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And The Joker Ran Away	By : codysaoyrn Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman Views: 6278 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own or make money from any part of the Batman franchise.

Chapter List
- 1-And The Joker Ran Away
- 1
(Brief note: Originally written and published on LiveJournal in 2006. Intended as both simple pastiche and porn of the original Kane/Finger series.)

Come to Warehouse 13 down at the pier by 9 p.m. tonight and you might, just might, see Batman again. Signed, TWO-FACE & The Joker.
Dick crushed the grimy note in his hand. How had the Joker escaped from Arkham for what must have been the umpteenth time? What on earth could the Joker’s plan be, that he had gotten Harvey Dent—no, Two-Face—to join up with him? Worst of all, how the hell had they managed to kidnap Batman?
The Wayne mansion was eerily quiet, the only sound that of the constant mechanical hum rising through the floors from the Batcave. Alfred was away on a well-deserved vacation; Bruce had urged him to go, secure in the knowledge that the Joker was safely locked away.
‘Well, so much for that,’ Dick thought unhappily. He looked around the ill-lit drawing room, searching for signs of a struggle. He saw none, not even a stray ash from Bruce’s pipe, which was set carefully on the coffee-table. Uneasiness rising in him, he made his way down to the Batcave. The first indication that something was amiss was the light shining up the stairs—the only reason the lights would be on would be because Bruce was down there, unless—he broke into a run, taking the steps three at a time.
Dick burst from the stairwell and paused, half-blinded by the difference in lighting.
“Whoa, now, chum! What’s the rush?”
“B-Bruce?” He gaped, unable to believe what he was seeing. “They said they had kidnapped you!”
Bruce raised an eyebrow, swinging his chair away from the computer monitors he had been observing.
“Who kidnapped me?”
“Um, t-the Joker and Two-Face…” Dick trailed off, stroking his chin. “How long have you been down here?”
“Since I dropped you off at the library this morning. What’s this about the Joker?”
“There was a note upstairs, near the main entrance—”
Bruce’s eyes narrowed. He had been so intent on his surveillance of the city that he had somehow missed Dick letting himself in, not to mention a genuine break-in. He was letting himself slip, but he would worry about this later.
“What did it say?”
Dick summarized it, and Bruce began pacing.
“…It was addressed to you?”
“Uh, I guess, there wasn’t any greeting, and I can’t think of why they would try and target Alfred…”
Bruce thought this over. Abruptly, his brooding expression cleared, making Dick more nervous than before.
“Bruce—”
“When was the last time you had a mission of your own?” Bruce said, looking pointedly at the closet that contained their uniforms. Slowly, Dick’s jitters faded, and a wide grin spread across his face to match Bruce’s own.
“Go get them, Robin!”

-
Robin inched his way across the crumbling rooftop of Warehouse 12, shivering every now and then as a wintry breeze whipped between his bare legs. ‘Batman gets pants, sort of, and what do I get? A Speedo. Ugh.’ Soon, he reached the edge. He quickly measured the distance between buildings with experienced eyes, and took a few steps back. After stretching his legs to make sure they were limber enough, Robin leapt and alighted with an acrobatic roll on the roof of Warehouse 13. Gingerly, he stood up—if Two-Face and the Joker were really in there, they must have heard that—and the cement fell out from beneath him.
Forty feet below, he landed with a thump and a yelp on an oddly soft surface.
“Well, well, well. Look who was so kind as to…drop in!”
Robin winced as the Joker’s laughter reverberated in his already ringing ears. From somewhere to his left, there came a grunt.
“All right, you know what? I’ve been putting up with your stupid so-called jokes all night, waiting here in this frozen shithole. Give it a rest, will you?” Two-Face growled.
As the Joker giggled some more, Robin gave his head one last shake.
“You with us, kid?” Two-Face turned his good side to the boy, smiling. Warily, Robin began to inch away from him, freezing when he realized what he was sprawled on. A giant, lush, bed. What sort of devious plan was this?
“Oh-ho, and the light bulb goes on!” The Joker clapped his hands, stretching his maniacal grin even wider.
“No, it doesn’t. What the hell are you—”
The Joker chuckled, lowering his voice until Robin could barely hear him. “Enough chit-chat, let’s get to the fun part. Harvey!”
With a terse nod, Two-Face sprang onto the bed, pinning down Robin’s ankles with his large hands. Taken by surprise, Robin didn’t start to react until the Joker had already secured his hands, pulling them high over his head. The handcuffs, threaded through the bars of the headboard, snapped shut on Robin’s wrists with a dull clink.
