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Mr. Mxy's Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Funhouse	By : Jayrich Category: DC Verse Cartoons - Teen Titans > Crossovers > Threesomes Plus Views: 9481 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or Superman. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Mr. Mxyzptlk’s Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Funhouse

The sun is beginning to set over Go City, as its residents make their weary journey home after a hard day of labor. But for two citizens of Go City, the workday is just beginning. On top of a high ridge overlooking the downtown area sits Robin, straddled onto his R-cycle. He takes off his helmet and looks down onto the street, watching for any signs of trouble. An alarm activated 5 minutes ago is what brought him here, but there’s no sign of distress.

As he diligently surveys the city, a small robin with forest green feathers and a lime green underbelly flutters down and perches on his shoulder. The Titan Robin just ignores the bird, until it starts chirping happily and loudly.

“Knock it off, Beast Boy.” He says, keeping his focus on the streets.

The robin ceases it’s chirping and flies off Robin’s shoulder in front of him, before morphing into the green-skinned Titan. “Aw come on, Robin!” He whines. “Why are we even staking out the place? I say we bust in through the front, kick some ass and make it back home so I can get the hot tub ready tonight.”

“We don’t know what we’re dealing with yet, Beast Boy.” Robin tells him, before lifting a curious eyebrow. “And get the tub ready for what?”

“Uh, Hello? The ladies!?” BB reminds his teammate, wearing a sly grin. “They love a superhero with a hot tub. Speaking of ladies, where’s Star & Argent?”

“On the street, waiting for my signal. And the tub was installed for therapy, to help us recover from injuries. You’re not gonna use it for…” Robin cuts himself off when he notices a very bright pyrotechnic display coming from inside the factory. “It’s hot, let’s go!”

Sliding on his helmet, Robin revs his bike and speeds off down the grassy ridge towards street level and the factory. Beast Boy follows behind in the air, as a bald eagle. Once on the street, the Boy Wonder pulls out his communicator as he makes a beeline towards the factory.

“Star, do you read me?”

“I can hear you, Robin.” She replies on the other end.

“Me and Beast Boy will enter through the front. You and Argent take the rear. Be ready for anything. Robin out!”

He cuts off his communicator and pops his cycle into a wheelie, heading full speed towards the double door entrance of the warehouse. Going for a grand entrance, he busts through the doors, knocking them off their hinges, and skids to a stop in the middle of the Warehouse.

“Alright, the jig is up!” Robin announces. “Come out with…your…hands?”

Unfortunately, the announcement is made to a dark & vacant run-down warehouse. Though there where bright & colorful flashing lights coming from the windows just moments ago, the warehouse shows no signs of current activity, nor any activity for years. As Robin ponders over the development, Beast Boy glides in as an eagle, before morphing back into his human form.

“Uh, maybe we got the wrong evil villain warehouse?” He quips, to which Robin ignores. But as the two scan the darkness in the building, the sound of a gun being fired fills the air, followed by an adjacent window being broken. It’s no normal gun though, as Robin immediately notices, it’s a bat-grapple. Looking up in the direction of the broken window, Robin’s guess is confirmed as a slightly taller, slender & shapely female swings in to join the two Titans. Robin can tell it isn’t Star or Argent, but another heroic female that he’s well acquainted with…Batgirl.

“Robin…didn’t expect to see you here.” She says, with an almost ridiculous amount of seduction in her voice. “But it is a pleasure.”

She strolls over to the boy wonder, staring at him with bedroom eyes strong enough to make Beast Boy morph into a puppet that could bend to her will. But Robin is better trained, and as she moves closer, she spots several things odd about ‘Barbara Gordon.’

“Tell me I’m not dreaming…” Beast Boy says, huddled behind Robin and looking over his shoulder at the bombshell redhead. “OK, I know you’re going out with Star, so I’ll be more than happy to take her off your hands!”

“And where does that leave us, cutie?”

Beast Boy backs away from his buddy as the two look on opposite sides and spots that Batgirl didn’t come alone. Wonder Woman & Hawkgirl, two of the Justice League’s finest, join the party as they surround Beast Boy.

“You wouldn’t leave us out in the cold, would you?” Hawkgirl asks lovingly, to which Beast Boy shakes his head in stunned awe.

Wonder Woman then turns the changeling’s attention to her by putting her fingers under his chin and turning his head. “And I’d love for a man to teach me all about the pleasures of sharing each others body. I’m sure a ‘Titan’ like you is up for it…”

Again, Beast Boy is unable to utter a word, as he can only nod his head & grin in unbridled bliss. But Robin plans on putting an end to it, as he fights off Batgirl’s advances.

“Snap out of it Beast Boy, they’re robots!” He says, deducing it some time ago.

