Writings of The Heart | By : meathead13 Category: Comics > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 1779 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter Seventeen: Temptation
This is wrong. I must be out of my mind. No. I am out of my mind. I’m insane. I shouldn’t be out here.
Carrie pulled her frozen fingers down into the depths of the sleeves of her hoodie, then used the folded ends to wipe the remaining tears from her face. Her body shook from the cold wind, and she wished she had grabbed a thicker coat on her way out, but decided against going back, citing to herself that she was too far from the house now. Of course the thought of running into Raphael after all the horrible things she had said to him was what was really keeping her from going back, and Carrie instead dealt with the blistering winds, hugging closer to the thick pine truck in front of her. A snap of a fallen branch caused her to jump, and Carrie turned to find her faithful dogs inching closer to where she stood.
“No!” Carrie said in a loud whisper. “Go back to the house! I told you to stay!”
Atreyu immediately sulked, his head lowering behind his shoulder blades while his tail curled up between his legs. But Artex wasn’t so easily spooked, and took another inch of space closer to her owner.
“I said no, dammit!” Carrie picked up a rock and threw it, hoping it would land next to her headstrong canine to deter her from moving again. The rock instead struck Artex just behind her left shoulder, and Carrie almost burst into tears again as the dog yelped and fell back on her hind legs.
“Oh god, Artex honey! I’m so sorry!” Carrie went to comfort the dog, but found Artex was no longer in the mood to seek her owner’s company. The dog growled as Carrie reached out, sliding backwards in the snow before turning completely around and leading her brother away. She tired to call the dogs back, but her apology was lost in the blustery wind. Carrie felt her tears return, which paved the way for her legs to give out, and she slowly sank down to the frozen ground, allowing the surrounding void of loneliness to swallow her whole.
As Carrie cried into her icy hands, her scarred subconscious began to toy with her. The wind suddenly screamed with the voice of her father, berating and belittling her, filling Carrie’s mind with years of mental abuse that damaged her already frail teenage mind. With a change of direction, the wind was now Mark: full of lies, empty on promises, and feeding on her soul like a ravenous wolf feasting on a carcass. The two men in her life that had really mattered had taken everything that Carrie considered beautiful and turned it all into worthless decay that she knew she could never have again. She was damaged on the inside, and her failure at trying to love again only made the cracks in her heart deeper.
Carrie bent her head into her lap, her hands going over her ears to block out the vile screams in the wind, and the more she thought about the taste of Leonardo’s lips on hers, the cracked pieces of her broken heart fell to the snow covered ground below her.
“They were right,” Carrie sobbed as her fingers entwined in her hair. “I am worthless. I’ve messed up everything in my life like I always have. No wonder Daddy hates me. No wonder Mark cheated on me. I’m not good enough for anyone. I’m not good enough-,”
“Do you really believe all of that?”
Carrie gasped as she jerked her head up, her red eyes and tear-stained face greeting a very serious and stern faced Leonardo. His stance above her was powerful, straight backed, making the blowing wind defenseless against him. In his left hand was one of his katana, glowing brightly in the light of the rising sun, and Carrie could see his fingers flex around the handle. She then could see his brood shoulders and chest heaving, like he was trying to regain his breath. It was only after she watched him wipe away the beads of sweat from his forehead that she realized that he had been doing his ninja exercises. In that moment Carrie forgot everything, acknowledged the thought on how sexy she found him in his post exercise state, and then winced on how sick she really was.
Leonardo continued to stare at her, and Carrie couldn’t remember what he had asked, so she said the first thing that came to her mind.
“I didn’t tell him.”
His strong poise disappeared as Leonardo cocked an eye ridge and tried to fight that grin that wanted to come out and humor Carrie’s shaky voice.
“I... didn’t ask you that. I asked you if you believed everything you just said about yourself.”
Before Carrie could respond again, Leonardo sank down to one knee, the sword quickly vanishing into its sheath, and his hand reached out to touch Carrie’s flushed cheek. Carrie turned away, her sad eyes dropping to the snow, knowing the look of hurt that would be on Leonardo’s face. She wanted to feel his touch, she wanted his comfort, but Carrie knew it wasn’t innocent between them anymore. Their friendship was permanently tarnished and it took everything that Carrie had to not get up and run away.
