Batman: The Killing Fuck

BY : Psychostorm
Category: DC Verse Comics > Batman
Dragon prints: 12089
Disclaimer: DisFUCKINGclaimer: I do not own Batman, Batgirl, or any other related characters that are owned by DC, or other legal entities. I don't make any money off of this epic work of human literature.

A/N: If you’re going to make the first half of your shitty movie bad fanfiction, at least do it right...


Somewhere in the Bowels of DC Headquarters

Brian Azzarello: Ya know Brucie, Warner Brothers wants us to do a Killing Joke movie…

Bruce Timm: Yep.

Brian Azzarello: But ya know, some people say that graphic novel is misogynistic as fuck…

Bruce Timm: Yep.

Brian Azzarello: So what the hell are we gonna do Brucie? We’re in some shit. We’ve got triggered feminists on one side, ready to tear our balls off, and butthurt neckbeard virgin fanboys on the other side, ready to say mean things to us at ComicCon. Whata we gonna do Brucie?

Bruce Timm: Hmm… let’s make our own story for the first half of the movie.

Azzarello: And?

Bruce Timm: And we’ll make it so over the top misogynistic, that the actual Killing Joke part of the movie seems tame by comparison.

Brian Azzarello: You’re a goddamn genius Brucie.


High Above the Rooftops of Gotham City

It was a Friday. The crisp night air of Gotham City starkly contrasted against the muggy heat between Batgirl’s legs. She shifted, squirmed, and scratched uncomfortably as she swung through the air on her bat-line, high above the gloomy city below.

Looking down, the grimy yellow lights of the city chaffed her soul worse than the cheap spandex of her costume chaffed her pretty pink butthole. A scowl of discomfort furrowed her brow as she contemplated the countless number of rapes that must be taking at that very second, and furiously scratched her itchy crotch.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!” she screamed as she slammed into the side of a building, her hand slipping off the bat-line. In a fit of terror, Batgirl fell head first towards the pavement faster than a meth addict’s fetus into a South Florida gas station toilet bowl.

“You stupid cunt!”

Out of nowhere Batman swung in, heroically grabbed Batgirl by the crotch, and swung to the safety of a nearby rooftop.

Batgirl breathed a sigh of relief, happy to feel the solid concrete of the rooftop below her. But then, suddenly, she glared at Batman who was standing over her, his face twisted into a smug scowl of male privileged superiority.

“I told you not to call me the ‘c word,’ it isn’t empowering!” snapped Batgirl angrily, flipping her auburn hair over her shoulder, and out of her pouting face.

“Don’t be a fucking idiot Barbara. I said “Your stupid cunt,” I was speaking literally. When I grabbed your crotch I noticed that you haven’t shaved your pussy in months. Your fur pie is getting way out of fucking control.” said Batman, winning the argument instantly because, as any Batman fanboy will tell you… HE’S BATMAN.

But Batgirl wasn’t about to give up yet. She had been frequenting Tumblr the past few months, and had become EMPOWERED as fuck. No man was about to use the bearded clam between her legs to shame her.

“You listen here you misogynistic ass commando…” began Batgirl getting to her feet, when suddenly she noticed that the heat between her legs was no longer just from her overgrown pubes. Her face turned redder than Hellboy’s big thick devil dick as she realized that she had pissed all over herself.

“I didn’t fucking train you so that you could come out here and piss all over yourself like some scared little girl waiting for daddy to come home and rape her again.” scolded Batman, looking at her piss soaked spandex an shaking his head with disappointment.

“Fuck you Bruce. If you hadn’t grabbed my fucking genitals like the goddamn male sex obsessed swine you are, this would never have happened!” spat Batgirl. “And why did you have to make a rape reference you sick fuck? Thanks for proving that all men are rapists!”

“Hmm… Barbara… Bruce… like Barbara Gordon? And Bruce Wayne?”

The bickering superheroes looked up, shocked to see some raggedy homeless guy rousing from a drunken stupor from behind some power generators on the roof.

“Goddamn it Barbara! You just revealed our identities!” cursed Batman, storming over towards the homeless man.

Grabbing the bum by his crusty balls, Batman tossed his dumb ass off the roof to his death.