“OK Dude, you’re just jealous cause I got two, and they’re Justice League babes!” Beast Boy replies, wrapping his arms around the waist of them both.

Robin decides to give his teammate visual evidence and, pulling out his batarang, he jams the sharp wing into Batgirl’s neck, causing wires and sparks to fly out and confirming his deduction. “Look into their eyes, Beast Boy!” He barks out. “They’re not real, they’re mechanical!”

Upon seeing the robotic Batgirl drop lifelessly to the ground, Beast Boy takes Robin’s advice. Gazing into Hawkgirl’s eyes, he spots an eerily red dot in the center of each retina. He then turns to Wonder Woman and spots the same, proving Robin is right. But the feel of the two is so lifelike, BB decides he doesn’t care.

“Well…so they’re mechanical!”

Getting frustrated, Robin decides to end it, and flips his batarang towards the three. It arcs up and circles around, beheading the Justice League Vixen robots and effectively ending Beast Boy’s fun. And as Robin catches his returning batarang, Beast Boy shoots him a cold look.

“Dude, I hate you so much right now.”

At that moment, the two more ‘colorful’ members of the Titans, Starfire & Argent, investigate their side of the warehouse. At least they try in vain as their area is encased in thick darkness.

“I think we should shine a little light in here, love.” Argent suggests.

Starfire responds by illuminating her fist with a star bolt, but the light from it is only bright enough to show the two females standing by each other. A moment later though, another light shines brightly in front of the two; a spotlight. It shines down upon a shirtless man with wavy black hair, who’s toweling himself off. His back is turned to Star & Argent, but both of them can immediately recognize his identity. The muscular torso, the long, flowing hair, it can only be one person…Aqualad.

“My word…” Argent utters, marveling over the deep-sea hero’s physique.

For a moment, Starfire can only manage a joker-like grin as she stares at the uncrowned hunk of the Titans. But she breaks herself from her admiration. “Aqualad, it is wonderful to see you here.” She says. “But I do wonder why?”

Hearing that question, Aqualad stops drying himself. He drops his towel and slowly starts turning towards the two, almost teasing them with the opportunity of seeing his handsome face. Or so they think…

“HELLOOOOO, LADIES!!!!”

The face of Aquaman’s apprentice is FAR from what they expected, as his features include a dopey grin, beady black eyes, large ears, and virtually no hair on his head, save for two long strands just above his forehead. Needless to say, it’s a horrifying sight.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

One that produces a scream from both heroines, loud enough for Robin & Beast Boy to hear.

“STARFIRE!!!”

“ARGENT!!!”

The two immediately charge towards the source of the scream, with Beast Boy morphing into a cheetah and breaking ahead of Robin. He reaches the two women first, followed by the boy wonder. “What happened!?”

Starfire can only point towards the spotlight, with a look of disgust on her face. Beast Boy and Robin look over to the spotlight at ‘Aqualad’.

“Was it something I said?”

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

In an instant, ‘Aqualad’ is transformed into a very short man wearing a purple suit, a derby to match and a pale green bowtie. “Women, ya can’t live with them, ya can’t ogle them with binoculars without being arrested. AM I RIGHT, MEN?”

Instead of answering, the 4 Titans just stare at the apparently magical being in somewhat shocked silenced, until Beast Boy breaks it. “Uh…just who are you?”

The little man floats into the air and slaps his palm over his forehead. “Ah! Where are my manners!? Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Mr. Mxyzptlk.”

Beast Boy cocks an eyebrow upward in confusion. “Mr. what-eddy what-what?”

Floating over to Beast Boy, he transforms into an electronic mixer & mixing bowl. “Mix…” He then turns into his normal form, with red spots covering his face, and sneezes in Beast Boy’s face. “Ill…” Then he transforms into a green dog, and licks the green changeling. “Pet, lick! It’s really simple to pronounce once you get it.”

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

And in the blink of an eye, he’s back in his normal form.

“I’ve heard of this guy.” Robin chimes in, wearing a displeased look. “A few Justice League members have had problems with him, mostly Superman & Batman.”

“Yeah, but I mostly like to leave ol’ gloomy pants for the mite kid. You know something to make him happy.” Mxy adds. “Anyway, the kid wonder’s right! I’ve gone toe-to-toe with the blue boy scout more times than he’s saved his reporter girl from ‘utter disaster’!”

“Then why are you here with us?” Beast Boy asks.

“Because lately, the blue bomber hasn’t been around for our little soirees.” Mxy admits. “I mean, traveling all across the universe. The guy’s barely on earth long enough for me to get a blip on him! But then, I heard about you guys and your little after school club…”

“We’re not interested.” Robin interrupts. “So just take your games elsewhere.”