Robin attempted to struggle, eventually making a show of resignation.
“All right, you’ve got me. What’re you going to do, send a ransom note to Batman and wait for him to get here and kick your butts?”
“Is that a touch of derision I detect? We can’t have that, can we, Harvey?”
In response, Two-Face flicked open a switchblade. Robin’s eyes widened, and he began struggling in earnest. Tut-tutting, the Joker jabbed two fingers at a nerve cluster on Robin’s neck, rendering him temporarily paralyzed. In this new condition, all he could do was watch as the shining blade drifted closer and closer to his face—
He blinked as his mask was sliced away.
“If it isn’t Dick Grayson! …As if we didn’t know that already. Honestly, you fellows are so obvious. Is it just that you like to dress up and feel pretty?” The Joker sniggered, irritating Robin with the insufferable smugness in his voice. But Robin was still mostly paralyzed, so he could only growl in answer. His irritation was suddenly replaced with shocked trepidation, however, as a leering Two-Face split his costume neatly in two, leaving only his green gloves, slippers, and panties intact. By the time Two-Face finished, the paralysis had worn off enough for Robin to speak.
“W-What are you doing—”
“Just having a little fun,” the Joker crooned, moving to straddle Robin’s now-bare chest. Robin spat, the spittle landing neatly on the Joker’s left trouser leg.
“Well.” The Joker’s previously jovial expression changed to a glaring smirk. “That wasn’t very nice of you, so let’s plug up that pretty mouth of yours, shall we?”
‘…Ohshit.’
With a flourish, the Joker unzipped his fly. Easing his long penis out, he began to massage it in the direction of Robin’s face.
“Dick…meet dick. Oh man, I seriously crack myself up sometimes!”
Two-Face grumbled. “Shut up, I already told you—aw, fuck, it’s snowing. Let’s hurry this up.”
The Joker eyed the snow sifting through the shattered roof. Deciding that what remained of the ceiling was enough to shield them, he shrugged.
“You heard the man. Gonna get cold in here…and what’s a good way to keep warm?”
Robin jerked his body about, straining to throw off the predatory villain.
“Whoa there, bronco! Easy, we’re not going to break you…much.”
As Robin opened his mouth to snarl a retort, the Joker shoved his dick in.
“Mm-mmmpgh!”
Forcing Robin’s mouth shut with a firm hand, the Joker nodded to Two-Face, who began taking off his clothes. Robin’s eyes widened and he tried to shout, but the muffled vibrations only served to further stimulate the Joker.
“That’s right, baby. Make some noise!”
Robin gagged as the Joker roughly pushed in further, tensing as he saw Two-Face, now completely naked, place a hand on the Joker’s shoulder with a ball-gag gripped in his meaty fingers.
“Oh, that’s perfect! Just let me finish up here, Harvey sweetie.”
Leaning in until he felt Robin’s nose graze his shirt, the Joker began to thrust in and out of Robin’s stretched mouth, delighted in the sensation the smothered screams brought. All too soon, he was coming, his semen leaking through Robin’s swollen lips and mixing with the tears trailing down the boy’s smooth cheeks.
The Joker pulled out, holding Robin’s jaws closed.
“Be a good boy and swallow. Swallow, or I won’t let you go…” Upon feeling Robin’s throat work, the Joker released his grip, satisfied. “That’s a good boy.”
Robin closed his eyes, taking ragged gulps of air. ‘Oh, Bruce…’
“All right, Dickie boy, open up again!”
Before he knew it, Two-Face had deftly fastened the ball-gag onto him. Eyes wide, Robin drew a whistling breath. He allowed himself a hint of relief that they had bothered to use a gag with air-holes. Then he felt the chilly air on his freshly-exposed genitals, and the tears threatened to spill again.
The Joker discarded the torn panties in favor of Robin’s dick, his slender fingers manipulating it to wring a cry from the boy.
His task done, Two-Face nudged the Joker.
“Move, will you?”
Wordlessly, the Joker rose to strip, then reclaimed his seat on Robin’s chest facing the other way, in order to keep playing with the young dick in his hands. Two-Face sat down on the bed facing him and lifted Robin’s hips just so, lowering his face to Robin’s hole.
Robin writhed, over-stimulated. ‘Ohgodhe’slickingme. Bruce hasn’t done that yet—’ At the thought of his surrogate father (and lover; he was still getting used to that part) his half-erect dick hardened all the way, eliciting a despair-tinged moan.
“Well now!” The Joker sat back, pleased. “Starting to enjoy it, are we?”