Her frozen fingers picked at the seam of her lounge pants and she sucked in a staggered deep breath, hoping that she was somehow giving Leonardo a signal to leave her alone, but when Carrie felt the overwhelming warmth of his fingers bringing her chin around to look at him, she knew that her subtle hints were done in vain.
“You’re not worthless, Carrie,” Leonardo wiped gently at her cheeks, then tamed the loose strands of her blonde hair before grasping both of her hands into his. “ You are a beautiful woman with a strong creative mind and a huge heart. You are one of the most compassionate and caring people I’ve ever met-,”
“Leo, please,” Carrie could feel her heart swelling, choking the breath out of her as tears welled up and poured out of her eyes.
“Do you think we would even be alive if it wasn’t for you?” Leonardo went on. “You put your fears aside and helped us. You . . . put your life on the line for us.” He then dropped his head and closed his eyes, letting the flow of his thoughts pass through his mouth. “You just don’t know how grateful my family is . . . how grateful I am. Someone who could do everything that you have done is far beyond worthless, Carrie.”
As Leonardo opened his eyes, a few tears soaked in his mask, but he made no effort to stop them. He locked into Carrie’s gaze and couldn’t help the sudden uneasiness at the stunned look in her grey eyes.
“Why-why would you say something like that?” Carrie inhaled sharply, the cold air stabbing at her lungs.
“I just wanted to tell you how I felt,” Leonardo admitted, his face expressionless under the flow of his tears. “Do I need a reason behind it?”
Carrie gasped quietly, not caring that it made Leonardo slightly wince. She then suddenly thought of Raphael, of how she had just only an hour ago tried once again to get him to confess his love for her, but he refused to do so. He had a reason, a reason why he couldn’t do it, a reason that Carrie didn’t want to hear. To her it was nothing more than an excuse, a way for Raphael to get out the way of her overactive emotions. But she had no reason to feel the way she did. It was pure, raw, something that only came around once in a lifetime.
And the more Carrie thought it, the more sickened she felt. She had been deceived, humiliated, and taken advantage of, and her rising anger became more apparent to Leonardo when he felt her fists tighten under his hands.
“Carrie?”
She took in a deep breath, her tears instantly drying up, and Carrie finally felt a smile break through her foggy thoughts as she watched Leonardo’s overly concerned expression grow.
“Thank you.” Carrie’s voice cracked slightly when she spoke, but she quickly covered it up by pulling her hands free from Leonardo’s grasp and wrapping her arms around his neck. Leonardo automatically froze, not sure what to do or what had just taken place behind Carrie’s tormented eyes, but eventually gave into the embrace and held Carrie tightly.
“What happened yesterday, I have to apologize for that-,” Leonardo began, only to have Carrie pull back and shake her head.
“ No. Please don’t.”
“No, I have to.” Leonardo held Carrie back by her upper arms. “ It was wrong of me to take advantage of you like that. I had dreams- I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“None of us did,” Carrie said, remembering how much Raphael had tossed around in her bed, even though it had been her guilty conscience that had kept her up. “But you can’t take all the blame for it. I- well, I didn’t make the situation any better.”
Leonardo had more to say. He had been thinking about his words throughout the night. But just sitting there, with only a mere inch separating the two of them, all Leonardo could do was gaze at Carrie’s torn hair and the flush of pink against the pale skin of her face, the confusion that burned in her eyes, and linger on the feeling of her breath softly hitting his face. He envisioned laying her down, the snow and wind instantly turning to warmth. They kissed again, deeper than before, the need stronger this time, and he heard Carrie whisper into his ear that she would succumb to his desires, that she wanted him to make love to her.
As the vision played on in Leonardo’s head, Carrie began to change. Her hair was black, neatly trimmed at the shoulders. Her body became leaner, taller. Her grey eyes turned to green. And no matter how hard Leonardo tried to hang onto Carrie’s voice, which, too, changed. It was now Karai who clung to him, whispering how much she needed him, how much she loved him.
