbidden Desire