rate_review Reviews

amazing =]

Well as far as writing goes it's very well written. But, being the critic I am by nature, I do have to point out the bad things. You do something known as plot jumping...which is pretty much self descriptive. One moment she's in a bar. Then, she's in a fight. Those two may stack up, except the fight scene was kinda anti-climactic. No action, nothing that really gets you thinking "hell, I'm glad I'm reading this." Then there's the police station incident. I don't think that in the middle of a police station two criminals are going to be left unhandcuffed, forgotten about, and armed, regardless of the situation. Then out of nowhere it's suddenly a teleportation right into a romantic love scene, with a sex scene that only lasts a paragraph or two and is kinda lacking any real emotional interest. It almost seems bland.

That all said, you have a talent for side-alongs, and are good with descriptions, character mentalities, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. I give you a 3/5.