Forgetting Carrie was still there, Leonardo jumped to his feet and moved away from the tree, his fingertips pushing against his closed eyes. Silently, he threatened his own subconscious mind that he would rip his own eyes from his head if the vision didn’t stop. His heaving breaths of frustration accelerated as he remembered the numerous nights he spent with Karai, only to have them quickly replaced by more cursed memories of his lover’s betrayal. Releasing his fingers, Leonardo again gazed at Carrie, hoping that his imagination would recapture the intimate fantasy he was playing out, but found Karai had made yet another permanent stain on his psyche.
Frustrated and harbored down with a growing angered annoyance, Leonardo let out an almost inaudible growl and whipped around to leave.
“I...I think I should go.”
“Leo. Wait.” Carrie climbed slowly to her feet, her limbs stiff from sitting on the frozen ground. She reached out for Leonardo’s left arm and successfully wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “Where are you going?”
Leonardo replied with a cold, sideways glance over his shoulder, delivering a sting that was worse than the blowing wind. “To finish training. It’s cold. You should go back inside.”
Carrie quickly withdrew her hand, the bones popping as her fingers folded against the rapid pounding in her chest. The harshness of his tone snapped at her already frail emotions, but it couldn’t stop the overwhelming desire to follow Leonardo deeper into the forest.
Within a few feet, Carrie again seized Leonardo, by the elbow this time, and forced him to stop, ignoring the aggravated sigh that he let out.
“Would it be all right if I joined you?” she asked, pulling her hair away from her face.
Leonardo narrowed his brow, still not wanting to face Carrie. “I don’t think that would be a good-“
”Please, Leo?” Carrie smiled and playfully tugged on him. “We haven’t done it in so long! I miss it! And besides, I distinctly remember you threatening to return the ass kicking I gave you last time.”
And as if the growing sunlight vanquished his dark visions, Leonardo felt a laugh burst from his mouth. The clouds lifted from his eyes and Carrie was once again by his side.
“And I distinctly remember letting you kick my ass.” He joked, knocking into her with the elbow Carrie continued to grasp as they walked on.
“Let me? Oh, I don’t think so!” Carrie shook her index finger in the air. “I caught you off guard and you know it!”
“I only let my guard down to make you feel better. Your swordplay stinks. You need more practice.”
And as Carrie’s mouth dropped opened in disgust, Leonardo slid out of her clutches and took off through the brush, his laughter echoing along the pine canopy above. Carrie chased after him, still trying to hold onto her smile as more thoughts spin around in her head. She knew she needed time away from Raphael, time to think more clearly about their relationship without the distraction of sex. With Leonardo, it was only a matter of setting aside the uneasiness and, for a short time, forgetting what had occurred the day before, even if his emotions had suddenly pulled a 360-degree turn only a minute ago. Deciding Leonardo was the lesser of the two evils, and that their friendship was strong enough to overcome the tension, Carrie let the smile come back and she picked up her pace.
Upon reaching the clearing, the same one she had found the turtles in on that life-changing night, Carrie lurched over, hands on her knees, and tried to slowly regain her breath. The cold air stung deeper into her lungs, and she silently cursed Leonardo for making her run.
“Out of shape, are we?”
Carrie jerked up and looked around, not knowing where the source of Leonardo’s voice was. She peered deeper into the mess of branches and tree trunks, her eyes catching everything that blew around in the wind.
“You can’t find me, can you?” Leonardo mocked, his laughter softer, but still having enough volume to make it echo. “You really are out of practice.”
“How is this part of your practice?” Carrie growled back, her frustrations growing as the wind blew Leonardo’s laughter around her head.
“One of the basics of ninjitsu,” his voice whispered this time, making Carrie fell as if he was everywhere at once. She took a step backwards, then spun around as a branch snapped only a few feet behind her. Carrie inhaled, blocking out the pain in her lungs, and held her breath. She moved only her eyes around, leaving her body to jump at every little sound as she moved backward toward the center of the clearing. The fear of not knowing what to expect was spreading rapidly through her. Carrie clasped her hands to her chest to repress the shaking, but couldn’t help the trembles in her stomach and legs.
Taking another step back, Carrie felt a slight pressure against her spine. She froze in place, her breath still stuck in her esophagus, and slowly turned her head to look over her shoulder.
“Be aware of your surroundings.” Leonardo smiled, almost savoring the fact he caught Carrie off guard, and he careful nudged the tip of his sword deeper into her back. “Thought we went over this already.”