“Holy shit Bruce you just fucking killed him!” cried Batgirl, freaking out at Batman’s psychotic behavior. “And you goddamn molested him in the process!”

“Fuck that guy.” said Batman, watching the man’s body splatter onto the pavement with a satisfied smile.

“Well thanks for proving men always resort to violence.” said Batgirl, winning a major victory for feminism in that moment, and crushing the patriarchy.

Batman reached into his utility belt and rummaged around, “Listen, we’re wasting too much time here, get fucking changed, and let’s get back to patrolling this fucking city already.” he said, tossing an unsoiled pair of latex tights at Batgirl’s feet.

“I don’t know, this city is run by sexist over privileged white males, maybe it deserves to burn to the ground.” replied Batgirl, pulling down her black spandex tights. “HEY, turn around!” she snapped, suddenly realizing that Batman’s eyes were all over her body like Jared Fogle’s dick all over the 5-inch foot long sub sandwiches he used to serve to kids before he was caught.

“Why are you ashamed of your body all of the sudden?” retorted Batman with a smirk. “I thought you were an empowered feminist warrior now.”

“You know; I hate you Bruce. I really fucking hate you.” said Batgirl with a huff, taking off her tights and leaving herself naked from the waist down.

“Then why don’t you come over here and fuck me like you hate me.” said Batman, his lips twisting into a grin any self-help guru would be proud of.

Batgirl cautiously looked down at her mentor’s crotch to see the biggest bulge in the history of mankind. A sudden heat ignited between her legs, and it wasn’t from her overgrown potty otter, OR her yellow glory this time.

She took one step forward and that was all the “consent” Batman needed. Moving quickly, he grabbed the horny out-of-control girl by her shoulders, and forced her onto her knees. “Take it out bitch!” he commanded with unbreakable Hitler-like authority.

“Stop using words like ‘bitch,’ it’s disrespectful to women you scrotum juggling ass clown!” snapped Batgirl, pulling down Batman’s tights, and whipping out the biggest penis she had ever seen. “Holy fuck, this can’t be right, there’s no fucking way…”

“What? Never seen a real baloney pony before?” asked Batman with a self-confident grin. “I bet all those guys you were fucking in college like the whore you are had little micro chodes that you could pick a lock with.”

“No, I’m just wondering how the FUCKING HELL you can be super rich, be the best in the world at hand-to-hand combat, be unnaturally handsome, fight on the level of guys like Superman, be the best detective in the world, be a goddamn genius, and STILL have a monster love muscle.” replied Batgirl cautiously jacking off the meat log in front of her.

“Being a Gary Stu has its perks.” said Batman unironically. “Thank you Bruce Timm.”

Batgirl rolled her eyes as she contemplated just how the hell she was going to fit 15 inches of dong in her mouth when suddenly Batman grabbed her by the hair and slammed his bald-headed baby maker straight down her throat.

“Through the teeth, past the gums, look out stomach here it comes!” cried Batman as he rammed his meat pole straight down into Batgirl’s stomach despite her muffled cries.

The female superhero flailed about and fought for her life as Batman deep-stomached her repeatedly, letting out a ‘WHOOOOOOOO!’ every time the tip of his who-who-dilly grazed her stomach acid for an extra tingly, minty fresh sensation which reminded him of the time he went skiing down Mount Everest butt ass naked.

Noticing the pained struggles of his sidekick, Batman stopped his incessant thrusting and caressed her cheek softly, stepping into the role of trusted mentor once again. “Easy now Barbara, breath through your nose, calm down and breath through your nose girl.”

With that, Batman began thrusting twice as hard, nearly giving Barbara fucking whiplash, and probably a few ulcers in the process. Just when Batgirl thought she was about to pass out, the brutal deep-stomach fucking stopped abruptly.

Struggling to maintain her composure, Batgirl watched as Batman slowly removed his schlong from her innards, a process which took several long, painful seconds to complete. With the 100% all beef thermometer removed, the female crime fighter fell to her hands and knees, coughing, gagging, and drooling all over the place.

“T-that… that was… the BEST BLOW JOB I’VE EVER FUCKING HAD!” cried Batgirl between pants of adrenalin fueled exhaustion.