Mxyzptlk narrows his eyes and smirks. “I kinda figured you’d be the wet blanket of the bunch. But being that I’m a superior being from the 5th dimension, you’re stuck with me, kid! At least until you can get me to say, spell, or otherwise reveal my name backwards.”

“It’s hard enough to do it forwards.” Robin replies, scratching his head. “How am I supposed to say it backwards?”

“Not you, ME!” Mxy explains. “I’m supposed to say it backwards.

Robin looks back at the magical being with a devious grin. “Say what?”

“KLTPZYXM!” Mxy yell, before realizing his error. “Aw, nuts.”

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

And just like that, the powerful Mxyzptlk is drawn away, back to his home dimension. “Ha! Nice one, dude!” Beast Boy remarks.

Robin nods his head and grins to himself. “Thanks. But I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him yet. He…”

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

“Nice one, boy blunder.” Mxy says, appearing back with the group. “But I don’t have a 3-month contract with you guys like I do the dolt of steel. So…”

“Aw man, Mr. Kltpzyxm is back.” Beast Boy interrupts, enraging Mxy.

“Not Kltpzyxm, Mxyzptlk!” He barks out. “Now, the first thing…Aw, Nuts!”

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

Beast Boy grins in victory. “Man, I didn’t think that would work.”

“This is a joyous game!” Starfire cheers. “I wish to play as well!”

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

“Alright, so the green kid is smarter than he looks.” Mxy declares, making his return. “But this time…”

“It is you!” Starfire interrupts, drawing his attention. “Mr. Kip…clip…kittle…”

“Having some stuttering problems there, Tangerine?” Mxy asks.

“I am sorry. It is just difficult to speak your name backwards.” Starfire explains.

“HA!” Mxy floats over to Starfire and begins to gloat. “Leave it to a Tamaran not to be able to say Kltpzyxm! I…NUTS!!!

ZZZZZZZZBOOMPH!!!

“I win!” Starfire announces with glee, until Mxy makes his inevitable return.

“ENOUGH, ALREADY!!!”

“What, you getting’ tired of us making you say—MMMPHHH???”

Argent finds herself suddenly silenced as a strip of duct tape latches to her mouth. “Nice try, silver-skin! But now, it’s time to play my game!”

Snapping his fingers, Mxy uses his powers to immediately change the scenery around the Titans. Instead of a darkened warehouse, they now find themselves on the roof of Wayne-Tech Enterprises, the tallest building in Gotham City. It’s near midnight, as a full moon shines down upon all of them.

“Like the venue?” Mxy asks, feigning care. “I thought I’d go with a classic, given the opponents you’re about to face.”

“Opponents?” Robin asks.

“Will this new game be violent?” Starfire inquires.

“OH YEAH!!!” Mxy exclaims. “In fact, you can say your playmates excel in violence.”

With another snap of Mxy’s fingers, out of thin air, a near legion of ninja dressed in crimson red pop onto the roof, each on armed to the teeth with katanas, sais, and any other sharply bladed weapon you can think of. They stand closely compacted together, some even standing crouched on others…all ready to attack.

“I’d like you to meet ‘The Fist’!” Mxy says, introducing the ninja. “The deadliest clan of mystical ninja this side of the continuum! They usually fight blind guys and ninja chicks who dress in bathing suits, but they’ll make an exception today.”

“Well bring it on!” Beast Boy replies, stretching into a crude martial arts stance. “Because I’ve been waiting to show off my mad Kung-Fu skills!” Robin, Starfire & Argent turn to their green teammate and all shoot him a look of disbelief. “…or I could just turn into some large, ferocious animals and kick ass that way.”

“Regardless, I hope you got Titan Medical Insurance.” Mxy suggests, ordering his troops forward. On his whim, the Fist Ninjas rumble forward like a perfect storm of pain. Weapons are drawn, and battlecries are yelled, as death figures to be the clan’s only goal. But even as the human crimson wave of destruction draws close, the Titans never back down. Instead, they wait for their lead to give his battlecry, and he delivers.

“TITANS, GO!!!”

Fearlessly they leap into the fray, not one showing a single sign of wariness…ok, maybe Beast Boy but it quickly passes. As the ninjas engulf the titanic teens, sounds of steel weapons clashing fill the air for a moment…and it ends when the legion of ninjas are blown back, nearly off the roof.

Beast Boy is the first Titan to go on the offensive. Morphing into a Triceratops, he charges full speed around the roof, goring and taking out ninja by the dozens. Those that are able to avoid his rampage are handled by the rest. Starfire is next, rising into the air and illuminating her hands as she gives her own battlecry.

“X’HAL!!!”