“Yeah, well, it takes me a few times before things sink into my brain.” Carrie mocked as she inhaled through her nose and allowed her body to relax as the blade dropped.
“Is that supposed to be a blonde joke or something?”
Carrie wrinkled her nose and sneered as Leonardo pulled the other sword from its sheath and threw it high into the air, catching it carefully by the blade upon its return and shoving the handle into Carrie’s face. His teasing smile grew a little bigger, as did the taunting gleam in his brown eyes, and he further annoyed Carrie by pulling the sword back as she reached for it.
“After all those nice things you said about me...” Carrie pretended to pout, amused by Leonardo’s childish antics.
“What?” he asked sheepishly. “ Raph is the only one who can make sarcastic cracks at you?”
Carrie sighed heavily and yanked the blade away from the turtle, only to have her wrist give out. The sword clattered to the ground, the sound reverberating around the wall of trees.
“Holy crap! Did those things get heavier or something?” Carrie bent down and retrieved the sword, this time holding the handle with both hands but still feeling her knees buckle under the weight of the metal. Leonardo arched his brow as he watched Carrie strained to stand back up, then grabbed her upper arms and pulled her to her feet.
“Okay, maybe we should start out with something a little easier.” He took the sword back, replacing it into the sheath on his back as he walked to the edge of the clearing. A few seconds later he returns to Carrie with two long pieces of wood that had been carved to resemble his katana.
“This is better. Much better.” Carrie ran her palm up the side of the false blade, its texture smooth and flawless. “What were these called again? Bokken?”
Leonardo flipped the sword around in his hand, getting used to the almost feather-like weight. “That, you remember?”
“Like I said, it takes a few times for things to sink in.” Carrie gasped the bottom of the sword in her right hand and pointed the blade toward Leonardo. “These I remember because you told me I wasn’t strong enough for a real sword.”
Leonardo started to let out a fake laugh, but yelped instead as the point of the wooden sword jabbed him in the side. Carrie pulled back, the smile on her face cracking under the weight of the laughter wanting to escape.
“Hey, now. That wasn’t very nice.” Leonardo rubbed at the ache next to the rim of his shell, his top lip curling up into a grin.
“Of course it wasn’t!” Carrie cackled, shifted her feet around to the left side and again jabbed Leonardo. “Come on, tough guy! Let’s rumble!”
The blue masked turtle wanted to retaliate, but was instead lost in laughter, recalling how Carrie had said the same thing the first time he had ever allowed her to practice with him.
“You’re not taking this very seriously,” Leonardo cleared his throat and got a better grip on his sword. He watched Carrie shuffled back and forth, whipping the sword around in the air. The motion was enough to distracted Leonardo, and Carrie once again caught him off guard with another poke in his side.
“What’s wrong, Leo?” Carrie beamed liked an angel with a broken halo. “Lost your fighting spirit already?”
Leonardo pushed his lips together, his eyes narrowed in disapproval, his sword pointed to the ground near his right leg. Carrie couldn’t help but giggle. It was “The Look,” as Raphael had called it, the one that you get when you know you’ve pushed Leonardo’s buttons a little too much. Carrie lowered her sword, her eyes moving down with it, and choked back her laughter.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m not taking this seriously. I just-just wanted to have a little fun, forget about things, you know?”
When Carrie rose her head, she was all alone again. Her first thought was to cuss and scream at Leonardo for playing with her, but she instead quieted her mind and focused. The wind made it near impossible for Carrie to hear anything, its gusts seeming to speed up the more she concentrated. So she instead listened to her gut feeling, her intuition, and it was a spilt second later that Carrie whipped around and stopped Leonardo’s rushing attack from behind.
“Impressive.”
Carrie winked, then pulled back. “I try.”
And with that, their mock fight kicked into high gear, the winding grabbing the sound of the clashing wooden swords and swirling it around the clearing. With only a few grunts here and there, neither one of them spoke much, Leonardo only pausing long enough to point out a wrong stance or foot position.