“Damn straight it was. Because I’m Batman.” said Batman grinning like a proud father who just found out his son’s wiener is a mile long. “Now clean my purple-headed warrior.”

Batgirl wasn’t sure if it complied with the feminist code, but she promptly used her beautiful reddish-auburn hair to clean the muck and slime off of Batman’s giggle-stick.

“Good girl.” said Batman, patting her on the head.

“Stop saying ‘good girl,’ you cross-eyed douchewaffel! It’s misogynistic, goddamnit!” cursed Batgirl, getting all pissy again.

“Like I give a fuck!” retorted Batman like a man who didn’t give a fuck.

He then swung his dick like when Al Capone executed that guy in the Untouchables (1987), and knocked the hormonally driven girl in the head with enough force to cause even Wonder Woman make a miscarriage.

Batgirl was knocked to the ground in a daze. “What the fuck are you doing!” screeched Batgirl, angrily pulling herself up to her knees. “You stupid fucking…”

Batgirl was cut off as the massive middle-leg-monster hit her in the head again, and again, and again. Batman stood over his sidekick, brutally beating her with his hockey-cocky until she literally began to cry.

“W-why are you doing this…” sobbed Batgirl, her tears staining the concrete like beautiful falling raindrops.

“I don’t have any lube in my utility belt.” responded Batman, giving her one last whack. “I need your tears.”

“What?” gasped Batgirl. But before she could protest, Batman had grabbed her by her dirty hair, and began shaking her head to sprinkle her tears.

“Goddamn it stop that! You’re seriously going to give me whiplash you anal bead eating cuck!” whined Batgirl as she cried like a comic book fan on prom night.

But it was only a moment before Batman had all the tears he needed and released the weak female from his iron grasp.

Taking a moment to collect herself, Batgirl’s vision cleared up, and she came to her senses. “You are one stupid anal bending cock rancher.” she said. “I could have just spit on your tallywhacker, you fucking diseased mongoloid cunt puncher.”

“Those tears weren’t for my skin flute.” growled Batman holding up his tear soaked fist. “NOW BEND OVER BITCH!!”

The shocked girl had only seconds to realized what was happening before her mentor grabbed her by the hair, bent her over, spread her dainty butt cheeks, and rammed his fist so far up her ass, she farted out her mouth with a sound that resembled Chewbacca being castrated.

After the mighty mouth fart subsided, only cries of Batgirl’s ecstasy could be heard, piercing the blood red night as Batman bat-fisted the fuck out of her ass with 5 million PSI per square metric inch.

“Fuck me harder shit head!” she cried in delight, as her legs quivered with electric blinding white pleasure waves of intensity.

Batman complied, fisting Batgirl so hard that shit and sweat began flying all over the place, making it look like he had just gone mud bogging like a West Alabama inbred sister-fucker.

“Know your place woman!” snapped Batman, making sure she knew that he wasn’t just tearing her ass up because she told him to. He had a reputation to maintain after all.

As the shit and sweat battered him, Batman battered dat ass, roughly pushing Batgirl up against the power generators. He fisted her so hard that her head was repeatedly slammed into them, giving her a concussion so sublime, it felt like she was rising to orgasmic heaven to meet God and Jesus and personally shake their dicks.

Then suddenly and without warning, the pleasure became so intense that Batgirl began to see sparks flying all over the place. “OH MY GOD I’M CUMMMMMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGG!” she screamed as the generator blew the fuck up, throwing the girl and her mentor clear across the rooftop like a discarded fleshlight thrown across the room in shame after it had served its purpose.

Slowly the dust settled, and in that profound moment Batman came to his senses. He pulled himself up off the ground, taking a moment to reflect upon the intensely profane sexual act he had just committed. Reveling in his sexual conquest, the Batman grinned like Brian Michael Bendis when he got DnA fired from writing the Guardians of the Galaxy comic, and took their place so he could cash in on the movie’s success.

“Oh my fucking god help!”

Becoming alert at once, Batman’s bat-senses picked up a cry for help! It reminded him of the time he heard a woman crying for help while she was being raped in an ice cream truck, and he jacked off for 15 minutes before saving her.

But wait, where was Batgirl!?

“Shit fuck!” cursed Batman as he suddenly realized a true tragedy was about to happen! Batgirl was in trouble like the weak pathetic female she was!

