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September - an EGS fanfiction	By : CarcinoGeneticist Category: Web Comics > El Goonish Shive Views: 3398 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own El Goonish Shive or any of the characters within, and I make no money from these writings.

Chapter List
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September - an EGS Fanfiction

Chapter One: Guy Talk

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“Okay, okay, how about this one. Elliot, or Nanase?”
“W-what?!”
“Pfft-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, oh jesus, Ellen…!”
“For the love of god, sis, I’m sitting right here!”
Ellen Dunkel seemed to blatantly not care, high-fiving the hysterical blonde next to her as they mutually watched the two boys squirm. “C’mon, Tedd, it’s your turn, you gotta answer!”
“N-no! It….it’s a stupid question…!” Tedd Verres sputtered, hiding behind his massive glasses and not daring to glance at his best friend, even to plead for help.
“Come on, don’t be a wuss! Everyone else has answered one!”
“No one else had to answer one about people they actually know…!”
“Actually I would’ve preferred that,” Sarah Brown cut in, struggling to curtail her giggles. “I had to choose between a freaking duck and a hedgehog, remember?”
“And that was your question, ya perv,” Ellen added. “Payback’s a bitch, baby.”
“Petty revenge, sis? Really?”
“Oh shut up, Elliot, it’s just for fun. And quit giving me that ‘Dad’ stare, jeez.”
Elliot Dunkel rolled his eyes at that, managing not to blush. His sister had no shame sometimes, he remembered with a sigh. “Come on, give him a different question, you’re making him uncomfortable.”
“No way, no wussing out! Everyone else had to answer one, now it’s Tedd’s turn.”
Tedd looked beet red already, shrinking down in his seat in a corner of the Dunkels’ living room. Elliot wanted to help him, he really did, but Ellen just wasn’t going to shut up until she got an answer. She was stubborn like that. So was he, really, but at least he knew a little something about tact.
“W-why would you even w-want to know, anyway…?!” Tedd stuttered. “I-It’s your brother and your girlfriend…!”
“Big deal, it’s not like anyone’s actually doing anything with anyone. Now quit dodging the question. Who would you rather sleep with, Elliot or Nanase?”
“…Nnhhh…Sarah, come on, stop her…!” Tedd pleaded. “I’m sorry I gave you a bad question!”
But not even Sarah was stepping up to his defense. She was laughing too much to even really hear him, it sounded like. He was trapped.
“Come on, pick!” Ellen pressed with a snicker, enjoying every moment of watching Tedd squirm.
He really did look uncomfortable, Elliot noticed as he glanced back at his best friend. He fidgeted often, he adjusted his glasses every few seconds, and his cheeks were so bright he looked like he had a fever. He talked big sometimes, but when he was pressed, it became obvious that a lot of that perverted outer shell was a front. Elliot knew that better than anyone. He shook his head and stood up; this had gone far enough.
“Ellen, lay off him, alright? I mean it,” Elliot cut in, putting himself between his sister and his best friend.
“Aw, stop being a spoilsport, Elliot, it’s all in fun!” Ellen countered, not looking very intimidated at all.
Elliot stood his ground anyway. “He doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to.”
“Oh, save the knight in shining armor routine for Sarah,” Ellen fired back. “Don’t emasculate Tedd with it too.”
Elliot narrowed his eyes at his sister, not noticing Sarah’s almost immediate blush…or Tedd’s sudden tensing up. “Look, this isn’t a debate, okay? I said lay off.”
Ellen frowned back at him, starting to look annoyed herself. “Ugh, what’s the big deal? Jeez, I’m just messing with him, you don’t need to go all bully hunter on me! He’s not some sensitive little flower you gotta watch over!”
Sarah had stopped laughing by now, guessing where this was going. “Hey, guys, cut it out, let’s not fight over this--”
“Who’s fighting?” Ellen interrupted. “Elliot’s the one being all overprotective an’ shit.”
“I am not--!”
“Ugh, Elliot, okay?!” Tedd suddenly shouted over them. “I pick Elliot! Jesus…”
Elliot flushed at the words, looking back at Tedd in surprise. “Tedd, you don’t have to--”
“It’s fine. Ellen’s right, I don’t need you to stand guard over me…”
“Hah! See?” Ellen grinned and poked a finger in Elliot’s face. “I’m right, you’re wrong, I win.”
“You are so immature sometimes,” Elliot countered with another eyeroll.
“Pfft, go sit down, sore loser.” A second later Ellen’s grin refocused on Tedd. “Sooo. Elliot, huh? Iiiiiiiinteresting…”
Tedd was still horribly red, but he managed to defend himself this time. “Well, I don’t really relate to Nanase that much anyway, and maybe getting my cousin pregnant would be the last thing I wanna do, so…”
“So you’d prefer to go gay,” Ellen snickered. “Awesome. So who’s on top?”
