Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for [Power Pack/Melusine] - Stella Maris

By : MrPunch1
  • From ANON - Ashmount on November 01, 2013
    I don't know about the Jack and Katie bit, but I do like the Alex and Julie bit. Personally this should be an Alex and Julie story and not Jack and Katie
    Report Review

  • From ANON - sabaku_lotus on January 22, 2013
    Hoping that Melusine doesn't rape Juile. Don't mind anything but rape.

    Yeah lieing was such a smart move lol.

    Oh by the way good luck on moving and the internet. I had to change mine because my old one wasn't working in my new area anymore. Also good luck in life in general as well.

    I still need to sign in totally.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - sabaku lotus on January 01, 2013
    Its like reading the power pack comics. Except with sex.

    Just wow.....I usually don't like incest but I like this and I'm reading this. Hope you don't drop this.
    Report Review

  • From FairySlayer on December 21, 2012
    So far I've gotten to enjoy only the first two chapters and am waiting to get to the third. So far, so great. You mentioned that some people found the writing a little "purple," but perhaps it could be called flowery and, for the most part, I find it more charming and more poetic, richer. It's a language richer in simile and metaphor, yet one doesn't need a dictionary and thesaurus or knowledge of all the great literature of the past three-thousand years to enjoy. (If there are references to it, all the much better for those who know it, but I certainly don't feel left out.) Just be careful that it doesn't bulk up the text and delay the telling too much.

    ... and then, after finishing this wall of text, I look back and think what a hypocrite I can be. ;)

    The more noticeable down side is when it occurs during flashbacks, taking more time than necessary (IMO) to explain what we need to know for the scene to make sense but takes long enough that I'm pulled out of the original moment so much that I need to regain my bearings when it switches back into the main story. Perhaps some of the writing seemed repetitive, or perhaps the differences in simile were so subtle that I took them to mean the same thing. Still, this applies mostly to the flashback regarding Katie and Jack: while some explanation was necessary I'd wished it could have been worked into the "present" story somehow instead of the long search through the boy's thoughts.

    Now, the flashback to Julie's illness and risky behavior with Alex in the beginning was certainly necessary and perfectly placed to set the mood and main premise of the story. Alex's flashback to the strange events and no-doubt disturbing, even heartbreaking fight with his friends could have been told after he snapped at Julie and locked himself in his room, bringing the incident into the story in a more timely way. However then I realized it made more sense to wait until he was the focal point - the one whose mind could be delved into when the spotlight was on him – and he happened to be replaying the events of the day anyway.

    Even though the story is third-person (limited) omniscient it is actually nicer to get a clear point of view from each of the characters. So sticking with Julie's heartbreaking disappointment was the right way to go since it was all about her at that time; then explaining Alex's reaction as part of his mulling over the situation and how the image of Julie, vulnerable and wanting, saved him from "the attack" but also drove him a little nuts because it was distressing that he'd even imagine something other than a brotherly love for his sister. He couldn't just explain, "A villainess was trying to sex me up for some nefarious reason but the thought of you naked and wanting me instead got me so much hornier that I could break free of her magical and physical enticements."

    Now, once it got to 12:30 and Jack woke Katie then the speed picked up: the story of their previous sexual play had been taken care of so here the action was able to flow much better, pretty much in real time or darned close to it. I found their inexperienced yet enthusiastic steps and missteps adorable. Katie realizing that there was "another hole" may have made me laugh a bit too hard, but I think I was on the path and I always try to stifle it if others are around. The little girl was very eager but only to become one with her beloved older brother, even more so than just to experience full-on sex. It feels like her drive was to express her feelings and get him to reciprocate more than it was important to pleasure him, or derive any herself, but then again that kind of shared pain, anticipation and release is a big part of giving oneself over to another. In the adult world that's not everything, but to a little girl that has to be as real as it can be, or perhaps way beyond.

    So while we know there's some big bad (and when she's bad, she's very very good) evil lady out there trying to seduce Alex, but likely only as some trick to gain power over him. It's Julie who truly aches for him to be completely and solely intimate with him – give him total mastery over her – with only the fear of rejection and maybe worse stopping her from pursuing him. Then Jack has the total hots for Julie but she doesn't take him seriously, and from what I can tell it may be little more than a crush. Like you wrote his sisters, which means both of them, are his whole world when it comes to girls. Then Katie makes her intentions clear by becoming attached at the hip with Jack to show she means business, and he gladly accepts. But that doesn't mean he's still given up on being with his older sister.

    Or to put it simply, there's potential for more love triangles than Pythagoras' autobiography. Fortunately there's a different feeling and need to each of these interactions, whether or not they ever become expressed sexually, so the dynamics of each pair's relationships – and how they play within the rest of the group – should be very interesting. There's plenty of room for conflict within the Pack, some we've already seen. No doubt there will be even more hard feelings among them and more secrets, even after Alex finally spills the beans about the attack (if not how he managed to escape her clutches).

    Anyway, I probably wrote too much, and very well if 831/3% of what I wrote is proven wrong by later because, most of all, I like to be surprised and don't want any clues about what's coming next. (I don't even watch commercials or "scenes from our next episode" stuff.)

    Thanks for such sweet, moving and very tasty storytelling. I really look forward to more.

    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!