And only a big strong man like him could save her…

Rushing towards the sounds of her cries for help, Batman found Batgirl dangling over the edge of the building, holding on to a window ledge for dear life.

“Bruce you stupid herpes licking anal scuba diver, help me goddamnit!” she cursed as her mentor peered over the edge of the rooftop and chuckled at her predicament.

“Use your fucking bat-line you autistic fuck!” snapped Batman. “What the fuck did I even train you for?”

“I don’t have it dickweed! I dropped it when you were fisting me!” screeched Batgirl in a near-PMS fueled panic. “Hurry up and save me you stupid self-sodomizing AIDS dispenser!”

Batman rolled his eyes. Women. Always getting themselves into trouble and needing a man’s help to fix their mess.

Shaking his head, and breathing a sigh of resignation, Batman lowered his half limp pork-sword over the side, and let Batgirl climb up to safety.

Thank you Bruce Timm…” whispered Batman under his breath as he felt her delicate hands all over his mighty one-eyed trouser snake.

“You’re such a fucking stupid taint sniffer!” shouted Batgirl catching her breath. “Now that that generator blew the fuck up, the cops are going to come! We’re in deep shit now!”

“Fuck the cops. What are they going to do, we’re white.” laughed Batman folding his arms.

“You dumb cis fuck, if my dad finds out I’ve been riding your big Italian salami, it’ll be all over.” snapped Batgirl viciously.

“Calm the fuck down, we’re leaving soon anyway.” replied Batman.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” said Batgirl with a huff. “You’re such a stupid trout-faced colon blender!”

Wait for it…” thought Batman to himself, his smug grin never wavering.

“But… you know… it was kind of sweet how you lubed up before you fisted my ass into Hamburger Helper. That was really thoughtful of you…” said Batgirl calming down, her female hormones giving her a profound mood swing.

Got em.’” thought Batman to himself, licking his lips. Bitches love it when you’re thoughtful when it comes to fisting. It was time to fuck for real now, and he could smell the thick musky odor of her blazing pussy a mile away.

“Hey, put your ass hole back in your ass so I can smash dat goonch.” said Batman casually, gesturing to Batgirl’s ass.

Batgirl suddenly blushed with embarrassment. She knew she had been fisted hard, but hadn’t quite realized her asshole was hanging out like a pink sock. Quickly she shoveled it back into her ass while Batman looked on, whipping his snake-like wang around casually.

“There, it’s back in. And if I clench my ass really tight, I can keep it from falling out and…mahagph!” gasped Batgirl as Batman pounced on her, and threw her to the ground.

Batman didn’t even take a moment to lift up her shirt and play with her bat-titties before spreading her legs, and grabbing a fist full of her muff scruff. “Better get rid of this shit, my dick will burst into flames from the friction if I don’t.” he muttered as he violently yanked Batgirl’s hairport out in one brutal jerk.

“HOLY FUCK THAT HURT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” screamed Batgirl, her voice echoing into the brutal, depressing Gotham night.

“Don’t give a fuck.” said Batman, positioning his yogurt-slinger for maximum penetration.

“BRUCE STOP!” shouted Batgirl with all the authority of a fat violent triggered feminist who had just seen a 14-year-old girl in a bikini on TV.

“What?” asked Batman, his cock-a-saurus rex just millimeters from horse fucking his sidekick. He may be many things, but the goddamn Batman wasn’t a rapist. He was saving that for Martha Kent if Superman ever cock blocked him again.

“Bruce you stupid fuckfaced pig molesterer, we need protection.” she said glaring up at him indignantly, legitimacy pissed that the world’s greatest detective wouldn’t think about such a thing.

“Uh… I have protection. His name is Bruce Timm.” said Batman in all seriousness.

“Listen here you stupid monkey fucking dickhole, all the plot armor in the world isn’t going to stop your penis-pudding from impregnating me.” replied Batgirl. “And if you get me pregnant, and I have a miscarriage, Robin will never speak to you again.”

“Hmm, you have a point.” said Batman thoughtfully. He then stood up, his dingle-dang, dingle-dangling all over the place. Pulling out his trendy iPhone from his utility belt, he made a quick call.