“N-no,” Robin sobbed through the gag, mentally cursing his traitorous dick and the images of him and Bruce that continued to spring to mind. The Joker chuckled, and Robin was set to continue protesting—despite the gag—when a flash of pain blanked his thoughts.
As the pain lessened, he realized what it had been. Two-Face, shoving two fingers into his hole, was now stretching it brusquely. It was then that the Joker gave one last tug at Robin’s dick, and he blacked out as cum dribbled through the Joker’s fingers.

-
The Joker blinked over his shoulder at the now-unconscious boy’s face.
“…Was that supposed to happen?” Two-Face muttered, forcing in a third finger.
Giving himself a small shake, the Joker grinned brightly at Two-Face, who looked away in discomfort.
“To be frank, no. But this gives me an idea—maybe I can do that thing I’ve been thinking of…”
Two-Face raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, fine, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell anybody else!”
Rolling his eyes, Two-Face leaned in so the Joker could whisper in his ear.
-
Robin awoke to an entirely different set of sensations than before. He seemed to be lying on Bruce’s chest, but it felt different, hairier maybe… Opening his eyes, the memories hit him like a Batarang to the gut. The Joker was hovering over him, the usual grin distinctly lecherous. The ball-gag was gone, which was a small mercy, though his shoulders and wrists were definitely becoming sore—and that’s when the crucial piece of information finally reached his brain.
“Oh…Oh god, oh, oh god no, god,” Robin began to babble, tears flowing freely once more.
“See? I told you removing the gag would be a good idea! Isn’t that positively erotic?” The Joker exclaimed triumphantly, punctuating his words with sharp thrusts.
“No no god no-oh, oh, no, ohh,” Robin moaned tearfully, overwhelmed by the two dicks in him at once. Even Bruce’s biggest dildo had nothing on this, and Two-Face was pulling back when the Joker bucked his hips in then Two-Face would thrust hard as the Joker drew back and they had a steady rhythm and the feeling of the dicks stretching him impossibly wide and sliding back and forth and against each other—
Robin screamed, his vision blurring, as he came in explosive spurts all over his chest. As his hole tried to tighten, Two-Face groaned but didn’t slow his fucking, and neither did the Joker.
He was close to fainting again, but Robin managed to fight it off—who knew what those two villains would do to him next time? He could feel his self-control slipping away, though, as each stab of a dick forced loud moans from his raw throat.
“Ooh, just listen to that, Harvey. How about we make him shoot his wad one more time and call it a night?”
A nod from Two-Face, and the rhythm was increased.
They began pushing in as far as they could fit, and, to his utter shame, Robin found himself squirming to accommodate them, to meet their thrusts with his own.
“That’s it, Dickie boy,” purred the Joker.
“Aahh, oh, nnmore oh god more uh,” Robin grunted, his cheeks burning as his dick sprang erect again. He could feel Two-Face’s chuckling through his back, and it reminded him of Bruce—
“You’re so exquisitely tight, Dickie. But not as tight as I had thought you would be… Are you and Brucie doing the horizontal mambo?”
“That’s horizontal tango,” Two-Face rumbled, strain starting to show in his voice.
“Did I ask you about your personal life? No, I did not.”
Two-Face muttered unintelligibly, shifting his tempo and tearing a near-shriek from Robin.
“So what does Brucie do to you in bed? Nothing like this, I’d guess,” a giggle, “But, hmm, let’s see. Ooh, does he spank you? That’d be so hot.”
Helplessly, Robin began imagining what it would be like if Bruce were to spank him one night. The sharp smack of palm hitting buttock, the sweet pain enhancing the sensitivity of his ass until it was almost unbearable, and then Bruce would gently lavish kisses on—
“Uuahh, ah, oh I’m coming shit I’m going to—”
The most animalistic sound he had ever heard himself make spilled out of his mouth, It went on and on until his cum had splattered everywhere, hitting the Joker’s chest and chin, adding to the previous load on his own chest, and a few drops even landed on his face.
Spent, Robin lay there staring blankly at the ceiling as first the Joker, then Two-Face, clenched their teeth and came without a sound. He stayed at the edge of consciousness long enough to feel, after the space of a few minutes and the sound of clothes rustling, a piece of paper flutter onto his chest and stick to the mess there. Finally, as the Joker pressed lips to his forehead, sweet darkness fell.
-
Some hours later, Batman found him asleep and still handcuffed to the bed, cum leaking out of his dilated hole. Carefully picking the handcuffs open and gathering Dick’s sticky body into his arms, Batman unpeeled the note from his ward’s chest.
Thanks.
-Joker
& TWO-FACE
- 1
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And The Joker Ran Away