He was very proud of Carrie. She had taken his training, if that is what it really was, and put herself completely into it. Though she was a far cry from matching his skills, Leonardo could see the determination in her gray eyes. Carrie wanted to be good. He could feel it every time the wooden blade collided with his. Leonardo let his thoughts wonder, trying to remember where else he had seen that want, that need to be the best. Right away he thought of Raphael. Like him, Raphael was persistent in his ninja training, even if his persistence leaned more toward the need of kicking ass and taking names. But Carrie wasn’t close to sharing the anger Raphael had. End of similarities.
Going back to Carrie and stopping her before she hit him in the back, Leonardo set his eyes into hers and studied even deeper. So deep that he felt like his mind had separated from his body and had taken flight across time and space. Squinting his eyes from the light that broke through the pine limbs, he could sense things were changing around him. The trees morphed into thick, brick walls. The sun became the moon, complete with a foreboding mist. The chorus of chirping birds turned into a more familiar symphony of police sirens and honking horns from irate city drivers.
Another clash of swords. A scrap of metal. He watched as his hands shook, the vibration running down deep inside his wrists. Leonardo looked up. Karai smiled back.
You are not concentrating, Leonardo. What distracts you?
The swords cross again, high over their heads. Leonardo loses himself in her piercing green eyes. Nothing.
Karai’s lips curl into a vicious smile. You do not lie very well. Tell me, Leonardo. Am I the one who distracts you?
Leonardo frowns at the sensations stirring deep inside of him and pulls his sword back. He steps back as Karai moves forward, their bodies perfectly synchronized. She slashes at him with her blade. Leonardo stumbles over his own feet, missing his chance to block, and Karai’s sword rips at his shoulder. He grabs at the scratch, gritting his teeth in anger as the pain burns down his left arm. Karai moves again, and Leonardo knocks her to the ground, grabbing her ankles with his feet. She cries out, the sound of her distressed voice brings a smile to Leonardo’s face.
He stands over her, his sword poised at the top of her breasts, which rise and fall with her short breaths. Karai pushes herself up on her elbows, forcing the tip of the sword against her skin. Their eyes lock again, and Karai hears Leonardo quickly suck in a deep breath as she tugs on the knot that holds the sides of her black kimono together. The fabric seems to fall slowly, hugging the form of Karai’s well-kept body.
If I am not a distraction to you, Leonardo, let me retrieve my sword so we may continue.
Her words never made it to Leonardo’s ears. All of his focus was on the tight black tank top and matching panties that Karai had reveled. He moved his sword back, only to slap the cold steel against Karai’s inner thigh. She didn’t flinch nor cry out again, only coaxed Leonardo on with her eyes.
I think you meant to be a distraction, Karai. Leonardo barely recognizes his own voice. It was deep, laced with desire. Karai licked her top lip slowly, closing her eyes and leaning her head back as the blade traveled up the inside of her leg and over her navel. Leonardo pulled the sword back and knelt down over his prey.
“Uh, Leo, could you let me up now?” Carrie pleaded, wishing she hadn’t lost her grip on her sword when Leonardo had tripped her. Leonardo was pinning her down to the ground, his body straddling hers. His knees had locked her waist, making it impossible for her to move away.
“Leo, this isn’t funny.” Carrie called out again, her fingernails digging into the turtle’s biceps and trying with everything she had to make him move. “Come on! Please let me up!”
But her words never made it to Leonardo’s ears.
Holding Karai down to the roof, Leonardo leaned over and traced her neckline with his tongue. She began to protest, a wicked smile on her face and a devilish giggle in her voice. Leonardo seized her tiny wrists, forcing her arms above her head, which pushed her breasts further against his chest plates. Karai pulled a hand free and grabbed Leonardo’s mask, jerking his mouth to hers before tearing the entire thing from his face. After sharing a deep kiss, Leonardo allowed Karai to have to other hand back, then buried his face in her neck, his lips working down to the top of the tank top while his hands squeezed her breasts and pulled at the fabric surrounding them. Karai wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed his face against her hot skin, whispering in Japanese the most obscene things Leonardo had ever heard. His erection throbbed inside his shell, begging to be released, and the need to free Karai of her form-fitting underwear was making him literally go insane. In one swift move, he pulled the tanto blade out of Karai’s boot and held it between their faces. Karai, who was caught by surprise by the act, purred deep in her throat and watched in anticipation as Leonardo slid the blade under her shirt. The blade cut effortlessly and the material fell back, barely clinging to Karai’s erect nipples. Leonardo ran the blade down her stomach, his breath staggering as he grabbed her underwear. Slowly he began to move the blade back and forth down the middle of the fabric, his eyes never moving away from hers.