“Who the hell are you calling!?” screeched Batgirl. “Don’t you know how rude it is to use the phone during the middle of sex you incestuous web-toed turd herder?”

Batman just smiled and pointed to the distant blood red sky. “Right on time.”

Batgirl strained her vision looking in the distance when finally, she saw it. The Batplane. And it was flying straight towards them at full speed!

As the Batplane blazed forth in a streak of glory, a panel opened up on the bottom of it and a straight, long, hard canon popped out and extended.

“Hey, why isn’t the plane slowing the fuck down? What the fuck?” said Batgirl, beginning to get a little uncomfortable.

“Hit me. Come on, hit me! Come on hit me! HIT ME!” shouted Batman like a fucking psychotic clown, daring the Batplane to hit him.

With the roar of a thousand angry feminists PMSing, the Batplane fired the cannon, belching smoke and flame. The projectile, a small circular latex disk flew through the air at Mach 57 and hit Batman right in the pecker, unrolling and sheathing his mighty chub all in one go.

“Gay Jesus Christ!” shouted Batgirl, ducking in terror as the Batplane sped past just 2 centimeters over their heads, and off into the opposite direction, the violent backdraft whipping her hair about like a cheap prostitute.

“Good work Alfred. I’m glad I had you on standby for condom delivery duty.” said Batman into his phone. “No Alfred, you don’t get any speaking parts in this story, FUCK YOU! Now turn that plane around, and prepare for Operation: Double Penetration!”

“What the fetus fucking hell is going on here?” shouted Batgirl at her mentor. “We could have been killed!”

“Doesn’t matter. Time to fuck!” shouted Batman, charging straight towards Batgirl and knocking her onto her back with a diving cross chop. Not wasting any time, he ran back a little, turned around, and began charging straight at her again, his hard condom encased winky locked onto her stench trench like a the heat seeking missile that shot down Goose in Top Gun.

Then… he leaped into the air like a gay fairy.

For a surreal moment it looked to Batgirl like Batman was doing some sort of fancy swan dive, legs together, arms out stretched, like he was about to dive right into her pussy. Then he spread his legs wide, right as the Batplane zoomed up behind him at Mach 234, the phallic cannon heading right towards his tight, brown ass hole…

“HHHHOOOLLLYYYYYY SSSSSHHHIIIIITTTTTTT!!” screamed Batgirl in orgasmic terror as the cannon penetrated Batman’s ass, and drove him forward and into her pussy at speeds that even the Flash on crack couldn’t comprehend.

And in that moment, they were off…


“Did you know that the female short-nosed fruit bat, also known as the Cynopterus sphinx, performs oral sex, or fellatio as it is known in some countries, on males to prolong copulation?”

“What… what the fuck?” Batgirl came to her senses, after having blacked out from the most intense orgasm of her life, to find Batman fucking her senseless in midair as the Batplane flew over the fragrant landscape below.

"WOOOOOSH!" said the Batplane as it flew really fast.

“Also guess what, in West Africa, small woolly bats make their homes in large spider webs.” continued Batman, gripping one of her tight ass cheeks in each fist, and slamming his dick into her like a pussy monger. Combined with the speed of the Batplane, it is estimated that Batman was fucking his sidekick at Mach 5,479.04, a new world record!

“Oh my god I’m cumming again!” screamed Batgirl as her hips bucked hard and her pussy juice spewed all over the place, like the volcano under Yellow Stone National Park that’s overdue for eruption and could wipe out the human race at any moment.

Like falling stars, the droplets of Batgirl’s pussy juice fell through the night sky, and right onto the meat cooking on a grill of a family in the suburbs below, flavoring it with that raunchy taste that Americans love so much.

But soon, the Batplane left the borders of the greatest nation on earth, and headed out into uncharted territory.

“Hey look, we’re flying over Hong Kong!” shouted Batman, struggling to be heard over the roar of the Batplane’s mighty engines. “FUCK those squinty eye Japs!” he roared flipping them off.

“Check your white privilege you racist pube slurping douche guzzler!” shouted Batgirl, slapping him across the face. But secretly, Batman’s racism made her even hornier...