Immediately Sarah was laughing again. “Oh my god, Ellen, you are so gross…!”
Ellen smiled with feigned innocence as both boys reddened even further. “Whaaaaat? It’s an honest question!”
“Come on, Ellen, he answered the first one already, you don’t get another one,” Elliot managed.
“Aww, lame, we were just getting somewhere interesting…!”
“Ah, forget it, Ellen,” Sarah diverted her, “we still need to go birthday present shopping for Nanase, anyway.”
Elliot raised an eyebrow in slight surprise. “You guys haven’t gotten presents for Nanase yet? Her birthday’s in two days.”
Sarah rolled her eyes and jerked a thumb at Ellen. “I have. She hasn’t.”
Ellen responded with a slight shove, slight discomfort showing in her expression for the first time that day. “Shut up, it’s hard to birthday shop for a girlfriend! Especially Nanase, her mom still thinks I’m a ‘phase’ she’s going through, I can’t give her anything as good as I’d like to.”
“Oh that’s an easy one!” Sarah brightened. “Just get her something smaller and non-threatening for the ‘family’ gathering, and then when you’ve got a private moment later you give her the real present.”
“Ooohh, that’s not a bad idea, actually…”
“There, see? Come on, I’ll help you find something perfect for both.”
“Better listen to her, sis,” Elliot said with a smile, ruffling her hair. “Sarah’s a genius at this kind of thing.”
“Darn right I am,” Sarah giggled.
Elliot turned his gentle smile on Sarah and pulled her into a warm embrace. “Have fun, you two.”
“We will,” Sarah answered, tilting her head up to catch Elliot’s lips with her own. To his pleasant surprise she held it that little extra bit longer, kept her dainty hands on his cheeks for those few added moments, gave that tiny but impossible to miss quiver of her lower lip, and finally breathed “see you tonight…” in his ear.
Elliot was already jelly-legged. He knew what those cues meant.
A second later the embrace was over and she was waving goodbye as she led Ellen out to her car, and it was all Elliot could manage for a moment to just wave back wearing a goofy smile. There was something about that woman lately that was irresistibly intoxicating, ever since…
“Yeesh…glad that’s over,” Tedd muttered. “I swear, man, sometimes I think Ellen enjoys screwing around with me. And Sarah was no help at all.”
“Uh-huh…” came Elliot’s distant reply. “Isn’t she great…?”
“…Excuse me?”
“……”
“…Elliot?”
“……”
“…Elliot!”
“Wha?” Elliot finally snapped out of it. “Sorry, sorry…! I just…uhm…”
“Y’know what, it’s not even important…” Tedd grumbled.
“No, no, I’m listening, I swear.”
“You’re picturing Sarah’s ass.”
Elliot immediately flushed. “Whoa, whoa, hey, don’t talk about her like that…!”
“Well you were staring at it her whole walk out the door!”
“…Was not.”
“Really. Gee, I must’ve been hallucinating, then.” He rolled his eyes, reclining on Elliot’s couch with the remote and switching the TV on. “Puh…shoulda gone with Nanase…”
“Oh, shut up…” Elliot threw back, retreating from the door and plopping down at the opposite end of the couch.
For a long few minutes silence reigned over them. Outwardly they were transfixed by whatever was on the TV at the moment, but in reality Elliot wasn’t paying it any attention, and after a lack of any sort of reaction for several minutes, he was pretty sure Tedd wasn’t actually watching it either. He seemed mostly back to normal, but his cheeks still looked a little red, and he still hid behind his oversized glasses, a habit he’d mostly kicked lately but had made a return in the last few weeks for whatever reason. Of course it wasn’t hard to guess at the reason today, but it was a little surprising he still had them on. Maybe Ellen had gotten to him more than he thought.
Elliot heaved an inward sigh, finally breaking the silence and getting right to the point. “Look, I’m sorry about Ellen. I know she can get kind of crass sometimes.”
“I’ve noticed,” Tedd grumbled.
“…And I’m sorry about jumping in like that, I seriously wasn’t trying to emasculate you or anything, I just--”
“I know,” Tedd stopped him.
“…are you mad?”
Tedd was silent for a few agonizing seconds, but to Elliot’s relief he ultimately shook his head. “Nah. It’s just…what you do, y’know? It’s not a bad thing. I appreciate it, honestly…I’m, y’know…I’m glad you care.”
“Of course I do,” Elliot assured him.
“Yeah…”
Another, less awkward silence held for a few more minutes, both boys staring at the TV for a while, until again Elliot chanced breaking it, his curiosity unable to resist.
“So…why didn’t you?”
“Hm? Why didn’t I what?”
“…y’know. Pick Nanase.”
“…Oh. That.”
“…You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, I just figured…”
“It’s fine…” Tedd muttered, flushing again. “It’s like I said, Nanase’s family, and…I mean, it’s not that I don’t like Nanase, but we don’t really get along, and…I-I dunno, it just made more sense to pick my best friend or whatever.”