She then begins to pick off any grounded ninja in her sights like the Green Arrow…only with superpowers. Those ninja who go airborne to combat her end up receiving a demonstration in her strength as she easily dispatches them with moves and strategy that would make Wonder Woman proud. Argent remains on the outside. Hovering around the roof, she keeps a hand’s distance away from the ninjas…that is her power hands, as she uses them to swat, slap and smash every ninja she can find.

And in the very middle of the martial arts storm lies Robin. With his metal bo in hand, he dispatches any ninja that gets close. Unfortunately, with his friends working the outside so well, the remaining ninja, which are still numerous, crash to the inside, flooding the boy wonder. Now in close quarters, the battle becomes evened. With every strike Robin gives out, he takes a slice and/or a cut. They’re not fatal, but blood is being drawn. Seeing this, Robin reluctantly decides to resort to more effective measures. Grabbing a ninja, he delivers a boot to his face, allowing him to obtain his katana. From there, Robin does Batman and his sensei proud, showcasing the sword fighting skills of an expert martial artist. Every strike cuts the skin of a ninja, not enough to kill but more than enough to disable. Within moments, over 3 dozen of the Fist clan lies at Robin’s feet, either unable to move or luckily left with limited movement.

The other three mop up the remaining ninja, quickly downing them as they end the fight, and notice the pile Robin has left.

“Whoa…” Argent utters, floating back onto the roof. “I wouldn’t wanna be those blokes.”

Starfire is next to join Robin on the roof. “You…did not…”

“No.” Robin answers, flinging the sword away. It sticks into the roof blade down just as Beast Boy joins the group.

“Well, I guess I can add ‘kicked ninja asses’ to my resume.” He says, happy about the outcome.

The covert celebration is cut short though, as the sound of golf clapping is heard coming from above them. Looking up, they see Mr. Mxyzptlk applauding, and also holding a bucket of popcorn. “BRAVO, BRAVO!!!” He cheers. “Every bit as hard-hitting and action-packed as advertised. You really put the smackdown on those guys!”

The magical man snaps his fingers again, and transports the heroes back into the darkened warehouse from which this adventure began. “What a show! In fact, I think I’ll through some flowers…”

Reaching behind his back, Mxy pulls out a potted plant which looks like a hybrid of a rose & a Venus flytrap. He tosses it down to the Titans, and it lands in the middle of them. Robin, Beast Boy and Argent raise a curious eyebrow to the ‘present’ Mxy has offered. But Starfire’s face fills with fear upon the sight of it.

“No…not that…”

The Tamaran powerhouse drops down to her knees, and looks over at the Titans’ leader. “Robin, you must rid us of this plant. Especially me!”

“What is it, Star?” Robin asks. “What’s it gonna do?”

“PLEASE! Just be rid of it!”

Deciding not to question the matter more, Robin takes action. “BEAST BOY!!!”

“On it!” Morphing into a Gorilla, he grabs the plant and hurls it with all of his might, sending it through the warehouse window and into the sky to land possibly several miles away.

Reverting to his human form, he brushes his hands and turns back to his teammates. “Heh, just call me Peyton Man—WHAT???”

Shock fills the changeling’s eyes, as well as the rest of the team, as they find the plant right back in its spot, seemingly not even moved. Robin doesn’t stand for it. “ARGENT!!!”

Responding quickly, she encases the plant in an energy orb using her powers. Starfire breathes a sigh of relief and stands up to her feet. “Thank you, Argent.”

“S’no problem.” She replies. “Now to find a way to get rid of this thing.”

“Oh dear Argent…” Mxy interrupts. “…if only it were that easy…”

Snapping his fingers, Mxy causes over a dozen more of the plants to fall from the ceiling, surrounding the Titans. Starfire drops back to her knees, now in a panicked state. “No…No, this is not good!”

“WHAT ARE THE PLANTS DOING TO HER???” Robin demands.

“Easy there, Boy Wonder.” Mxy tells him. “Don’t pop a gasket. I don’t do simple kills. Besides, I’d be a lot more worried about you, than I’d be about your orange crush.”

Robin becomes perplexed over those words, by Mxy happily explains. “You see, that plant is called the Tamaranian Dragon Lily, as are the ones surrounding you. Now the plants can do a lot of wondrous things. But there’s one special trait it has. You see, when its pollen hits the air…IT PUTS TAMARANIANS IN HEAT!!!”

A near sadistic grin fills the magical being’s face. In heat? Starfire? The idea is almost chaotic, especially given Starfire’s skills. A hint of worry appears on Robin’s face as he turns back to his teammate…and Mr. Mxyzptlk is right. Her body begins to tremble, as she gropes her breast with her right hand. Gazing up, she shows Robin an unmistakable look that lies on her face…a look of pure lust.
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Mr. Mxy's Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Funhouse