Carrie couldn’t believe what was happening. It was only minutes ago that she was in the middle of mock sword fight with Leonardo, both of them laughing and goofing around like so many times before. She never noticed the change in Leonardo’s eyes, the cloud of anger that suddenly came over him. She thought he was in deep concentration. She thought that Leonardo was only playing around when he grabbed her ankles and put her down to the ground. Carrie had been ready to receive another lecture about letting her guard down, but was instead scared out of her mind when Leonardo drew his real katana from its sheath and ran the tip of it up her body, stopping a mere inch at her throat.
She had giggled nervously, called uncle, and held her hand out so that Leonardo could help her up. He sat down on top of her, whispered things to her in some language she couldn’t understand, and began to place light kisses on her neck. She felt like giving in, his touches overwhelming her, but Carrie knew it was wrong. She fought against it, her voice calm and persistent. He had then grabbed her wrists and held them tightly over her head, and Carrie’s protests grew in volume. He kissed her again, on the mouth this time, and Carrie melted into it, her body shaking in pleasure.
Carrie had dreamed about this moment. She had dreamed that her kindhearted and quiet friend Leonardo had come to her bedroom and taken her, forcing her into complete submission. He had said and done things to her that would make even Raphael wince and turn away. Carrie closed her eyes and thought of those things as Leonardo’s kisses ran down her neck, his hands working on her breasts through the thick material of her sweatshirt. Her quick gasps for air turned into high-pitched cries, her body responding to its natural urges to push and grind against the turtle on top of her. And just when Carrie thought she was going to orgasm and feel her liquids soak through her track pants, Leonardo pulled back, suddenly holding a small but very sharp knife in his hand.
That’s when Carrie finally saw the fire burning in his brown eyes, the deep hatred that had been dwelling there for years, and the knife was poised right over her windpipe.
“I’m not allowing you to haunt me anymore,” Leonardo said with a growl to his voice. “ I’m tired of you controlling every aspect of my life. I’m through thinking about you, dreaming about you. You ruined my life, but not anymore.”
Carrie’s eyes grew wide as the knife lifted high above Leonardo’s head, its blade catching the morning sun.
“It’s all over, Karai.”
Carrie heard a scream echoing in her ears, only realizing that it was coming from her mouth as the blade came down. With her body acting faster than her brain could think, Carrie shifted her weight, balled her fist up, and slammed it into Leonardo’s face. The knife plunged into the ground, taking some of Carrie’s hair with it, and the turtle tittered over to the cold ground. Carrie jumped to her feet, tears coming down like a waterfall. She held her hand to her chest, her knuckles on fire and very limp.
Leonardo was on his knees a moment later, his hand rubbing at the sudden and very painful swelling that was erupting at the corner of his mouth. He blinked a few times, the memories of the past vanishing as quickly as they had appeared, and he spun around to Carrie.
“What was that for?” he asked, his voice normal again, trembling slightly in shock.
Carrie sobbed harder and couldn’t stop herself from screaming as she spoke. “You sick fuck! You tried to fucking kill me!”
“What?” Leonardo asked quietly, watching the look of fear on Carrie’s tear-stained face. “What are you-you talking about? I didn’t-,”
“Stay away from me!” Carrie shrieked as Leonardo stood up and reached for her.
“Carrie, please just calm-,”
“Fuck you!” Carrie screamed again, pulling her injured hand closer to her chest. “Just stay the fuck away from me!”
Leonardo watched as Carrie turned around and fled into the woods, her cries disappearing as the wind ripped through the clearing. The pain in his face tingled again, and as he rubbed at his swollen cheek, Leonardo spotted the black handle of his tanto, the one Splinter had given him as a gift. He bent down to pull the blade from the earth, wondering how it ended up there while untangling the lock of Carrie’s blonde hair. Deciding that it probably slipped out from his belt, Leonardo jumped to his feet and followed Carrie’s fading footsteps.
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