“…Yeah?” Elliot started to smile.
“…N-not that I’m saying, like, I actually wanna--”
“O-oh, no, right, of course--!”
“It’s just, y’know--”
“Yeah, yeah--”
“Because we’re, like--”
“Right, for sure.”
“Exactly.”
“Heh…glad we understand each other.”
“Perfectly.”
“…Heh. I feel like we should…I dunno, fist-bump or talk about our hot girlfriends or something,” Elliot chuckled.
“A bro-tastic affirmation of heterosexuality?”
“Ah-heh…yeah, that.”
They shared a laugh at that and fell silent again, a much less awkward one this time as they just gazed vacantly at the TV for a few more minutes, until the silence was once again broken, by Tedd this time.
“…So,” he began, clearing his throat, lifting his glasses off his eyes and up into his hair out of the way. “Speaking of our girlfriends.”
“Mm?”
“…You’re, ah…visiting Sarah tonight?”
Elliot glanced over with a raised eyebrow and a slight blush. “Uhh…?”
“Heh…s-sorry, I, uh…heard that little whisper thing she did.”
“…Oh. That. That’s uh…I mean, yeah. We have plans tonight.”
“Oh, that’s…cool. Cool for you guys.”
“…Yeah, I guess so,” Elliot shrugged evasively. “…Why, uh…why do you ask?”
Tedd blushed a little bit again himself. “Well…just, y’know, ‘cause of the way she said it. The body language and eyes and tone and stuff.”
“……”
“…Plus you guys have been dating for like, a year and a half, now.”
“Y-yeah…?” Elliot’s blush grew brighter. So was Tedd’s, he noticed, but it felt like his own was deepening much faster.
“…So I was just…curious.”
Yeah, Elliot thought, his own blush was way worse. “A-about what?”
“If you two were…y’know…”
“……”
“…having sex.”
“……” Elliot looked just about anywhere but at Tedd and coughed awkwardly. “I…don’t really think that’s anyone’s business but ours, Tedd…”
“Hey, I told you about MY dumb question, it’s only fair.”
“That’s so not the same thing.”
“I’m just curious, that’s all, jeez…”
“Why are you curious about…that?”
“I dunno, you…it’s…” Tedd rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “…Oh, never mind, forget it…”
“…No, forget what?”
“…You’re, like…you’re not just my best friend, you’re my one real, y’know, guy friend. I thought…I dunno, I thought we could talk about that kinda stuff.”
“What, Justin doesn’t count?”
“I can’t talk or relate to Justin about girlfriends stuff.”
“…Well, no, but--” Elliot paused at that. “Wait, what do you mean ‘relate to him?’ Is something going on with you and Grace?”
“……”
“Are you guys having problems or something?”
“…I asked you first.”
“……”
“…So is this something we can talk about or not?”
“……” Elliot hesitated for a long moment, glancing evasively around the room again. “I don’t know, Tedd, that stuff’s private to Sarah, too…”
“Sarah’s a girl, she probably shares every dirty detail with her girlfriends.”
Elliot blushed even brighter at that. “…You really think so? Sarah?”
“Oh yeah. Especially if she’s hanging out with Ellen.”
Elliot had to agree there. Ellen loved to gossip. In fact, considering Nanase was a lesbian, Susan hated gossip, and Grace was naïve at best about most normal social situations, Ellen was probably Sarah’s primary gossip connection when it came to boys and sex. No wonder he’d seen that smirk on Ellen’s face lately every time he came home from Sarah’s…
“…So?
Elliot heaved a slight sigh and gave in. “Okay, okay, yeah. We…started having sex a couple of weeks ago.”
“Heh…I had a feeling,” Tedd admitted with a slight smile.
Elliot couldn’t help blushing. “Oh come on, it’s not that big a deal, is it?”
“No, no, not at all. I mean…that’s cool for you guys, that you’re that…serious about each other.”
“Well yeah, of course, we were together since the end of winter last year, it’s not like we’re…y’know, screwing around or whatever without really caring about each other.”
“I think the term Ellen would use is ‘fuck buddies.’”
“R-right, right, we’re not that,” Elliot swiftly agreed. “It’s…meaningful.”
“Yeah, yeah, for sure, I know you guys wouldn’t be anything less,” Tedd agreed. “…So how’d it happen?”
“…What, you mean the first time?”
“Yeah, that. I mean was it something you talked about and agreed on in advance, or was it more like a ‘spur of the moment, outta nowhere’ thing?”
Elliot screwed up his face in thought for a moment. “Kinda both, I guess, but closer to the second one. We’d talked about it a couple of times, about what we thought of the idea and stuff, but when it actually did happen, it was pretty much spontaneous.”
“Heh, a normal date gone horribly, horribly right?”
“Eh-heh…something like that…”
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September - an EGS fanfiction