And being slapped just invigorated Batman’s rhino powered libido even more. He smiled as he felt two hard bumps pressing up against his chest, and was glad he didn’t have his face near Batgirl’s breasts or her nipples would have stabbed his fucking eyes out and left him blind as a bat.

The intense mid-air flight of fucking continued for hours, maybe even days. The Batplane circled the globe so many times that Alfred thought that time would turn backwards, or maybe forwards, the senile old fuck didn’t know shit.

But no matter the case, the wild sex had to stop sometime. Despite being able to cum an infinite amount of times thanks to his GOD Bruce Timm, Batman had promised his mother as she lay dying in that alleyway years ago that he’d never cum more than 665 times in one fuck session.

And a promise was a promise.

“I’ve can only cum one more time.” said Batman as the Batplane took a sharp left and headed back towards Gotham. “I’m going to make it a good one.”

“Oh please! Please cum in me again!” squealed Batgirl, wrapping her legs around her mentor and father figure, and humping his dick as best she could. She felt a little bit ashamed to be talking like that, being a feminist and all, but she just couldn’t’ contain herself during the most fuckable moment of her life.

“Alright, here we go!” shouted Batman as the Batplane banked low over the Gotham skyline. “I’MMMMMMM CUMMMMMIINNNNNGGGGG ASHGDASGHASODHGOIASHGODSAHGIASHG!” he roared as his white gentlemen’s relish explode from his doinker, launching Batgirl off of him and into the night like a shell from a UK howitzer firing on innocent civilians in Iraq.

“Bruce you saggy slut milking diarrhea spelunking dickkkkkkkkkkkkkk!” screamed Batgirl as she flew off into the distance.

With a sigh of relief, Batman wiped the sweat from his brown. “Take us home Alfred.” He said, beaming with satisfaction over the conclusion of a good fuck-a-doodle-doo.


“OH MY FUCKING GOD I’m GOING TO DIE!” was Batgirl’s last thought before she hit the water, doing the most painful belly flop in the history of the universe.

Struggling to breath, she choked, gagged, and fought to the surface, sucking down deep mouthfuls of air into her lungs as she splashed around, struggling to stay afloat.

Reaching out she grabbed onto something solid, something concrete, when she realized that she was in the pool in her backyard. “Holy fuck he has good aim…” she gasped, looking around into the still, quiet night.

“What’s all this dagum ruckus out here?” shouted Jim Gordon, opening the sliding glass door, and storming out onto the patio brandishing a hand gun. “There better not be fucking child molesterererers out here, or I’ll put two in ya!”

“Oh shit, I still have the top of my Batgirl costume on!” realized Barbara, fear flooding through her veins like an icy cold sexless night. “He’ll find out I’m Batgirl!”

“Barbara dear, is that you?” questioned Jim, approaching the pool cautiously.

“Y-yes daddy!” said Barbara before quickly ducking beneath the water and pulling off the rest of her costume and throwing it the bottom of the pool.

“What in blue blaze are you doing out here at this time of night young lady?” exclaimed Jim scratching his head. Then he noticed… “By the great ghost of Malcom X! You’re naked as a jay bird!”

“I uh… I was just… I wanted to have some… seeee… sssssee… some ssseexx… sex with you…” stammered Barbara, her face turning redder than the napalm Dex Starr vomits onto his victims, partially because she was embarrassed to be seen naked by her dad, partially because she was furious that Bruce put her in such a predicament.

“Well young lady, I’ll have you know that it’s not right and proper for a father to have sex with his daughter.” said Jim, rubbing his gun all over his crotch, a feral gleam lighting up in his eyes. “I think you need to be… uh… punished for your lewdness young lady…”

Barbara rolled her eyes at what a stereotypical line that was. Obviously her dad had been watching quadriplegic midget porn online again…

“Come on in Daddy, let’s have pool sex!” giggled Barbara playfully, splashing the water around a bit.

“Well hot diggity dog, I must be the luckiest father on the planet! Yaaaahoooooo!” shouted Jim as he pulled his wrinkled old groin ferret out and began marching towards the pool. Then, his expression changed… “Barbara… why is your anus hanging out of your pretty bottom like a pink sock?” he asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

Damn you Bruce!” cursed Barbara inwardly.

To Be FUCKING Continued…

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, be sure to share it. Thank you for reading. :)

You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story